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Levels of Formality

714305714305 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wasn't sure if the Etiquette board was where I should post this but I was wondering what the different levels, from Casual to Black Tie, what fell in between?
I'm seeing quite a few discussions with the words "Black Tie" and "Black Tie Optional" and I was just wondering if there was something that feel below but not quite Casual?
Sorry if I'm rambling!
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Re: Levels of Formality

  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    A formal wedding can be fancy and formal without being a black tie event

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  • AlexisA01AlexisA01 member
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    I feel like the OP is just asking what are differences/criteria for each of the events (casual through Black Tie etc).

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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
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    AlexisA01 said:

    I feel like the OP is just asking what are differences/criteria for each of the events (casual through Black Tie etc).

    But there aren't criteria for them. Generally a plated dinner is more formal than buffet or stations, but that doesn't mean you can't have a formal wedding with stations, or cocktails and apps only. Generally a formal wedding has live entertainment, but that doesn't mean you can't have a band at a casual wedding.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    714305 said:
    Wasn't sure if the Etiquette board was where I should post this but I was wondering what the different levels, from Casual to Black Tie, what fell in between?
    I'm seeing quite a few discussions with the words "Black Tie" and "Black Tie Optional" and I was just wondering if there was something that feel below but not quite Casual?
    Sorry if I'm rambling!
    For weddings, the only thing that can ever be indicated on the invitations about dress code are:

    1) if the venue has certain restrictions (e.g. a restaurant that requires a jacket, a country club that requires no denim)
    2) "Black tie"

    For #1, this is so that guests have a heads up about the venue's restrictions and don't get refused entry. For #2, this is only for true black tie events. There's a trend right now to put stuff like "black tie optional" or "black tie invited" on invites, but it's basically hosts saying "we don't think you'll dress fancy enough for our event that's not actually black tie, so we're trying to tell you to dress up." It's super rude and not even a thing. 

    For anything else, dress code should never be indicated. The way you can indicate formality is via your venue choice (swanky ballroom vs. banquet hall vs. backyard bbq), your invitations (colorful single sheet w/ casual wording vs. engraved pocket style w/ outer envelope and formal wording), etc.
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  • AlexisA01AlexisA01 member
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    lolo883 said:

    AlexisA01 said:

    I feel like the OP is just asking what are differences/criteria for each of the events (casual through Black Tie etc).

    But there aren't criteria for them. Generally a plated dinner is more formal than buffet or stations, but that doesn't mean you can't have a formal wedding with stations, or cocktails and apps only. Generally a formal wedding has live entertainment, but that doesn't mean you can't have a band at a casual wedding.
    I understand but she was wondering the difference of black tie vs casual in the levels is formality. There's criteria for black tie. She keeps seeing the difference names for formal informal style, she just wants a explanation of them. She could be talking about dress style or function...I hope she comes back with more of an explanation.

    Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.

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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    AlexisA01 said:
    I feel like the OP is just asking what are differences/criteria for each of the events (casual through Black Tie etc).
    But there aren't criteria for them. Generally a plated dinner is more formal than buffet or stations, but that doesn't mean you can't have a formal wedding with stations, or cocktails and apps only. Generally a formal wedding has live entertainment, but that doesn't mean you can't have a band at a casual wedding.
    I understand but she was wondering the difference of black tie vs casual in the levels is formality. There's criteria for black tie. She keeps seeing the difference names for formal informal style, she just wants a explanation of them. She could be talking about dress style or function...I hope she comes back with more of an explanation.
    Well she did ask for something "below black tie but not quite casual," for which there are no defined criteria.
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  • redoryxredoryx member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    lolo883 said:
    AlexisA01 said:
    I feel like the OP is just asking what are differences/criteria for each of the events (casual through Black Tie etc).
    But there aren't criteria for them. Generally a plated dinner is more formal than buffet or stations, but that doesn't mean you can't have a formal wedding with stations, or cocktails and apps only. Generally a formal wedding has live entertainment, but that doesn't mean you can't have a band at a casual wedding.
    I understand but she was wondering the difference of black tie vs casual in the levels is formality. There's criteria for black tie. She keeps seeing the difference names for formal informal style, she just wants a explanation of them. She could be talking about dress style or function...I hope she comes back with more of an explanation.
    Well she did ask for something "below black tie but not quite casual," for which there are no defined criteria.


