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Wedding Party
ambiguousbride
member
Is this an outdated tradition???
I have always been under the impression that the mother of the bride chooses a dress and then reaches out to the mother of the groom as a subtle indication of the their attire for the day. Is this an outdated tradition?
Also should the mother of the bride/groom wait until the bride chooses her dress and BM dresses before selecting hers?
Also should the mother of the bride/groom wait until the bride chooses her dress and BM dresses before selecting hers?
Best Answer
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KatWAG member
ambiguousbride said:I have always been under the impression that the mother of the bride chooses a dress and then reaches out to the mother of the groom as a subtle indication of the their attire for the day. Is this an outdated tradition?
Also should the mother of the bride/groom wait until the bride chooses her dress and BM dresses before selecting hers?Yes. This is outdated.
The mother of Bride/groom are not part of the bridal party. They can wear whatever they want. They dont need to match eachother or the rest of the bridal party. They should pick whatever they like and feel most comfortable in. Wthout any intererence from the bride.
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Re: Is this an outdated tradition???
No, they don't have to wait. They can and should wear whatever they want and are comfortable in.
MIL brought this up to my mom a year in advance of the wedding - "Please pick something soon because there's a good selection of fall dresses right now and I'd like to buy my dress! Let me know what you pick so we're both in long or short dresses and we're not in the same color because you traditionally get to choose your color first."
My mom was like, "Um, I have not thought about this at all, won't for a while, and probably will make my dress. Go buy whatever you want!" It also took me verifying that there were no colors which were off limits for MIL to actually go buy something.
I had never heard of the tradition before that. Seems like way more trouble than it's worth.
When my sister got married, our mom and her husband's mom went shopping together several times, but that's because they're best friends.
My MIL is an absolute sweetheart, and wanted to wear something that I would like. I wanted her to wear something she wanted to wear. J had told me beforehand that MIL had a dress she'd really like to wear, and would probably bring it up at one point. Sure enough, she asked if she could get my opinion on it, I said "holy crap, that's gorgeous!", and that's what she wore (spoiler alert: if it's what she wanted to wear, I would have said the same thing even if it was a burlap sack).
My mom wore something that she had bought the last time we got together, about a month before J and I started planning our wedding.
I was thinking more inviting her to do so, if she wanted, when she comes to visit. She feels very left out of the whole thing because she lives far away.
My mom said "she (MOG) can go first, I'm not ready yet". So MOG went first, she told my mom the color, and that was it.
In my family, it was never about the style, it was always about the color (not wearing the same color as a BM or the other mother of honor.)
The order of mothers and dress choices is way outdated.
Still customary: The bride lets both mothers know how formal her gown is. Long tradition is that no one ever dresses in a more formal way than the bride.
Thus, MOB or MOG who want to wear ball gowns with husbands or SO in tuxes, while bride is in a simple long sheath or cocktail dress and groom in a suit. No floor length mothers' gowns when bride is in a street length suit or white eyelet sundress.
Every now and then I used to do alterations or custom make dresses, and Mothers would want to be queen on kids' wedding day. No, No.