Wedding Reception Forum

Reception on different day than ceremony

Hi. We decided to have a private wedding ceremony with our intermediate family out of state but we still want to celebrate with our friends when we get back home 1 week later. We know location, budget, etc. but we were wondering how to get the word out. Do we send invitations for just the reception? Or just word of mouth? What do y'all think? 
"It's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, everyday."
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Re: Reception on different day than ceremony

  • Please tell me you are hosting something for your family that is traveling to your wedding ceremony. That, the hosted event immediately following your ceremony, is your wedding reception. The additional event you are planning is a party celebrating your recent marriage. You would treat it the way you would other parties. As it is not a wedding reception, you shouldn't have typical wedding trappings (except cake as cake is ALWAYS a good thing).

    @CMGragain is good at wording for invitations like this.
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • J&T=1207 said:
    Hi. We decided to have a private wedding ceremony with our intermediate family out of state but we still want to celebrate with our friends when we get back home 1 week later. We know location, budget, etc. but we were wondering how to get the word out. Do we send invitations for just the reception? Or just word of mouth? What do y'all think? 
    1st, a reception immediately follows your wedding ceremony and it is hosted by the Bride and Groom for their guests in order to thank them for attending the wedding ceremony.  So, you have to host something following your ceremony for your immediate family who are attending your wedding.  It can be a simple cake and punch affair, taking everyone out to dinner, etc.

    2nd, the event that you want to throw once you get home will be a party, not a reception as it will not directly follow your wedding.  Send out invitations to your guests for a Celebration of the Marriage of Your Names.  And it's frowned upon around here to have a wedding party, recite vows, do spotlight dances, bouquet/grater tosses, etc. at this type of party.  You can certainly have a cake and cut it, but leave out all of the other wedding type things as you are already married.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • It's not technically a reception. A reception is where you "receive" your guests and thank them for attending your wedding ceremony. 

    You're just throwing a party to celebrate your recent marriage. That said, you wouldn't pretend it's a wedding reception (no first dances, wedding cake, cake cutting, wedding dress, etc.). I would just get a fabulous cocktail dress, get a DJ, serve an awesome meal/drinks and party.

    For the people traveling for the actual wedding, you should have a reception. Since it's just a small group, it would probably work well to just take them out to dinner at a local restaurant. You might even look into small, private rooms.
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  • That is not a reception.  You are talking about having a "celebration of marriage."  You should not do vows, have first dances, etc.  You can send out invitations for it. 

    A reception is a thank you for the guests that attended the ceremony.  You "receive" your guests directly after the ceremony.  You absolutely need to have one for your private ceremony.  It doesn't have to be big, but at the very least you need to take your family out to dinner and pay for it. 


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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited February 2015
    You are inviting people to a party to celebrate your wedding.  First, you should send out formal wedding announcements to everybody after your ceremony.  Have them addressed, stamped and ready to mail.

    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    announce their marriage
    date of ceremony
    City, State

    Now you can invite people to a party.

    The pleasure of your company is requested
    to celebrate the recent marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    Date
    time
    Location of party

    You should not expect gifts.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • A party held to celebrate the couple's marriage, with no re-enactment or bridal party, gowns etc., may still properly be called a reception. Just not a wedding reception.
    My stepmother is a caterer in Maine, my BIL now runs my grandfather's hundred year old printing business , my sister is an innkeeper. They all do a variety of receptions. Receptions to introduce new University presidents or new clergy, receptions for people who have had any special event from receiving an academic award to a Nobel Prize, they long ago handled traveling royalty, and dignitaries.

    For a century these 3 businesses have also done receptions for couples who have married some distance away, even abroad, who have returned to the area where one or both have grown up, or have family now. A reception is a party to introduce someone and welcome them, or to celebrate an event including a marriage .

    A different party than the wedding reception, it is for the married couple , and any etiquette book, dictionary, printers' reference, or hospitality management text for a century will call this a reception. Usually complete with the couple , NO WP, and often the local family, in a receiving line or mingling in a reception area. Some kind of food and beverage served.

    If one half of the couple is new to the area, this may also be when that person is first introduced to family and family friends in the area.

    In addition to @CMGragain‌ 's very proper invitation example for a reception to celebrate a marriage, sometimes a more public notice, posted in a church or printed in a newspaper, may invite all townspeople or church members if it is an open, not invitation only, style reception.

    This public notice would state that a reception will be held at Location on Date at Time, to celebrate the marriage of COUPLE WITH TITLES AND NAMES USED AFTER MARRIAGE.