    QFT.

    Black Tie is a Thing, both in terms of style and function.

    White Tie is a Thing, both in terms of style and function.

    Both of these are types of formal wear.

    Everything else is, well, everything else. More often than not just unwritten rules regarding dress codes and attire that have been adopted but aren't really a Thing with protocal like BT and WT.

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  • dcbride86dcbride86 member
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    Do people still have White Tie events?  I've never heard of someone having a white tie wedding, although I think FI said they're more common in the south, so maybe that's partly why.

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  • redoryxredoryx member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    I don't know about weddings, but White Tie I think is still frequently used for state dinners and maybe certain gala events or débutante balls.

    Technically speaking, Black Tie is semiformal compared to White Tie which is why descriptions like "formal" and "informal" and "semiformal" are fluid and don't really mean much.

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  • Liatris2010Liatris2010 mod
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    714305 said:
    Wasn't sure if the Etiquette board was where I should post this but I was wondering what the different levels, from Casual to Black Tie, what fell in between?
    I'm seeing quite a few discussions with the words "Black Tie" and "Black Tie Optional" and I was just wondering if there was something that feel below but not quite Casual?
    Sorry if I'm rambling!

    Black Tie has a very specific definition. All of the things below Black Tie do not. Things like "semi-formal" and "business casual" are vague descriptions that cause more confusion than they clear.

    People will determine the formality of your event by the invite (cream, engraved invites on heavy paper addressed with fancy calligraphy indicate something much more formal than an mutli-colored invite on lighter paper addressed with your regular handwriting) and the venue. Most venues have websites, so if people aren't sure of how fancy it is and want to know, they will google, look at pictures, and figure it out.

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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2014
    Black tie - everyone wears tuxedos and floor length gowns.  (There is no such thing as "black tie optional".)
    Formal- cocktail dresses for ladies, suits for men, bridal party may wear tuxedos and gowns after 6:00 PM.
    Semi-formal - suits for all men.  Church clothes for ladies.  Bridesmaids usually wear short dresses.  Most daytime weddings are this style in the USA.
    Informal - khakis acceptable.  Sundresses fine for ladies.  Men in wedding party wear sports jackets with ties.  This would also describe courthouse ceremony attire.

    There is really no such category as casual.  I would imagine this would mean jeans, shorts, whatever.

    Sources:  Emily Post, Miss Manners.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2014
    CMGragain said:
    Black tie - everyone wears tuxedos and floor length gowns.  (There is no such thing as "black tie optional".)
    Formal- cocktail dresses for ladies, suits for men, bridal party may wear tuxedos and gowns after 6:00 PM.
    Semi-formal - suits for all men.  Church clothes for ladies.  Bridesmaids usually wear short dresses.  Most daytime weddings are this style in the USA.
    Informal - khakis acceptable.  Sundresses fine for ladies.  Men in wedding party wear sports jackets with ties.  This would also describe courthouse ceremony attire.

    There is really no such category as casual.  I would imagine this would mean jeans, shorts, whatever.

    Sources:  Emily Post, Miss Manners.
    Even at a formal wedding anyone- guest or WP- may wear a tuxedo or gown.  And the after 6pm rule is pretty outdated.

    I think it's more important for the attire to match the formality of the venue, regardless of the time of day.  This was my church. . . I don't think tuxes looked inappropriate just because my ceremony was in the late afternoon.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Take 2 on attachment.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    Take 2 on attachment.

