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Inviting to ceremony and not reception? HELP!

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Re: Inviting to ceremony and not reception? HELP!

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    squiggle104squiggle104 member
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    ShesSoCold said:
    shellc104 said:
    southernbelle0915 said:
    shellc104 said:
    Saying I'm not special and calling my idea "Shitty" isn't rude? Really?
    Telling someone they shouldn't have a ceremony or reception and if they did, "those poor poor poor people...." 

    So what I'm gathering here is that you think no one should be rude to you, but you're all gravy to be rude/sarcastic to others and put them down. Makes sense....
    Yes, I figured since everyone was being rude to me, I may as well be rude right back, why should I be nice when I asked for respect and didn't get it?
    Yes, very very mature. This attitude will take you far. 
    Yes, and so will yours
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    lovegood90lovegood90 member
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    shellc104 said:
    I never said my situation was different did I? I simply asked for opinions on the situation...I also never said that I have booked a venue that is too small, considering I haven't even booked it yet, I said there was another option for us...I am simply trying to get an opinion on the situation as it is right now before we go and meet with the venue to make our final decisions...But apparently it is too much to ask to get some straight, respectful input...there's always got to be people that have to be rude and say I'm not special and my idea is "Shitty"...Couldn't just say "Yes, ShellC, that would be rude"
    Ok well, you've gotten 2 pages worth of responses that say "Yes, that would be rude." So how about you just take that advice, accept that some of it was less than polite in its delivery in your eyes, and move on??

    Formerly martha1818

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    flantasticflantastic member
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    shellc104 said:

    southernbelle0915 said:
    ChemFanatic25 said:
    shellc104 said:
    @lyndausvi...so are the 70,80 and 90 years old's that went to your wedding the same ones that are coming to mine? Because I'm pretty sure you know no one in my family and know nothing about what they do and don't like to do...
    What response were you looking for OP? Serious question.
    My guess: 

    "Your situation is sooooo different. Since you were unable to properly count the number of people in your family, it makes TOTAL sense that you would have booked a venue that wouldn't fit everyone. Since you had zero foresight and planned poorly, OF COURSE standard etiquette doesn't apply to you. 

    Definitely show your family/friends who's important by not hosting some people and throwing a party for others. It's ok because it's YOUR super special day and this situation is TOTALLY different than stuff that gets posted here EVERY DAY!"
    I never said my situation was different did I? I simply asked for opinions on the situation...I also never said that I have booked a venue that is too small, considering I haven't even booked it yet, I said there was another option for us...I am simply trying to get an opinion on the situation as it is right now before we go and meet with the venue to make our final decisions...But apparently it is too much to ask to get some straight, respectful input...there's always got to be people that have to be rude and say I'm not special and my idea is "Shitty"...Couldn't just say "Yes, ShellC, that would be rude"
    The type of person who is hung up on being called "not special"...

    And if you cannot handle the word "shitty" being used in place of "bad" you may not want to speak to many people, on the internet or in real life.
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    squiggle104squiggle104 member
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    I didn't ask you a question, obviously the 70, 80 and 90 year olds that were at your wedding aren't the same ones that are coming to mine...That's the only question there was in that statement and it wasn't meant to be answered...
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    ChemFanatic25ChemFanatic25 member
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    shellc104 said:
    ChemFanatic25 said:
    shellc104 said:
    @lyndausvi...so are the 70,80 and 90 years old's that went to your wedding the same ones that are coming to mine? Because I'm pretty sure you know no one in my family and know nothing about what they do and don't like to do...
    What response were you looking for OP? Serious question.
    Did I say I wanted her to respond?

    I didn't mean her. I meant what were you expecting as a response from the board in general. You said you wanted opinions.

    Also I just saw that you said you didn't finalize the venue yet. I still recommend finding a larger venue that can accomodate the people you inteded to invite to the ceremony. You really would be hurting people's feelings if you invited them to only one part of the wedding, even if they don't tell you directly.

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    squiggle104squiggle104 member
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    southernbelle0915 said:
    shellc104 said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    shellc104 said:
    Yes, I figured since everyone was being rude to me, I may as well be rude right back, why should I be nice when I asked for respect and didn't get it?
    Yes, very very mature. This attitude will take you far. 
    Yes, and so will yours
    I know you are, but what am I? LOL nice!

