Bridesmaid Gifts

88beautymarked · November 2014

I wrote them each personal thank you notes, gave them makeup bags with their initials on it, filled them with mascara, lip balm, jewelry to wear to the wedding, and paid for their hair and makeup for the wedding.

beethery · November 2014

annakay511 said:

I am thinking of a monogrammed clutch that they can use on the day of the wedding as well as afterwards (I've been searching etsy!) I like the idea of something that can be used on the wedding day but is not wedding-specific (like a clutch, jewelry, pretty robe, etc.)

Shop for them individually like you would for birthday gifts. They will like that kind of thing more.

poodledoodleooo · November 2014

I'm struggling with this as well. I've talked to one of my maids about it (she's my best friend so of course I had to!) to get general ideas and I know she prefers wedding-related gifts. Makes sense because that's what we got for hers. It was nice, but I feel like wedding-related gifts (such as a necklace to wear on the wedding) makes me feel like my gift is more about bride than the bridesmaid.

I think I'm going to do a little gift bundle. I'll get them a pashmina/shawl that they can wear for the wedding, but totally don't have to. Gift card to the salon I'm getting my hair done at so they can either use it toward wedding day services, if they so choose, or use it for another time if they prefer.

I want to create a personalized Shutterfly-type book for each of the maids.They'd all be getting a completely different book that reflects my relationship with each of them. A bottle of wine (or beer for one of them) and then maybe something else that reflects them. A book for my book-loving friend. A purse for my purse-obsessed sister. Gourmet food-stuff for my foodie lady. And... something for my FSIL. Still working on hers! I think i might get a monogrammed tote to hold it all but I wouldn't call that their gift - more like pretty packaging!

My girls have really spoiled me throughout this wedding process so I want to make sure I spoil them back. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this idea!

kristenone · November 2014

I got my bridesmaids Coach clutches/evening bags that they can use at the wedding or just at any time. I tried to stay away from a single use gift. Unfortunately I can't afford to pay for everyone's hair and makeup but I am not requiring it either.

amazingasian · December 2014

I am getting my bridesmaids kimono style robes. I'm Korean, and they all love Asian influenced things. It'll be great for lounging around in, and getting ready in the morning!

haleyk620 · December 2014

I am giving my bridesmaids the jewelry I would like them to wear at the wedding, and I am also paying for them to get their hair done. I wanted to do this because they have already spent so much money on me, and I thought it would be a more practical gift than getting them something personalized or risking them not liking something else I may have picked out.

labro · December 2014

haleyk620 said:

I am giving my bridesmaids the jewelry I would like them to wear at the wedding, and I am also paying for them to get their hair done. I wanted to do this because they have already spent so much money on me, and I thought it would be a more practical gift than getting them something personalized or risking them not liking something else I may have picked out.

This isn't a gift at all. If you want to give them jewelry that's fine, but give them jewelry that isn't related to the wedding or required to wear at the wedding. Same for the hair, it's totally cool if you want to pay for it so they have a nice updo, but that isn't a "gift". Give them a giftcard to their favorite spa or salon, or make up a basket of some of their favorite things like a spa themed, wine themed, coffee themed basket, etc. You get the idea.

JennyColada · January 2015

Sometimes I feel like I must be the only person in the world to not wear robes with the frequency that they are gifted.

amelisha · January 2015

JennyColada said:

Sometimes I feel like I must be the only person in the world to not wear robes with the frequency that they are gifted.

I wear robes, but only the long terrycloth kind that actually absorb water after a shower. I have absolutely no use for those stupid satiny ones. They're freezing in winter and sticky in summer unless they're 100% silk.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

amelisha said:

JennyColada said:

Sometimes I feel like I must be the only person in the world to not wear robes with the frequency that they are gifted.

I wear robes, but only the long terrycloth kind that actually absorb water after a shower. I have absolutely no use for those stupid satiny ones. They're freezing in winter and sticky in summer unless they're 100% silk.

