Really torn with this decision. WWTKD?

beethery · January 2015

esstee33 said:

Nope. I wouldn't invite her. She has continually been nasty and abusive to you despite you reaching out to her with kindness and apologies. Stop putting the ball back in her court and giving her more opportunity to be a hateful bitch. The more you chase her, the more she's going to torment you. Stop chasing her and let her feel the damage she's done.

Take the damn ball and keep it. You don't need to keep trying to play with her.

arrippa · January 2015

My opinion is the same as most of the PP's. I think you need to cut her out of your life. Every time I read about your family, I get angry. Not angry at you but angry at your family. I can't believe they enable your sister to this degree and every time they do, it hurts you.

Bottom line, if your sister doesn't care how you feel, why should you?

sophhabobopha · January 2015

novella1186 · January 2015

jacques27 you're right again lol. I think I'm gonna re-read that every time I question whether I should include her in stuff.

novella1186 · January 2015

MagicInk said:

If every time you put a ball in someone's court they pick it up and pelt you with it then it's time to take your ball and go home.

I really love this phrase. And it's totally true.

RebeccaB88 · January 2015

She's had plenty of opportunities to be nice to you if she wanted to.

Let it go.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

beethery · January 2015

Here you go:

novella1186 · January 2015

lol now you guys are making me choke on my vodka (laughing). You're the best!

larrygaga · January 2015

I'll be your sister, I already have 6.

lovegood90 · January 2015

esstee33 said:
Nope. I wouldn't invite her. She has continually been nasty and abusive to you despite you reaching out to her with kindness and apologies. Stop putting the ball back in her court and giving her more opportunity to be a hateful bitch.

The more you chase her, the more she's going to torment you. Stop chasing her and let her feel the damage she's done.

As always, right on the money.

velvethelicopters · January 2015

End that relationship now. She doesn't want to act like a grown adult, you don't need that in your life.

My family of requirement is flat out awful. Horrible is being kind. And I put up with it for years because some stupid unicorn was telling me "They're family......" Then the tirade and abuse towards my daughters. I may be stupid enough to put up with crap shoveled on me, but fucking hell to the no am I putting my daughters in the path.

So I killed the damn unicorn, stopped playing doormat and replaced my jello spine. I no longer have family of requirement and while it's hard at times, my daughters aren't subjected to thinking the mind fuckery from a delusional narcissist and her alcoholic pet male is fine and normal, so I'm not changing a damn thing. Most days, I'm far happier. Bad days, DF/FMIL/FSIL/Mom by choice remind me my mother by requirement would justbe ccausing nasty scenes if she was around.

novella1186 · January 2015

larrygaga said:

I'll be your sister, I already have 6.

Thanks! All I want in a sister is someone to drink with, and to talk mad shit about things that annoy us, and to tell me when my outfit is ugly so I don't embarrass myself

Unknown · January 2015

This content has been removed.

velvethelicopters · January 2015

novella1186 said:

larrygaga said:

I'll be your sister, I already have 6.

Thanks! All I want in a sister is someone to drink with, and to talk mad shit about things that annoy us, and to tell me when my outfit is ugly so I don't embarrass myself

*raises hand*

I promise I'm not too awful. Little crass, but more on the tacky than rude side. Fully stocked filthy mind, and former bartender. I'm not quite so good at clothes however. I'm willing to learn.

novella1186 · January 2015

velvethelicopters said:

larrygaga said:

I'll be your sister, I already have 6.

Thanks! All I want in a sister is someone to drink with, and to talk mad shit about things that annoy us, and to tell me when my outfit is ugly so I don't embarrass myself
*raises hand* I promise I'm not too awful. Little crass, but more on the tacky than rude side. Fully stocked filthy mind, and former bartender. I'm not quite so good at clothes however. I'm willing to learn.

Done! My adopted family happens to be the people I love the most anyway

(One of my BMs is a "cousin" I've known since we were babies and I would pretty much walk through fire for her. I'm sure she'd do the same for me)

velvethelicopters · January 2015

Yay! We can let the rotten ones complain to each other.

I know how adopted family goes. My Maid of Honor is my sister by choice, I took her last name socially as a pissed off teenager and well, good enough. Not sure on fire walking, but we'll be sitting together in jail going either "That was fun" or "That was worth it".

larrygaga · January 2015

novella1186 said:

larrygaga said:

I'll be your sister, I already have 6.

Thanks! All I want in a sister is someone to drink with, and to talk mad shit about things that annoy us, and to tell me when my outfit is ugly so I don't embarrass myself

I'm good at most of that! I am the "artistic" one so my outfits are usually ugly. I hate matching.

banana468 · January 2015

Ditto everyone. She's made her bed. Stop reaching out to her. It only results in her horrible antics and manipulations. The idea that you're wanting to invite her to your wedding makes me wonder if you're wanting to prove her horribleness to your parents because you know if she shows up she'll create a horrible scene.

climbingsingle · January 2015

Another vote for NO!

[Deleted User] · January 2015

I'm also voting for no. Do it for your sake, not to punish her (even if she deserves to be punished somehow). Have fun- doesn't seem like you can do that with her in the picture.

steph861 · January 2015

esstee33 said:
Nope. I wouldn't invite her. She has continually been nasty and abusive to you despite you reaching out to her with kindness and apologies. Stop putting the ball back in her court and giving her more opportunity to be a hateful bitch.

The more you chase her, the more she's going to torment you. Stop chasing her and let her feel the damage she's done.

I don't think I could say it any better than that. 100% agree.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

Another no vote! It's time to stop worrying about the feelings of someone who clearly has made the choice to not care about yours. You've given her enough opportunities to make amends, and based on what you said about her last email, it's time to shut that door!

OliveOilsMom · January 2015

Also, look at it this way, its just a pre-wedding party. If she gets all butt hurt that she didn't get invited to the b-party, that is on her and no way your problem. And if she ever does want to reconcile, if she holds you not inviting her to your b-party against you, it would give me pause to know her real motivation for reconciliation. A b-party is just a party, so what normal/sane person will hold that against someone else?

pinkcow13 · January 2015

Yup, another vote for No. You are fabulous, you don't need someone toxic in your life.

drunkenwitch · January 2015

Novella, how many times are you going to give her chances to spit in your face before you start putting yourself first? What will inviting her accomplish? Do you think it will magically make her change her behavior? It won't. She will use it as another opportunity to treat you like shit. The frog and the scorpion my dear, frog and the scorpion. Don't invite her.

Remember, you don't owe her jack shit.

ETA: Frog not fish.

mrsdee15 · January 2015

No!!! She's been awful to you, it's heartbreaking to hear about her antics. You are a lovely person and she shouldn't be given any more chances to be horrible to you. And I will totally be your drinking sister friend!