Chit Chat

The shit show that was last night.

Ugh. Guys. I had to set up a party yesterday with (*ominous music*) JESSICA. When I said I'd help, I didn't realize I'd have to spend the whole day with her. 

Boss's boss decided to host a get-together for our department and the equivalent of our department at the competitive company that has acquired us. Jessica constantly sucks up to boss's boss and is pretty much her little pet, so she always gets put in charge of parties. And she really fucking sucks at is. EVERYONE in our group complains to me about what an awful job she does, to the point that some people refuse to even attend the parties anymore. 

First, boss's boss HATES spending money (so why she wanted to host this party is so far beyond me) so she told Jessica she was only allowed to order food for 30 people, even though she knew 60 people were coming. And Jessica could pick any caterer and any type of food in the world as long as it fit the budget. So what does she pick? Pulled pork, ribs, and chicken wings. No simple finger foods, no appetizers, nothing that's easy to eat. 

Turns out not having enough food was just fine, because most people didn't want to eat. It was the first time meeting our new counterparts, so there was a lot of hand-shaking, introductions, chatting, small talk, etc. Who wants to do that with BBQ sauce all over their hands and mouth? Who wants to be gnawing on ribs and chicken wings while they're trying to chat to new people and make a nice first impression? Several people commented to me that they were hungry but didn't want to eat the food that was there for those reasons. 

To make it worse, there were no tables to sit at, so somehow people needed to hold their plate, napkins, drink, and eat messy food with their hands, all at the same time. But wait it gets worse. There were purposely not enough chairs for people to sit in, so a lot of them had to stand up anyway. 

Backing up to the set-up, Jessica tells me she needs me to go with her to buy beverages. So we run to the store. Boss's boss has instructed her that we have a strict limit of 7 bottles of wine. For 60 people. And we're allowed to get 2 cases of bottled beer. And we also need soda, water, napkins, cups, etc, with a super tiny budget. Great. Well when I tell Jessica we need to buy water she gets shitty with me and rolls her eyes. I tell her not everyone drinks soda or wine or beer and then I drop a huge case of water in the cart before she can open her mouth again. Several people from my group had already complained to me that the beverage selection at our parties always sucks so bad because Jessica does such a shitty job (which was part of why I agreed to go with her to pick stuff out) and she never bothers to get diet soda or water. 

I tell her we need to grab a couple bottles of diet. So she grabs just 1 bottle, and it's caffeine-free diet cherry Coke. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's a pretty niche drink if that's the ONE and only diet soda you're getting. I threw a couple bottles of regular diet Coke into the cart and again she rolled her eyes at me. Well, fuck off to you too, Jessica. 

In the wine aisle, I actually yelled at her. She grabbed one of the huge bottles of white wine in a god-awful brand and I told her to put it back. She said "but there's more in the big bottles so we can drink more!" I said "That shit is embarrassing. That shit gives people ulcers and nightmares and I'm not serving it to people. Put it back!" I found some decent brands that were on sale so they were cheap enough to fit in our budget. This was our first impression on our new counterparts. I was not about to have shit wine. 

Then to the cup aisle. Jessica did not want to deal with real wine glasses (which is fine cuz that can be a pain in the ass for a big group). So the hill she was willing to die on? She wanted red solo cups for the wine. Not kidding. She REALLY wanted them to the point that I was not willing to stand there and fight over it. So yeah, we served wine in red solo cups. The first time we were meeting the people of the company that bought us, including our potential new boss. Cool. 

She claimed we needed the red solo cups because we were on a tight budget. She then spent $15 on her favorite brand of chocolate mints. K. Cool. 

I was honestly embarrassed to be a part of that mess. 

Jessica then says that boss's boss (who is a total tight-ass and scary as hell) told her that people are only allowed 2 drinks, maximum. I asked how she planned to enforce it. Turns out, Jessica is such a suck-up that she personally stalked the wine table and monitored people. I had some wine in my cup and the kitchen was so packed that I decided to go pour a little more into my cup and then get out of there to go to a less crowded room, and Jessica saw me pour it. I said "Don't worry, this is only the second time I've poured." She said (totally serious) "You're done now." I only had a cup and a half at that point but I was not about to try to get more wine and have her running to boss's boss tattling on me, so I stayed far away from the kitchen the rest of the night. Huge eye roll. 