I just bought a pink fuzzy robe for myself. I wear it in the morning so I don't flash my neighbors while making coffee. In my old apartment I'd just make coffee in the nude. But now that I have a house with kitchen windows overlooking the neighbor's driveway, I decided that would be inappropriate.

melhock8452 · January 2015

When I have stood up in weddings I would have loved having my hair and makeup paid for as a gift. Much more practical than some one time use item such as a robe or a personalized flask or jewelry in a color that you'll never wrest again. You don't really need these items, but you do need to get your hair done if you don't want to stick out.

MobKaz · January 2015

sjf2715 said:

I'm struggling with this as well. I've talked to one of my maids about it (she's my best friend so of course I had to!) to get general ideas and I know she prefers wedding-related gifts. Makes sense because that's what we got for hers. It was nice, but I feel like wedding-related gifts (such as a necklace to wear on the wedding) makes me feel like my gift is more about bride than the bridesmaid.

I think I'm going to do a little gift bundle. I'll get them a pashmina/shawl that they can wear for the wedding, but totally don't have to. Gift card to the salon I'm getting my hair done at so they can either use it toward wedding day services, if they so choose, or use it for another time if they prefer.

I want to create a personalized Shutterfly-type book for each of the maids.They'd all be getting a completely different book that reflects my relationship with each of them. A bottle of wine (or beer for one of them) and then maybe something else that reflects them. A book for my book-loving friend. A purse for my purse-obsessed sister. Gourmet food-stuff for my foodie lady. And... something for my FSIL. Still working on hers! I think i might get a monogrammed tote to hold it all but I wouldn't call that their gift - more like pretty packaging!

My girls have really spoiled me throughout this wedding process so I want to make sure I spoil them back. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this idea!

That is exactly right! Any gift that is wedding day specific is typically to complete the "look of the bride's picture vision" than it is about the individual girl. Brides need to reprogram their brains to think about how they want to thank and gift their friend, NOT their bridesmaid.

I like your gift card idea to the salon. If it is a generic gift card, and you have made it clear that it is NOT necessarily meant to be used the day of the wedding, I see it as a win-win. Your Shutterfly book idea, as you describe, is something I could see my daughter doing with her friends. They have a long history with each other and are all very sentimental. It also has the potential as a charming mother-daughter gift idea, if you were looking for something to do for your mom. (I have been a MOB and MOG.)

Tread carefully with the monogramming. Speaking personally, I have yet to see any of my daughter or DIL's friends use anything monogrammed. Your individual gift ideas of books, purses, etc., are the gifts that are spot on!

MobKaz · January 2015

Knottie95384843 said:

When I have stood up in weddings I would have loved having my hair and makeup paid for as a gift. Much more practical than some one time use item such as a robe or a personalized flask or jewelry in a color that you'll never wrest again. You don't really need these items, but you do need to get your hair done if you don't want to stick out.

I disagree with the bolded statement. I know women who can do their own hair better than professionals. One of my daughter's BM's decided she hated what her stylist did with her hair, and completely reinvented it once she left the salon. She did not stick out at all.

cincystacy · January 2015

Yikes! One thing I have learned from reading the messages on these boards is I know nothing about wedding planning and that no one can make everyone happy! To each their own, I understand people are looking for advice, however I don't think they are looking for judgement. Matchy pinterest gifts are popular, otherwise they wouldn't be on Pinterest... and if you are more in to personalized gifts awesome for you! Either way I am sure the BMs will love their gifts! Your budget is much higher than mine, I am going to craft some personal items and also give them a day of emergency kit. Specifically going to etch some wine glasses with their initials, well one will be a beer stein because I know she doesn't like wine! I may give them some jewelry to wear the day of, haven't decided yet! In the emergency kit I want to put lotion, mints, nail file, small bottle of liquor. Also depending on if they get their nails done or not a polish that I think they may enjoy!

