Help me plan my housewarming?

Re: Help me plan my housewarming?

• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  January 2015

  mellowmarshmallow said:

  DH and I are just a couple weeks away from moving into our custom built dream house. We have heard in no uncertain terms from friends and family that we simply must have a housewarming party. We aren't planning one until we have been in the house for a couple months, hopefully once the weather breaks and people can enjoy being outside as well. So, I thought I would bring some of my ideas and concerns here for your wonderful advice. In no particular order...That doesn't mean you need to have one, you know...you can tell them to bugger off.
  
  1. I don't want people to feel like this is a gift-giving occasion. I would never mention gifts or lack thereof on the invitation, but does calling it an "open house" seem less "gifty" than a housewarming? I realize some people will probably still bring gifts, for which they will be profusely thanked in person and by prompt TY note. Nothing you can do about that. People still know what the occasion is, unless you plan the party around a different occasion, like Easter or Memorial Day.
  
  2. I am planning it for a non meal time, but will have some heavy appetizers (for vegans, vegetarians, and omnivores), punch/lemonade/soft drinks, and possibly a bourbon slush. I will put on the invitation that refreshments will be provided. I would prefer people not bring their own alcohol, but I realize that's beyond my control. Hopefully if they know they are being hosted, that will reduce some of the temptation. Do you think my menu sounds appropriate? Sounds fine to me.
  
  3. For timing, I was thinking 2-5pm or 1-5pm. What say you? How much time do I need for an open house for 60 people? 60 people is just his family, by the way. We are having a separate party for friends, coworkers, and my small family so that our house is not completely packed. We will have seating areas in the living room, on the patio, and in the basement, but it's still not a huge house. I would not invite 60 people to a small house. You can't assume everyone won't be there at the same time just because it's an open house, especially if they all know each other. And especially if the timeframe is only 3 hours... non-open house parties often normally last longer than that. 
  
  4. How do I politely let people know when it's time to leave? I'm not going to start flashing the lights and yelling "last call" right at 5pm, but our friends from college are known to sit and drink until 1 or 2 in the morning, regardless of what the original ending time was on the invitation. I'm confused. I thought this was just for his family? Best way to signal that a party is over is to put the food away and just serve coffee.
  
  Is there anything I have forgotten? We got married 5 years ago, so although I have lurked since then, my large party planning skills are rusty.
  

  
  

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• AprilH81 member

  

  January 2015

  mellowmarshmallow said:

  DH and I are just a couple weeks away from moving into our custom built dream house. We have heard in no uncertain terms from friends and family that we simply must have a housewarming party. We aren't planning one until we have been in the house for a couple months, hopefully once the weather breaks and people can enjoy being outside as well. So, I thought I would bring some of my ideas and concerns here for your wonderful advice. In no particular order...
  
  1. I don't want people to feel like this is a gift-giving occasion. I would never mention gifts or lack thereof on the invitation, but does calling it an "open house" seem less "gifty" than a housewarming? I realize some people will probably still bring gifts, for which they will be profusely thanked in person and by prompt TY note.  We called ours an "open house" as well to discourage gifts since it was less than a year from our wedding.  We still got some gifts and some beer/wine but they were mostly token gifts that we still wrote thank you notes for.
  
  2. I am planning it for a non meal time, but will have some heavy appetizers (for vegans, vegetarians, and omnivores), punch/lemonade/soft drinks, and possibly a bourbon slush. I will put on the invitation that refreshments will be provided. I would prefer people not bring their own alcohol, but I realize that's beyond my control. Hopefully if they know they are being hosted, that will reduce some of the temptation. Do you think my menu sounds appropriate?  That sounds fine!  Don't go overboard because a little goes a long way and we had too much food.  We did cheese and crackers, a veggie tray, meat balls, cocktail wieners, cookies and then my mom brought home made caramel corn (YUM!) and DH's mom brought some zucchini bread.  We had water, lemonade and beer and wine (wine leftover from the wedding so it was already in the house and "free").
  