Actually meeting the new people was fun. They were all really friendly and nice, and I had a good time chatting with them. As things started to wind down, a few friends and I decided to escape before Jessica could sucker us into staying late to clean everything up (which I had never been asked to do, and at that point I had been at the fucking party site for over 7 hours so I was beyond done, not to mention the fact that I hadn't even gotten to eat dinner yet thanks to her poor choice of food) and of course she got pissy with us for leaving but I quite frankly do not care. And on the plus side, she didn't mention my wedding once. 

I'm so happy that yesterday is over. 
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[Deleted User]
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Re: The shit show that was last night.

  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Goodness gracious. Maybe the new department will anoint a new party planner and not be as tight with the shoestrings!

    You deserve that wine for dealing with that crap! 
    ________________________________


    novella1186
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    Wow. She sounds like a class act.



    novella1186
  • can you get yourself removed from party planning committee? sounds like that might be better since I don't think you can get rid of Jessica from that gig (she sounds like someone I used to work with who would police things just like you said and act like it was her event because she shopped for it and set the stuff out)
    novella1186
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ugh.  On the bright side, at least there was some wine at this party.  I mean, you really needed all the wine, but some wine is better than no wine.


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    novella1186
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    And you're taking today off and looking for a new job? Jessica sounds like a blast. Or like that weasley monster character from Monsters.Inc.

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    novella1186
  • AprilH81AprilH81 Columbus, OH member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I'm a corporate event planner and that shit doesn't fly with me.  Jessica needs to find a job that better utilizes her skills, whatever those are.
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    novella1186KatieinBklnlittlepep
  • AprilH81 said:
    I'm a corporate event planner and that shit doesn't fly with me.  Jessica needs to find a job that better utilizes her skills, whatever those are.
    The funny thing is, I was talking to a couple people last night who are also fed up with her, and no one seems to know what it is she does. She's in my group and has the same title as me but we're supposed to cover different areas. Most of the time, she dumps all her projects and work on me. 

    When she sends me e-mails they're pretty much gibberish and I usually respond with "I don't know what you're trying to say." 

    The person I was talking to last night said she also doesn't understand the gibberish emails, and often gets requests from Jessica on stuff that JESSICA was supposed to be handling but seems to have no clue about. So.... no idea what her actual job is. 
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  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    AprilH81 said:
    I'm a corporate event planner and that shit doesn't fly with me.  Jessica needs to find a job that better utilizes her skills, whatever those are.
    The funny thing is, I was talking to a couple people last night who are also fed up with her, and no one seems to know what it is she does. She's in my group and has the same title as me but we're supposed to cover different areas. Most of the time, she dumps all her projects and work on me. 

    When she sends me e-mails they're pretty much gibberish and I usually respond with "I don't know what you're trying to say." 

    The person I was talking to last night said she also doesn't understand the gibberish emails, and often gets requests from Jessica on stuff that JESSICA was supposed to be handling but seems to have no clue about. So.... no idea what her actual job is. 
    Every company has one or two of those. They only get by with a permanent brown spot on their nose. At my old company, we had a guy and his only job - that we could discern was to go to every office (we had 14 including international ones) and be our Don King. He was just a hype man. But he had done it for Google, Microsoft, Amazon...

    Kind of jealous of that guy. Not gonna lie. It was out of control. He also had a company CC with, what appeared to be, unlimited spending.

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  • Oh man. I remember you mentioning this in my Monday thread yesterday and thinking, "Lord have mercy." This was even worse than I could imagine. Why does she like planning parties so much if they're so awful? Generally one enjoys doing something that they are good at. There's no way she mistakes herself for a good party planner, unless she's insane.

    Oh. Wait...
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    novella1186
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Was there a ton of food leftover too?  I'm sure boss' boss was thrilled that her money went to waste on the food!  I'd probably try to wrestle away the parties away from Jessica, but that's just me.  I am good at planning parties, especially on a budget!  But otherwise, I would stay far away!