jerseykisses · January 2015

I totally agree with you @cincystacy!!! My FI and I are paying for our wedding ourselves and I'm hoping that with all the time and money we are putting into the planning that my BM will not be so snarky as some of you are about the BM gifts! Just like I have been a BM several times for the sole reason to be a part of the marriage of the bride and groom - not with ANY expectation or criticism of gifts that I receive - I foresee my BM doing the same for me, regardless if I gift them a pair of pearl earrings, cover the cost of hair or just a handwritten note. Let's try not to lose sight of the purpose of gifting the BM.

mlg78 · January 2015

jerseykisses said:

I totally agree with you @cincystacy!!! My FI and I are paying for our wedding ourselves and I'm hoping that with all the time and money we are putting into the planning that my BM will not be so snarky as some of you are about the BM gifts! Just like I have been a BM several times for the sole reason to be a part of the marriage of the bride and groom - not with ANY expectation or criticism of gifts that I receive - I foresee my BM doing the same for me, regardless if I gift them a pair of pearl earrings, cover the cost of hair or just a handwritten note. Let's try not to lose sight of the purpose of gifting the BM.

The purpose of gifting the BM is to give them things to help your wedding day? Not thank them for being such a dear friend to you by giving them a heartfelt gift you know they'd enjoy?

happybridetobe1987 · January 2015

My MOH lives in Seattle so I am going to get her a nice spa gift card because the spa at her gym is AMAZING and she works so hard so now she can get a nice massage. One of my BMs is a total foodie and vegetarian so maybe a cool veggie cookbook. The other one is super city-girl stylish so I think I'm going to get her a funky statement necklace or something of that sort. I really think that if you just think of their personalities and cater to that, they'll love what you get them!

jerseykisses · January 2015

@mlg78 - maybe I'm a different type of bride.. In the past I never expected a gift from the bride since I knew they would do the exact same things for me as a BM in the future. Two of the wedding parties I've been in I was given a pair of earrings to wear in the wedding and to this day I still wear them weekly and think of the brides whenever I do. Who knows, maybe I'm more sentimental than others and am appreciative of whatever they choose to give me regardless.

I've been in a wedding where two girls could not afford to get the hair and makeup done and they would have preferred that cost to be covered instead of being given the usual BM gifts. I'm not sure where you are a bride, but in NJ weddings are outrageously expensive - hair and makeup alone can put one BM back $200 - so if taking care of that cost helps them, then so be it.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

cincystacy said:

Yikes! One thing I have learned from reading the messages on these boards is I know nothing about wedding planning and that no one can make everyone happy! To each their own, I understand people are looking for advice, however I don't think they are looking for judgement. Matchy pinterest gifts are popular, otherwise they wouldn't be on Pinterest... and if you are more in to personalized gifts awesome for you! Either way I am sure the BMs will love their gifts! Your budget is much higher than mine, I am going to craft some personal items and also give them a day of emergency kit. Specifically going to etch some wine glasses with their initials, well one will be a beer stein because I know she doesn't like wine! I may give them some jewelry to wear the day of, haven't decided yet! In the emergency kit I want to put lotion, mints, nail file, small bottle of liquor. Also depending on if they get their nails done or not a polish that I think they may enjoy!

Ugh. This is not a gift. I don't need a Day-of-Emergency-Kit, I have all that shit in my bag. I have the lotion I like (and I can't use anything scented), I don't eat mints, I already have a nail file (two actually, a big one and a small one on my Swiss Army Knife), and I shouldn't need liquor if you're hosting your wedding properly. And I don't need special nail polish since I never polish my own nails. And while I appreciate you'd know me well enough to get me a beer stein rather than a wine glass, I don't need my initials etched in anything. And I don't want jewelry to wear the day of, because I'll probably just donate it to my favorite thrift store the next day.

