Just knocking up wifey (tmi obviously)

beethery · December 2014

MagicInk said:

So this morning I asked her "Are you knocked up yet?" and she goes "Yes, with triplets, because we live in bad fanfiction"....this this is why I married her.

For those curious we are using a known donor (my BFF who stood in our wedding) and a turkey baster. Though not an actual turkey baster. It's a needless syringe. In fact when we read up on how to do it we were explicitly told to not use an actual turkey baster as it would not work well. I feel like that means people have tried using a turkey baster.

BTW here's a super weird text message to send "Time to jerk off", that's what I told him when Wifey told me it was time. We had drop the sample off at our place, he's got a key so it was there before we got home. Sitting in a little mug of warm water to keep it...good...fuck this is fucking weird. I mean, it's awesome to be making a baby, I'm happy he's the donor, but thinking about all the separate parts...it's fucking weird.

And we're doing it again tonight! Oh and she was adorable about not wanting to drink because what if that messed things up. I'm like based on my parents, it might actually help.

This is so gross and so cute at the same time lololol

wrigleyville · December 2014

I love that story, Ink. Thanks for sharing.

Good luck!

IMathlete · December 2014

Sending best of luck! Such exciting news.

FiancB · December 2014

Good luck!

Thought it would be worth noting, light and most soaps are spermicidal, so don't go too crazy cleaning the syringe or whatever and keep it dark. In case you didn't know that, but you probably did.

JennyColada · December 2014

I don't find semen to be all that gross. I actually find it kind of sexy. Don't get it in my eyes (glasses ftw!), ears, or nostrils and I'm good.

That being said, I'd probably find random, unaccompanied semen to be odd and strange.

VulgarGirl · December 2014

JennyColada said:

I don't find semen to be all that gross. I actually find it kind of sexy. Don't get it in my eyes (glasses ftw!), ears, or nostrils and I'm good. That being said, I'd probably find random, unaccompanied semen to be odd and strange.

I'm just imagining someone in like a grocery store getting on the loudspeaker "Attention customers, we have some unaccompanined semen at the service desk. Wearing a red baseball hat and a blue t-shirt. If this is your semen please come to service desk".

[Deleted User] · December 2014

VulgarGirl · December 2014

pinkrevenge said:

I hope you meant your post to be funny, because I fucking laughed and laughed. The visual of a warm mug of spunk, keeping the delicates all protected and cozy - it slayed me.

God yes! I've been laughing about it all day. He texted me "I left it somewhere safe" and we saw it in the warm mug.

I also want to clarify, the spunk was not in the mug. It was in a little cup like they give you for a pee test, and then that was resting in the mug. So we can still use the mug for coffee.

I told Wifey "We're not doing this with flowers and poetry and romance bullshit. We're doing this with humor. Because I want a funny kid and this shit is fucking funny" she agreed. When I was knotting last night she did go "Hey, be present in the moment!", I laughed so hard I almost fell off the bed.

wrigleyville · December 2014

You need to have an unplugged sperminating session.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

VulgarGirl · December 2014

wrigleyville said:

You need to have an unplugged sperminating session.

I'm gonna put a poem on burlap and hang it up in our bedroom.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

beethery · December 2014

pinkrevenge said:

But for serious when she's knocked up you NEED to let me know so I can make some nursery art.

Same.

lc07 · December 2014

So exciting! I have a none-of-my-damn-business question, too. Feel free to ignore me, obviously. Are you guys doing this during sexy time or is it straight up biz-ness?

Fingers crossed that she is preggo soon so you don't have to deal with sperm any more

Also, I think your friend is so rad for being the donor.

VulgarGirl · December 2014

lc07 said:

So exciting! I have a none-of-my-damn-business question, too. Feel free to ignore me, obviously. Are you guys doing this during sexy time or is it straight up biz-ness?

Fingers crossed that she is preggo soon so you don't have to deal with sperm any more

Also, I think your friend is so rad for being the donor.

Kind of...both...I guess. It's like "ok we're doing this, legs up" but then there's the sexy stuff too because if a woman orgasms it's more likely to help her get knocked up. Per the internet.

phira · December 2014

beethery said:

GOOD LUUUUUUCK!

Yeah, semen is pretty gross. TMI TMI TMI TMI if I get any on my hands after a hand job, I run to the bathroom to wash my hands and I go, "Nooooooo my hand got pregnant!"

Because I'm an adult.
I have repeatedly told FI we should be getting more white towels any day now because of how many he must've gotten pregnant.

I WISH, we could really use more towels.

Jen4948 · December 2014

Wow! Best of luck with the Droplets!

jenna8984 · December 2014

You kind of need your own reality show, Magic, because you crack me up and your life is so fun!

mrsdee15 · December 2014

phira said:

GOOD LUUUUUUCK!

Yeah, semen is pretty gross. TMI TMI TMI TMI if I get any on my hands after a hand job, I run to the bathroom to wash my hands and I go, "Nooooooo my hand got pregnant!"

Because I'm an adult.

@MagicInk Good luck!!!

I'm the same way with getting the stuff (mostly) anywhere on my external body parts. I've got a pretty good drop-and-roll move to get off the bed following any sexy time, and then make a mad dash for the bathroom. If I don't quite get there in time, I've been known to yell "AGHHHH IT'S EVERYWHERE" or "HOW DID IT GET THERE? WHY?" I've found it on random places like my forearm. It's some sneaky stuff.

Funny timing with the semen discussion, I almost posted a semen-related story from last night (FI told me a story about someone he works with, and I met the guy last night). There's been a lot of sperm stuff going on in my life recently, I suppose, is what I'm getting at.

