XP from my club board: First dance song conundrum

baystateapple · September 2010

I already posted this on the Nov. '10 board, but the advice there is pretty much split down the middle, so I'm hoping for some more input.

My FI and I have had our "first dance" song picked out forever, it's been our song since we started dating. We tried dancing to it last night, and it's...weird, to say the least. There's a sort of fast-paced bridge in the middle where it would be awkward to just do regular swaying. We tried to waltz and put in some choreography, but (how can I put this?) we suck. We also don't have the money in our budget right now for dance lessons. FI says he will feel silly just swaying during a fast-paced song...but he's also nervous about us trying to do an elaborate dance and making idiots of ourselves.

I suggested that we pick another song, one that may have a little less significant meaning but has a slower, regular pace that we can just naturally slow-dance to without throwing in crazy moves. We do have another song that would work. FI thinks it's weird to go with another song for our wedding instead of "our song"; I think it's better than falling all over each other on our wedding day.

WDYT?

waltzingmatilda13 · September 2010

Pick something else. H and I tried this too, but it didn't work and we felt stupid, so we picked another song. You can always play "your" song later in the evening and have everyone dancing with you, so then people won't be staring at you if you trip over each other.

georgia_bride09 · September 2010

I say go with another song for your first dance, and have your DJ play "your song" some other time and y'all can dance with a group and it'll be less awkward.

louisvillebride21 · September 2010

We had this problem too. Our song is Don't Stop Belivin. That was not working. So we did 'My Best Friend' by Colbiet Callet and Jason Mraz.

MattsPenguin · September 2010

First of all, you have to tell us the song!

Hmmm . . . if it's your song, then I say use it. I was trying to think of something where you could break out into just some regular dancing (as in bouncing up and down or whatever you kids do to those fast paced songs), and bring people out onto the dance floor during it. Of course, you probably have father-daughter/mother-son dances that you still have to do, so it wouldn't really work to open up the floor at that time.

FutureMrsTR · September 2010

Ditto the picking another song and doing your song later. We asked H's parents what song they danced to at their wedding so we could make sure we played it at ours and they didn't even remember. It seems like a huge deal now, but 30 years down the road it won't be.

LDYGTR13 · September 2010

Ditto PP's - gotta know the song, but I still say that you should pick something else for the "first dance" and play "your song" later on. When all eyes are on you you definitely dont want to be totally awkward.

baystateapple · September 2010

Our song is "So Close" by Jon McLaughlin. Have you seen "Enchanted"? It's the song from the ball scene.

It starts off pretty slow, and easy, but then it goes into this full orchestra section. In the film, there's a lot of waltzing and twirling, which would look great if we were, you know, coordinated.

mandapanda78 · September 2010

Can you maybe pick another song and then use "your song" for another part of the wedding? Like the cake cutting or something?

waltzingmatilda13 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-club-board-first-dance-song-conundrum?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:18a85417-0ce1-4a28-912d-5e2e696f45b7Post:76fbfaf1-3c98-424b-9f5a-348583922939">Re: XP from my club board: First dance song conundrum</a>:
[QUOTE]Our song is "So Close" by Jon McLaughlin. Have you seen "Enchanted"? It's the song from the ball scene. It starts off pretty slow, and easy, but then it goes into this full orchestra section. In the film, there's a lot of waltzing and twirling, which would look great if we were, you know, coordinated.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

Holy crap, that was our song, too! It totally didn't work, then H injured himself and couldn't lift his arm for a proper waltz hold. We tried for a couple weeks and failed miserably. We went with Keith Urban's "Only You Could Love Me This Way" and ended up never playing the other song.

nhelene · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-club-board-first-dance-song-conundrum?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:18a85417-0ce1-4a28-912d-5e2e696f45b7Post:1fd20fcf-1e1e-49fe-88f1-55acc71762d1">Re: XP from my club board: First dance song conundrum</a>:
[QUOTE]What song is it? That will help give better advice.
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

I agree...

Depending on how long the bridge is you could just do a couple twirls or something.

Another thing is... waltz can be tricky. Something like rumba or swing might be easier to pick up.

ETA: even with the song you chose you could still do one of the above. Latin and Swing are called 'spot dances' because you stay in one spot the whole time, and are therefore harder to screw up than 'traveling dances'. You wouldn't be on beat with a rumba, but do you really care?

baystateapple · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-club-board-first-dance-song-conundrum?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:18a85417-0ce1-4a28-912d-5e2e696f45b7Post:6b889f12-b7c3-479c-859d-c3d261162dd0">Re: XP from my club board: First dance song conundrum</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: XP from my club board: First dance song conundrum : Holy crap, that was our song, too! It totally didn't work, then H injured himself and couldn't lift his arm for a proper waltz hold. We tried for a couple weeks and failed miserably. We went with Keith Urban's "Only You Could Love Me This Way" and ended up never playing the other song.
Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

Oh man, that sucks. I'm glad you guys found something else that worked!

