I so need to vent this morning

debbeau · January 2015

My H came home last night and said his sister called on his way home and she is coming to visit tomorrow for a week. I work full time, have a 13 year old who needs a little extra attention right now and a messy house. Not dirty, just messy. This sister goes thru the medicine cabinet asks questions about every medication anyone is taking and why (I have a serious stomach issue I would rather not talk about especially in front of my daughter). She will go thru my desk and look thru financial documents and bills and make remarks. I have tried to put away personal things every time she visits but with this late notice it will be hard. She will also expect to be entertained with shows, museums etc. If we say anything to her she will be telling every family member how badly she was treated. Sorry this is so long but I am majorly stressed right now.

ohmrs2014 · January 2015

I think your husband needs to have a chat with his sister and explain to her how inappropriate all of this.

mlg78 · January 2015

Yep, your husband needs to step in and speak up for his family. I'd be pissed he let her spring this week long last minute trip on you like this.

cupcait927 · January 2015

I love my SIL dearly and even I would be pissed if my H let her come and stay last minute for a week. I agree with PPs, he needs to have a discussion with her and let her know her plans are not okay.

mrsk616 · January 2015

he needs to have a talk with his sister, my sister did the same thing and my mom and i finally told her its rude and that she doesnt see us going through her stuff. she tried going through my phone soon after the talk and her oldest son yelled at her and said mom stop being nosey and she finally stopped.

as for springing the week out of no where on you that is also rude. he should have discussed it with you before saying yes.

debbeau · January 2015

He has talked to her many times. He will get right in her face and take stuff out of her hands. She just does not give a shit. She thinks the world loves her and it is cute when she does this stuff. They get into it every visit. I don't want to cause too much trouble because 2 of his sisters died in the last 10 years. I would rather have my mom visit!

mlg78 · January 2015

"I'm sorry, sister, but we don't feel comfortable with you staying in our home. If you'd like to stay at a hotel, we'd love to have you over for dinner."

mikenberger · January 2015

Then she's no longer allowed in the house. You'll meet her for dinner or something else, but NOPE. No longer she can come into the house.

emmaaa · January 2015

Yeah, the first time I caught someone looking through my stuff, I don't care if it was my own sister or H's, I would tell them they are no longer welcome until they learn boundaries.

LakeR2014 · January 2015

mlg78 said:

"I'm sorry, sister, but we don't feel comfortable with you staying in our home. If you'd like to stay at a hotel, we'd love to have you over for dinner."

THIS. She thinks its cute because there's no consequences. I understand that he's had to deal with the tragedy of loosing two sisters in ten years, but that does not excuse allowing someone to disrespect you and/or your house and family because they think its 'cute.' She needs to learn boundaries and until your husband and you agree to set them and keep to them, you're just going to have to deal.

ohmrs2014 · January 2015

I agree with PP. If your husband has talked to her and she doesn't get it, then she should no longer be allowed in the house.

novella1186 · January 2015

Gross. I wouldn't want her in my house. And I don't get why your H agreed to let her visit. I agree with PPs: boundaries!!!! She needs consequences for acting like a nosy asshole. I would not be able to tolerate someone rifling through my stuff like that. That is so out of line! You shouldn't have to hide your own stuff in your own house just to keep someone from digging through it. Nope nope nope.

HaileyDancingbear · January 2015

Tell that asshole to get a hotel room. Because not only is all the stuff you mentioned so far out of line I don't even know what the fuck is wrong with her, but a single day is NOT enough notice to give someone when you plan on staying in their house for a fucking week.

larrygaga · January 2015

Okay here is an alternative idea. You set up a bunch of fake paperwork and put rock candy or sugar or something in your medicine bottles. Make it look like you deal and use.

wandajune6 · January 2015

I'd warn her then make her leave.

I see this going one of two ways: warn her the moment that she enters the house that if she disrespects you by going through your stuff, you'll ask her to leave. Or wait until she does it the first time and tell her that if you catch her again, she will be asked to leave.

