Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Deleting thread

Knottie22166696Knottie22166696 member
First Anniversary First Comment
edited February 2015 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
From what I've just seen from similar threads, many (not all of course) of the commenters on this site tend to get really judgey and down right rude on etiquette questions. I was kind of hoping for a more supportive environment where women helped and politely tried to educate each other and share constructive opinions. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, so who needs a barrage catty comments and insults? But thank you to those who politely shared opinions and direction.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Deleting thread

  • redoryxredoryx member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    antoto said:
    You should take a hot second to read these boards.  I think I speak for everyone when I say nay.  

    Question answered, have a good day.
    *mic drop* 
    image
    Report Reply
  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Nay. It's really not polite in the slightest. If I was planning to give you cash, and saw that, I might change my mind.

    Furthermore: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/281647/thinking-of-a-honeymoon-registry/p1
    Report Reply
  • mikenbergermikenberger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie22166696 said:

    From what I've just seen from similar threads, many (not all of course) of the commenters on this site tend to get really judgey and down right rude on etiquette questions. I was kind of hoping for a more supportive environment where women helped and politely tried to educate each other and share constructive opinions. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, so who needs a barrage catty comments and insults? But thank you to those who politely shared opinions and direction.

    Wow. You sure showed me.

    Please, do ask your guests for money. Maybe a cute poem or a sign the kids can carry around? And if anybody says boo about it, they obviously don't love you and support your day. You do whatever you and your fiancé want to do. Etiquette be damned.

    image
    Report Reply
  • flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie22166696 said:
    From what I've just seen from similar threads, many (not all of course) of the commenters on this site tend to get really judgey and down right rude on etiquette questions. I was kind of hoping for a more supportive environment where women helped and politely tried to educate each other and share constructive opinions. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, so who needs a barrage catty comments and insults? But thank you to those who politely shared opinions and direction.
    The bolded is exactly what happened to you in this thread. You just didn't like those opinions. Everyone was polite, if perhaps a little more blunt than you're used to.
    Report Reply
  • mikenbergermikenberger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    flantastic said:


    Knottie22166696 said:

    From what I've just seen from similar threads, many (not all of course) of the commenters on this site tend to get really judgey and down right rude on etiquette questions. I was kind of hoping for a more supportive environment where women helped and politely tried to educate each other and share constructive opinions. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, so who needs a barrage catty comments and insults? But thank you to those who politely shared opinions and direction.

    The bolded is exactly what happened to you in this thread. You just didn't like those opinions. Everyone was polite, if perhaps a little more blunt than you're used to.

    ------boxes------

    Nobody even cursed. This was pretty blunt light.

    image
    Report Reply
  • chibiyuichibiyui member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Blue_Bird said:
    What is your opinion of the honey fund? 1) in terms of just asking people to donate to a honeymoon instead of presents and 2) whether you like having the option to contribute via the website as opposed to a card/check.
    My future MIL thinks the whole thing is tacky, but I really don't see the difference between asking someone to go online and buy us something (we don't need) from Macy's and contributing to something really special like a honeymoon? But maybe I'm tacky?
    Also, the majority of our friends our age don't have a lot of money and I tend to think (when I've been a guest) giving a check for $25 feels kind of cheap, but contributing $25 to a larger group fund feels more substantial.
    QFP
    So, hey OP, I'm going to comment to your original question and not your failed flounce. 

    I've been in that "I can only give $25 bucks" position before. It sucks. You know what I did then, I'd make gift baskets of utensils from the registry, I'd bargain shop, I'd add something personal to make it seem like my gift was "more".

    You know what doesn't make a gift "more"? Adding to a fucking group fund with my name printed right beside the  "meager" $25 dollars. Except even better, since it's a honeyfund, you're getting that $25 bucks minus the transaction fee. So not only do your friends with no cash still feel like shit, you get less money as well.

    Good job!
    image



    Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I was 99.9% sure this was cross posted from WW. Your response has proven my theory to be true.

    No one was rude.  What you are planning to do, however is.  Using a Honeyfund is telling your guests to give you cash (rude--you don't get to dictate the form of your gifts).  You don't get the experiences and honey fund takes a cut of what is given and then gives you the rest in a check.  If you want cash, don't register.  Everyone knows cash is a good gift. 

    Also, if you are viewing a gift of $25 as "measly" your attitude is super shitty.  You appreciate any gift that is generously given.  Gifts should never be expected.  Calling out a smaller amount as "measly" is pretty gross.  No one deserves gifts, but you especially don't deserve a gift with that attitude.  Do you know how much your guests are spending to attend your wedding?  A lot more than a "measly $25."  


    image
    Report Reply
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Knottie22166696 said:
    From what I've just seen from similar threads, many (not all of course) of the commenters on this site tend to get really judgey and down right rude on etiquette questions. I was kind of hoping for a more supportive environment where women helped and politely tried to educate each other and share constructive opinions. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, so who needs a barrage catty comments and insults? But thank you to those who politely shared opinions and direction.
    image
    image
    image

    image


    Report Reply
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    So odd. We didn't register for anything (no household goods, no honeymoon fund, etc.) and every single gift we got was some form of money. There were no transaction fees and no wait time to receive the funds the way you would with those honeymoon fund sites either! Added bonus, I didn't look tacky or greedy.
    ~*~*~*~*~

    Report Reply
  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    LabLove86 said:
    I only came here because it said "Deleting Thread"
    Ditto.
    Report Reply
  • ohannabelleohannabelle member
    First Answer First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Knottie22166696 said:
    From what I've just seen from similar threads, many (not all of course) of the commenters on this site tend to get really judgey and down right rude on etiquette questions. I was kind of hoping for a more supportive environment where women helped and politely tried to educate each other and share constructive opinions. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, so who needs a barrage catty comments and insults? But thank you to those who politely shared opinions and direction.
    I really don't see any insults or catty comments. 
    Supportive and helpful? Yes. You were given the answer to your question, explanations as to why, and how people might feel about it. Nobody insulted you.

    Fact: Fundraisers are considered to be bad etiquette. It's rude to ask for money, and telling people how you intend to spend it doesn't make it better.

    If you're so easily wounded by the fact that not every idea you have is brilliant, or that there are points of etiquette you don't know, perhaps the internet isn't the problem. 

    (Also, why in a million years would you ask someone to go to Macy's and buy something you don't need? Why would you do that? Logic, please. Why not register for things you do like or need? Or if you're one of those mysterious people who need absolutely nothing- your glasses never break, your sheets never wear out, your kitchen and bath towels will never be stained or need replacing, you have every pot and pan and plate you'll ever need- don't register at all. )



    cat·ty ˈkadē/ adjective
    1. 1.
      deliberately hurtful in one's remarks; spiteful.

      Insult ˈinˌsəlt/ noun
      1. 1.
        a disrespectful or scornfully abusive remark or action.
        "he hurled insults at us"



    Report Reply
  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Came for the DD. 

    Yea, your MIL is right, honeymoon registries are tacky. Asking for donations should be reserved for charity. Panhandling is not appropriate for a wedding.

    Also, OP, I wonder why you would post to an etiquette board asking for etiquette advice and then say "everyone is mean" when people give you etiquette advice. This will always confuse me.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards