Wedding Etiquette Forum

XP - Dress Shopping - Any Etiquette rules?

Is there a rule of thumb as to who you are supposed to go dress shopping with? I have always planned on shopping with my mom and potentially my sisters, depending on their schedule and if they wanted to go (won't force them to if they don't want to). I had mentioned to my mom potentially inviting FMIL to see if she wanted to attend as I thought it would be nice to extend the invitation and my mom was a bit upset. It seems like she thinks this is only a mother/daughter thing. Is there some rule I am missing or is she just being a bit sensitive? 

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Re: XP - Dress Shopping - Any Etiquette rules?

  • I don't know the rules but I invited my FMIL to go dress shopping with me.
  • As far as I know, there's no "rules" for who to take. I get the whole mother-daughter tradition, but I think it's nice of you to ask your FMIL.

    You might end up going dress shopping several times, so taking FMIL once is not a big deal, IMO. For my first appointment I took my mom, grandma, sister, and one of my BMs who lived nearby.

    Then I went once with just my sister. I went twice more with just my mom, and I ended up choosing the dress and buying it when it was just my mom.

    I don't think there's any reason for your mom to get upset. Just tell her you want to include FMIL as a nice gesture, but for your other appointments it can be just you and your mom (if that's what you and she both want). Besides the appointment where you pick one out, typically you'll also have an appointment to go pick it up once it comes in, and then all the fittings, so there's lots of opportunities to include people or to have those mother-daughter moments. No big deal.
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  • No rules, but sometimes moms do see that as a bonding thing.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • There is no rule about it. Bring 1. People who are close to you and want to go. 2. People who will be positive about it. 3. People whose opinions you actually care about.

    My mom actually insisted that FMIL should be invited to go dress shopping with us. (Not that I objected! FMIL is wonderful and she's great friends with Mom.)

    However, Mom, Grandma, and I walked into a boutique just to look around and kill some time between a cousin's bridal shower and meeting up with some cousins and aunts for dinner. We ended up finding the perfect dress in my size, in the clearance/discontinued rack.
  • There's no rule, but having multiple people there giving different opinions can be overwhelming.
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  • No rules. I went alone. I'm very indecisive, and I don't like when people give me opinions. I will invite my Mom and FMIL to my first fitting, though.
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  • No rules. I went by myself twice to a couple different salons, once with friends to a third salon, and then I took my mom and one of my sisters to the same three salons to see my top picks and make a final decision. My FMIL is way way out of town so I didn't invite her and my other sister was away at college too and couldn't make it. My best advice is to keep the group small and intimate. Large groups can drown out your opinion or pressure you in to a dress that may not be your favorite. Also try not to do more than two or three salons in a day. If you do multiple appointments in a day, make sure you give yourself time in between appointments for travel and also plan in a coffee or lunch break.



  • I had my mother and MIL with me. My MIL was extremely touched that I asked her to come, and I really enjoyed having her there. But no, there are no rules.
  • I am definitely planning on keeping groups small. Maybe after the first one she will relax a little bit and not see it as such a big deal. I am thinking it's just the excitement of it all getting her worked up, I am the oldest of four siblings and her and I are pretty close. 
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  • As others have said, there is no rule. I went with only my mom and was really glad I didn't bring anyone else. It would have been overwhelming dealing with so many opinions and so many people looking at me when I'm trying to make such an important decision.
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