Rude rude rude!

novella1186 · December 2014

I've been contacting every salon within a 25-mile radius of my venue and I'm pretty shocked at some of the responses I've been getting. I've been asking if they'll come to our hotel to do hair, or if we have to go to them, and what the prices are for doing bridesmaids' hair and some basic stuff like that.

Mind you, I send tons of emails every day at work so I know how to compose friendly, professional-sounding text, and I'm always careful to word my e-mails to potential vendors in a friendly way because of course I want them to want to work with me.

A few salons haven't even responded (more than a week later, and two weeks in some cases). I cut them some slack because it's the holidays so no big deal, but I have friends and family who are in jobs where they deal with clients and they all say that taking more than a few hours to respond to a client (or potential client) inquiry is kind of ridiculous.

One salon sent me an email that only said this: "We don't travel. You have to come to us. Minimum 5 bridesmaids."

Another one only had a facebook page and not a phone number or anything (because I don't think they have a business space; they only travel) so we ended up messaging back and forth a little bit yesterday. When I asked about the bridesmaids' hair she said "So you hired someone else to do your hair? Is this correct?" Which seemed a bit rude to me but ok. I replied with "I might do my own hair, but I haven't decided yet. I just want to wear it down, but I may need some help with it." Rather than saying something like "We'd be happy to do your hair as well," or "We can schedule a trial if you'd like" or anything positive, she simply quit messaging me and never answered my questions. I had mentioned to her that the bridesmaids may want make-up too, which I would also pay for, so if they did hair and make-up for just my bridesmaids they would be making upwards of $800, not including tip. WTF? It's like none of them want my money.

I haven't had this much trouble with any of the other vendors I've hired, and I've booked our venue, officiant, band, DJ, caterer, baker, florist, photographer, rentals, rehearsal dinner venue, hotel blocks, transportation, pretty much every single thing except hair. Everyone else I dealt with was so nice and so helpful (except for a few caterers, so I didn't even bother to schedule a tasting with them). The standard e-mail I get when I contact someone is "Congratulations on your engagement! We'd love to work with you. Blah blah blah answers to your questions, niceness, professionalism. Please let us know if you have any further questions! Thanks, full name." These responses from salons are so off-putting. I'm not going to give someone my money if they're rude to me.

Does anyone have a crazy vendor story, or has anyone else encountered rude vendors like this? Let's commiserate so I don't feel so alone in this rude nonsense lol

blabla89 · December 2014

That is crazy rude. I emailed tons of salons and didn't hear back from some of them. I think the issue is that they have a general inbox and no one assigned to check it regularly, but it's frustrating nonetheless.

For two months I never heard back from one of the venues I emailed. When the manager finally responded to me (with a crazy expensive price that seemed totally out of line for what they offered) I told her thanks so much for getting back to me, but it's been two months and we've booked another venue. She sent me back an angry response about how she never got my first email because her server was broken and it wasn't really her fault or whatever.

ETA: And then she offered to give me $200 off the quote (which was like $1000 over what similar venues cost) if we would book with them.

morewineplease · December 2014

So NWR but I had an appointment to have my hair done with a stylist that I had seen before. The previous times she was at a salon that renting a booth, this time she had moved out to her own place, and things had changed.

I had an appointment after work, so 5 or 6 pm. I get to the salon and there is only one stylist there doing her boyfriends hair. She tells me the stylist has not been in all day, or any day this week. I waited for a while, the other stylist tried calling her but she would not pick up the phone. Finally the other stylist says she could do my hair if I wanted but with my curly hair I am picky and just left.

The Stylist that owned the shop never called or emailed to apologies for not showing up.

ShellD13 · December 2014

@Novella1186 - I don't have a crazy vendor story. But I was chiming in to suggest www.Thumbtack.com. If you haven't used it before, it is a website that allows you to put in the specifics of what services you are looking for (including price) and then it farms it out to all of their members. The members then submit bids/proposals back to you within a defined time period. It is how H and I found our photographer but the members consist of Hair/Makeup professionals, Photographers, etc...

AddieCake · December 2014

Honestly, only the last part of your story sounds rude to me. Just because a response is brief doesn't make it rude.

littlemushroom · December 2014

I had the same kind of thing happen with a potential venue. I called to see if they had my date open and to ask some basic questions that were not answered by their website. The coordinator was really brusque and told me our date was available and that she would email me all the information I requested by the end of the day. I waited two days with no email, so I called again. She said she sent it but would send it again when she got to work. This was in the middle of the afternoon and was the first indication I had that the phone number on the website was not the venue's number.

