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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

ceremony

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Re: ceremony

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited January 2015
    I know this, but it is very difficult to arrange.  It is not something that you can count on.  My ex-stepfather was not able to receive the sacraments for nearly 40 years, until my mother recently died.  He did not get a church annulment before he remarried outside of the church, and then divorced again.  I always warn Catholic brides.  It is better to know what can happen, especially with both families being strong Catholics.
    We often see Catholic brides who want to have a garden ceremony, and then assume that they can easily get a convalidation.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its

    nhs226 said:
    A Catholic can receive dispensation to be married in another church without a priest present. Furthermore, re "ever" and "never again", MANY couples get married without a Catholic priest and then later get their marriage blessed/recognized by the church (and hence are able to receive communion). 

    Dispensations should be obtained before the marriage ceremony takes place.

    Convalidation isn't given without proof that the couple has resolved the issue that prevented them from marrying in the church to begin with.

    All Catholics should meet with their priests before they marry if they plan to continue to receive the sacraments, including  communion. Then they may make an informed decision on whether or not they want to marry in the Catholic church.

                       
    CMGragain
  • CMGragain said:
    I know this, but it is very difficult to arrange.  It is not something that you can count on.  My ex-stepfather was not able to receive the sacraments for nearly 40 years, until my mother recently died.  He did not get a church annulment before he remarried outside of the church, and then divorced again.  I always warn Catholic brides.  It is better to know what can happen, especially with both families being strong Catholics.
    We often see Catholic brides who want to have a garden ceremony, and then assume that they can easily get a convalidation.
    Remarrying without an annulment is totally different than simply marrying outside of the church--it's considered adultery that can only be "solved" by annulment or the death of the original spouse. Your stepfather's problem was that he was still considered to be married to his first wife, not that the subsequent marriages were outside of the RCC.

    But yes, I completely agree that you shouldn't do a non-church ceremony only to plan to get it approved later. I just objected to the "never ever" language. 
  • I left a message on SOB ex-step father's answering machine, telling him that he was now officially a widower.  I haven't spoken to him in 35 years.  He taught me about men who make promises and then refuse to accept any responsibility.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    DD. Too bad-it was an interesting thread.
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited January 2015
    I'm still confused as to why OP wants to get married in a Catholic church after slinging out offensive remarks about "silly rules". I didn't agree with a lot of their doctrine--so I LEFT. Even, gasp, after being born into an Italian family and raised Roman Catholic.
    Anniversary

    image
    MairePoppy
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Jen4948 said:
    DD. Too bad-it was an interesting thread.
    Interesting in a good way or bad way?
                       
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers


    Jen4948 said:

    DD. Too bad-it was an interesting thread.

    Interesting in a good way or bad way?


    Generally good.
  • I wasn't being married in a Catholic church, but a Christian one. 
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited January 2015
    I wasn't being married in a Catholic church, but a Christian one. 
    Oh, boy.  Here we go.

    Catholic churches ARE Christian churches.  To imply that they are not is insulting to all Catholics.  I don't think that is what you meant, but please be careful how you post.

    You do realize that ANY marriage that is not held in a Catholic church (without special dispensation) will not be recognized by the Catholic church?  I know YOU are OK with this, but is your FI?

    As a retired church organist, I played for many weddings that involved Catholic couples who were not able to marry in the Catholic church.  They had both made the decision to permanently leave the Catholic church, and they were OK with this.  It needs to be a mutual decision.
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  • No I belong to a different church. A Chapel with a pastor. I do not belong to a catholic church. There is a difference. My FI is fine with this, he does not mind. We still attend weddings in a Catholic church and take communion because in my church we take communion and my church will recognize us as married couple under God. 
  • I am confirmed so if we decided to marry in a Catholic church for my FI then I can. 
  • I just think my initial question on the post was taken too far. It was simply asking if you could bring your own pastor or officiant in to perform a marriage at a church. I found out the answer. It is yes to some churches and no to others. The other issues that come of it are not of my concern or my FI. Thank you for your advice and information, I do appreciate it. 
  • No I belong to a different church. A Chapel with a pastor. I do not belong to a catholic church. There is a difference. My FI is fine with this, he does not mind. We still attend weddings in a Catholic church and take communion because in my church we take communion and my church will recognize us as married couple under God. 
    There isn't anyone actually stopping you from receiving communion in a Catholic church but if a priest knows that you aren't a Catholic in good standing, you aren't supposed to receive it.   I feel like you're confusing the wording here.   If you don't have dispensation to marry outside the church then you (or your FI) would not be Catholics in good standing and therefore you aren't supposed to receive any Sacraments.    
    slothiegalMairePoppy
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited January 2015
    banana468 said:



    No I belong to a different church. A Chapel with a pastor. I do not belong to a catholic church. There is a difference. My FI is fine with this, he does not mind. We still attend weddings in a Catholic church and take communion because in my church we take communion and my church will recognize us as married couple under God. 

    There isn't anyone actually stopping you from receiving communion in a Catholic church but if a priest knows that you aren't a Catholic in good standing, you aren't supposed to receive it.   I feel like you're confusing the wording here.   If you don't have dispensation to marry outside the church then you (or your FI) would not be Catholics in good standing and therefore you aren't supposed to receive any Sacraments.    

    -----

    Yeah....this whole story is fishy.

    But, silly me, I forgot that OP is a badass and just does what she wants, "silly rules" of a church aside.

    Eta stupid box
    Anniversary

    image
  • haha this is true 
  • haha this is true 

    So basically you have no clue about what the Church will say to you and your FI. Does he get that unlike you they don't make up rules as they go?
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I don't go to the catholic church, I left it many years ago. I take communion at my new church, which is Christian. Communion is not only part of a Catholic church. It represents Jesus and His body, so whether you are part of that church or not you are still able to take communion. I do not let a Church tell me what I can and cannot do. I read the Bible and go to church to worship God. I respect the church, but I do not always respect the ways of men and how they lead the church. The catholic church I was at many years ago was greedy and manipulative. They started introducing practices that made no sense to our religion to please the people who brought in the money. Perhaps my feelings towards one Catholic church has ruin the experience for all other ones. 

    Well, if you believe that Communion is a representation of Jesus' body and blood and not the True Presence, then leaving the Catholic Church was the right call for you.
    MairePoppybanana468
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited January 2015
    Seriously, OP, I have seen several marriages fail over religious issues.  Please get this straight with your FI before making any definite plans.  Sometimes religious attitudes change when children come along, too.
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