Easter Weekend Wedding

wiki8 · March 2013

Hi there! I was wondering if I could get some opinions. I am a teacher, and I was hoping to have the wedding the weekend before April break of next year. I am just realizing this would be Easter weekend. Is that a terrible time to have it? I would hopefully do Saturday 4/19, but if the venue does not have Saturday available I would also be open to Friday 4/18 which is Good Friday. I would of course have a fish option, and don't plan on having a church ceremony. Do you think anyone would be offended or upset my wedding is this weekend? Some of our family members are Catholic, but none of our immediate family is really hard core in practicing it. Thank so much in advance!

wiki8 · March 2013

Also, we have no out of town guests.

Angelface225 · March 2013

I think you'll find alot of people have family obligations that weekend. With our 3 family dinners for every holiday FI and I would have a hard time attending an Easter wedding. It really depends on how important it is to you to have all your friends/family there. I would also discuss with VIPs prior to making a final decision. Even Catholics who don't go to church regularly often do the Christmas/Easter services.

banana468 · March 2013

I would find it to be really offensive if asked to attend a wedding that weekend.

Good Friday is the most solemn day in the Catholic Church. It's a day of fast and abstinence. Personally, I'd avoid that weekend.

lyndausvi · March 2013

My Catholic family would never attend a wedding on Good Friday. That is one of (if not the) holiest day of the year. Even Saturday would be an issue. Your family might be different.

libby2483 · March 2013

In Response to Re:Easter Weekend Wedding:[QUOTE]My Catholic family would never attend a wedding on Good Friday.nbsp; That is one ofnbsp; if not the holiest day of the year.nbsp; Even Saturday would be an issue.nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp; Your family might be different. Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

My family is the same. Also, many people have long standing plans and family traditions for Easter weekend, so expect large numbers of people to decline.

rachelm13 · March 2013

Even as a Jew, I would avoid having a wedding that weekend... On top of it being the most solemn of Catholic holidays, usually Passover is right around then as well, there are specific food restrictions involved for that holiday too.

jennyd412 · March 2013

If you are planning for the purpose of having your honeymoon right after, why not have the wedding the week before and still take your honeymoon over april vacation. You'll have to go back to work for the week in between, but a lot of people do that. I see that you are from Rhode Island and I think you should expect many guests to decline. Rhode Island is a very Catholic state and even people who don't practice regularly, often observe Easter weekend. Also, even though you don't have out of town guests, you might have guests who go out of town for Easter...

MobKaz · March 2013

You don't mention whether you would be looking to have a religious ceremony. You may find that many churches/denominations would not be willing/able to perform a ceremony that particular weekend.

wiki8 · March 2013

In Response to Re:Easter Weekend Wedding:[QUOTE]If you are planning for the purpose of having your honeymoon right after, why not havenbsp;the weddingnbsp;the week before and still take your honeymoon over april vacation. You'll have to go back to work for the week in between, but a lot of people do that. I see that you are from Rhode Island and I think you should expect many guests to decline. Rhode Island is a very Catholic state and even people who don't practice regularly, often observenbsp;Easter nbsp;weekend. Also, even though you don't have out of town guests, you might have guests who go out of town for Easter... Posted by jennyd412[/QUOTE]

Thanks, yes that was why I was hoping to have it the week before April break. I assumed vacation would be the week of the 13th like it is this year. I didn't expect it to be Easter weekend! I know Good Friday might be a bad day, I was just hoping the Saturday might not be offensive. My family has never done anything for Easter, and his family only does a lunch that Sunday but they do a lunch EVERY Sunday lol so it's not exactly a big deal I think after your responses we might offend some non immediate family members though. I will have to ask around and see what people think of the date.

wiki8 · March 2013

In Response to Re:Easter Weekend Wedding:[QUOTE]You don't mention whether you would be looking to have a religious ceremony. nbsp;You may find that many churches/denominations would not be willing/able to perform a ceremony nbsp;that particular weekend. Posted by mobkaz[/QUOTE]

Sorry, I thought I did! No religious ceremony for us!

NOLAbridealmost · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_easter-weekend-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a771936-336c-4d50-842e-f0821418c147Post:dbbfa19e-e65f-4ef1-9fad-f5704c3eb841">Re:Easter Weekend Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Easter Weekend Wedding:

Sorry, I thought I did! No religious ceremony for us!
Posted by wiki8[/QUOTE]

You did; that poster missed it.