Two more days later I finally got the email and she only answered one of my questions and said the rest was on the website, go look. Well, I had already scoured their website and read everything and that info was not there. So I emailed back asking for a link to the info on the site because I didn't see it. She sent me a link to their FAQS, which did not answer any of the questions I had asked. So I emailed her again saying the info wasn't there and could she please let me know about xyz. (Their site said they could do ceremonies there as well but gave no info on how that would work, do I need to rent extra chairs, would it be in a separate space, would they need to reset the room for the reception, etc)

She emailed me again saying to just call her at X time on Y day and she would give me the info then. When I called her at the requested time she said she wasn't at work and would have to get back to me. Then she forgot to hang up the phone and I heard her talking to someone about how annoying I was with all my questions and how dare I call her when she wasn't at work (again in the middle of the afternoon AND at the time SHE had told me to call). After listening to her bitch about work and dealing with annoying people I decided I definitely did NOT want to work with her and hung up.

She emailed me a week later to see when I was going to call her and I told her I didn't want to work with her because she was rude and unprofessional, and to make sure she hangs up the phone before bad mouthing potential clients to someone.

500days · December 2014

I have had trouble booking a baker. I have called/emailed 5 and only 1 has gotten back to me. I have been looking since Halloween! I told another bride this and she said "you should just go right to the bakery". I just expected someone to call me back or write me back...apparently I'm going about it in the wrong way...

KatieinBkln · December 2014

For what it's worth, with salons, I've always found it's better to call if you can--I don't think most of them typically run that much of their business via email (same with bakers and even florists--if they have a shop that you can go into, that is definitely best.)

As a writer, former assistant/secretary, and copy editor, I tend to expect a modicum of effort and courtesy when it comes to email responses, too. Non-sentences like "Minimum 5 bridesmaids" make me irrationally angry. JUST MAKE A SENTENCE WITH A SUBJECT AND VERB K THANKS.

On the other hand, I guess it's possible that English isn't always a person's first language, in which case my indignation makes me a dick. Such is the nature of being a knee-jerk judger, I suppose...

novella1186 · December 2014

blabla89 said:

That is crazy rude. I emailed tons of salons and didn't hear back from some of them. I think the issue is that they have a general inbox and no one assigned to check it regularly, but it's frustrating nonetheless.

For two months I never heard back from one of the venues I emailed. When the manager finally responded to me (with a crazy expensive price that seemed totally out of line for what they offered) I told her thanks so much for getting back to me, but it's been two months and we've booked another venue. She sent me back an angry response about how she never got my first email because her server was broken and it wasn't really her fault or whatever.

ETA: And then she offered to give me $200 off the quote (which was like $1000 over what similar venues cost) if we would book with them.

Lol I love that she was mad at YOU because her server broke and she failed to respond to you for two months. That's not your fault in any way. This is just ridiculous to me.

novella1186 · December 2014

morewineplease said:

So NWR but I had an appointment to have my hair done with a stylist that I had seen before. The previous times she was at a salon that renting a booth, this time she had moved out to her own place, and things had changed.

I had an appointment after work, so 5 or 6 pm. I get to the salon and there is only one stylist there doing her boyfriends hair. She tells me the stylist has not been in all day, or any day this week. I waited for a while, the other stylist tried calling her but she would not pick up the phone. Finally the other stylist says she could do my hair if I wanted but with my curly hair I am picky and just left.

The Stylist that owned the shop never called or emailed to apologies for not showing up.

That actually happened to me once too. I showed up for my appointment and they said my stylist had never come in and wouldn't answer her phone. Turns out she was too hungover to work, and apparently had a habit of not showing up and just ditching her clients. The salon was too busy to squeeze me in, so I couldn't get my hair cut. Needless to say, I never went back there. There has to be at least just a minimum level of professionalism in any business, and ditching clients is below that minimum!

novella1186 · December 2014

littlemushroom I'm glad you said that to her! That's just horrible business practice. Like... wow.

mrsk616 · December 2014

blabla89 said:

That is crazy rude. I emailed tons of salons and didn't hear back from some of them. I think the issue is that they have a general inbox and no one assigned to check it regularly, but it's frustrating nonetheless.

