Wedding Etiquette Forum

Etiquette: cancer, destination wedding, and NOT having a PPD

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Re: Etiquette: cancer, destination wedding, and NOT having a PPD

  • Hugs to you. I lost my mom to cancer 5 years before I got married so I have a lot of respect for wanting your dad to be apart of your day.


    My only suggestion is to look into hotels for a celebration post courthouse wedding. I worked at a hotel that had large rooms for receptions of 500 people but we also had smaller rooms for groups of 50 as well. and if your dad isn't feeling 100% it is somewhere he could be more comfortable then a restaurant.


    I also attended a reception a few years ago for a couple who just wanted to keep things small. They got married at a nice hotel in downtown of a smaller city. They used 1 small room to have the ceremony in and then upstairs they had like a rectangle room that had one long dinner table. There were 30-40 of us and it was very nice. They had a spot for a cake table and wine area and the small room had built in speakers and they connected a laptop to play some jazz type music during dinner and then more upbeat music for post dinner conversation. It was really simple and easy and couldn't have cost them that much.  and if you needed to based on dads situation, you could get him an actual hotel room to go to in between or whenever he wanted to just to relax.


    Also I can not stress enough that you should not make any decisions while still in shock of everything that has come down on you. 2 days after my mom died, I went to walmart to get some copies of pictures made and somehow I was there over 8 hours. I have no clue. Don't even remember it, but I was there. Then I left and left the original pictures sitting in the envelope on the photo machine.


    Whatever you do, make sure you have a photographer, or designated "photographer" to get you lots of pictures with everyone, especially your dad. even if you are wearing jeans outside the courthouse, your going to want those pictures.


    My total opinion here, but I'd still go to the cabin with your friends, to celebrate that you are married, get way with your hubby, relax and clear your mind. especially if you think you dad will be gone by the time you are supposed to go, it may be just what you need.



    Best wishes to you and your family during this rough time.


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