Then do it.

I'd also consider putting marbles in the medicine cabinet so you hear her when she opens the door. But that might be needlessly petty.

banana468 · January 2015

If someone pulled that repeatedly then she wouldn't be welcome to stay in my house. And frankly, if DH didn't put a stop to it then he wouldn't be either.

chibiyui · January 2015

Is it to late to order on of those snake in can things?

I'm sorry, but that's fucked up. Either make her get a hotel room or start Googleing pranks.

Maggie0829 · January 2015

This is beyond fucked up. Her ass would not be staying in my house. And who the hell just says they are coming for a week long visit the day before? This girl needs a good swift kick in the ass.

Maggie0829 · January 2015

chibiyui said:

Is it to late to order on of those snake in can things? I'm sorry, but that's fucked up. Either make her get a hotel room or start Googleing pranks.

Put her hand in warm water while she sleeps.

Hide one or two mouse traps (set and ready) under her sheets.

Switch out the sugar with salt for her morning coffee.

Hair dye in the shampoo bottle.

OP, make it so unbearable for her to be there she will never want to come back.

banana468 · January 2015

Maggie0829 said:

chibiyui said:

Is it to late to order on of those snake in can things? I'm sorry, but that's fucked up. Either make her get a hotel room or start Googleing pranks.

Put her hand in warm water while she sleeps.

Hide one or two mouse traps (set and ready) under her sheets.

Switch out the sugar with salt for her morning coffee.

Hair dye in the shampoo bottle.

OP, make it so unbearable for her to be there she will never want to come back.

Put laxatives in every medicine bottle she finds. In fact, mix some Miralax in with her sugar!

I'd be apeshit if someone did that to me. Absolutely fit to be tied screaming like a Banshee Guano Loco.

Inkdancer · January 2015

Oh fuck that. There is no way in hell I'd let anybody stay with me with one day's notice, let alone somebody who doesn't grasp the concept of privacy.

You need to have a major conversation with your husband about who is allowed in your house and when.

I am totally behind some innocent pranks (marbles in the medicine cabinet, springy snakes in your desk drawers, etc.)

HaileyDancingbear · January 2015

banana468 said:

Maggie0829 said:

chibiyui said:

Is it to late to order on of those snake in can things? I'm sorry, but that's fucked up. Either make her get a hotel room or start Googleing pranks.

Put her hand in warm water while she sleeps.

Hide one or two mouse traps (set and ready) under her sheets.

Switch out the sugar with salt for her morning coffee.

Hair dye in the shampoo bottle.

OP, make it so unbearable for her to be there she will never want to come back.

Put laxatives in every medicine bottle she finds. In fact, mix some Miralax in with her sugar!

I'd be apeshit if someone did that to me. Absolutely fit to be tied screaming like a Banshee Guano Loco.

Look up the definitions to the phrases "Invasion of privacy" "Busybody" and "Obnoxious" and print like 10 copies of each definition. Leave at least one copy of each in the medicine cabinet, and scatter the rest throughout your financial documents.

Then tell her to go fuck herself.

levioosa · January 2015

Boundaries are your friend. Your H needs to talk to her and let her know how completely unacceptable this is. Loss does not excuse you from being an asshole. She has a lot of nerve not only going through your things, but then commenting on them?! She is the worst spy ever. If she can't behave, then she can stay in a hotel.

SO's oldest sister does this. She'll go into our room and rifle through our drawers. She does this to everyone in the house. So whenever she comes to visit I lock our room. The other day she wanted to get into our room because "she needed something," and when I gave her a blank stare and refused she got extremely butt hurt and left. Oops. Excuse me while I give zero fucks.

beethery · January 2015

levioosa said:

Boundaries are your friend. Your H needs to talk to her and let her know how completely unacceptable this is. Loss does not excuse you from being an asshole. She has a lot of nerve not only going through your things, but then commenting on them?! She is the worst spy ever. If she can't behave, then she can stay in a hotel.