I don't see a wedding on the Saturday as a big deal as long as you've cleared it with your VIPs.

wittykitty14 · March 2013

Talk to your VIP's, it might work out for everyone. Because you're thinking Easter weekend though, right before a school vacation, expect a lot of people to decline. I agree with a PP who said that even those who don't go to church regularly often go to ones on major holidays (Good Friday, Easter Vigil, Easter...). You said you don't have any OOT guests, but do any of those guests travel elsewhere for Easter? Any guests with children who have school breaks the following week may be planning to go on vacation for Easter and the week after. Another thought-Good Friday is one of the only days in the Catholic Church where they ask people to fast. If you have any devout Catholics invited, that would be difficult for them. Then add that it's a Friday wedding, which will require careful timing because people typically work that day and would need to take time off. Even if you have the wedding on Saturday, that's still Easter Vigil, which is always an evening mass. Speaking as a Catholic, if I had to choose between which of the three masses to attend Easter weekend, I would ALWAYS choose Easter Vigil, so it's something to keep in mind. I like the suggestion a PP had-have your wedding the weekend before. Yeah, you'd have to go back to work before you can go on your honeymoon, but it would avoid a lot of religious conflicts. The only thing to keep in mind with that is that if you did a Saturday wedding, that Sunday is Palm Sunday. But it woulds like if all your guests are local, it shouldn't be a problem. I just wanted to throw it out there. Definitely talk to you VIP's. It might work out! Trying to pick a wedding date is harder than some people may think it is! I wish you the best of luck!

PS-Sorry if my post bounced in all different directions-I didn't want to forget anything!

OliveOilsMom · March 2013

I know that you are not having a church ceremony, but if you have many religious family members, they will probably be offended to have the ceremony Friday or Saturday of Easter weekend. Saturday is not as solemn a day as Friday, but most people would probably be preparing for any Easter feast they will be hosting the next day. And the Catholic Church does not perform weddings on Easter weekend or Christmas weekend (if it falls on the weekend). I would try to have the ceremony the week before Easter and go on your honeymoon the following week. H & I actually waited until July for our honeymoon and we were married in March (today actually!), he worked as a student aide at the time and had very little vacation days since he was only part time.

GoodLuckBear14 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_easter-weekend-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a771936-336c-4d50-842e-f0821418c147Post:cab49991-d732-4cdd-ab15-40a9605bc23e">Re:Easter Weekend Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Easter Weekend Wedding: Thanks, yes that was why I was hoping to have it the week before April break. I assumed vacation would be the week of the 13th like it is this year. I didn't expect it to be Easter weekend! <strong>I know Good Friday might be a bad day, I was just hoping the Saturday might not be offensive.</strong> My family has never done anything for Easter, and his family only does a lunch that Sunday but they do a lunch EVERY Sunday lol so it's not exactly a big deal I think after your responses we might offend some non immediate family members though. I will have to ask around and see what people think of the date.
Posted by wiki8[/QUOTE]

The Saturday between Good Friday and Easter Sunday is (for lack of a better term) a time of mourning (this is the day Christ was dead) and it would be incredibly offensive to hold a wedding on this day.

Xstatic3333 · March 2013

I might try to avoid this. If you did do Saturday, many people would have to be up early the next day and would be a bit restrained. My family isn't very religious but still does an Easter brunch. Would you consider the weekend before February break? With no out of towners cancelled flights aren't a huge worry, and you could probably work a great deal.

wiki8 · March 2013

Our ceremony is going to be outside, so February break wouldn't really work. It is still snowing here and it's March! haha. I would consider the weekend before April 12 seeing that was the day I originally wanted anyway! I have been asking my VIPs and so far no one has said the Saturday would be bad, but I still have a lot of his family to ask.

wiki8 · March 2013

Thanks so much to everyone who is replying!

jennyd412 · March 2013

Why not June? An outdoor wedding in April can still be chilly. Think about it -April 12th is just a few weeks away and it's not very warm right now. If your ceremony is on the water, it can be really chilly, or warm (RI is crazy) You have probably already thought of this, but have a back-up plan for an indoor ceremony..