For two months I never heard back from one of the venues I emailed. When the manager finally responded to me (with a crazy expensive price that seemed totally out of line for what they offered) I told her thanks so much for getting back to me, but it's been two months and we've booked another venue. She sent me back an angry response about how she never got my first email because her server was broken and it wasn't really her fault or whatever.

ETA: And then she offered to give me $200 off the quote (which was like $1000 over what similar venues cost) if we would book with them.

to the bold, it never heard back from anyone for a place. called and got a rude response from who ever answered the phone then i wrote a nasty gram to the customer service email on there website. (really nice winery by me or so i thought) it took her 3 weeks to get back to me. telling me how busy she was with weddings that month and that she wont take any other inquires about weddings the week before a wedding, etc. sorry but you lost my business along with everyone i tell about this experince

MairePoppy · December 2014

The hair salon that I go to is very, very busy from a week before Christmas until New Years. My last appointment was Dec. 23 and every single stylist was booked solid for that day and trying to squeeze in regulars. They don't return calls while they have an actual client in their chairs.

I don't agree with your friends. I think it's unreasonable to expect that potential vendors get back to you within a few hours. When is your wedding? You should try again after New Years Day. Calling or visiting the salons might yield better responses.

novella1186 · December 2014

KatieinBkln said:

For what it's worth, with salons, I've always found it's better to call if you can--I don't think most of them typically run that much of their business via email (same with bakers and even florists--if they have a shop that you can go into, that is definitely best.)

As a writer, former assistant/secretary, and copy editor, I tend to expect a modicum of effort and courtesy when it comes to email responses, too. Non-sentences like "Minimum 5 bridesmaids" make me irrationally angry. JUST MAKE A SENTENCE WITH A SUBJECT AND VERB K THANKS.

On the other hand, I guess it's possible that English isn't always a person's first language, in which case my indignation makes me a dick. Such is the nature of being a knee-jerk judger, I suppose...

Right?! I probably should have gone with phone calls but I'm in my office during normal business hours and there's no private place to go talk, so it's really hard to make calls. EVERYONE on my floor can hear me because it's super quiet all the time, and it's really awkward. Plus I'm sure my boss wouldn't like hearing me calling 25 salons to talk about wedding hair and being on my phone all morning. So I've just gotten into the habit of e-mails.

But yeah, make a complete sentence! And say SOMETHING as a closer, even if it's just your name, because I couldn't figure out who the person was or what salon they represented since it wasn't in their e-mail address, or anywhere within that super brief e-mail. And she didn't answer my other questions. So... ?

kaitlynmichelle · December 2014

Our venue was pretty good about getting back to me via email with answers to questions, but I did have to ask a few questions about parking and room specifics a few times to get a straight answer. She'd answer every other question I had and just ignore one or two.

The salon I booked actually preferred email. I called first and they confirmed the date was available, but asked me to email them and they'd send me specifics. They were great!

@littlemushroom‌ Her face was probably hilarious when she read that.

novella1186 · December 2014

MairePoppy said:

The hair salon that I go to is very, very busy from a week before Christmas until New Years. My last appointment was Dec. 23 and every single stylist was booked solid for that day and trying to squeeze in regulars. They don't return calls while they have an actual client in their chairs.
I don't agree with your friends. I think it's unreasonable to expect that potential vendors get back to you within a few hours. When is your wedding? You should try again after New Years Day. Calling or visiting the salons might yield better responses.

Yeah, I assumed they'd be busy most days (and maybe off work a few extra days for Christmas and whatnot) so I wasn't too worried about that part.

My family and friends who deal with clients are not hair stylists. They manage catering companies, are in the financial industry, real estate, etc. So they're all in a WAY different line of work than a hair stylist, which was why when they said they get back to clients within a few hours I kind of took it with a grain of salt. I don't expect vendors to get back to me in the same day. But within a couple weeks seems reasonable to me.

Unfortunately I can't visit every salon because they're all out of town, and some are more than an hour away (which is where my venue is) but I agree that calling might be the better way to go. I'm just not used to this, based on my experiences with everyone else I've hired.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

I had one potential venue never return 2 voice mails and 2 emails. Never.

I was a little frustrated with my photographer for a bit too when trying to schedule our E-shoot. My fiance works in a retail pharmacy setting so we had to know days off for November and December way in advance.