    Did Jessica want to buy Boone's Farm?

  • Was there a ton of food leftover too?  I'm sure boss' boss was thrilled that her money went to waste on the food!  I'd probably try to wrestle away the parties away from Jessica, but that's just me.  I am good at planning parties, especially on a budget!  But otherwise, I would stay far away!

    Did Jessica want to buy Boone's Farm?

    Everyone in the office is heating up the leftovers for lunch right now. 

    And I don't want to offend anyone because I know some people genuinely enjoy drinking the less expensive brands and that's fine, but she wanted Boone's Farm, Sutter Home, and Barefoot. 
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    thisismynickname2
  • Oh man. I remember you mentioning this in my Monday thread yesterday and thinking, "Lord have mercy." This was even worse than I could imagine. Why does she like planning parties so much if they're so awful? Generally one enjoys doing something that they are good at. There's no way she mistakes herself for a good party planner, unless she's insane.

    Oh. Wait...
    The grouchy lady from our office has straight-up told Jessica-- many times, that the food she chooses for the parties is always awful, literally makes people sick (myself included), and she won't go to any more parties because Jessica does such a shitty job (and she hasn't been to one since). 

    Jessica's response was "Oh well, she's just crabby and you can't please everyone." and then she continued to go on doing a shitty job. 
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    mikenberger
  • Was there a ton of food leftover too?  I'm sure boss' boss was thrilled that her money went to waste on the food!  I'd probably try to wrestle away the parties away from Jessica, but that's just me.  I am good at planning parties, especially on a budget!  But otherwise, I would stay far away!

    Did Jessica want to buy Boone's Farm?

    Everyone in the office is heating up the leftovers for lunch right now. 

    And I don't want to offend anyone because I know some people genuinely enjoy drinking the less expensive brands and that's fine, but she wanted Boone's Farm, Sutter Home, and Barefoot. 
    Sutter Home makes my jaw hurt :(
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper

    Was there a ton of food leftover too?  I'm sure boss' boss was thrilled that her money went to waste on the food!  I'd probably try to wrestle away the parties away from Jessica, but that's just me.  I am good at planning parties, especially on a budget!  But otherwise, I would stay far away!

    Did Jessica want to buy Boone's Farm?

    Everyone in the office is heating up the leftovers for lunch right now. 

    And I don't want to offend anyone because I know some people genuinely enjoy drinking the less expensive brands and that's fine, but she wanted Boone's Farm, Sutter Home, and Barefoot. 
    Barefoot is one of two wines I actually know that I like (the other Cupcake). But I have ZERO wine knowledge. And if it's moscato I'll drink it regardless of brand. But I also warn people not to bother wasting expensive wine on me, I'm not a wine person, might as well just give me the cheap shit. 

    Now vodka? Don't be bringing that Gordon's and Popov shit around me. That shit will burn the lining of your esophagus. You might as well just drink rubbing alcohol.
    novella1186
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MagicInk said:

    Was there a ton of food leftover too?  I'm sure boss' boss was thrilled that her money went to waste on the food!  I'd probably try to wrestle away the parties away from Jessica, but that's just me.  I am good at planning parties, especially on a budget!  But otherwise, I would stay far away!

    Did Jessica want to buy Boone's Farm?

    Everyone in the office is heating up the leftovers for lunch right now. 

    And I don't want to offend anyone because I know some people genuinely enjoy drinking the less expensive brands and that's fine, but she wanted Boone's Farm, Sutter Home, and Barefoot. 
    Barefoot is one of two wines I actually know that I like (the other Cupcake). But I have ZERO wine knowledge. And if it's moscato I'll drink it regardless of brand. But I also warn people not to bother wasting expensive wine on me, I'm not a wine person, might as well just give me the cheap shit. 

    Now vodka? Don't be bringing that Gordon's and Popov shit around me. That shit will burn the lining of your esophagus. You might as well just drink rubbing alcohol.
    My Mom bought Burnett's once.  "It was $5.99!"  No, Mom, nothing good ever came from $5.99 vodka.  It was so bad I couldn't even dump it off at a house party.  SO drinks Popov and he doesn't understand why I'll refuse it. 