wiki8 · March 2013

I have two weddings I'm a bridesmaid in in June. Not really an option, seeing they would also be on their honeymoon when mine would happen. We were thinking August but you save a couple thousand dollars if it is off season like April. Plus our dating anniversary is in April and we thought that would be nice.

nda8414 · March 2013

If anyone is truly offended, they don't have to come. Do what works best for you and FI.

banana468 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_easter-weekend-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a771936-336c-4d50-842e-f0821418c147Post:65297052-6211-49cf-9a4b-cdde2570c940">Re: Easter Weekend Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]If anyone is truly offended, they don't have to come. Do what works best for you and FI.
Posted by nda8414[/QUOTE]

I loathe this logic. How about not offending people in the first place?

nda8414 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_easter-weekend-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a771936-336c-4d50-842e-f0821418c147Post:a59be9ff-8853-4ca1-8232-9e507fd2d959">Re: Easter Weekend Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Easter Weekend Wedding : I loathe this logic. How about not offending people in the first place?
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

I guess I just have a lot of very easily offended people in my family who define being offended as you not doing exactly what they want. All I'm saying is, if she's a teacher, and that's the best option for her and FI, then they have to do what they need to do. I don't really see how a reasonable person could actually get offended over receiving an invitation to a wedding, Easter weekend or not

banana468 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_easter-weekend-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a771936-336c-4d50-842e-f0821418c147Post:79d6459b-bfe8-4ed3-b12f-44248d45d599">Re: Easter Weekend Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Easter Weekend Wedding : I guess I just have a lot of very easily offended people in my family who define being offended as you not doing exactly what they want. All I'm saying is, if she's a teacher, and that's the best option for her and FI, then they have to do what they need to do. I don't really see how a reasonable person could actually get offended over receiving an invitation to a wedding, Easter weekend or not
Posted by nda8414[/QUOTE]

It all depends in how it's handled.

In my family this just wouldn't work and it would be interpreted as offensive because it insults the committment that we have to our faith.

I understand that not every family feels that way so you need to do what works best for the VIPs.

MobKaz · March 2013

<div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;">In Response to Re:Easter Weekend Wedding:</span><div class="Discussion_PostQuote" style="font-size:12px;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-left:0px;outline:0px;vertical-align:baseline;font-family:Arial;">You don't mention whether you would be looking to have a religious ceremony. nbsp;You may find that many churches/denominations would not be willing/able to perform a ceremony nbsp;that particular weekend. Posted by mobkaz</div>

<span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;">Sorry, I thought I did! No religious ceremony for us!</span></div><div>
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</div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_easter-weekend-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a771936-336c-4d50-842e-f0821418c147Post:9ca44519-451a-4b90-91f5-33012291b962">Re:Easter Weekend Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Easter Weekend Wedding : You did; that poster missed it. I don't see a wedding on the Saturday as a big deal as long as you've cleared it with your VIPs.
Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

<div>**Note to self......be fully and completely awake before responding to posts. PS....skimming posts ='s reading failure :-( In the words of Emily LItella, "Never mind"!</div><div>
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rsfan23 · March 2013

OP, I would move it a week earlier to avoid Easter weekend. I have to add that Catholics aren't the only ones that celebrate Easter. I'm Protestant and I celebrate Easter and all the other Holy Week days. Holy Week is just as sacred to me as it would be to someone who is Catholic. This does not have to do with you, OP, this is one of my biggest pet peeves.

banana468 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_easter-weekend-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a771936-336c-4d50-842e-f0821418c147Post:3a322303-ac72-478c-bc62-27919ea66d11">Re: Easter Weekend Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, I would move it a week earlier to avoid Easter weekend. I have to add that Catholics aren't the only ones that celebrate Easter. I'm Protestant and I celebrate Easter and all the other Holy Week days. Holy Week is just as sacred to me as it would be to someone who is Catholic. This does not have to do with you, OP, this is one of my biggest pet peeves.
Posted by rsfan23[/QUOTE]

I should have added that my perspective is based on my own religion. You're right that it isn't just the Catholics since all Christian religions are based on Christ.

wiki8 · March 2013

I'm sorry if this is one of your pet peeves, but I think everyone has been posing about Catholics because that is the religion I said my family and guests might be. I understand other religions celebrate Easter, there just won't be anyone of a different faith there.