I told her this and it still took her about 2 full weeks to provide her availability- we were going to take days off when she had the time, so it wasn't even about matching up her availability with ours.... worked out though finally.

SBmini · December 2014

I didn't even deal with salon staff. I hired an independent hair and make up person. She came with one other girl and they did all of our hair and make up in the hotel room. I went to her home for a trial and just fell in love with her and what she did. It was so easy and well worth the extra money for the piece of mind.

novella1186 · December 2014

SBmini said:

I didn't even deal with salon staff. I hired an independent hair and make up person. She came with one other girl and they did all of our hair and make up in the hotel room. I went to her home for a trial and just fell in love with her and what she did. It was so easy and well worth the extra money for the piece of mind.

How did you find her to hire her?

One of my BMs has a good friend who used to work in a salon but now she does something else. I sent her a message yesterday asking if she'd be willing to come help out with hair and make-up and I'd pay her. None of the girls want anything complicated. A few of them just never do their hair and never wear make-up so they were worried about it and just wanted help with something simple. I'm thinking what you did might be a better route for me and for what the BMs want.

flyingfoxes · December 2014

The only vendor gripe I have is the one that everybody has: the ones who don't quote even a ballpark range on their websites so you don't waste your time or theirs.

Luckily I have relationships with my hairdresser (20 years) and an aesthetician, and both are willing to travel the hour+ to come do my hair and makeup - I'm having them do my bridesmaids' as well to make it worthwhile for them to make the trip.

ShellD13 · December 2014

For the makeup, I'd also suggest looking into your area Mary Kay or Avon reps. A lot of them have the entire color palates and are trained in makeup application. I actually used a friend from church who was a Mary Kay rep but she is also in the process of attending a cosmetology program.

She had sample/trial sizes of every color/style eyeshadow, foundation, blush, mascara. She was very talented at the application and was even able to talk my teen SD's off the ledge with doing their own makeup and winged eyeliner. Phew!

jenna8984 · December 2014

This wasn't wedding, but I've had so much trouble finding people to work on the house. Electricians, plumbers, painters, etc. I needed a new heating furnace and 5 companies never qouted me....I'm like this isn't a $50 job- a furnace runs $5,000 why the hell do you people not want to make money?! Or if you're busy and don't have time just respond so.

novella1186 · December 2014

jenna8984 said:

This wasn't wedding, but I've had so much trouble finding people to work on the house. Electricians, plumbers, painters, etc. I needed a new heating furnace and 5 companies never qouted me....I'm like this isn't a $50 job- a furnace runs $5,000 why the hell do you people not want to make money?! Or if you're busy and don't have time just respond so.

That's what baffles me the most. When people I'm trying to hire are super rude or just won't respond at all, I just want to yell I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU MONEY!!!

larrygaga · December 2014

You'll notice that successful businesses usually have good customer service.

I had a lady demand to know what was so much better about the venue I choose rather than hers. So I wrote her a nice long list, starting with this rude demand. She never responded. I also cc'd the owner dude. Seems harsh but she was really nasty to FI asking if he was my dad (he's 24 and looks it) and other weird comments about my sister marrying us. They also had the ugly carpet and red walls and I would have to share the reception room with another bride

[Deleted User] · December 2014

abbyj700 · December 2014

I can go both ways on this.

We had several potential vendors who were super unresponsive. I simply crossed them off the list. Most of them called back weeks or months later and I politely explained that I had picked their competition after not hearing back from them over several calls and requests.

But I also understand people have lives. My dad's cousin is a wedding planner. He's worked for his venue for 20 years and they adore him. Our aunt, whom was our families matriarch and his mothers best friend in the world passed away about a month ago. He was given three days off to be with the family. He had two initial appointments with new brides. His assistant called to let them both know (days before their appointments) that a family emergency had happened and they would reschedule for the following week. One of which proceeded to text him, call him and complain to the venue that he was being unresponsive. A text came through while he and I were smoking, he handed me his phone and laughed "Hey Ab, can you text this bridezilla and apologize to her, tell her the woman who was like my second mother died but I'll be right over."

Long term unresponsive is rude. Not being understanding that people have lives outside of your wedding is rude as well.

vulpiepop · December 2014

Wow, really rude! I actually had similar experiences when I was looking for a reception venue and when I was looking for a florist.

