Wedding Woes

Help! I wasn't planning on having my sister in my wedding but...

I need some guidance. I have two sisters who are close in age to myself. Sister #1 I speak to frequently, has been a big supporter of me and we are close. Sister #2 and I don't talk even half as much, are historically not as close and she recently won a beauty title that will require a year's worth of time and travel including the entire time leading up to and during my wedding. So after I got engaged I asked sister #1, but not sister #2 to be a bridesmaid.

Because of our relationship, her upcoming schedule and almost complete lack of communication, I didn't realize sister #2 would care let alone be horribly upset, which she now is. Have I royally blown the first wedding decision I made? Is there any way to remedy this so grudges aren't held?

I know the natural answer would be to ask her now to be in it, but that would hardly come off as genuine. Also the wedding will have approximately 35 guests so having an equally small bridal party seems important to me. 

Any advice about this would be appreciated. 

Re: Help! I wasn't planning on having my sister in my wedding but...

  • edited January 2015
    How about telling her what you told us? You're sorry that you assumed she would be too busy to be in your wedding, but why doesn't she check with the pageant officials and let you know if she can manage it.
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  • It's always your choice to choose your own bridal party.  Just realize that choices have consequences.  You don't say whether you have only 2 sisters or if you just have 2 sisters who are close to your age and there are more sisters.  If you have only 2 sisters total, it seems somewhat insensitive to include only one as a bridesmaid, even if you feel you aren't close.  If you now want to include her, you could tell her part of what you explained above.  You didn't want to add to her already full year of commitments by asking her to be in the wedding party.  
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  • IMO - having done the year of travel around here there and yonder a commodity queen position when I was younger..  She is hopefully going to take off to attend your wedding, I don't see the issue with the travel and the title at this point.  I think you're projecting your opinion of the position onto her instead of asking her.  Secondary to that, providing she's your second sister and no additional ones, yea, go with both but keep your expectations in check for how much she'll be able to do if it really does end up being a only a few days at home position.

    I agree with the PP that you should just tell her what you told us.  Then realize that she's your sister whether you're on the phone to eachother daily at this point in your life or not...  Unless there's some giant elephant in the room about your relationship go with two BM's...

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