    Seriously, shellc... You asked a question you pretty much knew was against etiquette. Then you got a boat load of responses that were not rude. You got ONE that you think was rude and you throw a total fit and carry on for several pages about said rudeness. 

    If you think it makes sense for people to take the high road and not respond if they don't have nice things to say (as you asked people to do for your OP), then why didn't you just respond to the 15 or so people who you did not think were rude? Why pick the ONE response out of the crowd to make a big deal about? 

    It would seem that you talk the talk, but don't exactly walk the walk. Me thinks MUD.
    I did respond to the one's that were nice at first, I said thank you to them and then all I got in response was "This is not an opinion, it's just so rude, blah blah blah" So I'm done responding to the people who were being nice because now everyone is just being mean and rude! Why bother? I think all you people do is sit here and watch for people to be mean to! I just read another post where everyone was just as ignorant and rude to her from the beginning at you all were to me! This site, at least these boards, is so friggin pointless and full of bull shit drama it's like I'm in high school all over again!
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    mikenbergermikenberger member
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    shellc104 said:
    southernbelle0915 said:
    shellc104 said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    shellc104 said:
    Yes, I figured since everyone was being rude to me, I may as well be rude right back, why should I be nice when I asked for respect and didn't get it?
    Yes, very very mature. This attitude will take you far. 
    Yes, and so will yours
    I know you are, but what am I? LOL nice!

    Seriously, shellc... You asked a question you pretty much knew was against etiquette. Then you got a boat load of responses that were not rude. You got ONE that you think was rude and you throw a total fit and carry on for several pages about said rudeness. 

    If you think it makes sense for people to take the high road and not respond if they don't have nice things to say (as you asked people to do for your OP), then why didn't you just respond to the 15 or so people who you did not think were rude? Why pick the ONE response out of the crowd to make a big deal about? 

    It would seem that you talk the talk, but don't exactly walk the walk. Me thinks MUD.
    I did respond to the one's that were nice at first, I said thank you to them and then all I got in response was "This is not an opinion, it's just so rude, blah blah blah" So I'm done responding to the people who were being nice because now everyone is just being mean and rude! Why bother? I think all you people do is sit here and watch for people to be mean to! I just read another post where everyone was just as ignorant and rude to her from the beginning at you all were to me! This site, at least these boards, is so friggin pointless and full of bull shit drama it's like I'm in high school all over again!
    Then why are you responding?

    Well hello there Kettle.

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    squiggle104squiggle104 member
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    I said I was done responding to the people that were being nice, I didn't say I was done responding to all of you whiny people that are full of bullshit that have been making me laugh with every response for the past hour or so
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    allispainallispain member
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    southernbelle0915 said:
    shellc104 said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    shellc104 said:
    Yes, I figured since everyone was being rude to me, I may as well be rude right back, why should I be nice when I asked for respect and didn't get it?
    Yes, very very mature. This attitude will take you far. 
    Yes, and so will yours
    I know you are, but what am I? LOL nice!

    Seriously, shellc... You asked a question you pretty much knew was against etiquette. Then you got a boat load of responses that were not rude. You got ONE that you think was rude and you throw a total fit and carry on for several pages about said rudeness. 

    If you think it makes sense for people to take the high road and not respond if they don't have nice things to say (as you asked people to do for your OP), then why didn't you just respond to the 15 or so people who you did not think were rude? Why pick the ONE response out of the crowd to make a big deal about? 

    It would seem that you talk the talk, but don't exactly walk the walk. Me thinks MUD.
    Exactly what I was thinking. OP, I was the 2nd person to respond to you on this thread. I gave you a very polite response, as well as a good suggestion of something to you to look into finding other ways to hold a wedding on a budget. Rather than focus on the advice you were given, you reacted by lashing out at the one comment that was very blunt, and what you said to her was incredibly rude. I guess that's what I get for trying to be helpful - my advice was completely ignored.
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    mikenbergermikenberger member
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    shellc104 said:
    I said I was done responding to the people that were being nice, I didn't say I was done responding to all of you whiny people that are full of bullshit that have been making me laugh with every response for the past hour or so
    You do realize it just makes you look foolish, right? Well, obviously not since you keep huffing and puffing around.