With the florists, most of them quit messaging me as soon as I said "tulips" (FI's favorite flower and he's really adamant that we use tulips). I don't know why...I guess maybe because it's a cheaper flower?

One of them in particular I was messaging back and forth but stopped replying or answering questions when I said we didn't want to order any centerpieces. With the bouquets and bouts alone, it would've been $500 - $600, we couldn't afford the $100+ centerpieces that she had. Whatever. We found a florist that has been professional and more affordable that is willing to work with us.

The venue search was more ridiculous. We're on a pretty tight budget and I had no idea what most of the price ranges were for the places that I called because, well, they didn't have prices on their website or brochures.

Well there were several places that asked what our budget was like for the reception and each of those places either said "sorry, but you can't afford our venue" or hung up. One in particular really pissed me off. The guy who answered the phone and asked for our budget actually laughed at me and told me to find a barn somewhere! Really really rude!

huskypuppy14 · December 2014

I had a few venues that didn't respond in a timely manner. When they finally responded (3-4 weeks later) I told them we already had our venue.

No one was rude to us, though. Most vendors were really nice actually.

I didn't deal with a salon for my hair and makeup. My hairstylist was my normal hairdresser who came out to my venue, and the MUA was someone I found online, who had great reviews.

Where are you getting married Novella? Maybe you can go to the local board and search around or ask for recommendations.

novella1186 · December 2014

abbyj700. The florist I liked responded a few days after I e-mailed her, but didn't answer my questions. She wanted me to fill out a form instead, to get the ball rolling, so I did. Two weeks later I checked in with her because I hadn't heard back from her, and she explained that she was swamped with work and apologized for the delay but she'd get back to me as fast as she could. In the end, it took about 2 months to get a final quote from her, and I hired her. I didn't care that it took her a while to get me the quote because she was friendly and I understood she was busy. Plus I knew she did good work and it was in my budget, so done deal.

But hearing nothing after two weeks, or waiting two weeks and then getting a rude response, or half a sentence that doesn't even answer the questions I asked, is not cool. And no, I have no understanding for that level of rudeness.

I had someone send me a request today, 7 minutes before I was off for vacation, and I wasn't even the correct person to ask. Wrong department. I responded immediately, was very friendly, pointed him in the right direction, looked up the name and email and phone number of the correct person for him to contact so he wasn't on a wild goose chase, e-mailed that person to give her a heads up to be sure he got a response, and wished him a happy new year.
ETA: I don't work in customer service and I don't work with clients, I'm in clinical research, and even I'm capable of a friendly response
Oh and also ETA (just for context) in the two years I've worked at this company, every single time I e-mail the wrong person I just get "That's not my job." And no help at all. Which is why I'm so determined to NOT do that to people.

thisismynickname2 · December 2014

My photographer unfortunately sucks with customer service. Long story.

Anywho, OP, about the hair and make-up:

Do you have your own go-to stylist? Can you take "wedding" out of the equation and just ask a salon if you can book 6 morning appointments for up-dos?

For me, as it turned out, my usual stylist (6+ years of loyalty) is at a salon just a stone's throw from my venue. I just asked if I could get 5 appointments for up-dos and be out by 2pm and that was it. Easy-peasy. Other posters have good suggestions if you really want stylists to come to you.

novella1186 · December 2014

thisismynickname said:

My photographer unfortunately sucks with customer service. Long story.

Anywho, OP, about the hair and make-up:
Do you have your own go-to stylist? Can you take "wedding" out of the equation and just ask a salon if you can book 6 morning appointments for up-dos?

For me, as it turned out, my usual stylist (6+ years of loyalty) is at a salon just a stone's throw from my venue. I just asked if I could get 5 appointments for up-dos and be out by 2pm and that was it. Easy-peasy. Other posters have good suggestions if you really want stylists to come to you.

I'm sad to say my regular stylist is here, where I live, which is roughly an hour and a half from the venue, and she doesn't travel. Saturdays are really busy days for her in the salon so there's no way, which sucks cuz I really like her.

To the bolded, that's a really good idea. I feel like as soon as the word "wedding" is thrown out there, things immediately get more expensive and more complicated. One of my BMs that needs help with her hair said she'd be happy with just a French braid, so no big deal, but any wedding-related hairstyle is $75 and up at one salon I looked at. So $75 for a braid lol

Rude rude rude!

Re: Rude rude rude!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards