I've discussed this with my mom several times and while each time I explain my reasons again, she agrees with me, and then a couple weeks go by and she calls to tell me someone else is hurt I'm not inviting them and she asks if I'll reconsider.
I don't want to invite them because they are really bad people. While they haven't been physically abusive (to my knowledge) we have proof that they have stolen from my grandmother on multiple occasions. We also know that while she lived near them (she has recently moved in with one of my other aunts) that they neglected her, rarely checking to see how she was, and only taking her out of her house to go to the doctor if she had an appointment and to get groceries once or twice a month depending on if they needed them.
As if that stuff wasn't bad enough, my uncle is just a rude obnoxious man. He never stops talking (mostly just talking about himself in his glory days) and when I say never I mean never. He'll make whatever comments he wants through the ceremony and reception and will just ruin the wedding. Also he had the nerve to say to me "I can't wait for your wedding, you know I wouldn't even go but since I heard your mom say it's in a castle I won't miss it." Which most people might take as a joke except he was dead serious and this was before anything about the invite list had come out.
Anyways my mom just keeps saying that I need to forgive and that I'm hurting the family who is finally healing since my grandma moved in with my other aunt. I guess since my grandmother is no longer being stolen from and neglected the rest of the family has just decided to forget that my aunt and uncle are just terrible people. I can't accept that and I honestly think that they will ruin my wedding if they are there. I don't want to have to have this conversation every couple of weeks until my wedding, it is stressful and emotional for me too, so how do I get my mom and all the other people who are hurt that I am excluding them off my case for good?