inviting celebrities to your wedding

mikenberger · November 2014

Jen4948 said:

mikenberger said:

Man, listen to everybody crap all over it. Invite celebrities if you want. Its not harming anybody.

It may not "harm anyone" at best, but at worst it's a waste of time and resources that could be better spent on the guests who will accept the invitation-and whom you actually have relationships with.

Lol I don't think anybody is claiming that a celeb is coming and they're saving a seat for them and spending the resources. Seriously. What a ridiculous thing to argue on. Enjoy

Jen4948 · November 2014

mikenberger said:

Jen4948 said:

mikenberger said:

Man, listen to everybody crap all over it. Invite celebrities if you want. Its not harming anybody.

It may not "harm anyone" at best, but at worst it's a waste of time and resources that could be better spent on the guests who will accept the invitation-and whom you actually have relationships with.

Lol I don't think anybody is claiming that a celeb is coming and they're saving a seat for them and spending the resources. Seriously. What a ridiculous thing to argue on. Enjoy

As noted, several other posters think that what's "ridiculous" is inviting someone you have no relationship with and who will probably decline the invitation because of your lack of a relationship with them-regardless of whether you think it's worth arguing about.

ohannabelle · November 2014

What a thing to quibble about. BFD. I don't roll my eyes at this.

Invite a celebrity or two, if you admire them. Why not? If it makes you laugh, postage well spent. If Tom Hanks or the Dali Lama actually RSVP yes, you would fit them in. And make sure there was a vegetarian option for the Dali Lama, exactly like any other guest.

I like the cards from the president. I have one from Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter, and it's a charming little time piece sort of souvenir in my album. My grandkids or great grandkids will probably get a smile out of it. If my grandma had a card from Franklin and Eleanor, or even Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, I'd get a kick out of it.

No time or resources were squandered at the expense of any guest, and no guest suffered by my sending a spare invitation. His a Holiness The Dali Lama was a no show.

Jen4948 · November 2014

You can think so if it makes you happy, dear. It still seems like a stupid waste of time and money to me, which I can think if it makes me happy.

ohannabelle · November 2014

Yes. Thank you for the permission.

You sound happy. (Dear?)

Jen4948 · November 2014

As it happens, I love a post you recently made in another thread. You articulated very well a point of view I agree with albeit on a different topic.

Viczaesar · November 2014

Jen4948 said:

Jen4948 said:

lotsosandwiches said:

Jen4948 said:

Is anyone who wants to do this prepared to actually host the celebrities and deal with all their security and other issues on the tiniest chance that the invitation will actually be accepted?

We always say to be prepared for 100% attendance, and that includes celebrities too-oh, and their SOs.

Haha. That's a problem I'd be more than happy to take on. Lol.

Stuck in box...

Well, then you'll also have to cope with their demands for special foods, drinks, music, photography, security and just about everything connected to the wedding.

Also, consider something like what happens in The Godfather when Johnny Fontane shows up at Connie's wedding. He upstages the couple. Do you really want that to happen at your wedding?

No more than you would have to for any other guest. It's rude for any guest to demand special food, aside from being accommodated for allergies and dietary restrictions. Same with drinks and music. If they make any special requests for photography they should be accommodated if possible, just like you would for the comfort of any guest. It would be rude of them to request special security at the host's expense, but if they're planning on bringing their own security then they should be accommodated if at all possibly, and if not, told "I'm sorry, but due to XYZ reasons we are unable to accommodate your request. I hope you are still able to join us." Just like with any other guest.

On the whole I'm meh on the topic of inviting famous people, but I find the bolded to be ridiculous.
And celebrities are famous for good manners and not having entitled attitudes and not throwing temper tantrums if they don't get their way even if it's not "their" occasion? Bullshit. You can find it "ridiculous" but you're in a minority. Some are good, polite people, but some are so used to the spotlight and having their own way that they make non-celebrity 'zillas look tame.

Speaking of ridiculous. *eyeroll* Tell me, please, exactly how many celebrities you are intimately familiar with?

Celebrity guests are just like any other guests. Accommodate their requests if you can, politely decline if you can't. They can choose to not attend after all if their requests are not accommodated, just like any other guest.

Viczaesar · November 2014

Jen4948 said:

mikenberger said:

Man, listen to everybody crap all over it. Invite celebrities if you want. Its not harming anybody.

It may not "harm anyone" at best, but at worst it's a waste of time and resources that could be better spent on the guests who will accept the invitation-and whom you actually have relationships with.

Who said anything about inviting celebrities at the expense of guests they would otherwise invite?

Jen4948 · November 2014

If it makes you happy to think it's "ridiculous," @Viczaesar‌, feel free, just as I will do the same about your opinions.

Viczaesar · November 2014

Jen4948 said:

If it makes you happy to think it's "ridiculous," @Viczaesar‌, feel free, just as I will do the same about your opinions.

How grade school of you, as usual.

Jen4948 · November 2014

Post deleted

danamw · December 2014

The only example I have of a celebrity attending anything is Bruce Willis & Demi Moore. A girl I worked with, her husband was working for a caterer who did the high school reunion of Bruce's class. This was back a way, when Demi was pregnant with their 2nd or 3rd child.

They attended with no entourage or security, they said they wanted to be simply a member of the class, and his wife. No special treatment.

This wasn't a wedding, of course. Bruce was entitled to be invited, but I bet the reunion committee didn't expect them to show up, in New Jersey on a Friday night!

sdawsonca · December 2014

I think it's fine. I'm probably going to send ones to the obama's and the disney princesses provided I have extras. And I might send one to a fun celebrity or too. The worse that could happen is they actually send something back and you get a cool memento to add to your wedding book

dcbride86 · December 2014

@jen4948 - I don't understand how inviting a celebrity has anything to do with time or resources spent on other guests. If I invite celebrities (I will likely send an invite to the President but that's it), it certainly wouldn't be at the expense of other guests. It's not like I won't have a leftover invitation for my guests.

I just don't understand why you are SO intense about something that really has NO effect on you (or on any guests at the wedding). It seems a bit silly to me to care so much about what someone does with an extra invitation.

Jen4948 · December 2014

dcbride86 said:
@jen4948 - I don't understand how inviting a celebrity has anything to do with time or resources spent on other guests. If I invite celebrities (I will likely send an invite to the President but that's it), it certainly wouldn't be at the expense of other guests. It's not like I won't have a leftover invitation for my guests.
I just don't understand why you are SO intense about something that really has NO effect on you (or on any guests at the wedding). It seems a bit silly to me to care so much about what someone does with an extra invitation.

Well, first of all, I'm allowed to "care" about anything the fuck I feel like.

Second, we always advise posters to plan for 100 percent attendance and not assume any guest, celebrity or not, will be a no-show, however unlikely it is that they will attend (along with their SO), so they have to allot the same portion of their venue space and budget for them on the assumption that they are attending as for any other guest. That can mean that at least one person who they actually have a relationship with must be left out to make room for someone they have no relationship with just as an ego boost. Imagine how it would feel to not be invited to the wedding of someone close to you only to be told that the President or some star who the couple doesn't know was!

Plus, I can think of better ways the government can spend my tax dollars than paying people to RSVP no to invitations to the President and First Lady from people they have no relationship with who sent the invitation solely for an autograph which may be machine-applied, not even handwritten.

dcbride86 · December 2014

Jen4948 said:

@jen4948 - I don't understand how inviting a celebrity has anything to do with time or resources spent on other guests. If I invite celebrities (I will likely send an invite to the President but that's it), it certainly wouldn't be at the expense of other guests. It's not like I won't have a leftover invitation for my guests.
I just don't understand why you are SO intense about something that really has NO effect on you (or on any guests at the wedding). It seems a bit silly to me to care so much about what someone does with an extra invitation.
Well, first of all, I'm allowed to "care" about anything the fuck I feel like. Second, we always advise posters to plan for 100 percent attendance and not assume any guest, celebrity or not, will be a no-show, however unlikely it is that they will attend (along with their SO), so they have to allot the same portion of their venue space and budget for them on the assumption that they are attending as for any other guest. That can mean that at least one person who they actually have a relationship with must be left out to make room for someone they have no relationship with just as an ego boost. Imagine how it would feel to not be invited to the wedding of someone close to you only to be told that the President or some star who the couple doesn't know was! Plus, I can think of better ways the government can spend my tax dollars than paying people to RSVP no to invitations to the President and First Lady from people they have no relationship with who sent the invitation solely for an autograph which may be machine-applied, not even handwritten.

@Jen4948 - I never said you weren't allowed to care. I said I didn't kow why you do care. There's a difference. You're super intense about this, though. I've never heard of someone having such a strong opinion about what others do with extra invitations.

Again, President Obama is NOT taking anyone's spot. That's absurd. In the insanely unlikely event he shows up, I'll make room, and pay the unexpected extra plates for dinner. The White House snipers can actually see my venue from the White House and surrounding buildings, so I guess his security detail would be all set, and I wouldn't have to worry about it.

I'm also not doing it for an "ego boost." It would be very strange for someone to invite a celebrity who they know will likely NOT show up for an "ego boost." Getting rejected rarely boosts one ego. Rather, I'm inviting him because I think my kids or grandkids or whoever might think it's cool one say to see the letter you get back. Yes, the autograph is definitely stamped - but I still think it might be a cute little thing to have, particularly because my dad is a political strategist and we have all sorts of random little things from various politicians.

Also, the government is really not paying for this, other than the actual paper on which it's printed and the stamp. I'm sure they have an unpaid intern doing the work. Sure, this might be seen as a waste of government resources, but by that logic, so are the letters kids get back from Santa, or the flight and money that goes to pardoning a turkey every Thanksgiving.

Jen4948 · December 2014

Why don't we agree to disagree about this?

Maggie0829 · December 2014

I think sending invites to celebrities is silly. Not because of the whole 100% attendance thing but because you don't know these people. They don't know you. So why send an invite? To me this leans towards someone contemplating jumping aboard the crazy stalker train.

But then again, it won't hurt anyone and doesn't involve the comfort of your guests for you to send an invite just to get a signature, whether handwritten or printed via computer. Because lets face it, the possibility of them actually coming to your wedding is about as likely as you winning the lottery.

AddieCake · December 2014

I will forever find it lame and pointless to invite celebrities, Disney characters, the Pope, and any other people you don't know to an event.

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