    Since no gifts are ever given for such an event, and it is not part of the wedding at all, there are no issues about registries, or who was invited to a wedding, and no one accepts gifts or envelopes. There are no hostess gifts either, even if held by the parents or grandparents at a large home or estate.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2015

    A party held to celebrate the couple's marriage, with no re-enactment or bridal party, gowns etc., may still properly be called a reception. Just not a wedding reception.
    My stepmother is a caterer in Maine, my BIL now runs my grandfather's hundred year old printing business , my sister is an innkeeper. They all do a variety of receptions. Receptions to introduce new University presidents or new clergy, receptions for people who have had any special event from receiving an academic award to a Nobel Prize, they long ago handled traveling royalty, and dignitaries.

    For a century these 3 businesses have also done receptions for couples who have married some distance away, even abroad, who have returned to the area where one or both have grown up, or have family now. A reception is a party to introduce someone and welcome them, or to celebrate an event including a marriage .

    A different party than the wedding reception, it is for the married couple , and any etiquette book, dictionary, printers' reference, or hospitality management text for a century will call this a reception. Usually complete with the couple , NO WP, and often the local family, in a receiving line or mingling in a reception area. Some kind of food and beverage served.

    If one half of the couple is new to the area, this may also be when that person is first introduced to family and family friends in the area.

    In addition to @CMGragain‌ 's very proper invitation example for a reception to celebrate a marriage, sometimes a more public notice, posted in a church or printed in a newspaper, may invite all townspeople or church members if it is an open, not invitation only, style reception.

    This public notice would state that a reception will be held at Location on Date at Time, to celebrate the marriage of COUPLE WITH TITLES AND NAMES USED AFTER MARRIAGE.

    Since no gifts are ever given for such an event, and it is not part of the wedding at all, there are no issues about registries, or who was invited to a wedding, and no one accepts gifts or envelopes. There are no hostess gifts either, even if held by the parents or grandparents at a large home or estate.

    Nope. If you invite anyone to witness your ceremony, you must then host them immediately afterward. That is your "wedding reception."

    Anything held on a subsequent day is not a "wedding reception." It is a "celebration." And it is not appropriate to reenact the ceremony with a vow exchange or have other wedding-related events at a "celebration" on a subsequent day because the wedding has already taken place. The couple are no longer "bride" and "groom."
  • For the party in your home town, it would be good to send invites to your "Celebration of our Marriage" event. And no harm in asking them to RSVP either, this way you have a head count and know how much food & beverages to plan for. Make the invite to this event as formal or casual as you want based on the tone you want to set for the event. If you are having some photos done at the ceremony, even if by a family member, if you can, have some of them developed at your local drug store & frame them & display them. I'm sure your friends back home would love to see how beautiful you looked on your wedding day. The other plus to sending invites, people have a tendency to put those in a place like on the fridge as a reminder for the event. Congrats on your upcoming ceremony & day with your family & have a great time celebrating with your friends too.
  • Jen4948 said:
    A party held to celebrate the couple's marriage, with no re-enactment or bridal party, gowns etc., may still properly be called a reception. Just not a wedding reception. My stepmother is a caterer in Maine, my BIL now runs my grandfather's hundred year old printing business , my sister is an innkeeper. They all do a variety of receptions. Receptions to introduce new University presidents or new clergy, receptions for people who have had any special event from receiving an academic award to a Nobel Prize, they long ago handled traveling royalty, and dignitaries. For a century these 3 businesses have also done receptions for couples who have married some distance away, even abroad, who have returned to the area where one or both have grown up, or have family now. A reception is a party to introduce someone and welcome them, or to celebrate an event including a marriage . A different party than the wedding reception, it is for the married couple , and any etiquette book, dictionary, printers' reference, or hospitality management text for a century will call this a reception. Usually complete with the couple , NO WP, and often the local family, in a receiving line or mingling in a reception area. Some kind of food and beverage served. If one half of the couple is new to the area, this may also be when that person is first introduced to family and family friends in the area. In addition to @CMGragain‌ 's very proper invitation example for a reception to celebrate a marriage, sometimes a more public notice, posted in a church or printed in a newspaper, may invite all townspeople or church members if it is an open, not invitation only, style reception. This public notice would state that a reception will be held at Location on Date at Time, to celebrate the marriage of COUPLE WITH TITLES AND NAMES USED AFTER MARRIAGE. Since no gifts are ever given for such an event, and it is not part of the wedding at all, there are no issues about registries, or who was invited to a wedding, and no one accepts gifts or envelopes. There are no hostess gifts either, even if held by the parents or grandparents at a large home or estate.
    Nope. If you invite anyone to witness your ceremony, you must then host them immediately afterward. That is your "wedding reception." Anything held on a subsequent day is not a "wedding reception." It is a "celebration." And it is not appropriate to reenact the ceremony with a vow exchange or have other wedding-related events at a "celebration" on a subsequent day because the wedding has already taken place. The couple are no longer "bride" and "groom."
    @Jen4948 Did you actually read her post?
  • flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited February 2015
    I don't believe that having the ceremony on a different day then the wedding is a bad idea the hardest part for me was finding a (EDIT) that was fitting for both! Its so hard to find venues in Vancouver that can fit the size of a medium ceremony it seems its either to small or to big... Finding venues in Vancouver is the hardest especially if your on a budget! Now try to find a decent (EDIT) on a budget!    

