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Informal reception

Knottie08134669Knottie08134669 member
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in Wedding Reception Forum
We are having a private destination wedding that only our parents are going to but want to celebrate with our friends when we return so we are hosting a party to celebrate afterwards. We wanted it to be informal so we were thinking of renting a beach house and having a bbq with cocktails and cutting the wedding cake. I was just curious if anyone thought that that might be tacky? We were trying not to have a formal reception because of the cost and thought that this might be a fun way to do it. Thoughts? 
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Re: Informal reception

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    levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    If you host a "celebration of marriage" without any trappings of a wedding (ceremony, vows, spotlight dance, bouquet toss, etc), then you are perfectly within etiquette.  Some people might side eye cutting a wedding cake.  I personally would not.  It would be a total reenactment that would get the side eye from me, but that's not what you're doing.

    A beach house and BBQ sounds like a great time!


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    Knottie08134669Knottie08134669 member
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    Lol at the destination wedding we will not have a cake and I definitely want us to have that "one year anniversary cake" so I decided might as well give everyone else some too
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    artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Cake is great. By all means have cake. Not a wedding-looking cake. But normal party cake, hell yes.
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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    artbyallie said:
    Cake is great. By all means have cake. Not a wedding-looking cake. But normal party cake, hell yes.
    Meh, if I was attending a Celebration of Marriage party I wouldn't side eye a wedding looking cake.  It would make sense to me.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    At any celebratory event, a cake is usually present.  And typically the guest of honor, which in this case would be the recently married couple since it is a celebration of their recent marriage, would cut the cake.  So really, I don't see why anyone would side-eye you having a cake and cutting it.


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    chibiyuichibiyui member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I never side eye cake. NEVER.
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    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    If you invite me to a party, there better be cake. 
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    vulpiepopvulpiepop member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Sounds good as long as you don't try to reenact the ceremony. 

    I wouldn't side-eye the cake, even if it looks like a wedding cake. Cake is cake and if I get to have a slice, it's all good.

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    ohannabelleohannabelle member
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    Thumbs up to cake. I don't mind the idea of wedding themed cake at a party celebrating a marriage. You're not playing wedding, you're serving cake. It's like when people served tiered cakes at anniversary parties. 

    I need to bake a cake. Right now.
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Just to be sure that you understand, this is NOT a wedding reception.  It is a party to celebrate your marriage.  Your wedding reception is for your guests, and since you will have none at your wedding, then you do not have a wedding reception.
    Your plans sound fine.
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    JennyColadaJennyColada member
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    CMGragain said:

    Just to be sure that you understand, this is NOT a wedding reception.  It is a party to celebrate your marriage.  Your wedding reception is for your guests, and since you will have none at your wedding, then you do not have a wedding reception.
    Your plans sound fine.

    If sounds like she will have a few (her parents).
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    jacques27jacques27 member
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    Yes to cake. 

    My mother recently attended a PPD'ish-like event (not quite a PPD, but more PPD'ish than a "Celebration of Marriage").  The first words out of her mouth when I spoke to her after the party was "They didn't even have cake!  WHO DOESN'T HAVE CAKE?!?"
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    MandyMostMandyMost member
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    Just don't reenact any vows, or pretend that it's actually your wedding and not just a party, and you're fine. Have it anywhere you want (beach house sounds great!) and invite anyone you want. 

    You can send invitations (as you would for any party), and you can have cake (why not? Cake is cake! Even make it a tiered cake. Just don't put a wedding topper of a bride and groom on it), and you can wear a pretty dress in any color, even white. Honestly, as long as you're not walking down an aisle, reenacting vows, having a bridal party, etc., it's fine.

    As with any party you host, just make sure to actually host it. This means providing all of the food and drink and ensuring there is enough space (i.e. seats!) for your guests, and also not requiring or expecting any guests to do any work (no setting up, or cleaning). 


    If you want to have a potluck or BYOB occasion, then you're really not hosting. And if you're not really hosting, you shouldn't be sending real invites, or really planning the rest of it either. It's like the difference from asking someone out on a date (where the asker is expected to pay) vs. saying "Hey, I'm going to this bar later, you should come by if you're not busy". The former is like a party you're hosting, the latter is like at potluck or BYOB. 
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    cantwaitforthefuturecantwaitforthefuture member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    My brother basically did this.  He and his now wife had a very small ceremony at their house just for our family and her family.  The next day they had what they called a wedding party.  They did have cake.  It was very nice and people seemed to have a great time.
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