  3. For timing, I was thinking 2-5pm or 1-5pm. What say you? How much time do I need for an open house for 60 people? 60 people is just his family, by the way. We are having a separate party for friends, coworkers, and my small family so that our house is not completely packed. We will have seating areas in the living room, on the patio, and in the basement, but it's still not a huge house. We did 1-4 for ours, but we had less people planning on attending.  Since we had our parents in from out of town and there was a big college football game that started at 3:30 we assumed people would stay for the game so we had some take and bake pizzas on hand for anyone who stuck around.  
  
  4. How do I politely let people know when it's time to leave? I'm not going to start flashing the lights and yelling "last call" right at 5pm, but our friends from college are known to sit and drink until 1 or 2 in the morning, regardless of what the original ending time was on the invitation.  If you really want to get people out of the house I would try to start the clean up process when you are tired of the company.  Most people will get the hint when the food and drinks are put away and you are wiping down the kitchen counters that the party is over.  Some people might not get the hint though.
  
  Is there anything I have forgotten? We got married 5 years ago, so although I have lurked since then, my large party planning skills are rusty. 

  
  

  Try to do foods that you don't have to do a lot of prep on the day of the party.  Crock pots are your friend.  You don't want to have to keep an eye on the oven or stove and then be called away to do a house tour or greet new arrivals.  As a close friend or family member if they can help you be on "food patrol" and to refill dishes as they get emptied.
  

  
  

  We did our open house about 3 months after moving in and after we finished the kitchen remodel.  I made a "wish list" of house projects that I wanted done before the open house and we did end up getting most of them done.  We bought a house that was 20 years old and while in overall good shape it needed some light cosmetic work (painting, replacing a few dated light fixtures, etc.).  We focused our efforts on outside and the main living area to make the best impression.

  
  

  Then the day of the open house I treated it like we were hosting an open house to sell it.  Lights were on, candles burning, curtains were open, etc.  DH and I took turns taking people through the house if they wanted a tour and then just did our best to be good hosts and visiting with everyone.

  Congrats on the new house!

  

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• mellowmarshmallow member

  

  January 2015

  lolo883 said:

  mellowmarshmallow said:

  DH and I are just a couple weeks away from moving into our custom built dream house. We have heard in no uncertain terms from friends and family that we simply must have a housewarming party. We aren't planning one until we have been in the house for a couple months, hopefully once the weather breaks and people can enjoy being outside as well. So, I thought I would bring some of my ideas and concerns here for your wonderful advice. In no particular order...That doesn't mean you need to have one, you know...you can tell them to bugger off.
  
  1. I don't want people to feel like this is a gift-giving occasion. I would never mention gifts or lack thereof on the invitation, but does calling it an "open house" seem less "gifty" than a housewarming? I realize some people will probably still bring gifts, for which they will be profusely thanked in person and by prompt TY note. Nothing you can do about that. People still know what the occasion is, unless you plan the party around a different occasion, like Easter or Memorial Day.
  
  2. I am planning it for a non meal time, but will have some heavy appetizers (for vegans, vegetarians, and omnivores), punch/lemonade/soft drinks, and possibly a bourbon slush. I will put on the invitation that refreshments will be provided. I would prefer people not bring their own alcohol, but I realize that's beyond my control. Hopefully if they know they are being hosted, that will reduce some of the temptation. Do you think my menu sounds appropriate? Sounds fine to me.
  
  3. For timing, I was thinking 2-5pm or 1-5pm. What say you? How much time do I need for an open house for 60 people? 60 people is just his family, by the way. We are having a separate party for friends, coworkers, and my small family so that our house is not completely packed. We will have seating areas in the living room, on the patio, and in the basement, but it's still not a huge house. I would not invite 60 people to a small house. You can't assume everyone won't be there at the same time just because it's an open house, especially if they all know each other. And especially if the timeframe is only 3 hours... non-open house parties often normally last longer than that. 
  
  4. How do I politely let people know when it's time to leave? I'm not going to start flashing the lights and yelling "last call" right at 5pm, but our friends from college are known to sit and drink until 1 or 2 in the morning, regardless of what the original ending time was on the invitation. I'm confused. I thought this was just for his family? Best way to signal that a party is over is to put the food away and just serve coffee.
  
  Is there anything I have forgotten? We got married 5 years ago, so although I have lurked since then, my large party planning skills are rusty.
  

  
  

  Thanks for the advice. To clarify, one party will be for his family and then we will have a separate one for out friends and coworkers, so the questions apply to both parties. Sorry for the confusion.
  
  I realize we can turn down hosting, but this is a situation where the fallout for not having a party will exceed the effort it takes to plan and host. DH and I have had several discussions and agree that we want to host people to see the house and our new property.
  
  When I say a small house, I mean by his family's standards. Our house will be 2100 square feet, not including the full basement which is around 1000 square feet. Also, 60 is planning for full attendance. His family's parties are always open houses and there is usually never more than 20 people at any one time, but I want to be prepared. We might be able to split his father's side and his mother's side (divorced, and each remarried) into different parties to further lower the number of potential attendees.
  

  Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.

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• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  January 2015

  H's family is the same way with houses... his aunt just "downsized" to a 2,800 square foot house after her H passed away. Most of them have around 4,000 square foot houses. We just don't plan on trying to "keep up with the Joneses"... we'll have smaller groups of them over at a time for smaller, more manageable parties, especially in the summer when we can go outside, rather than the giant 75-person Thanksgivings and whatnot. They can all see the house, but just not all descend upon it at one time.  

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• AprilH81 member

  

  January 2015

  mellowmarshmallow said:

  lolo883 said:

  mellowmarshmallow said:

  DH and I are just a couple weeks away from moving into our custom built dream house. We have heard in no uncertain terms from friends and family that we simply must have a housewarming party. We aren't planning one until we have been in the house for a couple months, hopefully once the weather breaks and people can enjoy being outside as well. So, I thought I would bring some of my ideas and concerns here for your wonderful advice. In no particular order...That doesn't mean you need to have one, you know...you can tell them to bugger off.
  
  1. I don't want people to feel like this is a gift-giving occasion. I would never mention gifts or lack thereof on the invitation, but does calling it an "open house" seem less "gifty" than a housewarming? I realize some people will probably still bring gifts, for which they will be profusely thanked in person and by prompt TY note. Nothing you can do about that. People still know what the occasion is, unless you plan the party around a different occasion, like Easter or Memorial Day.
  
  2. I am planning it for a non meal time, but will have some heavy appetizers (for vegans, vegetarians, and omnivores), punch/lemonade/soft drinks, and possibly a bourbon slush. I will put on the invitation that refreshments will be provided. I would prefer people not bring their own alcohol, but I realize that's beyond my control. Hopefully if they know they are being hosted, that will reduce some of the temptation. Do you think my menu sounds appropriate? Sounds fine to me.
  
  3. For timing, I was thinking 2-5pm or 1-5pm. What say you? How much time do I need for an open house for 60 people? 60 people is just his family, by the way. We are having a separate party for friends, coworkers, and my small family so that our house is not completely packed. We will have seating areas in the living room, on the patio, and in the basement, but it's still not a huge house. I would not invite 60 people to a small house. You can't assume everyone won't be there at the same time just because it's an open house, especially if they all know each other. And especially if the timeframe is only 3 hours... non-open house parties often normally last longer than that. 
  
  4. How do I politely let people know when it's time to leave? I'm not going to start flashing the lights and yelling "last call" right at 5pm, but our friends from college are known to sit and drink until 1 or 2 in the morning, regardless of what the original ending time was on the invitation. I'm confused. I thought this was just for his family? Best way to signal that a party is over is to put the food away and just serve coffee.
  
  Is there anything I have forgotten? We got married 5 years ago, so although I have lurked since then, my large party planning skills are rusty.
  

  
  

  Thanks for the advice. To clarify, one party will be for his family and then we will have a separate one for out friends and coworkers, so the questions apply to both parties. Sorry for the confusion.
  
  I realize we can turn down hosting, but this is a situation where the fallout for not having a party will exceed the effort it takes to plan and host. DH and I have had several discussions and agree that we want to host people to see the house and our new property.
  
  When I say a small house, I mean by his family's standards. Our house will be 2100 square feet, not including the full basement which is around 1000 square feet. Also, 60 is planning for full attendance. His family's parties are always open houses and there is usually never more than 20 people at any one time, but I want to be prepared. We might be able to split his father's side and his mother's side (divorced, and each remarried) into different parties to further lower the number of potential attendees.
  

  I would think long and hard about throwing multiple parties.  Cleaning the house each time, food prep each time, hosting each time is exhausting and can get expensive.  

  
  

  One for family and one for friends/coworkers is one thing, but if you start doing each side of the family it will get out of hand fast.

  

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• labro member

  

  January 2015

  1. When H and I bought our house we had an "open house" about two months after we moved in. I didn't even consider the possibility of people bringing gifts, but it happened anyway. We got some REALLY nice gifts, like a Kitchenaid mixer. Lots of people brought beer and wine which is typical for our area anyway, people tend to bring some sort of small token hostess gift whenever they attend a party. I think calling it an open house over a housewarming party makes it seem less gifty, but I don't think it will necessarily discourage gifts.

  
  

  2. I think your food plan sounds fine.

  
  

  3. I think your time frame sounds short. We hosted ours from starting around 3 until late that evening, but we didn't put an "end" time. Everyone had left by 11. However, we also had a pretty constant stream of people. Some people came early and left early, some people came a few hours later and left later. H and I just focused on showing off the house to anyone who wanted to see it while keeping an eye on the food and socializing with everyone as best as we could.

  
  

  4. I think PP's have already given you some good ideas here. Stop serving food when you're ready for people to start leaving and start some basic clean up work. Most people will get the hint.

  
  

  
  

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• mellowmarshmallow member

  

  January 2015

  I am hesitant to throw more than two parties anyway, so I may keep it to two and work on the guest list and timeframe.
  
  If I change the hours from 1-8pm or 2-9pm, would I have to serve a meal or could I just make sure the heavy appetizers keep flowing throughout the day? I plan on easy things like chili cheese dip and meatballs in crock pots, a sandwich tray from a local store, veggie trays, cheese and sausage trays, and chips. It should be enough to make a meal without having to designate a meal time for everyone to sit down and eat.
  

  Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.

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• mellowmarshmallow member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  Oh, and cake! There will be cake, because it's not a party without cake. Plus tiramisu, my favorite dessert ever which is also relatively easy to make in a large quantity days before the party. Plus everything needed to make s'mores by the firepit, weather permitting.
  

  Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.

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• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  January 2015

  mellowmarshmallow said:

  I am hesitant to throw more than two parties anyway, so I may keep it to two and work on the guest list and timeframe.
  
  If I change the hours from 1-8pm or 2-9pm, would I have to serve a meal or could I just make sure the heavy appetizers keep flowing throughout the day? I plan on easy things like chili cheese dip and meatballs in crock pots, a sandwich tray from a local store, veggie trays, cheese and sausage trays, and chips. It should be enough to make a meal without having to designate a meal time for everyone to sit down and eat.
  

  Heavy apps is fine for an overlapping open house. For my graduation open house, we had a crock pot of meatballs plus lunch meat with hoagie rolls for subs so people could have a sandwich if they wanted, plus all the chips and dips and whatnot. I would never expect more than that for an open house - how can you serve a proper dinner if you don't designate a dinner time?

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• AprilH81 member

  

  January 2015

  mellowmarshmallow said:

  I am hesitant to throw more than two parties anyway, so I may keep it to two and work on the guest list and timeframe.
  
  If I change the hours from 1-8pm or 2-9pm, would I have to serve a meal or could I just make sure the heavy appetizers keep flowing throughout the day? I plan on easy things like chili cheese dip and meatballs in crock pots, a sandwich tray from a local store, veggie trays, cheese and sausage trays, and chips. It should be enough to make a meal without having to designate a meal time for everyone to sit down and eat.
  

  This might not be strictly etiquette approved, but since an "open house" style party means you come, you stay for awhile and then you leave I don't think you need to provide a "meal".  

  
  

  Your menu above would be plenty to fill someone up, especially with the sandwich tray and meatballs so I think you are still being a good host.

  
  

  If you do a longer party I would just make sure you "ration" out the food so that the first few waves of guests don't clear you out of the more substantial food items.

  

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