    What on earth is this post? Is it a vendor?

    And yes, for all the reasons outlined above, it is a bad idea. The wedding is the ceremony, when you are wed, and a reception must immediately follow, where you to receive and host any guests who were kind enough to attend your ceremony.


    EDIT - edited by moderator

  • My brother and sister in law did just this. Their actual wedding was on Friday night at their house. They had drinks and appetizers afterward.  It was super informal but actually really nice!  They did NOT send out invitations for this.  It was literally just parents, siblings and their spouses, and grandparents.  Honestly, I think it would've been a little weird had they sent out invitation, being that it was all the people they are closest to and talk to almost on a daily basis.

    The next night, on Saturday, they had a party for about 150 people.  They did send out invitations and called it a "wedding party".  They did have a cake, but it wasn't technically a wedding cake.  They did not do vows, speeches, or any other formalities. No matter what they called it, people brought gifts.  Everyone knew they had just been married.

  • One more note, I know a lot of people say you should not wear a wedding dress to the second event, but my sister in law wore her wedding dress both days.  I thought both events were really nice, and it was fun celebrating two nights in a row!

  • One more note, I know a lot of people say you should not wear a wedding dress to the second event, but my sister in law wore her wedding dress both days.  I thought both events were really nice, and it was fun celebrating two nights in a row!

    Yea, for you. Not for the 150 other people who weren't invited the actual wedding.

                                                                     

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  •  They got to celebrate and have fun with the bride and groom the next night.  I don't think there is anything wrong with having a small wedding if that is what you want, and having a separate party on a different day to celebrate with others afterward.
  •  They got to celebrate and have fun with the bride and groom the next night.  I don't think there is anything wrong with having a small wedding if that is what you want, and having a separate party on a different day to celebrate with others afterward.
    Because you were part of the Chosen Ones. I doubt the second string family and friends shared your enthusiasm.
  • I'll be sure to let my brother know your thoughts on his wedding.
  • Nobody cares if you tell your brother. The responses to past events are to prevent lurkers and others reading the thread from being jerks to their guests.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • It's called sarcasim.  
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited February 2015
    Are you trying to play to my emotions by revealing it was your brother? I don't know him, so I really don't give a flying fuck if you DO tell him. 

    Perhaps it will be the one honest opinion he hears about how rude it was to invite his second class relatives and friends to a consolation party.

    One of my cousins did the same thing. He invited a few family members to the wedding and then had another "reception" with a completely separate invitation list the following weekend. When I attended a family wedding a few weeks beforehand, many people at our table complained that they were invited to the party but not the wedding and would have appreciated being invited to the wedding too. 

    They were more hurt and confused than they would have been had they simply not been invited to the wedding. Everyone understands not everyone can be invited to a wedding; it's the consolation party that drives the knife home.

    Consolation parties are lame.
  • It's called sarcasim.  