    Beautiful church. I just got a Christmas party invitation with Festive Attire indicated. WTF?
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  • redoryxredoryx member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    NYCMercedes said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    Take 2 on attachment.

    Beautiful church. I just got a Christmas party invitation with Festive Attire indicated. WTF?

    You should dress super obnoxious. Like, Ugly Sweater taken to DEFCON 1 or something.
    image
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Just want to chime in that "what falls in between" could be anything.
    Interestingly, we had our ceremony and reception on a Saturday night at a restaurant that technically has a business casual dress code.  So, on my wedding website, I put something to the effect of, "Please note the venue has a dress code, which can be accessed [link]. They require at least business casual, meaning no jeans or sneakers."  

    A few women at my wedding showed up in floor length gowns (nothing toooo fancy, but still floor-length), and a few women actually showed up in elegant business casual.  But no one wore jeans! 
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  • 714305714305 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    CMGragain said:
    Black tie - everyone wears tuxedos and floor length gowns.  (There is no such thing as "black tie optional".)
    Formal- cocktail dresses for ladies, suits for men, bridal party may wear tuxedos and gowns after 6:00 PM.
    Semi-formal - suits for all men.  Church clothes for ladies.  Bridesmaids usually wear short dresses.  Most daytime weddings are this style in the USA.
    Informal - khakis acceptable.  Sundresses fine for ladies.  Men in wedding party wear sports jackets with ties.  This would also describe courthouse ceremony attire.

    There is really no such category as casual.  I would imagine this would mean jeans, shorts, whatever.

    Sources:  Emily Post, Miss Manners.
    OP here, I was just wondering because I got a wedding invite that said "Formal" on it (and, yes I know it's super rude to tell people how to dress). I felt odd that it was there. But then again, I'm not a fancy person so I'm glad you could give me a guideline. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    714305 said:
    CMGragain said:
    Black tie - everyone wears tuxedos and floor length gowns.  (There is no such thing as "black tie optional".)
    Formal- cocktail dresses for ladies, suits for men, bridal party may wear tuxedos and gowns after 6:00 PM.
    Semi-formal - suits for all men.  Church clothes for ladies.  Bridesmaids usually wear short dresses.  Most daytime weddings are this style in the USA.
    Informal - khakis acceptable.  Sundresses fine for ladies.  Men in wedding party wear sports jackets with ties.  This would also describe courthouse ceremony attire.

    There is really no such category as casual.  I would imagine this would mean jeans, shorts, whatever.

    Sources:  Emily Post, Miss Manners.
    OP here, I was just wondering because I got a wedding invite that said "Formal" on it (and, yes I know it's super rude to tell people how to dress). I felt odd that it was there. But then again, I'm not a fancy person so I'm glad you could give me a guideline. 
    Honestly I think that "formal" can be interpreted differently from person to person.  Formal to me is super fancy cocktail dress or long gown.  While others could think of it more as simple cocktail dress.  While others may think if they put on a pair of nice slacks and a blouse that that is formal.  So this is why we tell brides that trying to tell people how to dress just doesn't work because 1) it is rude, 2) everyone's definition of "formal", "semi-formal", etc is different and 3) because people interpret things differently your vision of formal attire may or may not be met by all of your guests.

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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    714305 said:
    CMGragain said:
    Black tie - everyone wears tuxedos and floor length gowns.  (There is no such thing as "black tie optional".)
    Formal- cocktail dresses for ladies, suits for men, bridal party may wear tuxedos and gowns after 6:00 PM.
    Semi-formal - suits for all men.  Church clothes for ladies.  Bridesmaids usually wear short dresses.  Most daytime weddings are this style in the USA.
    Informal - khakis acceptable.  Sundresses fine for ladies.  Men in wedding party wear sports jackets with ties.  This would also describe courthouse ceremony attire.

    There is really no such category as casual.  I would imagine this would mean jeans, shorts, whatever.