kmmssg · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_easter-weekend-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a771936-336c-4d50-842e-f0821418c147Post:02719084-3dc1-4cb7-9861-c4158435e749">Re: Easter Weekend Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Talk to your VIP's, it might work out for everyone. Because you're thinking Easter weekend though, right before a school vacation, expect a lot of people to decline. I agree with a PP who said that even those who don't go to church regularly often go to ones on major holidays (Good Friday, Easter Vigil, Easter...). You said you don't have any OOT guests, but do any of those guests travel elsewhere for Easter? <strong><em>Any guests with children who have school breaks the following week may be planning to go on vacation for Easter and the week after.</em></strong> Another thought-Good Friday is one of the only days in the Catholic Church where they ask people to fast. If you have any devout Catholics invited, that would be difficult for them. Then add that it's a Friday wedding, which will require careful timing because people typically work that day and would need to take time off. Even if you have the wedding on Saturday, that's still Easter Vigil, which is always an evening mass. Speaking as a Catholic, if I had to choose between which of the three masses to attend Easter weekend, I would ALWAYS choose Easter Vigil, so it's something to keep in mind. I like the suggestion a PP had-have your wedding the weekend before. Yeah, you'd have to go back to work before you can go on your honeymoon, but it would avoid a lot of religious conflicts. The only thing to keep in mind with that is that if you did a Saturday wedding, that Sunday is Palm Sunday. But it woulds like if all your guests are local, it shouldn't be a problem. I just wanted to throw it out there. Definitely talk to you VIP's. It might work out! Trying to pick a wedding date is harder than some people may think it is! I wish you the best of luck! :) PS-Sorry if my post bounced in all different directions-I didn't want to forget anything!
Posted by wittykitty14[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Everyone has given spot on advice regarding the potential for offending those who celebrate the spiritual significance of Easter. I married into a Catholic family and the idea would go over like a bomb.</div><div>
</div><div>Since that has all been covered I'm going to address the bold part above regarding families who travel during Spring Break. (This is our last one since DS is graduating, but I have had kids in this school system since 1986 thanks to that surprise child). </div><div>
</div><div>Our school district schedules Spring Break for the first full week in April, regardless of when Easter is scheduled. If it doesn't cover Easter then the kids get Good Friday off also. Actually, the majority of districts in our area do this too.</div><div>
</div><div>We wanted to go away for a couple of days with DS and his BF to Chicago and found out that State Finals for Quiz Bowl are being held the last weekend of Spring Break, which is killing trips for those families. I realize that at the State level, the organizers can't please everyone, but theres been a ton of grumbling from a lot of families.</div><div>
</div><div>DH isn't a practicing Catholic anymore and agreed that we should travel the first weekend of Spring Break because he can only get a couple of days off. We are traveling Easter weekend, but he uncomfortable with it. We talked about and made non-refundable reservations, only to find they rescheduled State Finals!</div><div>
</div><div>All that being said, I would ask you to think about not having your wedding on one of the Spring Break weekends IF you have many guests who travel with their children at that time. We always travel and we leave the second everyone is home from school/work and we return leaving one day to wash clothes and go back to school/work. If you have vacationing families they will really appreciate that.</div><div>
</div><div>Question for everyone - do your school districts still schedule Spring Break solely around Easter, or do they have a set week of the year like we do?

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AddieCake · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_easter-weekend-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a771936-336c-4d50-842e-f0821418c147Post:8137e9e3-e19c-41e3-8184-b0f30e581678">Re: Easter Weekend Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Easter Weekend Wedding : Question for everyone - do your school districts still schedule Spring Break solely around Easter, or do they have a set week of the year like we do?
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

<div>At the last district I worked in, it was a set week off (this past week, in fact) every year. Good Friday we got off and also the Monday unless we needed it for a bad weather make up day. </div>

MobKaz · March 2013

"Question for everyone - do your school districts still schedule Spring Break solely around Easter, or do they have a set week of the year like we do?"

Ours differs every year. It is dependent on the start date of the school year, which also varies every year. On years spring break is separate from Easter, we get Good Friday off. Sometimes, the Monday following Easter is an institute day. I like that because it is an easy way for the teachers to get back into the routine, but keeps the kids and their sugar buzz home to "detox"!

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