    No shit. You missed my point, Sherlock. Also, it is spelled sarcasm.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Jen4948 said:
    A party held to celebrate the couple's marriage, with no re-enactment or bridal party, gowns etc., may still properly be called a reception. Just not a wedding reception. My stepmother is a caterer in Maine, my BIL now runs my grandfather's hundred year old printing business , my sister is an innkeeper. They all do a variety of receptions. Receptions to introduce new University presidents or new clergy, receptions for people who have had any special event from receiving an academic award to a Nobel Prize, they long ago handled traveling royalty, and dignitaries. For a century these 3 businesses have also done receptions for couples who have married some distance away, even abroad, who have returned to the area where one or both have grown up, or have family now. A reception is a party to introduce someone and welcome them, or to celebrate an event including a marriage . A different party than the wedding reception, it is for the married couple , and any etiquette book, dictionary, printers' reference, or hospitality management text for a century will call this a reception. Usually complete with the couple , NO WP, and often the local family, in a receiving line or mingling in a reception area. Some kind of food and beverage served. If one half of the couple is new to the area, this may also be when that person is first introduced to family and family friends in the area. In addition to @CMGragain‌ 's very proper invitation example for a reception to celebrate a marriage, sometimes a more public notice, posted in a church or printed in a newspaper, may invite all townspeople or church members if it is an open, not invitation only, style reception. This public notice would state that a reception will be held at Location on Date at Time, to celebrate the marriage of COUPLE WITH TITLES AND NAMES USED AFTER MARRIAGE. Since no gifts are ever given for such an event, and it is not part of the wedding at all, there are no issues about registries, or who was invited to a wedding, and no one accepts gifts or envelopes. There are no hostess gifts either, even if held by the parents or grandparents at a large home or estate.
    Nope. If you invite anyone to witness your ceremony, you must then host them immediately afterward. That is your "wedding reception." Anything held on a subsequent day is not a "wedding reception." It is a "celebration." And it is not appropriate to reenact the ceremony with a vow exchange or have other wedding-related events at a "celebration" on a subsequent day because the wedding has already taken place. The couple are no longer "bride" and "groom."
    @Jen4948 Did you actually read her post?
    @jacobsmawedding, did YOU read any posts in this forum on the subject (there are many) before you decided to snottily demand of me whether or not I actually read her post?

    It is recommended that you lurk before you make any such fucking demands in response to posts telling people who want to have a "reception" on a subsequent day and read those threads all the way through.
  • No, I said in my first response it was my brother's wedding.  What can I say, I suppose your family is more uptight than mine.  With that said, cheers and have an excellent evening.
  • No, I said in my first response it was my brother's wedding.  What can I say, I suppose your family is more uptight than mine.  With that said, cheers and have an excellent evening.
    I'm not sure how following proper etiquette makes one "uptight", but if that's the case, it's better than being rude.

    Also, be very careful with the way you phrase things. Calling someone's family uptight borders on a personal attack, which violates the TOS. (Your passive-aggressive "cheers and have an excellent evening" does not make it better and gets a pretty heavy eye-roll from me.)
  • edited February 2015
    Wow..thanks for the warning! I wouldn't want to get a demerit!!  Who could live without this knot board?!!? Whatever would I do on a Friday night!!?  Or Saturday night for that matter!!  How will I know the proper etiquette for a wedding and how to properly "host" my guests??  How will I figure out what colors go together or what theme my wedding should be?  How will I pick the PERFECT favors or find the PERFECT centerpieces at my wedding? How will I ask a simple question and get verbally abused by hundreds of women hiding behind the anonymity of their computer screens and the overused excuse of "we're just trying to help you, so it doesn't matter if we are acting in a way that would horrify our own mothers if they stumbled upon our vicious responses online"?  How will I...well you get the picture :-)
  • Wow..thanks for the warning! I wouldn't want to get a demerit!!  Who could live without this knot board?!!? Whatever would I do on a Friday night!!?  Or Saturday night for that matter!!  How will I know the proper etiquette for a wedding and how to properly "host" my guests??  How will I figure out what colors go together or what theme my wedding should be?  How will I pick the PERFECT favors or find the PERFECT centerpieces at my wedding? How will I ask a simple question and get verbally abused by hundreds of women hiding behind the anonymity of their computer screens and the overused excuse of "we're just trying to help you, so it doesn't matter if we are acting in a way that would horrify our own mothers if they stumbled upon our vicious responses online"?  How will I...well you get the picture :-)
    Yawn.....
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  • What an eloquent and creative response.  Nice job!  Your grade school writing teacher would be proud.  Wink ;-)

  • What an eloquent and creative response.  Nice job!  Your grade school writing teacher would be proud.  Wink ;-)

    You weren't even officially warned, so you can calm down and stop lashing out at everyone any time now.

    Also, your "eloquent and creative" tantrum above doesn't exactly rank your maturity much above grade school yourself.
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  • I don't care about being warned.  That was the point of my post.  Your reading comprehension skills clearly need to be sharpened as well.
  • I don't care about being warned.  That was the point of my post.  Your reading comprehension skills clearly need to be sharpened as well.
    Yeah, we're the rude ones.
  • I don't care about being warned.  That was the point of my post.  Your reading comprehension skills clearly need to be sharpened as well.

    Yea, the fact that you keep coming back definitely shows you don't care... And how often you're active on TK also really shows how much you don't care...
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