Back story: My FMIL is a drama queen and very unreliable. Everything has to be about her and every family function is a "poor me" when it comes to her health issues. She has had 2 hip replacements in the past, but when it's nice outside she's always fine to go out on a boat, shopping, etc. Also, you can read my previous FMIL post about how petty and ridiculous she can be.
About a month ago, she told me in private that she thinks (not sure why the doctors haven't figured out exactly what is wrong with her yet) she has kidney failure and "is dying, but will try everything to make it to my (Nov 15) wedding." I know there is something wrong with her but she is definitely exaggerating a lot. A few weeks later she told the rest of her family (most of them have quit talking to her for some time) what was going on, a few days before my bridal shower.
The day of my bridal shower my FI went to pick her up 4 hours (he knew she'd be super late) before the shower started and she only lives about 45 min from where the shower was, yet she managed to be an hour late to my 3 hour shower. When she finally did arrive she made a huge deal that she was there. Close friends of my Dad's who have never met or heard anything about this lady made comments to my dad about this. I was furious and hurt she would do this. I also feel horrible for my FI because it obviously hurts him the most.
My issue is that I am now terrified she will pull a stunt like this for the wedding. My BMs, my mom, and FMIL are getting ready at my parent's house the day of the wedding. FMIL has willingly agreed to this. However, I think she will be late getting there in time for hair/makeup. Worse, what if she is late for the actual wedding? Should I have FI say anything to her or should I just ride it out with the notion that if she is late, too bad, show goes on? I absolutely will not be late to my wedding for her (or anyone) but I don't want to ruin my FI's day because his mom was not there on time. If she would miss the pre-wedding activities she would also blame my mom somehow. She hates my mom but only has met her a few times and my mom always goes out of her way to be nice and include her in wedding details. She always makes shitty comments to ME about MY mom. It makes me totally uncomfortable. By the way, my parents and myself/FI are paying 100% for the reception. FMIL generously gave me X towards the honeymoon.
I'm just at my end with all this drama.