Just... ugh

princessleia22 · January 2015

Wow... I would flat out tell her that you had to limit your guest list and therefore are not inviting any coworkers. Unfortunately politeness and subtly don't work on some people.

vulpiepop · January 2015

Ugh, I've had a few people like this but not nearly as crazy. They always seem to be those people you're not very close to.

Tell her she's not invited and make it clear so she can't reason her way around it. From what I experienced, bean-dipping doesn't work on some people and saying "we have a small guest list and couldn't invite everyone" only serves to get the response of "but I better be on the guestlist" or in your case probably "but I better be invited".

You may lose her as a "friend" but obviously that's not a big loss.

loveislouder · January 2015

It pisses me off that as soon as you're engaged people start acting all buddy buddy like you've been best friends for YEARS. Like, eff off. I haven't talked to you in 5 years.

KatieinBkln · January 2015

loveislouder said:

It pisses me off that as soon as you're engaged people start acting all buddy buddy like you've been best friends for YEARS. Like, eff off. I haven't talked to you in 5 years.

Right? Like, is it that hard for you to finagle free drinks for yourself? I can hardly spit without finding some kind of open bar networking thing, and even if you live in a small town without such delights, it's called a bar and a push-up bra.

novella1186 · January 2015

KatieinBkln said:

loveislouder said:

It pisses me off that as soon as you're engaged people start acting all buddy buddy like you've been best friends for YEARS. Like, eff off. I haven't talked to you in 5 years.

Right? Like, is it that hard for you to finagle free drinks for yourself? I can hardly spit without finding some kind of open bar networking thing, and even if you live in a small town without such delights, it's called a bar and a push-up bra.

Seriously, if I were her I wouldn't want to be invited anyway. Because I wouldn't know a single person there. And it's out of town. And I feel like it's super awkward to share in really special/important events with someone you hardly know. But that's just me.

climbingsingle · January 2015

I really don't understand people like this. I had someone ask if they were going to be invited, and it was someone I hadn't spoken to or hung out with in YEARS.

I think you should just straight up tell her, "I'm sorry, but no, you are not invited." And then say nothing else.

danamw · January 2015

I think Jessica is being snotty on purpose, to make you feel uncomfortable. Perhaps she doesn't like you. She seems to be wanting to make you cringe. She is needling you. Some people like doing that.

That, and/or she thinks weddings are a great place to meet guys.

Of course you aren't inviting her. Make her a minor annoyance, bean dip when you can, and if you get a good chance, and no one is around, tell her no one from work is coming.

mrsdee15 · January 2015

What possesses some people to go all BSC when a wedding is coming up? I have a crazy neighbor (long backstory I won't get into here) who does this same thing even though I refuse to speak to her beyond saying "hi" in response because of how she treated my mother. It's nuts. Your coworker sounds extra crazy. She should hang out with my neighbor. Together, alone in a room. With no windows or doors.

ETA: I also agree that maybe just telling her that she's not invited - even if it means saying that no coworkers are invited as you're having a small wedding - would be a good idea. You're being polite, and she is showing her BSC-ness.

lovegood90 · January 2015

Does she know your wedding date? If she doesn't and ends up asking you again after your wedding already happens, you should tell her "oh, I got married already!" and then come on here and tell us her reaction so we can laugh.

novella1186 · January 2015

lovegood90 said:

Does she know your wedding date? If she doesn't and ends up asking you again after your wedding already happens, you should tell her "oh, I got married already!" and then come on here and tell us her reaction so we can laugh.

I feel like I'll be on here telling you guys her reaction regardless. But I have a feeling it will not go over well with her. And I also have a feeling I'll either be super annoying, or trying so so hard not to laugh in her face.

mrsk616 · January 2015

i work at a car dealership and i had a porter who constantly would ask me if he was being invited to the wedding (he had a crush on me). he eventually stopped pestering me,.

Chipmunk415 · January 2015

Evil chipmunk wants to be there when you flat out tell her she's not on the list. To 1) give you wine and 2) use the rolled up newspaper to whap this girl on the nose while yelling NO!

novella1186 · January 2015

mrsk616 said:

i work at a car dealership and i had a porter who constantly would ask me if he was being invited to the wedding (he had a crush on me). he eventually stopped pestering me,.

That's just awkward!

BrandNewJ · January 2015

She sounds spoiled. I agree, it's time to break out the "we weren't able to invite everyone we wanted" card. It up to you if you want to tell her that she isn't even one of the people you wanted there.

jdluvr06 · January 2015

I would tell her she's not invited.

beethery · January 2015

BrandNewJ said:

She sounds spoiled. I agree, it's time to break out the "we weren't able to invite everyone we wanted" card. It up to you if you want to tell her that she isn't even one of the people you wanted there.

That might make the loon bitch think that Novella wanted to invite her.

Be up front with this girl. Tell her you weren't planning on inviting her. Guest list is small, and that's that. If she flips shit or tries to bring it up again, tell her you already explained it to her and that's all there is to say about it.

novella1186 · January 2015

beethery said:

BrandNewJ said:

She sounds spoiled. I agree, it's time to break out the "we weren't able to invite everyone we wanted" card. It up to you if you want to tell her that she isn't even one of the people you wanted there.

That might make the loon bitch think that Novella wanted to invite her.

Be up front with this girl. Tell her you weren't planning on inviting her. Guest list is small, and that's that. If she flips shit or tries to bring it up again, tell her you already explained it to her and that's all there is to say about it.

I wish I was good at being a bitch so I could just say "You're not invited. This isn't appropriate to talk about at work so if you have a problem with it you can call me. But don't call me." That was in my head earlier when she was bugging me and part of me was like "just say it!' but then most of me was like "nope don't say it, I'm a chicken and she'll flip out"

beethery · January 2015

novella1186 said:

beethery said:

BrandNewJ said:

She sounds spoiled. I agree, it's time to break out the "we weren't able to invite everyone we wanted" card. It up to you if you want to tell her that she isn't even one of the people you wanted there.