@pinkrevenge: "Sous-vide spunk" is the funniest damn thing I've heard this month. I wish I could use that more in regular conversation.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

photokitty · December 2014

Sprem - meh.

Good luck on the knocking up!!!

Wash that coffee mug extra good

larrygaga · December 2014

MagicInk said:

So this morning I asked her "Are you knocked up yet?" and she goes "Yes, with triplets, because we live in bad fanfiction"....this this is why I married her.

For those curious we are using a known donor (my BFF who stood in our wedding) and a turkey baster. Though not an actual turkey baster. It's a needless syringe. In fact when we read up on how to do it we were explicitly told to not use an actual turkey baster as it would not work well. I feel like that means people have tried using a turkey baster.

BTW here's a super weird text message to send "Time to jerk off", that's what I told him when Wifey told me it was time. We had drop the sample off at our place, he's got a key so it was there before we got home. Sitting in a little mug of warm water to keep it...good...fuck this is fucking weird. I mean, it's awesome to be making a baby, I'm happy he's the donor, but thinking about all the separate parts...it's fucking weird.

And we're doing it again tonight! Oh and she was adorable about not wanting to drink because what if that messed things up. I'm like based on my parents, it might actually help.

Sugargirl1019 · December 2014

I'm SO excited for you ladies! And I'm really glad everyone has this strange ritual afterwards of preventing ... the mess from getting everywhere. We use toilet paper - have it ready so when he comes out there's toilet paper there to catch. And theennn the bathroom.

This is totally TMI o.o

Good luck magicink and wifey!

ashley8918 · December 2014

pinkrevenge said:

mrsdee15 said:

phira said:

GOOD LUUUUUUCK!

Yeah, semen is pretty gross. TMI TMI TMI TMI if I get any on my hands after a hand job, I run to the bathroom to wash my hands and I go, "Nooooooo my hand got pregnant!"

Because I'm an adult.

@MagicInk Good luck!!!

I'm the same way with getting the stuff (mostly) anywhere on my external body parts. I've got a pretty good drop-and-roll move to get off the bed following any sexy time, and then make a mad dash for the bathroom. If I don't quite get there in time, I've been known to yell "AGHHHH IT'S EVERYWHERE" or "HOW DID IT GET THERE? WHY?" I've found it on random places like my forearm. It's some sneaky stuff.

Funny timing with the semen discussion, I almost posted a semen-related story from last night (FI told me a story about someone he works with, and I met the guy last night). There's been a lot of sperm stuff going on in my life recently, I suppose, is what I'm getting at.

@pinkrevenge: "Sous-vide spunk" is the funniest damn thing I've heard this month. I wish I could use that more in regular conversation.

I totally have a roll move as well. We go "ready?" and then roll, except we keep tissues on the night stand so that it's like - 1,2,3, roll - BAM. Caught it.
THEN bathroom.

Alright, people who have perfected the roll move... HOW?! HALP. I can never not get it on the bed. EVER

[Deleted User] · December 2014

ashley8918 · December 2014

pinkrevenge said:

Tissues in the hand, sheets pulled all the way down and feet totally free, two people barrel roll with your hips elevated and your butt clenched.

It probably looks stupid as fuck.

Noted. Will try.And probably laugh my ass off in the process.

AddieCake · December 2014

My husband's best friend's partner got pregnant in this same way, so I'm sending you all the vibes it works for you, too!

VulgarGirl · December 2014

Straight sex super complicated. Well I guess penis sex sounds complicated. I'm assuming two dudes also have some kind of move. I dunno...and I'm gonna need to be super drunk to ask any of my friends.

Also my phone did not want me to write penis. It kept correcting it to pens. Pen sex .. complicated.

mrsdee15 · December 2014

ashley8918 said:

pinkrevenge said:

mrsdee15 said:

phira said:

GOOD LUUUUUUCK!

Yeah, semen is pretty gross. TMI TMI TMI TMI if I get any on my hands after a hand job, I run to the bathroom to wash my hands and I go, "Nooooooo my hand got pregnant!"

Because I'm an adult.

@MagicInk Good luck!!!

I'm the same way with getting the stuff (mostly) anywhere on my external body parts. I've got a pretty good drop-and-roll move to get off the bed following any sexy time, and then make a mad dash for the bathroom. If I don't quite get there in time, I've been known to yell "AGHHHH IT'S EVERYWHERE" or "HOW DID IT GET THERE? WHY?" I've found it on random places like my forearm. It's some sneaky stuff.

Funny timing with the semen discussion, I almost posted a semen-related story from last night (FI told me a story about someone he works with, and I met the guy last night). There's been a lot of sperm stuff going on in my life recently, I suppose, is what I'm getting at.

@pinkrevenge: "Sous-vide spunk" is the funniest damn thing I've heard this month. I wish I could use that more in regular conversation.

I totally have a roll move as well. We go "ready?" and then roll, except we keep tissues on the night stand so that it's like - 1,2,3, roll - BAM. Caught it.
THEN bathroom.

Alright, people who have perfected the roll move... HOW?! HALP. I can never not get it on the bed. EVER

All the TMI is going to happen - if I'm on top, I put one leg straight down (flat with the bed) and roll outwards and across to land on the other side on my feet. If I'm on the bottom it's more of a him getting out of the way while I roll out and off. Watch out for the sheets around the feet, I ended up in some confusing positions.

I keep waiting for him to score my dismount, but that hasn't happened yet.

sophhabobopha · December 2014

So happy!

And yeah, biy juice is nasty.

Just knocking up wifey (tmi obviously)

Re: Just knocking up wifey (tmi obviously)

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