Choosing Bridesmaids (HAVING A HARD TIME)

Re: Choosing Bridesmaids (HAVING A HARD TIME)

• mlg78 member

  

  January 2015

  You don't need even sides.  Choose them both, choose one, or don't include those two friends.  Even sides really don't matter.  If you were in a crisis and you needed a shoulder to cry on...who would you call?  Who would drop what they're doing and be by your side?  That's who should be standing next to you on your wedding day whether it's one girl or ten.

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• slothiegal member

  

  January 2015

  Knottie3576522 said:

  So I have never posted before, hello everyone

  A little background on my situation, my fiance proposed on new years eve, and we decided we want to get married this summer! We have a date and a venue so far and now I'm starting to think about bridesmaids. I am a hair stylist and I just started at a new salon about 6 months ago, and I have really bonded with the girls I work with. I don't have a lot of close friends. A good friend (former room mate) and I had a falling out a few months ago and we don't talk anymore. In that time I have especially bonded with two of my coworkers. Now, with all of that being said. We are having a backyard, kind of non traditional fun sort of wedding. About 80-100 people or so. My fiance has four groomsmen in mind. I was wondering, along with my sister, cousin, and my fiances aunt, would it be weird to ask one of my work friends? And if so, how would I choose? I have a close friend outside of the salon that I could also ask, but she has 5 kids and is so busy all of the time we don't get to hang out much anymore.. I just don't know if she would want to/could make time.. But on the other hand I worry about offending her if I don't ask. She and I have been friends since beauty school 5 years ago. She is someone I would consider a best friend, we just never see each other I'm just not sure what the right route would be.. Hoping for a little guidance and advice

  First of all, congrats!

  
  

  Second of all, if you're only considering asking a work friend to even up the sides, I'm going to tell you in big bold letters: DON'T.  We hear horror stories all the time about people choosing a bridesmaid just to have even sides or out of some family/friend obligation and it falling through as the wedding draws closer.  Uneven sides are totally fine and super common.  Your bridal party should be those nearest and dearest to you, not an additional stressor.

  
  

  Keep in mind, bridesmaids have no responsibilities to you other than to show up at your wedding in the outfit you all have decided on (within the BM's budget), sober-ish, standing next to you.  Bridesmaids have no responsibility to throw parties, help with DIY stuff, etc.  If you want this friend to be by your side, ask her!  She'll let you know if she can't/doesn't want to do it for some reason.  If you're simply scared she'll be offended, that's on her and not your concern.  

  
  

  (For what it's worth, my MOH was my BF...we get to see each other about once a year, didn't see each other at all during the planning process.  She's still one of the most important people in my life and there was no way I was getting married without her by my side.)

  

  
  

  
  

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• bufferomama member

  

  January 2015

  Both of your replies make me feel better. In regard to who I can count on I know I could count on each and every single one of them. Which makes it even harder! I love them all, and if I could I would have every single one of them up there with me! But, I am kind of crazy in the sense that it would make me feel good to have even sides. 

  
  

  I do feel like I cant see myself getting married without my friend that I don't see often. Shes been there for me through so much! 

  
  

  Did you guys do anything special to ask your bridesmaids? My sister will be my MOH and shes 14, so I want to do something sweet for her. I know a lot of brides "propose" to their bridesmaids. Its cute, but is it a necessity? 

  

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• slothiegal member

  

  January 2015

  Knottie3576522 said:

  Both of your replies make me feel better. In regard to who I can count on I know I could count on each and every single one of them. Which makes it even harder! I love them all, and if I could I would have every single one of them up there with me! But, I am kind of crazy in the sense that it would make me feel good to have even sides. 

  
  

  I do feel like I cant see myself getting married without my friend that I don't see often. Shes been there for me through so much! 

  
  

  Did you guys do anything special to ask your bridesmaids? My sister will be my MOH and shes 14, so I want to do something sweet for her. I know a lot of brides "propose" to their bridesmaids. Its cute, but is it a necessity? 

  Definitely not a necessity, and can put some undue pressure on your girls.  (i.e., it's going to be a lot harder for a potential bridesmaid to say "no, I don't have enough time/money/whatever to be in your wedding" if you're presenting a gift or making some grand gesture) 

  
  

  Personally, I simply had a conversation with each of my bridesmaids invdividually.  

  

  
  

  
  

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• bufferomama member

  

  January 2015

  Oh yes. That makes sense. Well thank you very much for your advice! The whole wedding planning in general is so new and overwhelming!! I think these boards are going to be a big help!!

  

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• slothiegal member

  

  January 2015

  No worries, we know what it's like!  If you're going to stick around, considering changing your username from Knotie##'s so we can get to know you  

  

  
  

  
  

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• bufferomama member

  

  January 2015

  There I changed it! Much better. Maybe I'll find a cool gif too

  

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