Wedding Etiquette Forum

Friend is getting married - not inviting SO?

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Re: Friend is getting married - not inviting SO?

  • You dodged a bullet, methinks.

    I'd be tempted to scratch her name off your own guest list while still inviting her FI, just to see how fast she'd go up in flames. But because that's just stooping to her level of amazing rudeness, I'd have nothing to do with her anymore.

    Maybe you, your SO, and the other true friends who declined can have a nice special time together.
  • This thread makes me happy. OP, you're a hero for sticking up for yourself and standing your ground.

    Your ex-friend is a real C-word.
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • UPDATE:

    She phoned me, literally half an hour ago, saying that because of me a couple of our mutual friends have declined her invitation over what I did, that my OH is invited and will I please come because "it's all being blown up out of proportion?!"

    I straight up said no, thank you though and wouldn't budge.  And she then guilt trips me over it.  I hung up to her whining and crying over how her wedding was ruined "because of me!"

    Thank you for your support, I'm glad I finally saw her for what she was, and I don't need people like that in my life. 
    YES!  This is awesome!!!!



    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • rcher920 said:
    OMG OP you are my hero. I am also way too nice and accommodating to my "friends", and you standing your ground like that is AWESOME. 

    Your mutual friends inquiring about the situation and even declining because they see what a crazyperson your ex-friend has become is ALSO AWESOME. I was really afraid people might not realize the extent of the situation (I mean, really, how many times does one have an in-depth discussion about invitation art? Although I'm sure it was beautiful and special! It's just not typical dinner conversation.)

    YAAAYYYYY! I love it when zillas get read.



    ETA: I literally cannot believe the 12yo gets a +1 and you do not. Still can't believe it.
    This means to be told off, right?  Reading, getting read. . . the only reason I can kinda guess what any of it means if because I have been watching The Real Housewives of ATL.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • edited June 2015
  • This means to be told off, right?  Reading, getting read. . . the only reason I can kinda guess what any of it means if because I have been watching The Real Housewives of ATL.
    Short for getting read the riot act?
    Oooh that makes sense!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • This means to be told off, right?  Reading, getting read. . . the only reason I can kinda guess what any of it means if because I have been watching The Real Housewives of ATL.
    Short for getting read the riot act?
    Oooh that makes sense!
    I would have thought it was like getting schooled. Like, "oh she got schooled!" As in someone taught someone a lesson.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • rcher920 said:
    OMG OP you are my hero. I am also way too nice and accommodating to my "friends", and you standing your ground like that is AWESOME. 

    Your mutual friends inquiring about the situation and even declining because they see what a crazyperson your ex-friend has become is ALSO AWESOME. I was really afraid people might not realize the extent of the situation (I mean, really, how many times does one have an in-depth discussion about invitation art? Although I'm sure it was beautiful and special! It's just not typical dinner conversation.)

    YAAAYYYYY! I love it when zillas get read.



    ETA: I literally cannot believe the 12yo gets a +1 and you do not. Still can't believe it.
    1st bolded: Yeah, they're a lovely bunch.  It'll be interesting what happens after the wedding's over!

    2nd bolded: Yeah, weird conversations abound! 

    Me: "what are you after?"
    Her: "classic, but modern"
    Me: "Uh, alright then..." *runs with it*
    I still love that she was upset with you for "not being excited enough for her" but then you spent probably HOURS providing skilled labor for her for free!
  • slothiegalslothiegal member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2015
    rcher920 said:
    OMG OP you are my hero. I am also way too nice and accommodating to my "friends", and you standing your ground like that is AWESOME. 

    Your mutual friends inquiring about the situation and even declining because they see what a crazyperson your ex-friend has become is ALSO AWESOME. I was really afraid people might not realize the extent of the situation (I mean, really, how many times does one have an in-depth discussion about invitation art? Although I'm sure it was beautiful and special! It's just not typical dinner conversation.)

