Wedding Reception Forum

Open House Style Reception

The wedding planner at a potential venue suggested an open-house style reception. Has anyone heard of this? I am so not into being the center of attention and doing all of the crazy things. Maybe this would free up people's day for them? Thoughts?

Re: Open House Style Reception

  • erinlin25erinlin25 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited January 2015
    I don't think this would work and does not seem etiquette-friendly, IMO.  The reception would be directly after the reception, so I don't see how it would "open house" style.  If you are thinking of having a large gap between the ceremony and reception please do not do this.  It's rude. 

    If you don't like the "spotlight" there is no need to do a entrance or sit at your own table or even do spotlight dances, etc.  But you should have a reception for all of your guests to enjoy after your ceremony.  Whether it be a big party or at a restaurant or even cake & punch at the ceremony site (non meal time).

    My SIL did not want any of the "fuss."  So they had a beautiful ceremony followed by a reception at a local restaurant. There was happy hour and dinner/dessert with a open bar.  They did not have an entrance, wedding cake, dancing, bouquet toss. etc.  it was just appetizers, dinner and dessert you get at the restaurant.  We mingled with family & friends as we would any other night out at dinner.  It was one of the best weddings I went to.
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    Anniversary
  • Sheesh! Thank you for the warm welcome to these forums. Probably would be a very small ceremony that would not include all reception guests. Other more open-minded folks?
  • Sheesh! Thank you for the warm welcome to these forums. Probably would be a very small ceremony that would not include all reception guests. Other more open-minded folks?
    Chill.  PP was perfectly warm and polite and gave you good advice.

    A small ceremony and larger reception is only okay if you're talking immediate family only at the ceremony, no more than, say, 20 guests. 



  • I did open house style for my daughter's bat-mitzvah.  No speeches, spotlight dances, or Hora with her in the middle of the circle.  She just was not into it.   We also did not do assigned seating, but had to make sure there were at least 3 extra tables to make up for the fact that there might be an odd number at a table or two.  People were free to eat from the buffet when they wanted and came and went when they wanted. My only fear, going in, was that it would look disorganized, but people actually already know how to get food from a buffet, select tables and eat.  Imagine that! I did not feel like a DJ was needed for that type of party, so we had a lady with an electric keyboard for background music.  In the end, we even had some dancing.
  • Sheesh! Thank you for the warm welcome to these forums. Probably would be a very small ceremony that would not include all reception guests. Other more open-minded folks?

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    The reception is a way to thank guests for coming to the ceremony. As pp stated, if it's immediately family only at the ceremony and then everyone at the reception, then that is technically okay (but a lot of people will still frown on it). Anything else comes off as very gift grabby.

    As far as the reception...I don't know exactly what you mean by open house style. You surely don't mean that as a "drop in" reception, right?

    At my reception, we're still debating how and whether to have spotlight dances, no toasts, and we're doing stations for food. This allows people to move more at their own pace and makes it less about having all eyes on you all night.




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  • The wedding planner at a potential venue suggested an open-house style reception. Has anyone heard of this? I am so not into being the center of attention and doing all of the crazy things. Maybe this would free up people's day for them? Thoughts?
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  • The wedding planner at a potential venue suggested an open-house style reception. Has anyone heard of this? I am so not into being the center of attention and doing all of the crazy things. Maybe this would free up people's day for them? Thoughts?
    As long as everyone has a place to sit and the food/drink is appropriate for the time of day (e.g. meal if it's meal time; apps if it's not), it's up to you how you want to structure your reception.
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  • How will you know how much food to order? Or chairs to rent if its an open house?
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • What do you mean by open house? I've never heard of this phrase before.

    The only "must haves" are enough chairs for everyone and that you host enough food/beverages appropriate to the time of day (ie a full meal at lunch or dinner).

    Formerly martha1818

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  • I'm not sure what open house means.  Does it mean that you will have your reception and because it's an open house at the venue, just anyone can show up?  I don't understand... I need more clarification.
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  • "Open House" style events usually have a start time but no real end time, and people are expected to show up at any point. It's a "come by any time after 2pm" type of situation. So no RSVPs are required. The food is usually just appetizer type food, and/or buffet style food that people can just graze on throughout the day. There's no dinner-then-dessert, it's all just kind of out whenever, so people can stop by and have something to eat.

    My family does a lot of "open house" style parties as house warmings or summer get togethers. I've never heard of someone doing it not at someone's home, though. And it's always a very informal event. It's literally just a "drop by whenever, we'll be home and prepared to provide you with food, drinks, and company on this day". 


