Update the talk happened. I need some serious advice from strangers.

Re: Update the talk happened. I need some serious advice from strangers.

• novella1186 member

  

  February 2015

  OP, I think you're being incredibly strong, and you're doing a good job. I think the other knotties have continued to give you excellent advice, and there's nothing I could add to it, so I just wanted to tell you that you are brave, and strong, and I admire that. You really deserve to be happy. Just remember to love yourself and put yourself first, no matter where things go with this.
  

  

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• ashley8918 member

  

  February 2015

  Dreamergirl8812 said:

  
  ETA: Are you eating and drinking enough water?
  

  You are just so sweet for thinking of this.

  
  

  OP, no matter what happens, make sure you are taking care of yourself.

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• manateehugger member

  

  February 2015

  My mother divorced my father after she found out he was cheating and years after that was diagnosed with HPV, which she received from him. I'm forever grateful that it didn't progress into cervical cancer before her doctors were able to diagnose and monitor it. Please get yourself tested.

  I'm going to channel my mother right now and tell you to take care of yourself first, OP. Try to save your marriage if you feel that's what you need to do - I respect your determination - but if saving it means you stop taking care of yourself, it's not worth saving. It's ok to put yourself first in this situation - don't tell yourself otherwise. My mother is the most selfless human being I know, but she would tell you that, right now, you deserve to put yourself first.

  Take care of yourself, OP. I'm sending thoughts and prayers your way.

  

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• flbride2015 member

  

  February 2015

  Having gone through something similar, I will say that the importnat thing that you're doing is seeing a counselor to see if you can get past this. Full disclosure isn't a guarantee. My ex and I had each other's passwords and unfettered access to each other's phones. He still managed to cheat by creating secret e-mail accounts and checking them from his office at work. I only found out because he brought his work laptop home and I happened to see his work e-mail. So in the end, what it will come down to is you being able to trust him again 100% with or without full disclosure.

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• melbenso member

  

  February 2015

  Wow.  I'm really sorry that you are having to go through this.  Good for you for confronting him though.  I hope counseling helps. Thinking of you....
  

  

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