Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Chit Chat
Chit Chat
New Discussion

What kind of gift do you buy for a second marriage?

2»

Re: What kind of gift do you buy for a second marriage?

  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    lolo883 said:
    climbingwife said:
    The only time second baby showers bother me is when someone is having a baby of the same sex right after they just had one. Case in point: I was invited to a baby shower for a second boy that was going to be born less than 18 months after the first boy was born. I just gave you a whole bunch of presents a few months ago. Can't you reuse at least some of it? 
    Wouldn't it bother you if it was a girl though? They don't need THAT MUCH different stuff, and Jenna's right - if you registered for all blue stuff the first time and just can't fathom the thought of  your precious princess sleeping in blue pajamas, that is your own damn fault. 
    I agree. There is absolutely no reason to have a second baby shower.

    My friend is due any day with her third child. They didn't find out the sex this time ,and have 2 girls already. She said if they have a boy, he won't know or care if he comes home in a pink onesie. And I think all their big baby stuff is white. 

    She also knows her parents and her ILs will get them clothes if the child is a boy. 

    I have no problem with sprinkles for second children, where the mom does not register. I've been to  a couple and we usually just get diapers and stuff that any baby needs. 
    image
    image

    image


    Report Reply
  • princessofgenoviaprincessofgenovia member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    lolo883 said:
    princessofgenovia said:
    nhultberg461 said:
    I had a second baby shower, and recieved gifts. My first child is a girl and my second was a boy, so I needed some different items, but most of the stuff I had the first time still worked. I think it depends on the family too. 
    Ok not to totally derail the thread but...WTF does a baby boy need that a baby girl doesn't need? I've heard this before and I've never been able to figure it out. All the baby shit I see is pretty universal. 
    Don't you know, it turns the baby gay if they nap in the wrong color bouncy seat.
    I knew I should've blamed my parents when I came home with my first girlfriend.

    "It's your fault mom and dad! I had a blue and green stroller! It's all your fault!!"
    Report Reply
  • nhultberg461nhultberg461 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its
    princessofgenovia said:
    lolo883 said:
    princessofgenovia said:
    nhultberg461 said:
    I had a second baby shower, and recieved gifts. My first child is a girl and my second was a boy, so I needed some different items, but most of the stuff I had the first time still worked. I think it depends on the family too. 
    Ok not to totally derail the thread but...WTF does a baby boy need that a baby girl doesn't need? I've heard this before and I've never been able to figure it out. All the baby shit I see is pretty universal. 
    Don't you know, it turns the baby gay if they nap in the wrong color bouncy seat.
    I knew I should've blamed my parents when I came home with my first girlfriend.

    "It's your fault mom and dad! I had a blue and green stroller! It's all your fault!!"


    I had actually given away most of the baby clothes, I hadn't planned on having a second child until my daughter was 3, and well as we all know things change. We did go buy everything we would have needed regardless of the second baby shower.

    For my second marriage I really don't want gifts, or even cash. I just want everyone to have a good time and celebrate us as a couple coming together.

    Report Reply
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    lolo883 said:
    climbingwife said:
    The only time second baby showers bother me is when someone is having a baby of the same sex right after they just had one. Case in point: I was invited to a baby shower for a second boy that was going to be born less than 18 months after the first boy was born. I just gave you a whole bunch of presents a few months ago. Can't you reuse at least some of it? 
    Wouldn't it bother you if it was a girl though? They don't need THAT MUCH different stuff, and Jenna's right - if you registered for all blue stuff the first time and just can't fathom the thought of  your precious princess sleeping in blue pajamas, that is your own damn fault. 
    I do agree on that aspect. A lot of those clothes can be used for both. 
    Report Reply
  • nhultberg461nhultberg461 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its

    lolo883 - I totally understand what you are stating, I didn't ask to have a second shower, my mom threw both showers. I bought what I wanted for both babies. The things that people gave at the showers where what they wanted to give, now I will say that the 2nd shower was a lot smaller then the 1st shower. I didn't know 12 years ago that having a 2nd shower was not ok, I'm amazed at what I have learned by being on here.

