I feel this may be a typical problem, Hollywood has made movies about it, but I can't keep wasting my energy....My MILTB is worse than Jane Fonda in Monster In Law (and I'm not exaggerating here). But I've gotten pretty good at letting what she says go in one ear and out the other with a smile on my face.
But the most recent issue is a pretty big one. We're getting married on the beach and the wedding colors are inspired by a coral reef. I really want my mom to wear a coral pink dress (which she has agreed to) because I think she would look great in it and she has always worn more muted colors and hasn't always stood out. I'm her only daughter so I want her to enjoy this time and be in the spotlight. When I discussed the color scheme with my MILTB, she said she likes coral, all of her clothes are that color (which I've never seen on her!) and that she is going to wear it to the wedding. I told her that she can wear whatever style of outfit she likes--dress, pant suit, skirt combo (which by the way she had a negative thing to say about each suggestions), and explain I want her to feel confidant and great in her outfit, but I'm VERY clear that MY mom will be wearing coral. And every time I suggest we go shopping together for her outfit, she says she is just going to buy an outfit in coral. Honestly, I wouldn't put this past her, especially with how she treats her sons (but that's another post!).
My parents are shelling out good money for our wedding, including our wedding pictures. She isn't. How can I make sure she wears the appropriate outfit and appropriate color so she will fit in with the wedding photos, without subcomming the the overwhelming feeling of wanting to strangle her in the process?!