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    novella1186
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    What's kind of funny about the cheap wine thing... Everyone knows cheap wine. Many people will drink it because it's good enough and it's something to drink. But it's what it says about you.
    A movie night on the couch with my best friend? Bring on the $3 bottle of wine. A party to meet new coworkers? And the company springs for Boone's Farm? VERY poor impression. Maybe salvageable by pouring the stuff into decanters (like you'd have one there, right?) and hiding the evidence, but still. A company would be better off with a nice punch bowl of pink lemonade than having BF out on a table.
    ________________________________


    novella1186climbingsinglehuskypuppy14
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary

    Was there a ton of food leftover too?  I'm sure boss' boss was thrilled that her money went to waste on the food!  I'd probably try to wrestle away the parties away from Jessica, but that's just me.  I am good at planning parties, especially on a budget!  But otherwise, I would stay far away!

    Did Jessica want to buy Boone's Farm?

    Everyone in the office is heating up the leftovers for lunch right now. 

    And I don't want to offend anyone because I know some people genuinely enjoy drinking the less expensive brands and that's fine, but she wanted Boone's Farm, Sutter Home, and Barefoot. 
    WUT. Nobody of legal drinking age should be drinking Boone's Farm. 
    I almost think nobody who's graduated high school should be drinking it. I remember being about 19 or so and having a bit of it and thinking, "Nope. This is too sweet." This was back when I was drinking the sweetest Rieslings and Moscatos I could get my hands on, mind you. If I went to a company party and they served Boone's, I would be mortified. What's next, Four Loko in the board meetings?
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
    novella1186
  • Was there a ton of food leftover too?  I'm sure boss' boss was thrilled that her money went to waste on the food!  I'd probably try to wrestle away the parties away from Jessica, but that's just me.  I am good at planning parties, especially on a budget!  But otherwise, I would stay far away!

    Did Jessica want to buy Boone's Farm?

    Everyone in the office is heating up the leftovers for lunch right now. 

    And I don't want to offend anyone because I know some people genuinely enjoy drinking the less expensive brands and that's fine, but she wanted Boone's Farm, Sutter Home, and Barefoot. 
    I actually really love Sutter Home and Barefoot White Zin. I am 27 years old and not ashamed. However, I do think those are not the best choices for a work party like this.
  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 The Concrete Jungle member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm sorry, but that sounds like such a miserable party lol. Why do they still let Jessica plan these things?!

                                 Anniversary
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper

    Was there a ton of food leftover too?  I'm sure boss' boss was thrilled that her money went to waste on the food!  I'd probably try to wrestle away the parties away from Jessica, but that's just me.  I am good at planning parties, especially on a budget!  But otherwise, I would stay far away!

    Did Jessica want to buy Boone's Farm?

    Everyone in the office is heating up the leftovers for lunch right now. 

    And I don't want to offend anyone because I know some people genuinely enjoy drinking the less expensive brands and that's fine, but she wanted Boone's Farm, Sutter Home, and Barefoot. 
    WUT. Nobody of legal drinking age should be drinking Boone's Farm. 
    I almost think nobody who's graduated high school should be drinking it. I remember being about 19 or so and having a bit of it and thinking, "Nope. This is too sweet." This was back when I was drinking the sweetest Rieslings and Moscatos I could get my hands on, mind you. If I went to a company party and they served Boone's, I would be mortified. What's next, Four Loko in the board meetings?
    And now I want to try Boone's Farm.

    But see above, I like my sweet wine. I have no shame in mixing wine that is not sweet enough with 7up and grendeine until it tastes like a damn Shirley temple. So not a wine girl.
    flutteringinflEunoiaPhoenixInkdancer
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    MagicInk said:

    Was there a ton of food leftover too?  I'm sure boss' boss was thrilled that her money went to waste on the food!  I'd probably try to wrestle away the parties away from Jessica, but that's just me.  I am good at planning parties, especially on a budget!  But otherwise, I would stay far away!

    Did Jessica want to buy Boone's Farm?

    Everyone in the office is heating up the leftovers for lunch right now. 