    Can we go back to what OP was asking, regarding gifts/cash for 2nd wedding? Here is my question what if the bride/groom do not want either gifts or cash? How would that situation be handled, can you make a suggestion that in leui of gifts/cash, please make a donation to a charity of your choice instead? or something like that?

    Report Reply
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    nhultberg461 said:

    lolo883 - I totally understand what you are stating, I didn't ask to have a second shower, my mom threw both showers. I bought what I wanted for both babies. The things that people gave at the showers where what they wanted to give, now I will say that the 2nd shower was a lot smaller then the 1st shower. I didn't know 12 years ago that having a 2nd shower was not ok, I'm amazed at what I have learned by being on here.

    Can we go back to what OP was asking, regarding gifts/cash for 2nd wedding? Here is my question what if the bride/groom do not want either gifts or cash? How would that situation be handled, can you make a suggestion that in leui of gifts/cash, please make a donation to a charity of your choice instead? or something like that?

    No, if you do get cash, you can donate it yourself. You don't mention gifts at all.
    image
    image

    image


    Report Reply
  • nhultberg461nhultberg461 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its
    So leave any mention of gifts off all invitations and that should eliminate any confusions?
    Report Reply
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    nhultberg461 said:

    lolo883 - I totally understand what you are stating, I didn't ask to have a second shower, my mom threw both showers. I bought what I wanted for both babies. The things that people gave at the showers where what they wanted to give, now I will say that the 2nd shower was a lot smaller then the 1st shower. I didn't know 12 years ago that having a 2nd shower was not ok, I'm amazed at what I have learned by being on here.

    Can we go back to what OP was asking, regarding gifts/cash for 2nd wedding? Here is my question what if the bride/groom do not want either gifts or cash? How would that situation be handled, can you make a suggestion that in leui of gifts/cash, please make a donation to a charity of your choice instead? or something like that?

    Gifts should never be mentioned at all. Just bringing it up shows that you're thinking about gifts, and people often read into that that they really should give a gift. Think about if a friend invited you out for drinks to celebrate her birthday, then said "no gifts though, just want to hang out!" Then you think "oh crap, I wasn't even thinking of getting her a gift. But if she said no gifts, that means she assumes people would have brought a gift. But what if those people ignore if and still bring gifts and I'm the only one without one? Better bring something just in case."

    If the couple doesn't have a registry, most people will default to cash. The couple can then donate it if they choose to, but shouldn't tell people how to spend their money.
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    nhultberg461 said:
    So leave any mention of gifts off all invitations and that should eliminate any confusions?
    You never should mention gifts on the invitations ever. There shouldn't be any confusion; if someone asks what you want, you say you don't need anything. Most likely, people will gift you money, and you are free to do what you want with it. 

    If people give you a physical gift, you still need to graciously accept it, and give a prompt thank you note. Then you can do whatever you want with it (donate, keep, give to someone else, throw away).
    image
    image

    image


    Report Reply
  • nhultberg461nhultberg461 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its
    Ok so my confusion is coming in where I'm hearing people are putting their registries on their invites. I'm getting the feeling that is extremely tacking and should not be done.
    Report Reply
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    nhultberg461 said:
    Ok so my confusion is coming in where I'm hearing people are putting their registries on their invites. I'm getting the feeling that is extremely tacking and should not be done.
    Yes, people do it, but it's not appropriate. It's tacky because you should never ask for gifts. 

    The only acceptable place to mention gifts is on the shower invite (which should be thrown by someone other than the bride) or a wedding website (though some don't even like that).
    image
    image

    image


    Report Reply
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited February 2015

    Eh, second baby showers don't really bother me, but I wouldn't be chipping in for big ticket items, though. Invitees are free to decline the shower invitation if they don't want to participate. I feel the same way about showers  and wedding gifts for second marriages.




     

                       
    Report Reply
  • SBminiSBmini member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    blabla89 said:
    SBmini said:
    I probably should have included this in the first post. They don't have a registry. Per their culture, wedding gifts are exclusively cash or jewelry. 
    What culture do they come from? I know you've mentioned your H's heritage before but can't remember what you said.
    He's Armenian. I'm not sure why- but it totally is not within the cultural norm to give gifts at weddings or even wedding showers. 
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards