Ok how do you all feel about this?

[Deleted User] · January 2015

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

CaliRed said:

Hello,
I was engaged March 2014 I was supposed to get married 12-13-14. Well he broke it off. Yes I was very upset and stayed depressed a bit got out of my depression and finally went on a date with a new guy in October we talked everyday for hours the chemistry is through the roof. Fast forward to today he says he wants to marry me. He says he will go to the court house or a big wedding what ever I want. I don't know how to feel because I have strong feelings for him but I am nervous as heck!!!! I'm tired of being left hanging!!!! I asked him why the rush he says because he does not want to live in sin and it is what the Lord would want him to do.
I appreciate all the responses as I cannot talk to my friends about this they would just say I'm stupid for even considering or dating so fast.
Ok this may not be on the right thread or I don't know I'm still fairly new.
All opinions are appreciated.

1st, I'm sorry that you had a broken engagement but I'm glad that you have moved on.

The highlighted is not the right reason to get married, IMO. It sounds like your BF is a very conservative Christian? Are you as well?

There is nothing wrong with very strong conservative religious practices per se, but as other shave mentioned above, marriage is a big freaking deal and there are so many more things to consider that could have major repercussions down the line than just getting hitched in order to have sex.

In fact, I'd be highly suspect of anyone who is pressuring me into having sex with them.

emmaaa · January 2015

When H proposed to me, it was the easiest decision I ever had to make. If it wasn't your first instinct to say "yes" and get married, no doubt, then I think you should just wait..

BrandNewJ · January 2015

That's fantastic to hear, he sounds like a good guy if he's willing to wait and discuss and communicate with you. Take your time. There is no need to feel rushed, and you feel 100% yourself. My FI and I knew we wanted to be together forever after only a few months, but we waited over 4 years because we were young and wanted to make sure. There is nothing wrong with that! Have fun on your upcoming vacations and dates! So happy for you!

flyingfoxes · January 2015

My boss married her husband 8 weeks after they met, and they've been happily married for 12 years and still going strong.

Follow your gut. It sounds as though you're not quite sure yet though, and that is 1000% okay, too. Only you know what is right for you - you can't follow what you're "supposed" to do according to others - you do what's good for the two of you.

Inkdancer · January 2015

I am so glad that conversation went well! The fact that he can respect your feelings and be patient is very, very important to a successful relationship. I wish you both luck!

charcoalandblush · January 2015

I'm glad you had a talk with him, I absolutely think that was the right thing to do.

I was engaged once before DF. We had only been together about 4 months, and I was 20 years old. Neither of those would have mattered much, except because of both I felt like I wasn't ready to get married. He completely blindsided me with a proposal, and in that moment I had SO much doubt. But my mental process was "How do I say no? If I say no, I feel like our relationship will never be the same." I felt like I had two choices: say yes, or break up. I wasn't ready to break up, so I said yes. In hindsight, feeling like he would react that way should have been a big red flag - it's ok to be ready at different times! After two years of engagement and pushing our wedding back several times, we broke up.

You need to say yes because you are 100% sure. Not because you don't want to live in sin, or you don't want to hurt his feelings, or any other reason.

hellosweetie1015 · January 2015

I'm super super impressed with you, CaliRed. You seem like you've got a handle on yourself and where you stand with yourself. Which is fantastic.

I agree with PPs - and it sounds like your SO does too - if it's right, a year spent waiting will not change anything. I'm proud of you for talking to him, and proud of him for being receptive.

RosieC18 · January 2015

Congratulations! I'm so glad things worked out so well.

drunkenwitch · January 2015

His reasons for wanting to marry you are a big, BIG HUGE GIANT red flag. People should get married because they want to marry each other not Because Jesus.

So essentially, he just wants to marry you so you guys can bang?

CaliRed · January 2015

charcoalandblush this is exactly how I felt verbatim!!!

JaniV123 · January 2015

larrygaga said:

Yeah if he loves you enough to marry you he will wait for you to be ready. I say keep on trucking along the dating scene.

THIS^

sophhabobopha · January 2015

Glad everything is going well!

Ok how do you all feel about this?

Re: Ok how do you all feel about this?

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