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    Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
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    shellc104 said:
    I did respond to the one's that were nice at first, I said thank you to them and then all I got in response was "This is not an opinion, it's just so rude, blah blah blah" So I'm done responding to the people who were being nice because now everyone is just being mean and rude! Why bother? I think all you people do is sit here and watch for people to be mean to! I just read another post where everyone was just as ignorant and rude to her from the beginning at you all were to me! This site, at least these boards, is so friggin pointless and full of bull shit drama it's like I'm in high school all over again!
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    ~*~*~*~*~

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    squiggle104squiggle104 member
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    mikenberger said:
    shellc104 said:
    I said I was done responding to the people that were being nice, I didn't say I was done responding to all of you whiny people that are full of bullshit that have been making me laugh with every response for the past hour or so
    You do realize it just makes you look foolish, right? Well, obviously not since you keep huffing and puffing around.
    Yeah I really don't care, all of you are just a bunch of prissy "omg that is so wrong and not etiquette" whiny bitches so whatever! I'm having fun!
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    plainjane0415plainjane0415 member
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    shellc104 said:
    mikenberger said:
    shellc104 said:
    I said I was done responding to the people that were being nice, I didn't say I was done responding to all of you whiny people that are full of bullshit that have been making me laugh with every response for the past hour or so
    You do realize it just makes you look foolish, right? Well, obviously not since you keep huffing and puffing around.
    Yeah I really don't care, all of you are just a bunch of prissy "omg that is so wrong and not etiquette" whiny bitches so whatever! I'm having fun!
    I mean you asked for opinions right?  And the fact is, what you are doing IS against etiquette.
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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    shellc104 said:
    mikenberger said:
    shellc104 said:
    I said I was done responding to the people that were being nice, I didn't say I was done responding to all of you whiny people that are full of bullshit that have been making me laugh with every response for the past hour or so
    You do realize it just makes you look foolish, right? Well, obviously not since you keep huffing and puffing around.
    Yeah I really don't care, all of you are just a bunch of prissy "omg that is so wrong and not etiquette" whiny bitches so whatever! I'm having fun!
    you know you posted  this on the etiquette board right?  You even asked for our help.

    What you are failing to understand is no amount of sugar coating, glitter, cute poems will take away that what you are contemplating is rude and will be perceived as rude by your guests.

    Better hear it from us then your friends and family.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    beachyone15beachyone15 member
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    Cookie Pusher said:
    Do you feel sorry for our SOs/FIs/spouses?

    *gets BINGO cards ready*
    I thought the same thing when she said she felt sorry for ShesSoCold's guests!


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    MGPMGP member
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    shellc104 said:
    it's like I'm in high school all over again!
    Wait - you mean you are already out of high school?  With your attitude and maturity on this post I had pegged you to be about 17.
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    misshart00misshart00 member
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    I always find it funny when OP refuses to answer the question "what answers were you expecting?" It's a basic question with a fairly straight forward answer. But instead, OP just went off on @ShesSoCold‌ again.
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    NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
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    So I guess giving a no answer, don't do that, means I'm rude. Get a clue.
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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    shellc104 said:
    Okay, I have read so many different things on this topic but hear me out before you freak out of me and say "NO! SO RUDE!"  Why?  It doesn't matter why you want to do it, it's rude.
    My fiance and I are having a wedding at a resort we both worked at (and this place is the reason we got together in the first place!) and it's also in the town we both grew up in, so it really has a lot of meaning to us. The ceremony spot can hold up to 200 people, while the place we are going to have our reception is only 85 max. ( there is another place for a reception there but it would cost more than double to rent that space, not to mention the extra cost of per person for food). If you want to invite more than 85 people to any part of your reception you're going to have to pony up the money to host them properly.
    At first we thought it would be no problem sticking to the 85 number, but as the days go by, our list gets longer and longer. We both have decent sized families so that takes up most of the 85, leaving no room for anyone else.
    I would like everyone's honest (and respectful) opinion on the situation of inviting people to the ceremony and not to the reception.
    It has NOTHING to do with me wanting more presents and not wanting to pay for everyone; in fact, if someone is only invited to the ceremony, I wouldn't even expect them to bring us a present anyways. You shouldn't be expecting anyone to bring you a present, period.  We are trying to stick to a tight budget, while still making this day the day of our dreams.
    The type of people that would be invited to just the ceremony are the older people in our families; the ones that wouldn't really want to hang around until 10 at night and dance and party anyways... Not ok.
    If we do go through with this decision, how should it be worded on the invitations?  There is no acceptable way to word this.
    No, absolutely not.  It does not matter why you're being rude, the end result is still extreme rudeness.  You planned poorly by booking a too-small reception location, now you need to figure out how to make your ENTIRE wedding list under 85 people, or find a new reception location.