    And I don't want to offend anyone because I know some people genuinely enjoy drinking the less expensive brands and that's fine, but she wanted Boone's Farm, Sutter Home, and Barefoot. 
    WUT. Nobody of legal drinking age should be drinking Boone's Farm. 
    I almost think nobody who's graduated high school should be drinking it. I remember being about 19 or so and having a bit of it and thinking, "Nope. This is too sweet." This was back when I was drinking the sweetest Rieslings and Moscatos I could get my hands on, mind you. If I went to a company party and they served Boone's, I would be mortified. What's next, Four Loko in the board meetings?
    And now I want to try Boone's Farm.

    But see above, I like my sweet wine. I have no shame in mixing wine that is not sweet enough with 7up and grendeine until it tastes like a damn Shirley temple. So not a wine girl.
    Try it and report back to us!

    It pretty much tasted like instant diabetes to me, even when I had no palette for dry wine whatsoever.
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
    novella1186[Deleted User]
  • lyndausvi said:
    Have you ever thought of doing LiveJournal blog?


    I'm all for venting and posting about general life stuff.  But in the last few weeks you have taken your posts to a blog level.    

    I know your are a writer and your family is little messed up.  It's just the amount of long posts you have created lately I can't help but wonder if you are using as test subjects.

    Maybe it's just me?  I have been a little grumpy lately.


    I'm definitely not using knotties as test subjects (I'm assuming you mean I'm testing out my writing on you guys to see if it would work out as a blog?) Nope. If I wanted to write a blog I'd just do it without tests. I don't even get what I would need to test? 

    I know I tend to have long posts-- it's not just lately, if you go back through my history, almost ALL my posts are pretty long (sorry for that, guys!) 

    I just thought this one was funny. A lot of you "know" Jessica from when I posted about her harassing me for a wedding invite, so I thought it would be funny to share what a mess this work party was. 

    I've been considering starting a private journal (like, via a google doc or something) to get my thoughts out about my crazy family issues so that I'm not constantly pestering TK about it, but I honestly think any blog I wrote would be pretty dull. 
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  • lyndausvi said:
    Have you ever thought of doing LiveJournal blog?


    I'm all for venting and posting about general life stuff.  But in the last few weeks you have taken your posts to a blog level.    

    I know your are a writer and your family is little messed up.  It's just the amount of long posts you have created lately I can't help but wonder if you are using as test subjects.

    Maybe it's just me?  I have been a little grumpy lately.


    I'm definitely not using knotties as test subjects (I'm assuming you mean I'm testing out my writing on you guys to see if it would work out as a blog?) Nope. If I wanted to write a blog I'd just do it without tests. I don't even get what I would need to test? 

    I know I tend to have long posts-- it's not just lately, if you go back through my history, almost ALL my posts are pretty long (sorry for that, guys!) 

    I just thought this one was funny. A lot of you "know" Jessica from when I posted about her harassing me for a wedding invite, so I thought it would be funny to share what a mess this work party was. 

    I've been considering starting a private journal (like, via a google doc or something) to get my thoughts out about my crazy family issues so that I'm not constantly pestering TK about it, but I honestly think any blog I wrote would be pretty dull. 
    If you hadn't made this thread I would have been chomping at the bit wondering what happened.
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    novella1186[Deleted User]
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Wait, Jessica's your stalker and you volunteered to work with her?
                       
  • Wait, Jessica's your stalker and you volunteered to work with her?
    I was told that I was going with a group of 3 other people to set up the site while Jessica went to pick up food and stuff, so that's what I agreed to. Then somehow everything got switched around, so I ended up going to the store with her (and there was another guy with us, so that made it a lot easier). The site we were setting up is actually a house the company owns, so it was pretty easy to stay away from her the rest of the time. 
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  • I love Barefoot, specifically the Pinot Grigio. I admit I am not a wine expert, but I also think lumping it into the same category as Boones Farm is mean. And I'm sorry, but if this is a party on a budget, why not buy the bigger size bottle of wine if it's a savings and insures more people can actually have a glass so that people are properly hosted? 

    Jessica sounds bad at party planning, but it is also hard to plan a party for 60 people with a budget for 30 people. 
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