SO's oldest sister does this. She'll go into our room and rifle through our drawers. She does this to everyone in the house. So whenever she comes to visit I lock our room. The other day she wanted to get into our room because "she needed something," and when I gave her a blank stare and refused she got extremely butt hurt and left. Oops. Excuse me while I give zero fucks.

THE FUCK DID SHE NEED?

I would have kicked her ass out right then. Holy shit.

mikenberger · January 2015

beethery said:

levioosa said:

Boundaries are your friend. Your H needs to talk to her and let her know how completely unacceptable this is. Loss does not excuse you from being an asshole. She has a lot of nerve not only going through your things, but then commenting on them?! She is the worst spy ever. If she can't behave, then she can stay in a hotel.

SO's oldest sister does this. She'll go into our room and rifle through our drawers. She does this to everyone in the house. So whenever she comes to visit I lock our room. The other day she wanted to get into our room because "she needed something," and when I gave her a blank stare and refused she got extremely butt hurt and left. Oops. Excuse me while I give zero fucks.

THE FUCK DID SHE NEED?

I would have kicked her ass out right then. Holy shit.

WTF? I've got some weirdos in my family, but nobody goes through my bedroom drawers. Seriously. I'd tase a bitch.

BrandNewJ · January 2015

She needs to get the hell out of your house. Your medicine? Your financial records? Holy shit, who does she think she is? Boundaries are important and once she learns some she can come back to your house, but not until then.

This next week, pranks are your friend. They'll keep you sane

levioosa · January 2015

beethery said:

levioosa said:

Boundaries are your friend. Your H needs to talk to her and let her know how completely unacceptable this is. Loss does not excuse you from being an asshole. She has a lot of nerve not only going through your things, but then commenting on them?! She is the worst spy ever. If she can't behave, then she can stay in a hotel.

SO's oldest sister does this. She'll go into our room and rifle through our drawers. She does this to everyone in the house. So whenever she comes to visit I lock our room. The other day she wanted to get into our room because "she needed something," and when I gave her a blank stare and refused she got extremely butt hurt and left. Oops. Excuse me while I give zero fucks.

THE FUCK DID SHE NEED?

I would have kicked her ass out right then. Holy shit.

I think she needed a piece of paper or scissors or some bullshit. It's always something "urgent." Don't rifle through my bedside drawers, and especially don't be surprised at what you might find when you stick your nose where it doesn't belong.

mrsk616 · January 2015

my one sister would go through my drawers and what not. she wont be aloud over to the new house especially if she going if she going to do that.

prank her thats the only way she will learn she is doing something wrong.

alpacalunch · January 2015

Look, I'm one of the nosiest people I know, but these are lines I would never think of crossing.

You leave papers on the table? I'll peek at them. Prescription bottles just out on a counter? Yeah, I wanna know. Stuff in the open is fair game, but anything where an attempt to conceal has been made is off-limits.

What is it about family that makes people think it's okay to be awful?

lovegood90 · January 2015

So then she's no longer allowed in the house. If your H actually thinks she's allowed in the house on one day's notice AND after all that nonsense, looks like you need to have a come-to-deity chat with him.

mrsdee15 · January 2015

Fuck that noise. Short notice for a week's stay and she goes through your stuff? Nope. So much nope. Ditto on the major conversation with your husband. Why does she say she was treated poorly if it's brought up? Why would she ever need any of those things? She has no right to those things. Surely people have mentioned this before, like, in kindergarten when you learn you don't go through other people's shit.

There's no way I'd let her stay for a week with this kind of behavior. If that's not an option, I'm voting for the pranks, especially the marbles in the medicine cabinet. Maybe also something that pops out of your drawer with financial stuff to scare her, like a clown on a spring.

I so need to vent this morning

Re: I so need to vent this morning

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