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Chit Chat
nhultberg461
member
Being a little b***ch
in Chit Chat
So I'm having a girls weekend coming up in August to go look at venues and dress shopping. One of my brothers is getting married in December and I want to invite my future sister in law for the weekend, but do no want to include my two other brothers girlfriends. Maybe I'm being slightly bitching about it, but I don't care for my youngest brothers girlfriend and I have yet to meet my older brothers girlfriend.
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Re: Being a little b***ch
I'm not looking at your wedding venues unless you feed me and booze me up afterward. I got tired of looking at venues for my own wedding.
Also, dude, this is 6 months away. Stop stressing. You're going to drive yourself and everyone else batty.
I think this OP is the one whose FI is recovering from something like a stroke? Correct me if I'm wrong. If he's too infirm to do any planning, I'm not sure why they're full steam ahead in planning a wedding, but that would explain why he's out of the venue-visiting picture.
OP, not everyone has to go with you to visit venues. It's not a wedding event. Only take those whose opinions you'd care to hear. We only ever went with my parents, since they were paying for a lot of it.
Yes FI is still recovering from a stroke, as is getting better each day.
Planning the girls weekend this far an advance is needed, as each person is flying in from different areas, and it's also the weekend here in Vegas that the Bridal Show is here. So we needed to work together to make sure that they get deals on flights and hotels.
Plus with FSIL being that she's planning her wedding too, I figured that she would be a great person for input.
I won't just be shopping for my dress, but also the maiden of honors, and the two bridesmaid, so I'm trying to kill two birds with one stone.
My FI doesn't want to be all that involved in the planning. I am trying to get him to go with me but it does get to be to much for him.
I don't think this is one of those comments I should of kept to myself. I wanted to see if maybe I was being a little bitch by not wanting my two other brothers girlfriends there. Sometimes when I was thinking about it, I felt like it was petty, but then there were those times where I was just saying oh well I'm going to be a bitch about it.
Ok, since I understand that there is this consensus that I'm generally overthinking everything, and technically have plenty of time to plan everything, if you schedule included working 10 hour days, school two nights a week, two online courses, raising a teenager and a preteen, and then also taking care of your FI (medically and personally), keeping up the house, running errands (normally and out of the blue), how long would you give yourself? Keep in mind I signed up for school prior to being engaged.
Everything else aside, I think you'd have more luck if you solicited advice in a question format.
It's not that he's not well enough to visit venues, with a stroke survivor who suffers from apraxia aphasia, sometimes the stress of having a simple conversation mentally tires him out. He has finally been feeling better enough to start working on his cars, which he hadn't for the last 7 months, and it was tiring for him. He also has to get his body feeling better to.
If I currently put us in a group setting like at a restaurant he gets distracted easily. He has a hard time tuning other things out right now. His brain is still healing, and will probably still be healing for years to come, and I understand all that. If he and I were to just tour the venues, I would need to make sure that the person who showed us kept things minimal.
I'm also currently working on cutting our list down to between 50-70 people. And then even then it might be less.
I eloped the first time, and wanted this time to be different, otherwise yes I would go down to the little white chapel on the strip and be done with it. My family is willing to be where we need them if and when things happen.
There are those days, especially when he has a stressful day right now, where I would be glad to just get a simple dress, call those in town close to us, my parents, and his sisters and their families, and be like ok, here is the plan..but then I wonder if I would be upset with myself that I didn't do the wedding like as a little girl you dream about.
It was the suggestion of his speech therapist to put him a group setting to get him to work his brain in a group setting. To put him in situations since that's what it will be like when he gets back to work. I try to keep in a simple setting as best I can, but with the guidance of his doctors and speech therapist.
He does let me know when it's too much and we do leave. We work for the same company and they have been nothing but awesome when it comes to making sure that he gets to all his appointments when I need to be there.
I'm still coming to terms with understanding how this all happened to him. Hearing his doctors tell us that he shouldn't have survived the burst anyersum, or the strokes. Then to find out he had a second anyserusm that didn't burst, to survive that. And to be where he is now, is what the doctors have told us nothing short of a miracle.
We are very lucky that he didn't lose any mobility physically, that he still has his personality, that what we are contending with his brain healing from what damage the strokes did. We do focus on that a lot. It's a celebration that he made it, that we made it.
We are waiting until next year to get married.
I do have to say Thank You to everyone because you do put me in my place and make me realize that there are days where I'm stressing myself out and don't need to. That I need to remember where my priorities are, I have those days where I forget it, and do need to be reminded about it.
I have been keeping my random thoughts to myself by writing them down in a notebook, then looking back and them and going yeah that was better on paper then anywhere else.
And then there are times when I need this cause yes sometimes I think I do need it.