MattsPenguin · September 2010

I LOVE THAT SONG!!!

I understand which part you are talking about. It definitely calls for waltzing in the middle. Play it later so then the entire wedding can be a bit awkward, not just you two.

sep72fendr · September 2010

Why don't you google/youtube waltz/dance steps. There are tons of teachyouhowtoblank videos on youtube. That's how I picked up some of my Salsa stuff. Check it out, see whatcha find. If you can't find anything to work, then pick another song. I would have completely exhausted all options before giving up on something that has meaning to me for "our song"

mgietler76 · September 2010

FI and I also don’t have the money for dance lessons either so you can try what we are doing. We are youtubing dance lessons like PP said but we are doing it from the PS3 from our tv so we can practice right along with the instructors. All we had to do was move the furniture back for some dancing room! Hope that helps.

p.s. I don't know why the text looks this way

waltzingmatilda13 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-club-board-first-dance-song-conundrum?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:18a85417-0ce1-4a28-912d-5e2e696f45b7Post:a5afaadd-46c6-4f59-95d4-31456d24ab4c">Re: XP from my club board: First dance song conundrum</a>:
[QUOTE]Swoon away! Remember him back in the day in "Can't Buy Me Love"?
Posted by MattsPenguin[/QUOTE]

I haven't seen that, but I might have to. He's just so adorable.

baystateapple · September 2010

My other idea (don't know if this is a good one) was to cut the song before the instrumental break. But that's only 2:20. Is that too short? Would it sound ridiculous?

nhelene · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-club-board-first-dance-song-conundrum?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:18a85417-0ce1-4a28-912d-5e2e696f45b7Post:831cb458-c07b-4f7e-bd46-21216f7c0dea">Re: XP from my club board: First dance song conundrum</a>:
[QUOTE]My other idea (don't know if this is a good one) was to cut the song before the instrumental break. But that's only 2:20. Is that too short? Would it sound ridiculous?
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

We had our DJ fade out the mother/son and father/daughter dances after 2 minutes. We let our song go all the way because we did an actual dance. 2 minutes is a long time to just sway, so that may actually be the way you want to go.

Maybe you can practice a twirl and a dip to do once the bridge starts.

MattsPenguin · September 2010

I don't think a wedding song can be "too short". Have you tried dancing for 2:20 while people are watching?

That's a definite possibility.

ETA: cutting it is a definite possibility, is what I meant.

ETA 2: I'm listening to it on repeat (if you can't tell), and I think that cutting it before the bridge sounds a bit awkward and doesn't resolve. Plus it's at like 1:50 for me.

waltzingmatilda13 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-club-board-first-dance-song-conundrum?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:18a85417-0ce1-4a28-912d-5e2e696f45b7Post:831cb458-c07b-4f7e-bd46-21216f7c0dea">Re: XP from my club board: First dance song conundrum</a>:
[QUOTE]My other idea (don't know if this is a good one) was to cut the song before the instrumental break. But that's only 2:20. Is that too short? Would it sound ridiculous?
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

No, I just listened to it on my iPod (yes, I had to download it!) and I don't think that works. There's no natural break in the music, it's actually building up to the middle. How fast are you waltzing? Because you should be able to keep the same tempo through the middle if you are doing it fast enough. It's not as slow as you might think, and that's where watching them do it in the movie helped me out. You can waltz and spin and waltz and spin a couple time and that should get you throught it.

baystateapple · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-club-board-first-dance-song-conundrum?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:18a85417-0ce1-4a28-912d-5e2e696f45b7Post:7fa0f8c3-66c6-4985-9bd3-a6ab5d5b7608">Re: XP from my club board: First dance song conundrum</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: XP from my club board: First dance song conundrum : No, I just listened to it on my iPod (yes, I had to download it!) and I don't think that works. There's no natural break in the music, it's actually building up to the middle. How fast are you waltzing? Because you should be able to keep the same tempo through the middle if you are doing it fast enough. It's not as slow as you might think, and that's where watching them do it in the movie helped me out. You can waltz and spin and waltz and spin a couple time and that should get you throught it.
Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

See that's the thing...we can't waltz. That's what we want to do, but we're just no good at it. At all. It's like...crash and burn bad. FI is too stiff, and I think he'd be even more nervous the day of. And me...well, I'm really graceful on figure skates, not so much on my own two feet.

But you're right, it does sound kind of awkward with that build. *sigh*

emilyinchile · September 2010

I don't know the song, so I don't know if it would work to cut it, but in general I'd say you don't want anything longer than 3 minutes.