    Sources:  Emily Post, Miss Manners.
    OP here, I was just wondering because I got a wedding invite that said "Formal" on it (and, yes I know it's super rude to tell people how to dress). I felt odd that it was there. But then again, I'm not a fancy person so I'm glad you could give me a guideline. 
    Aha, so you're asking as a guest, not as the host. That makes a difference. Glad you can see how improper and confusing it was for the host to do that.

    Generally, I would do a nice cocktail dress and heels. You can do a Google Image search for the name of the venue + "wedding" and see what it looks like and let that guide you. Or you can share some more of the details (venue, what the invitation looks like, time of day, etc.) and we can help you choose something to wear. :) We like to e-window shop!
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    image
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    714305 said:
    OP here, I was just wondering because I got a wedding invite that said "Formal" on it (and, yes I know it's super rude to tell people how to dress). I felt odd that it was there. But then again, I'm not a fancy person so I'm glad you could give me a guideline. 
    If invited to a "formal" wedding, I would dress just under black tie. But I think this really depends on your circle, like Maggie said.

    For some people "formal" just means they're supposed to dress above a sun dress or khakis. 

    Try to take queues from the formality of the venue and time of day. For most weddings, I really don't think you can go wrong with a decent cocktail dress or a suit/tie. 
    *********************************************************************************

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  • 714305714305 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    lolo883 said:
    714305 said:
    CMGragain said:
    Black tie - everyone wears tuxedos and floor length gowns.  (There is no such thing as "black tie optional".)
    Formal- cocktail dresses for ladies, suits for men, bridal party may wear tuxedos and gowns after 6:00 PM.
    Semi-formal - suits for all men.  Church clothes for ladies.  Bridesmaids usually wear short dresses.  Most daytime weddings are this style in the USA.
    Informal - khakis acceptable.  Sundresses fine for ladies.  Men in wedding party wear sports jackets with ties.  This would also describe courthouse ceremony attire.

    There is really no such category as casual.  I would imagine this would mean jeans, shorts, whatever.

    Sources:  Emily Post, Miss Manners.
    OP here, I was just wondering because I got a wedding invite that said "Formal" on it (and, yes I know it's super rude to tell people how to dress). I felt odd that it was there. But then again, I'm not a fancy person so I'm glad you could give me a guideline. 
    Aha, so you're asking as a guest, not as the host. That makes a difference. Glad you can see how improper and confusing it was for the host to do that.

    Generally, I would do a nice cocktail dress and heels. You can do a Google Image search for the name of the venue + "wedding" and see what it looks like and let that guide you. Or you can share some more of the details (venue, what the invitation looks like, time of day, etc.) and we can help you choose something to wear. :) We like to e-window shop!
    That's a super smart idea googling wedding photos from the venue!
    So does this mean I shouldn't show up in a prom dress? I am a bit tempted too :p

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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    It is always better to be slightly under-dressed than to be overdressed.
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  • yogablossomyogablossom member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2014
    Regardless of "formal" or "semiformal" etc, I think it's always a smart idea for us ladies to have a dress in our wardrobes that can be dressed up or down with the style of shoes and accessories paired with it.  That way if you're unsure of the level of formality, wear your go-to dress, and start a bit less formal with your shoes and accessories and then have another pair of shoes in the car with more formal accessories if you see people are a bit more dressed up.

    It's pretty easy to just swap out your shoes and jewelry and perhaps add a shawl or something! Good luck!
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  • saacjwsaacjw member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    misshart00 said:
    It is always better to be slightly under-dressed than to be overdressed.
    Really? I would much rather be slightly overdressed than underdressed.
    Me too. Maybe it was growing up with my mother who pretty much insisted on being dressed as well as possible, but the only time I've felt uncomfortable at events is when I was underdressed. 
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2014

    “It is always better to be slightly underdressed.”

    ― Coco Chanel



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