That might make the loon bitch think that Novella wanted to invite her.

Be up front with this girl. Tell her you weren't planning on inviting her. Guest list is small, and that's that. If she flips shit or tries to bring it up again, tell her you already explained it to her and that's all there is to say about it.

I wish I was good at being a bitch so I could just say "You're not invited. This isn't appropriate to talk about at work so if you have a problem with it you can call me. But don't call me." That was in my head earlier when she was bugging me and part of me was like "just say it!' but then most of me was like "nope don't say it, I'm a chicken and she'll flip out"

It'll save you the constant nagging horseshit. It's hard when you're a nice person, but if it shuts somebody down, it's worth it.

You don't have to go in-depth, you just have to tell her no. No is a complete sentence.

Embrace NO.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

Sounds like you're not inviting anyone from your office. I would just tell her that you are not inviting co-workers.

VulgarGirl · January 2015

Jessica, I'm not sure why you keep bringing this up, but let me clarify that I won't be inviting you to my wedding. I need you to drop this topic now.

That's what you say. It's firm but not mean. It's a little mean, but crazy people don't get things easily, you gotta be a little mean to them.

novella1186 · January 2015

I think she can tell I'm too nice, so she thinks she can just pester/threaten me till I give her an invite just to avoid any further issues. Unfortunately for her, even though I'm nice, I really fucking hate annoying rude people. So she's never gonna pester me into it.

MagicInk I was skimming through the course catalog and I'd like to enroll in your class on Quantum Bitchics

BrandNewJ · January 2015

beethery said:

BrandNewJ said:

She sounds spoiled. I agree, it's time to break out the "we weren't able to invite everyone we wanted" card. It up to you if you want to tell her that she isn't even one of the people you wanted there.

That might make the loon bitch think that Novella wanted to invite her.

Be up front with this girl. Tell her you weren't planning on inviting her. Guest list is small, and that's that. If she flips shit or tries to bring it up again, tell her you already explained it to her and that's all there is to say about it.

Youre totally right. I phrased it like that because I'm pretty sure Novella doesn't like confrontation or drama and that might be the best way for her to go about it if "hahaha fuck no you're not invited, you're crazy!" doesn't work. But yes, Jessica is probably ridiculous enough to think novella did actually want to invite her.

lc07 · January 2015

Does she go to your church?

novella1186 · January 2015

lc07 said:

Does she go to your church?

No... I'm an atheist Jew lol. No church for me.

arrippa · January 2015

novella1186 said:

lc07 said:

Does she go to your church?

No... I'm an atheist Jew lol. No church for me.

I could be wrong, but I think she is referring to Jashley. If not, move along. There is nothing to see here.

novella1186 · January 2015

arrippa said:

novella1186 said:

lc07 said:

Does she go to your church?

No... I'm an atheist Jew lol. No church for me.

I could be wrong, but I think she is referring to Jashley. If not, move along. There is nothing to see here.

Oh lol I missed something here. And now I'm just confused... so I'm going to slowly walk away....

mrsk616 · January 2015

novella1186 said:

mrsk616 said:

i work at a car dealership and i had a porter who constantly would ask me if he was being invited to the wedding (he had a crush on me). he eventually stopped pestering me,.

That's just awkward!

im not inviting anyone from work to the wedding and i kept telling him that. he eventually got the hint and stopped pestering me. havent seen him in over a month or heard from him. im good now no more pestering. i have one other that keeps asking what kind of cake we are going to have and what kind of bar we are having. he is a service advisor who has yelled at me for something he can easily fix himself. (whole other story) i told him that i wasnt inviting anyone from work also but he does this more jokingly than the porter did so i guess i just let it slide with him. but since my best friend quit a year ago and the weekend girl got let go no one has really pestered me about the wedding.

novella1186 · January 2015

mrsk616 said:

novella1186 said:

mrsk616 said:

i work at a car dealership and i had a porter who constantly would ask me if he was being invited to the wedding (he had a crush on me). he eventually stopped pestering me,.

That's just awkward!

im not inviting anyone from work to the wedding and i kept telling him that. he eventually got the hint and stopped pestering me. havent seen him in over a month or heard from him. im good now no more pestering. i have one other that keeps asking what kind of cake we are going to have and what kind of bar we are having. he is a service advisor who has yelled at me for something he can easily fix himself. (whole other story) i told him that i wasnt inviting anyone from work also but he does this more jokingly than the porter did so i guess i just let it slide with him. but since my best friend quit a year ago and the weekend girl got let go no one has really pestered me about the wedding.

Good, I'm glad you're being left alone now. There's some older ladies in my office who have asked me some general questions (like which city I'm getting married in) mostly because they love to know everything about everyone, especially if it's something positive/fun. So I don't mind that so much, and they've only brought it up maybe twice in the past year. The only one who's been really out of line is Jessica! And hopefully once I tell her she's definitely not invited, she'll let it go. But we'll see...

jenna8984 · January 2015

So....did you tell her yet? Did her head explode into a goopy mess all over your desk and shoes?

novella1186 · January 2015

jenna8984 said:

So....did you tell her yet? Did her head explode into a goopy mess all over your desk and shoes?

lol I haven't. I've been avoiding her today because between knotting and doing my actual work I'm busy :P But also I can't decide if I should just bring it up and be like "Hey just FYI you're not invited" or if I should wait till she brings it up again and be like "oh yeah by the way you're totally not invited to that." Tough choice because with my parents I learned NOT to ever bring up wedding stuff and that made things way more peaceful for me....

Just... ugh

Re: Just... ugh

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