    I don't see how this would work for a wedding reception as a wedding reception has a given start time, and a venue I'm sure has a given stop time. Perhaps what the venue meant was to have a cocktails and appetizers type of reception, instead of a typical dinner?
  • I'm confused too. Since people go to the reception right after the ceremony, that sort of negates the "open house" aspect.

    Maybe the OP means a casual reception? H and I don't like being in the spotlight either, so we got a hotel suite that was large enough to hold everyone (43, including me, H, and the photographer). We had lots of heavy apps, fruit trays, and veggie trays. We also provided our own alcohol. We had music but no DJ or spotlight dances. We didn't do a cake cutting (we had cupcakes and a candy bar). It was very relaxed, like a party we'd have at our house, and people left whenever they felt like it.
  • atlastmrsgatlastmrsg member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2015
    Open house...fine for housewarming, new business, graduation, etc.

    But "sure, swing by.  We won't have enough food for a meal but you can grab a snack," say hi, and drop off your present...that's not really a wedding reception.  If whatever this open house thing is happens, it needs to be done in a way where there is consistently refreshed, adequate food and beverages.  Not a veggie tray, petit fours, and a present table.

    ETA: know your crowd, too.  If you have guests who are flying in or driving really far, make it worthwhile for them.  If I buy a plane ticket and hotel (by the time H comes too, this is all but guaranteed to be a $800-$1,000 trip) to come to your wedding, I'll be hoping for more than appetizers at an open house.  If I knew that going into it, unless you were really close family, I wouldn't go.
  • I think the wedding planner means having a casual cocktail party like reception? As long as you have a buffet, food stations or heavy apps of some kind I think it will be fine. Just make sure you have a place for everyone to sit if they want to. I did go to a wedding like this, although it occurred about a year after my friend's civil marriage ceremony (visa issues) so it was just a party with no first dance, no wedding gown, no gift table, no DJ etc. It was at a local restaurant and it was a lot of fun. We certainly got to mingle with the bride and groom more than we would have at a typical wedding reception.
  • Yeah-"open house" is kind of a confusing term. A "drop-in" reception would be really weird, I think. But if you don't want the fuss, you don't have to have a set meal time where everyone gets served or goes to the buffet at once. But you still should serve them a meal and drinks a go talk to each guest. I don't like the idea of not inviting everyone to the ceremony either, unless its an EXTREMELY small ceremony. My cousin is trying to do this by making a large gap between ceremony and reception and I think it's just kind of rude. My FH is in the bridal party so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do between the two.
  • I've been to quite a few open house parties. They are always in someone's home and are always pretty informal. People come by any time after, say, 3pm and then stay as late and long as they wish. I'm really not sure how this would work for a wedding reception, considering that you have to give a head count to your venue and that venues set pretty definite start and end times to events. 

    If you don't want to do a grand entrance or spotlight dances and want to keep your reception on the casual side, that is what you should do. But I don't think having an "open house" reception is the solution.
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  • Sheesh! Thank you for the warm welcome to these forums. Probably would be a very small ceremony that would not include all reception guests. Other more open-minded folks?
    The heck are you on about?
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  • Sheesh! Thank you for the warm welcome to these forums. Probably would be a very small ceremony that would not include all reception guests. Other more open-minded folks?

    You need to get more information from the source of this suggestion. And have a margarita. And here's your warm welcome.
  • I don't really know how this would work properly for a wedding. I agree that you need to get more information from the venue. As long as you have enough food, drinks and seats for people, it wouldn't be a problem. But it kind of seems like an organizational nightmare, to be honest. 
  • I think your wedding planner is confusing the term "open house" with "cocktail style reception."  An open house is not appropriate for a wedding reception.  People will be coming to your ceremony and then immediately attending your reception.  They certainly wouldn't be going to the ceremony and then leave to go home only to come back to your reception whenever they felt like it.  That really wouldn't free up peoples days but rather take up their entire day.

    A "cocktail style reception" however would work.  Depending on when your ceremony takes place will determine the amount of and what type of appetizers you serve.  But with this type of reception you don't need the typical round table setup.  You could do more lounge style seating with small cafe tables and high top tables included.  Of course you need to make sure you have enough seating for all of your guests and ample places for them to put down their plates, drinks and other personal items.

    But no matter what style reception you choose you don't have to do the "traditional" things such as spotlight dances and cake cutting and what not.  But you will be the center of attention that day. That is just how it goes since that entire day is revolved around you and your FI getting married.

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