But buy me a hard cover classic book, or a scarf, or a couple bottles of craft beer and I'm yours!

kat1114 · January 2015

cincystacy said:

Yikes! One thing I have learned from reading the messages on these boards is I know nothing about wedding planning and that no one can make everyone happy! To each their own, I understand people are looking for advice, however I don't think they are looking for judgement. Matchy pinterest gifts are popular, otherwise they wouldn't be on Pinterest... and if you are more in to personalized gifts awesome for you! Either way I am sure the BMs will love their gifts! Your budget is much higher than mine, I am going to craft some personal items and also give them a day of emergency kit. Specifically going to etch some wine glasses with their initials, well one will be a beer stein because I know she doesn't like wine! I may give them some jewelry to wear the day of, haven't decided yet! In the emergency kit I want to put lotion, mints, nail file, small bottle of liquor. Also depending on if they get their nails done or not a polish that I think they may enjoy!

Pinterest is full of bad ideas. Just because something is popular on Pinterest, that doesn't make it a good idea.

Budget has nothing to do with the quality of a bridesmaid gift- just make it personal. Giving everonye the same crap isn't personal. I personally would not enjoy a wine glass or beer stein with my initials. I know my initials and don't need them plastered on everything. I also have a set of matching wine/beer glasses, and I don't need more. I also don't need an emergency day of kit. I'm an adult and am capable of planning ahead for things I might need for any given day.

But I would be super happy if a bride bought me something that matched my personality, even if she didn't spend much money. I'd rather have a bride get me a $5-10 gift card to my favorite coffee shop and write me a nice note than buy me a bunch of crap I don't want.

mlg78 · January 2015

jerseykisses said:
@mlg78 - maybe I'm a different type of bride.. In the past I never expected a gift from the bride since I knew they would do the exact same things for me as a BM in the future. Two of the wedding parties I've been in I was given a pair of earrings to wear in the wedding and to this day I still wear them weekly and think of the brides whenever I do. Who knows, maybe I'm more sentimental than others and am appreciative of whatever they choose to give me regardless.

I've been in a wedding where two girls could not afford to get the hair and makeup done and they would have preferred that cost to be covered instead of being given the usual BM gifts. I'm not sure where you are a bride, but in NJ weddings are outrageously expensive - hair and makeup alone can put one BM back $200 - so if taking care of that cost helps them, then so be it.

I'm the type of bride (well, now wife...) that doesn't ask the wedding party to get their hair and make up done. Hell, I didn't have my own makeup done for my wedding.

cincystacy · January 2015

I am buying/crafting the gifts for the women in my wedding because I know they would be grateful for anything. They are not there to get gifts of any sort, they are there to stand next to me and my groom on our special day and to promise to support us throughout our journey. I am not expecting them to do anything other than to give us their love and support. While I appreciate the input (that I did not ask for), I was answering the question for the sake of the person who asked for ideas. Now if you have any additional criticism please follow the thought that if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all. Thank you and good luck with all of your planning!

kat1114 · January 2015

cincystacy said:

I am buying/crafting the gifts for the women in my wedding because I know they would be grateful for anything. They are not there to get gifts of any sort, they are there to stand next to me and my groom on our special day and to promise to support us throughout our journey. I am not expecting them to do anything other than to give us their love and support. While I appreciate the input (that I did not ask for), I was answering the question for the sake of the person who asked for ideas. Now if you have any additional criticism please follow the thought that if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all. Thank you and good luck with all of your planning!

No one said anything mean to you. No one is saying being a bridesmaid is about getting gifts. People gave their input because this is the interwebz and that's how it works. No one needs permission to give an opinion, but thanks for playing.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

kat1114 said:

cincystacy said:

I am buying/crafting the gifts for the women in my wedding because I know they would be grateful for anything. They are not there to get gifts of any sort, they are there to stand next to me and my groom on our special day and to promise to support us throughout our journey. I am not expecting them to do anything other than to give us their love and support. While I appreciate the input (that I did not ask for), I was answering the question for the sake of the person who asked for ideas. Now if you have any additional criticism please follow the thought that if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all. Thank you and good luck with all of your planning!

No one said anything mean to you. No one is saying being a bridesmaid is about getting gifts. People gave their input because this is the interwebz and that's how it works. No one needs permission to give an opinion, but thanks for playing.