    YAAAYYYYY! I love it when zillas get read.



    ETA: I literally cannot believe the 12yo gets a +1 and you do not. Still can't believe it.
    This means to be told off, right?  Reading, getting read. . . the only reason I can kinda guess what any of it means if because I have been watching The Real Housewives of ATL.


    Click above.  Then go watch "Paris is Burning" ASAP.  You can thank me later.
    Anniversary

    image
  • This means to be told off, right?  Reading, getting read. . . the only reason I can kinda guess what any of it means if because I have been watching The Real Housewives of ATL.
    Short for getting read the riot act?
    Oooh that makes sense!
    We used to say, "read her beads," as in "Someone needs to read you your beads," or "I'm so pissed off, I'm going over there and read her beads." Same definition, to tell someone off. It was from the southern side of the family, so I just assumed it was a southern thing, or maybe a southern Catholic thing. No idea, really. 

    I just am shocked by this whole thread. I would have read that girl's beads.
  • I just texted her again (the first time was last night) just now, and said, "hiya, I'm really sorry but I won't be able to make it.  I hope everything goes really well, have a fabulous day."

    I got back, "is this all over your BF?" (He's not a BF.  He's a partner.  A SO.  In my circle BF's are for dating and/or high-schoolers.  Calling a SO a BF is a very subtle slight on your relationship, you know, it's immature, childish, etc.  No offence meant to anyone who calls their SO their BF, I just don't like it, and it irked me)

    I replied, "I'd love to come and support you, and, if the offer is still there, we [the church they're getting married in has plenty of room, so that's not an issue] would be glad to attend and support you at your ceremony.  However the reception we will be unable to attend, but thank you for the invitation."

    I think that's fairly polite, right?  Her reply?

    "Well, are you still helping me with (insert artsy projects here) or not? I can't believe you're causing this much fuss over your BF!"  I have not replied.  What do I say?! I want to be the mature one here.
    And that Ladies and Gentlemen is how you make your friends feel used. Ouch, OP, that bride has gutsy to still want your help after insulting your SO and whining about how she doesn't want him at her (not sure how much it's the groom's wedding) wedding WHILE running with those invitations YOU made. Whew, CUH-RAYYYY-ZEEEE! Where does this sense of entitlement come from?
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  • And that Ladies and Gentlemen is how you make your friends feel used. Ouch, OP, that bride has gutsy to still want your help after insulting your SO and whining about how she doesn't want him at her (not sure how much it's the groom's wedding) wedding WHILE running with those invitations YOU made. Whew, CUH-RAYYYY-ZEEEE! Where does this sense of entitlement come from?
    I believe it comes from being told by an industry "it's your day, everything's about you you you, HAVE EVERYTHING YOU WANT!" 

    Also, she can be a spoilt brat sometimes.
  • @emmiejayne you are my hero. Thank you for standing up for yourself! My jaw is on the floor at the moment. I can't believe someone could be this zilla.

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  • @emmiejayne you are my hero. Thank you for standing up for yourself! My jaw is on the floor at the moment. I can't believe someone could be this zilla.
    Thank you :)
  • @emmiejayne I just wanted to add to what everyone else has said; that you have done a great job standing up for yourself! I can't believe the bride could be so horrible and not realize how wrong she is! Good job handling it all, you handled it with a lot of class. I think my crazy would have come out after her making the rude comment about your FI.

    You definitely dodged a bullet! :)

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  • bb2016 said:
    @emmiejayne I just wanted to add to what everyone else has said; that you have done a great job standing up for yourself! I can't believe the bride could be so horrible and not realize how wrong she is! Good job handling it all, you handled it with a lot of class. I think my crazy would have come out after her making the rude comment about your FI.

    You definitely dodged a bullet! :)
    I was pissed, but I've learnt to think before I speak.  It's the 'zilla mentality.  Fuckin' weird.  I'm not being like that!
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