Inviting to drinks and dancing portion of the reception

MGP · February 2015

Ditto to the cash bar speculation.

Did anyone also catch that the OP says she is inviting 20 coworkers but says nothing about SO's? Because I would rather poke my own eyes out than spend my Saturday night alone with coworkers I probably don't know well as afterthought tiered guests for a coworkers probable cash bar gift grab wedding.

floridabride44 · February 2015

Also, what if dinner takes forever and runs long, and then the coworkers show up while people are still eating. HOW UNCOMFORTABLE. Are they forced to wait outside until everyone is done eating? Do they awkwardly linger in the doorway? Will there even be seats for them anywhere?

Just say no to tiered receptions.

huskypuppy14 · February 2015

MGP said:

Ditto to the cash bar speculation.

Did anyone also catch that the OP says she is inviting 20 coworkers but says nothing about SO's? Because I would rather poke my own eyes out than spend my Saturday night alone with coworkers I probably don't know well as afterthought tiered guests for a coworkers probable cash bar gift grab wedding.

I'd bet my retirement fund she isn't having seats for everyone, SO are not invited, and she is having a cash bar.

traditionallyuntraditional · February 2015

You could mail them an application to be your bartender or DJ, because there is really no polite way to do what your asking.

MyNameIsNot · February 2015

What kind of person could actually treat people this way? Outside of being extremely rude, this is so outrageously mean!

You know, if you would be ok with treating people like this, you deserve to have this sort of thing follow you around in your career. There are plenty of qualified potential employees out there who can take the future oppotunities you don't get because you think it's funny to behave like a bitchy cheerleader to your coworkers.

larabelleb · February 2015

Well...since you have already invited them, it sounds like you are in a sticky situation. I am not saying it is rude or it isn't rude to be doing this, I am just trying to help you make the best of the situation you are in. Which to be honest, is hard to do because I do not know the full story. If they are simply not invited to the whole thing because of monetary reasons, but you are trying to include them, or If you just don't know them that well and don't want them at your wedding but they tried inviting themselves to it or what the situation is. Also I am not sure where you are having your wedding or how formal it is, so that also makes it hard to make suggestions. I would not really give them a formal invite since they are not being invited to the full wedding. I would possibly pick a time that is 45 mins or so after you feel the dancing is supposed to start and tell them that is the starting time in case things run late then it won't be as awkward. Also, if possible, I would try to do something special with the co-workers but whatever you do it has to be heartfelt. Maybe on your last day of work before your wedding (assuming this is an office job that runs approx 9 to 5) maybe you could order pizza or chinese food for the office and let everyone know that you look forward to have them help you celebrate on your big day and you wish you could invite them to the whole thing but due to restrictions it wouldn't work. (Again, hard to give suggestions without having the whole story.) Whatever you do or say does have to be true and does have to be heartfelt or people will see right through it and you will end up in an even stickier situation. Personally, if I was invited to only the dancing portion and I liked you as a co-worker, I would be understanding and happy to go. Likewise, if I wasn't close, I would probably ignore the invite and not come. As far as invitation goes, I would go the FB invite or email route, possibly verbally tell them when to come. Again, not saying it isn't rude or that it is rude. Just trying to help you with the situation you are in. Good Luck!

southernbelle0915 · February 2015

larabelleb said:
Well...since you have already invited them, it sounds like you are in a sticky situation. I am not saying it is rude or it isn't rude to be doing this, I am just trying to help you make the best of the situation you are in. Which to be honest, is hard to do because I do not know the full story. If they are simply not invited to the whole thing because of monetary reasons, but you are trying to include them, or If you just don't know them that well and don't want them at your wedding but they tried inviting themselves to it or what the situation is. Also I am not sure where you are having your wedding or how formal it is, so that also makes it hard to make suggestions. I would not really give them a formal invite since they are not being invited to the full wedding. I would possibly pick a time that is 45 mins or so after you feel the dancing is supposed to start and tell them that is the starting time in case things run late then it won't be as awkward. Also, if possible, I would try to do something special with the co-workers but whatever you do it has to be heartfelt. Maybe on your last day of work before your wedding (assuming this is an office job that runs approx 9 to 5) maybe you could order pizza or chinese food for the office and let everyone know that you look forward to have them help you celebrate on your big day and you wish you could invite them to the whole thing but due to restrictions it wouldn't work. (Again, hard to give suggestions without having the whole story.) Whatever you do or say does have to be true and does have to be heartfelt or people will see right through it and you will end up in an even stickier situation. Personally, if I was invited to only the dancing portion and I liked you as a co-worker, I would be understanding and happy to go. Likewise, if I wasn't close, I would probably ignore the invite and not come. As far as invitation goes, I would go the FB invite or email route, possibly verbally tell them when to come. Again, not saying it isn't rude or that it is rude. Just trying to help you with the situation you are in. Good Luck!

NO.

mikenberger · February 2015

larabelleb said:
Well...since you have already invited them, it sounds like you are in a sticky situation. I am not saying it is rude or it isn't rude to be doing this, I am just trying to help you make the best of the situation you are in. Which to be honest, is hard to do because I do not know the full story. If they are simply not invited to the whole thing because of monetary reasons, but you are trying to include them, or If you just don't know them that well and don't want them at your wedding but they tried inviting themselves to it or what the situation is. Also I am not sure where you are having your wedding or how formal it is, so that also makes it hard to make suggestions. I would not really give them a formal invite since they are not being invited to the full wedding. I would possibly pick a time that is 45 mins or so after you feel the dancing is supposed to start and tell them that is the starting time in case things run late then it won't be as awkward. Also, if possible, I would try to do something special with the co-workers but whatever you do it has to be heartfelt. Maybe on your last day of work before your wedding (assuming this is an office job that runs approx 9 to 5) maybe you could order pizza or chinese food for the office and let everyone know that you look forward to have them help you celebrate on your big day and you wish you could invite them to the whole thing but due to restrictions it wouldn't work. (Again, hard to give suggestions without having the whole story.) Whatever you do or say does have to be true and does have to be heartfelt or people will see right through it and you will end up in an even stickier situation. Personally, if I was invited to only the dancing portion and I liked you as a co-worker, I would be understanding and happy to go. Likewise, if I wasn't close, I would probably ignore the invite and not come. As far as invitation goes, I would go the FB invite or email route, possibly verbally tell them when to come. Again, not saying it isn't rude or that it is rude. Just trying to help you with the situation you are in. Good Luck!

She's in a sticky situation because she's attempting to do a jerk thing (note: I did not call the OP a jerk. I called her actions jerky.) to her coworkers. She doesn't have to invite them, but if she choose to, she needs to invite them to the whole thing. They are GUESTS not half guests. They should be invited to all of it.

Inviting to drinks and dancing portion of the reception

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