I thought I was very nice. I'm trying to be helpful. I know you have good intentions. I know your bridesmaids aren't expecting anything. That's all the more reason to make sure what you give them is wonderful and unique rather than cookie-cutter and boring. Seriously, I love that you know the one girl enough to get her a beer stein rather than a wine glass. That is excellent! Can't you take that a step farther and get a nice bottle of red wine, an aerator pourer thingie, and wine charms for the hostess-red-wine-lover? Get a bottle of white wine, a cute throw blanket, and a classic novel for the homebody-wine-lover. Get a cheese or wine of-the-month membership for the foodie. I'm just saying that these are your closest, bestest friends, surely you can get them something better than a bottle of lotion and a tin of altoids. You are THANKING THEM for standing next to you on the day you promise to spend the rest of your life with someone. Thank them. Really thank them.

southernbelle0915 · January 2015

@cincystacy - want to know why matching gifts are popular? Because they require minimal effort. If the bride is DIYing, she just has to make 4 of the same thing...mayyyybe with one very small, different detail. If she's buying them, she just orders them all at once.

Want to know why gifts related to the wedding (like jewelry) are so popular? 1) because they also require minimal effort and 2) they are usually in the bride's interest of making her BMs look the same.

See how BOTH of those things are more about the bride than they are about the BMs? Since when is giving a gift supposed to be about the best interest of the giver? I've always been taught that giving a gift should be all about the recipient. BUT IT'S POPULAR ON PINTEREST, so..........

flantastic · January 2015

Was this in the newsletter, or is it just because the snowflakes show up here looking for lazy gift ideas?

cincystacy · February 2015

#sorrynotsorry we obviously have different opinions and that is ok

Lusitano8 · March 2015

You might want to consider giving an "experience" if it fits with your personality. I've seen this done and it's really personal and touching. Like getting concert tickets for you and one of your BM's to go see her favorite artist. Giving a spa day, belly dance lesson, etc. do something special for each one. The mamma's in your group might appreciate a special girls day to use when they want!

It's not for everyone if you want them to have a keepsake but it's a really nice memory and seams like it would fit in your budget.

lanternwaste17 · March 2015

One of my favorite gifts as a bridesmaid was a shutterfly picture book of our times together. It was so sweet and thoughtful! Ironically, I also made a scrapbook for the bride with pages put together by other bridesmaids and super close friends/family. She LOVED it! I think that would be a nice idea for bridesmaids if you have more time than money (I know shutterfly can be pricey).

For my own wedding, I did do similar gifts for my bridesmaids. Most of them were my sisters who I know super well, and my husband's sisters whom I barely knew. I had 7 total plus a pianist and a super tight budget.

I bought old hardbound books in each girls style (one was a mystery, one was an old-fashioned romance, etc.) and hollowed it out to make a jewelry box (http://www.sincerelykinsey.com/2012/03/jewelry-box-diy.html) . This actually turned into a huge nightmare project that took FOREVER but it turned out super nice! Then I got them each an enamel locket in their favorite color from this shop ( Etsy - The Blooming Thread ) and filled it with a picture of them and their s/o or bestie or whatever.

Hope this helps!

Mint Oval Photo Locket - Custom Charm Color - Medium

futurekeach · March 2015

My wedding is very vintage inspired. I wanted to get them something that made them remember the day, but showed my appreciation for them. I've gotten them all vintage trinket boxes that match their personalities. For instance, one of my BMs and her husband went to Italy for their HM, so I got her a beautiful Italian trinket box with her favorite colors. One is a French teacher, her box is a French antique Limoges trinket box. One BM and I used to walk in the park every day after school. It's really what made us close. I got her a box with birds and spring flowers on it. Bonus, she also likes birds. That's 3/7 of the boxes I got. I'm going to write them letters and put them in the boxes. I also bought them some pretty jewelry for the day of the wedding. I wan to get them one more thing, but I'm super broke. I'm still racking my brain on what else to get them.

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