Wedding Etiquette Forum

Future in-laws refuse to participate

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Re: Future in-laws refuse to participate

  • As my FI says "If the Bride and Groom sit down, you know you're in for the long haul." My Dad's side of the family is Catholic, yay full mass Catholic funerals and weddings! And I don't even get to participate because I'm not Catholic! Hooray!
    I was MOH in an OLD school full Catholic mass - B&G, MOH & BM all had to KNEEL the entire mass, except when the congregation stood. The chapel only had 4 padded kneeler, for those 4, everyone else had solid wood. It was spectacular!!! (Notice use of sarcasm font there)
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  • danamwdanamw member
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    edited February 2015
    As my FI says "If the Bride and Groom sit down, you know you're in for the long haul." My Dad's side of the family is Catholic, yay full mass Catholic funerals and weddings! And I don't even get to participate because I'm not Catholic! Hooray!
    I credit the Catholic Mass with my vivid imagination. I had to do something to entertain myself every Sunday with my class, and every day during Lent, that we had to attend Mass. I was once brought back to earth by a sharp slap from a nun, when I was so immersed in a story in my head. So I learned to spin a story, while keeping a pious expression on my face.
  • I can vividly remember braiding my hair during mass when I was an altar server (so, sitting up on the altar in front of the entire congregation)!! My mom did not let me forget it.
  • As my FI says "If the Bride and Groom sit down, you know you're in for the long haul." My Dad's side of the family is Catholic, yay full mass Catholic funerals and weddings! And I don't even get to participate because I'm not Catholic! Hooray!

    I was MOH in an OLD school full Catholic mass - B&G, MOH & BM all had to KNEEL the entire mass, except when the congregation stood. The chapel only had 4 padded kneeler, for those 4, everyone else had solid wood. It was spectacular!!! (Notice use of sarcasm font there)


    DH's knees hurt for days after our wedding. Kneeling through the entire Mass did suck.
  • edited June 2015
  • I was MOH in an OLD school full Catholic mass - B&G, MOH & BM all had to KNEEL the entire mass, except when the congregation stood. The chapel only had 4 padded kneeler, for those 4, everyone else had solid wood. It was spectacular!!! (Notice use of sarcasm font there)
    Oh please! ;-)  A full Catholic Mass is typically 45mins to an hour tops.

    I have been told by Jewish friends that they have certain religious ceremonies that last 4 hours minimum.  I don't think they have to deal with the medieval torture devices that are wooden kneelers, though.

    I had a full Catholic Mass, and I was under the impression that DH and I would be sitting. . . as I have seen in other Catholic Weddings.  Newp!  DH's church was one of the ones that makes the MOH, BM< and B & G kneel the whole damn time!  Whoops ><

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • I was MOH in an OLD school full Catholic mass - B&G, MOH & BM all had to KNEEL the entire mass, except when the congregation stood. The chapel only had 4 padded kneeler, for those 4, everyone else had solid wood. It was spectacular!!! (Notice use of sarcasm font there)



    Oh please! ;-)  A full Catholic Mass is typically 45mins to an hour tops.

    I have been told by Jewish friends that they have certain religious ceremonies that last 4 hours minimum.  I don't think they have to deal with the medieval torture devices that are wooden kneelers, though.

    I had a full Catholic Mass, and I was under the impression that DH and I would be sitting. . . as I have seen in other Catholic Weddings.  Newp!  DH's church was one of the ones that makes the MOH, BM< and B & G kneel the whole damn time!  Whoops ><


    There's always Yom Kippur, where you fast from the start of Kol Nidre (sundown) through Neilah (sundown the next day), which you have to stand through a good portion of (although people who can't stand aren't expected to do so).

    If a Catholic has a mobility or other physical issue that prevents kneeling, I take it that they aren't required to do so?
  • Jen4948 said:
    There's always Yom Kippur, where you fast from the start of Kol Nidre (sundown) through Neilah (sundown the next day), which you have to stand through a good portion of (although people who can't stand aren't expected to do so). 

     If a Catholic has a mobility or other physical issue that prevents kneeling, I take it that they aren't required to do so?
    That is correct. I was on crutches for 9 months with a knee injury.  No kneeling for me!!!!

     A lot of older people do not kneel.    The bad part is you can't sit back all the way because of the arms/hands of the kneelers behind you.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • ------------------- Lots of people will not party at all just before Easter. Whether they observe either 6 weeks of Lent, or just Holy Week (more common), this is a time they will not come even if nothing is on their calendar. Unfortunately, for years, many Protestant denominations which started in revolt against Catholicism, fed prejudice against Catholics and decried even entering what they termed, a papist church. Lots of older people still remember that, and it may take a little talking from FI to convince his mother that she can be an onlooker ( sit quietly and politely while others do the rituals) and not be expected to participate at all in the ceremony. Her role would be to witness it only. She may not realize it, and it could be one source of her discomfort.
    I just got a wild flash of deja vu when reading this post... with its old-school verbiage and history lessons.... WHO DO YOU REMIND ME OF?! It's on the tip of my tongue! Regs, help me out!
  • I just got a wild flash of deja vu when reading this post... with its old-school verbiage and history lessons.... WHO DO YOU REMIND ME OF?! It's on the tip of my tongue! Regs, help me out!
    Are you thinking of HisGirlFriday? I don't agree, necessarily, but I see what you're getting at.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • I just got a wild flash of deja vu when reading this post... with its old-school verbiage and history lessons.... WHO DO YOU REMIND ME OF?! It's on the tip of my tongue! Regs, help me out!

    "Around the block" something?
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  • kkitkat79 said:

    "Around the block" something?
    YES!!! ATB! The one who would reply to posts with the Etiquette Rules of 1812. Oh my lord. That was driving me crazy, I woke and kept trying to figure it out.

    @JCBride2015 HisGirlFriday never spoke of such weird stuff lol she was great, it's a shame she doesn't post anymore
  • Oh please! ;-)  A full Catholic Mass is typically 45mins to an hour tops.

    I have been told by Jewish friends that they have certain religious ceremonies that last 4 hours minimum.  I don't think they have to deal with the medieval torture devices that are wooden kneelers, though.

    I had a full Catholic Mass, and I was under the impression that DH and I would be sitting. . . as I have seen in other Catholic Weddings.  Newp!  DH's church was one of the ones that makes the MOH, BM< and B & G kneel the whole damn time!  Whoops ><

    FI and I are getting married in a Catholic chapel that requires the bride and groom + bm and moh to kneel the whole time too. I bought those thin volleyball kneepads to go under my dress and my MOH's dress. My FI isn't even warning his best man until the rehearsal though!

    Luckily for the guests all the kneelers are well padded at this chapel. And I think like 90% of our guests are catholic since its mostly family attending.

  • edited February 2015

    YES!!! ATB! The one who would reply to posts with the Etiquette Rules of 1812. Oh my lord. That was driving me crazy, I woke and kept trying to figure it out.

    @JCBride2015 HisGirlFriday never spoke of such weird stuff lol she was great, it's a shame she doesn't post anymore
    --------box

    Was ATB the one who argued for tiered weddings because Will and Kate's wedding was tiered?



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