Our first dance song ("Our Love is Here to Stay" by Frank Sinatra) is like 2:30, and even so by the end we were kind of feeling like ok, we've had out little moment, we've done all the swaying/twirling we know how to do, now we feel like we're just boring everyone.

nhelene · September 2010

How good is your DJ? Or do you know anyone else who's good with sound mixing and might be able to cut a few bars out of the middle of the bridge?

baystateapple · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-club-board-first-dance-song-conundrum?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:18a85417-0ce1-4a28-912d-5e2e696f45b7Post:3b451191-66e8-4520-8ad8-68f4f32e3921">Re: XP from my club board: First dance song conundrum</a>:
[QUOTE]How good is your DJ? Or do you know anyone else who's good with sound mixing and might be able to cut a few bars out of the middle of the bridge?
Posted by nhelene[/QUOTE]

Unfortunately it's not just the middle bridge, it's the bridge, then it gets slow for a few beats, and then the music goes back to the full orchestra again.

FI just texted me and the second song that we were talking about is growing on him, so I think that might be what we're going with. I LOVE our second song (might love it more than "So Close", tbh), but I want him to be happy with it too.

KentuckyKate · September 2010

I vote you should have the DJ fade the song out before the bridge. I did that with my father/daughter song at 2:30, because it was a 6 minute song. It wasn't awkwardly short or anything.

texagj · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-club-board-first-dance-song-conundrum?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:18a85417-0ce1-4a28-912d-5e2e696f45b7Post:c6050319-a344-427e-aada-b8e1e3425889">Re: XP from my club board: First dance song conundrum</a>:
[QUOTE]"Only You" by Sinead O'Connor. It's the love theme from the film "The Young Victoria", which is one of our favorite movies. We tried just regular slow-dancing to it last night and it was a lot easier. It's a long song, so we'll have to cut it, but there's a natural cut after the second refrain (after that, there's only an instrumental bridge and then a third refrain, it's very easy to just fade it out). Link. (The cut would be at 3:30)
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

I like this idea :)

Pirata13 · September 2010

Either cut it down or choose a new song.

H & I didn't have a specific "our song" either, so we chose one that we liked, we liked the lyrics, and it was different. Not among the "suggested" or "common" ones. (We used Syrup & Honey by Duffy)

sarah0725 · September 2010

You seem to have this pretty well figured out by now, but I think in general, picking the second song is a good idea, because you want to know you'll be able to dance to it. Our "song" is Hey There Delilah, but for the wedding we'll be dancing to The Way You Look Tonight as sung by Frank Sinatra. Hey There Delilah isn't really a dance song - it's more for looking out the window and sighing while you're on a plane.

ElleestJenn · September 2010

As other's have already said you can see if your dj can cut it or even fade it out. I also think 2 minutes is a perfect time because you don't want your guests to get bored or even restless.

LDYGTR13 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-club-board-first-dance-song-conundrum?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:18a85417-0ce1-4a28-912d-5e2e696f45b7Post:e887c450-fc27-42f7-9129-49a21d615ea8">Re: XP from my club board: First dance song conundrum</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't you google/youtube waltz/dance steps. There are tons of teachyouhowtoblank videos on youtube. That's how I picked up some of my Salsa stuff. Check it out, see whatcha find. If you can't find anything to work, then pick another song. I would have completely exhausted all options before giving up on something that has meaning to me for "our song"
Posted by sep72fendr[/QUOTE]

Sep - I read this and just got a flashback of when I first moved to MS and was the only person in the world apparently who didn't know how to do that stupid Soulja Boy dance and I was supposed to do it in a dance with my sorority - I didn't want to admit I didn't know it so I stayed in my room and learned it via YouTube...not my finest hour - but it worked!

TTiger03 · September 2010

You said you would like to waltz but are having trouble with it. Yes, dance lessons can be very expensive. The you tube videos can be helpful, but sometimes are hard to follow too.

My FI and I talked for a long time about dance lessons and priced out the private lessons. We were going to drop it and just sway, but I found out some of the local dance halls (mostly the country halls) have cheap group lessons. We go Thursdays and some Saturdays for $3. It's certainly affordable. We have learned to Waltz, Two-Step, East Coast Swing and are currently working on the Cha-cha. They mostly play country songs, but we've figured out that most of the dances can be applied to any songs where you would do a ball room dance.

For us, it wasn't learning the steps but learning to move together. Learning how to lead (him) and follow (me). - It's actually been very good for our relationship as well.

I don't know if there is anything like this in your area, but it's certainly worth looking in to. -- $3 a week isn't bad at all, and the lessons are enjoyable.

ETA: Some of the dance studios where they have private lessons have group lessons also. They might cost a little more, but are more affordable than private lessons. - Our instructor actually has a dance studio and teaches privately, but has the group sessions at the dance hall also. She usually starts an hour and a half before the dance hall is open for general dance.

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