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Not Engaged Yet
Mini vent - Ready to start planning
FI and I picked a date about two months ago. But he is caught up with the whole "I haven't bought a ring and proposed" thing, so doesn't want to do any planning. I'm a full time student, work almost full time during semesters (and full time during breaks) in IT and have two active kids to shuttle around. This semester ends in 10 days, and I will have 2 months without classes. I'm returning to classes 7/17 and will have only 1 week without classes between then and the wedding.
Point to this... I'm getting really stressed that there's not going to be enough time to plan everything. I can't talk to my girlfriends about this because we aren't telling anyone dates yet - again the ring thing. Granted, this is not a first marriage for either of us, so we are going small and simple. But I've never planned a wedding before because I went JOP route the first time around so MANY years ago.
So I'm reading the boards, seeing the ideas and pocketing them, hoping it all falls into place quickly and easily once we're able to move forward with planning. Thanks for the momment to vent!!
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Mini vent - Ready to start planning
I survived, planned a lovely wedding with 100 guests in under 8 months, and I'm very happy with how it turned out. Yes, I could have used that extra 3 months to plan without anything else going on... but it gets overwhelming very quickly anyway. I'd have probably driven us both crazy with wedding talk.
Just relax. You'll be fine. Many women here have planned weddings in even shorter time than I did. You don't need to worry about it. Get engaged, then take a look at your date and see if it still works. The cart goes AFTER the horse (the date comes AFTER the engagement).
Just sit back and enjoy your relationship. Time really does fly. Appreciate the time you have left before wedding planning takes over and you're married in the blink of an eye.
Married to my best friend, making our way together through this crazy, mixed-up thing we call life.
[QUOTE] Get engaged, then take a look at your date and see if it still works. The cart goes AFTER the horse (the date comes AFTER the engagement). Just sit back and enjoy your relationship. Time really does fly. Appreciate the time you have left before wedding planning takes over and you're married in the blink of an eye.
Posted by SassyFlats[/QUOTE]
THIS! You haven't told anyone about the date so you have zero reason to stick to the date you and your BF (because he obviously doesn't consider you engaged) if you feel too stressed planning a wedding in about 2 months. For right now just relax and put the wedding out of your mind.
You might want to have a heart to heart with him about how much time you think you need to plan a wedding. Because my family is scattered across the country I need 6-12 months for my mom to be able to attend, so I told BF that if he wants to get married in a certain time frame to keep that in mind. I planned my first wedding in 20 days and we didn't do a courthouse wedding so a wedding can be put together in a short amount of time.
[QUOTE]Exactly what Bethsmiles said. If you haven't told anyone the date and don't have anything resereved there is no reason you can't change the date if you feel that you need more time to plan the wedding. You might want to have a heart to heart with him about how much time you think you need to plan a wedding. Because my family is scattered across the country I need 6-12 months for my mom to be able to attend, so I told BF that if he wants to get married in a certain time frame to keep that in mind. <strong> I planned my first wedding in 20 days and we didn't do a courthouse wedding so a wedding can be put together in a short amount of time.</strong>
Posted by jdrose5[/QUOTE]
<div>20 days, WOW! I hope it doesn't come down to that, but if it does, we'll manage. </div><div>
</div><div>As for the date - My brother (active duty Navy) will be stateside for one month, September. He's stationed outside of the US, and will continue to be for quiet some time. This is why we are looking at September, as we both want him there.</div>
[QUOTE] I've suggested pushing it out to later or to an undetermined date and he doesn't want that at all.
Posted by mmhepb[/QUOTE]
Someone needs to tell your dude that sh!t happens and dates DO change. Even after you get engaged, sometimes, stuff just doesn't go as planned. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-innocent.gif" border="0" alt="Innocent" title="Innocent" />
Edit to respond to your response: Even with the situation regarding your brother, I stand by the above statement that sh!t does, indeed, happen and life could certainly throw a wrench in your very well-intended plan.
Married to my best friend, making our way together through this crazy, mixed-up thing we call life.
If you feel the need to have a bunch of time to plan, then move the date back. Or if you don't care if you don't have much time to plan (POST ENGAGEMENT), then just be content with that. Enjoy your relationship. Forever started when you two began dating. Enjoy where you are now. Pre-planning, in my opinion, just wrecks that amazing last bit of time you're dating.
[QUOTE]Insteresting. Your 'bio' thing says, "BF said we should really start looking at dates. We began by looking at what was coming up. His apartment lease ending, my school activities, and other special family days we would want to avoid. All that determined, we decided that late summer/early fall would be the time that we liked best of the times available. Then came narrowing down to a weekend, and I loved the quirkiness of <strong>9/10/11</strong>, so we then had a date" So... I see no reason why you can't move the date. If you feel the need to have a bunch of time to plan, then move the date back. Or if you don't care if you don't have much time to plan (POST ENGAGEMENT), then just be content with that. Enjoy your relationship. Forever started when you two began dating. Enjoy where you are now. Pre-planning, in my opinion, just wrecks that amazing last bit of time you're dating.
Posted by bourgehm[/QUOTE]
Is that your date? Because then I would say you are probably screwed no matter when he proposes at this point. Dates like that are super popular and everything books up fast.
[QUOTE]oh, ps: I saw on your bio thing that you're christian. Join us on the Christian board if you want. :)
Posted by bourgehm[/QUOTE]
<div>Yes, I've been reading over there also. He and I are both Christians, That is what was missing in my first marriage. I'm blessed that God has given me a second chance in love after so many years of heartache and loneliness.</div>