Bridal Shower Huh?

Re: Bridal Shower Huh?

• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  Nope, same registry... those gifts just get given to you even though they're for both of you, because obviously a man can't be trusted with a frying pan. /sarcasm

  
  

  Have her invite your close friends, aunts, cousins... generally limited to those of the female persuasion, but that's your call if you have males in mind who would enjoy that sort of thing.

  
  

  ETA pull your invite list from those already being invited to the wedding. Not all who are invited to the wedding need to be invited to the shower, but you can't invite anyone to the shower who isn't invited to the wedding.

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• STARMOON44 member

  

  January 2015

  It's not hard. You invite whomever you would like after checking with the hostess regarding numbers. Ordinarily family and close friends. They give you gifts, ordinarily from your one registry. You open them. You write thank you notes. You and your fiancé use those gifts after you are married.

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  January 2015

  Ok, first breathe.

  
  

  Second, you invite whoever you want to your bridal shower as long as they are also invited to your wedding.  Typically this includes your close friends and family members.

  
  

  IMO, the point of a shower in today's world is just a reason for people to get together and celebrate the upcoming wedding of the bride and give her some gifts that her and her FI could use.  Don't over think it.

  
  

  If you have a registry already created you don't need to create another one.

  
  

  As for what goes on at your bridal shower, that is up to the host.  But if you absolutely detest games then feel free to tell your FMIL that.  No point in her planning games if you can't stand them.

  
  

  And people will come to your shower and get you a gift because they want to.  Just like your wedding invite, a shower invite is not a subpoena, just an offer to come to a party.  If people don't want to come then they will decline.

  
  

  Finally, if you are uncomfortable with the idea of a bridal shower at all you most certainly can decline the offer from your FMIL.

  
  

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• blabla89 member

  

  January 2015

  Take a deep breath. If you really don't want to have a bridal shower, you can gracefully decline and that's okay. When the hostess says "bridal shower" she probably means women only, but you could ask about having a co-ed shower if that's what you'd prefer.
  
  The point of a shower is for guests to give gifts, and you sit there and open them. You can also do fun things like have drinks and snacks, play games, etc. so it isn't only opening gifts. You don't need a separate registry, and the gifts are usually intended for both you and your FI (unless it's something that's obviously feminine or personal to you). Do make sure that your registry has items at a variety of different price points, and that there are enough items for people to choose from.
  
  As for who to invite, you should only invite people who will definitely be invited to the wedding. Check with your hostess to find out how many people she has in mind.
  

  

  
  
  

  
  

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• MobKaz member

  

  January 2015

  Ask your mother in law what number of guests she is comfortable hosting.  You may also want to ask her to clarify her intention.  Some people use wedding and bridal shower interchangeably.  However, in some areas, a bridal shower can mean a more personal shower for the bride where the gifts are meant to be more intimate, and specific to the bride.  If that is the case, and it would make you uncomfortable, I would politely decline. 
  
  You do not need to invite every woman on your guest list.  We typically invite our closest friends and family to showers. 
  
  Most often, guests will purchase gifts off the registry.  It is the point of creating the registry.  The gifts are meant to help a couple start their household with basic necessities.  For couples who have lived on their own for a while, they might register for upgrades of things they purchased years ago on a more meager budget.  The gifts registered are typically for items the B & G can use as a couple, such as small appliances, dishes, linens, items of decor, etc.  I am OK with things such as board games, or even small furniture items.  Things that are not OK are clothing items, toiletries, or really big ticket items. 
  
  Invitations to such events are not mandates.  Most of the time a guest will attend because they want to attend.  I personally enjoy selecting a gift for someone and watching them open it, since I know it will be something they want and will enjoy. 
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  January 2015

  Ask how many people she can host, then come up with a guest list of close friends and family. Make sure everyone on it is invited to the wedding.

  
  

  When you're at the shower, make an effort to greet and talk to everyone. When you open gifts, don't just rush through it. Take time to open each one, ooo and ahhh, make eye contact with the giver and thank them verbally. Then move along. Have someone write down what you got from each person so you can write TY notes. As people leave thank them for coming and that you look forward to seeing them at the wedding.

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• amelisha member

  

  January 2015

  If the idea strikes you as a bit absurd (as it seems to) you can absolutely decline graciously. Tell her how much you appreciate her offer and her support, especially with your mother gone, but that you would prefer not to have a shower.

  
  

  
  

  
  

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