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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    shellc104 said:
    Like I said, no need for the rude comments, I'm not trying to "Sprinkle glitter" on it and I don't think I'm special what so ever, I actually think I'm quite the opposite... I'm asking for a simple opinion, if you can't just give it to me, you can take your rude opinions elsewhere @ShesSoCold...and with an inability to read instructions Believe it or not, you don't actually have the right to instruct other posters on how to respond.  (ie, the fact I didn't want anyone to be rude) and with an attitude like that, I would suggest you invite no one to your ceremony NOR your reception...and if you're already married...those poor poor people...This is actually the rudest thing on the thread. 
    Everyone else, thank you for your respectful opinions, we are going to have to do some figuring out I guess! : )




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    APDSS22APDSS22 member
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    shellc104 said:
    southernbelle0915 said:
    shellc104 said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    shellc104 said:
    Yes, I figured since everyone was being rude to me, I may as well be rude right back, why should I be nice when I asked for respect and didn't get it?
    Yes, very very mature. This attitude will take you far. 
    Yes, and so will yours
    I know you are, but what am I? LOL nice!

    Seriously, shellc... You asked a question you pretty much knew was against etiquette. Then you got a boat load of responses that were not rude. You got ONE that you think was rude and you throw a total fit and carry on for several pages about said rudeness. 

    If you think it makes sense for people to take the high road and not respond if they don't have nice things to say (as you asked people to do for your OP), then why didn't you just respond to the 15 or so people who you did not think were rude? Why pick the ONE response out of the crowd to make a big deal about? 

    It would seem that you talk the talk, but don't exactly walk the walk. Me thinks MUD.
    I did respond to the one's that were nice at first, I said thank you to them and then all I got in response was "This is not an opinion, it's just so rude, blah blah blah" So I'm done responding to the people who were being nice because now everyone is just being mean and rude! Why bother? I think all you people do is sit here and watch for people to be mean to! I just read another post where everyone was just as ignorant and rude to her from the beginning at you all were to me! This site, at least these boards, is so friggin pointless and full of bull shit drama it's like I'm in high school all over again!
    Ignorant would be the person who supposedly knows how her question has been answered before by a group of people and expects any different answer when she asks the same thing.  I'll go ahead and assume MUD for that reason alone.

    To answer the original question for anyone reading this lurking: yes, it is rude to invite people to the ceremony and not the reception (no extenuating circumstances change this fact and the reverse is also true: inviting a person to the reception but not the ceremony is also rude.)
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    MobKazMobKaz member
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    shellc104 said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    shellc104 said:
    southernbelle0915 said:
    shellc104 said:
    Saying I'm not special and calling my idea "Shitty" isn't rude? Really?
    Telling someone they shouldn't have a ceremony or reception and if they did, "those poor poor poor people...." 

    So what I'm gathering here is that you think no one should be rude to you, but you're all gravy to be rude/sarcastic to others and put them down. Makes sense....
    Yes, I figured since everyone was being rude to me, I may as well be rude right back, why should I be nice when I asked for respect and didn't get it?
    Yes, very very mature. This attitude will take you far. 
    Yes, and so will yours
    And now, all I can think is...................
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    MobKazMobKaz member
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    @shellc104 said, "Okay, I have read so many different things on this topic but hear me out before you freak out of me and say "NO! SO RUDE!"
    My fiance and I are having a wedding at a resort we both worked at (and this place is the reason we got together in the first place!) and it's also in the town we both grew up in, so it really has a lot of meaning to us

    If you both grew up in the same town, then having your reception just about anywhere in that town should be meaningful.  That opens up a lot of possibilities to afford you the opportunity to invite every guest on your list in the proper way.
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