Rehearsal Timing Issue

lembaslover · February 2015

I just heard back from my venue that the latest we can start our rehearsal is 1pm because there is a wedding that day and the bride is getting there at 2. We had planned on having a rehearsal dinner at 6:30 at a restaurant close by but assuming the rehearsal takes a full hour (which I doubt) that still leaves us with 4.5 hrs between the rehearsal and dinner. I can probably move up the rehearsal dinner time but I don't feel like people will want dinner to start at 2:30 or 3.

What would you do? Can I schedule something in between the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner so that we can keep it later? What time should I start the rehearsal dinner?

Maggie0829 · February 2015

Can you move the rehearsal back to like 11 pm and then have a lunch instead of dinner? Or have your rehearsal at 1 pm and then just serve drinks and apps at the restaurant.

arrrghmatey · February 2015

I don't think this is as big of a deal as you're making it out to be (I could be wrong though so someone correct me if I am). Having a gap between the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner is not the same as a gap between the ceremony and reception on your wedding day. Find a place nearby with a good Happy Hour and suggest that to your guests. Or look for interesting things to do/see in the immediate area. Maybe you and your bridal party will want to have your nails done?

And if people have traveled from out of town and are staying at a hotel, they may even want to go back to the hotel and just chill for a bit before the rehearsal dinner.

EDIT: Turns out this is etiquettely wrong, so disregard.

lovegood90 · February 2015

Have a rehearsal lunch to avoid the gap. Or, if you're really set on having a dinner, just have you and your Fi go to the venue to talk to the priest about the order of things etc. Then, gather your wedding party at the restaurant or something right before the rehearsal dinner and go through it with them then. That way there is no gap.

I disagree with the above- a gap is never acceptable. If I had to wait 4.5 hours to be hosted I'd probably just go home and decline attending the rehearsal dinner. Or I'd just tell you that I'll catch up with one of the bridesmaids to give me the rundown before the ceremony and skip the rehearsal altogether.

Maggie0829 · February 2015

arrrghmatey said:

I don't think this is as big of a deal as you're making it out to be (I could be wrong though so someone correct me if I am). Having a gap between the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner is not the same as a gap between the ceremony and reception on your wedding day. Find a place nearby with a good Happy Hour and suggest that to your guests. Or look for interesting things to do/see in the immediate area. Maybe you and your bridal party will want to have your nails done?

And if people have traveled from out of town and are staying at a hotel, they may even want to go back to the hotel and just chill for a bit before the rehearsal dinner.

I disagree. Anytime you are asking people to attend an event you should never have a gap. It is rude and shows that you don't respect their time.

arrrghmatey · February 2015

Okay so I was wrong--Don't listen to me! I'm not having a gap so I hadn't been faced with the issue. Having a rehearsal lunch sounds like a better idea.

Even I'm still learning a thing or two!

redoryx · February 2015

I agree with others that a rehearsal lunch sounds like the way to go, especially if 1pm is the latest time. I'd ask the venue if you can get a slightly earlier time so it ends closer to lunch time.

lembaslover · February 2015

I can make it earlier and do lunch but I guess that just seems kind of lame (for lack of a better word) to me. Almost everyone is from out of town so it's not like anyone can just go home after the rehearsal dinner we'll all just be at the hotel waiting around for the wedding the next day...

Maybe I just wont have a rehearsal and do the dinner only. I can drop decorations and stuff off at the venue myself at 1pm.

Maggie0829 · February 2015

engagedhamstermom said:

I can make it earlier and do lunch but I guess that just seems kind of lame (for lack of a better word) to me. Almost everyone is from out of town so it's not like anyone can just go home after the rehearsal dinner we'll all just be at the hotel waiting around for the wedding the next day...

Maybe I just wont have a rehearsal and do the dinner only. I can drop decorations and stuff off at the venue myself at 1pm.

I am not sure why you think it would be lame. Once lunch is over everyone is free to do whatever they like, whether that means staying in their hotel room or sight seeing or going to a fancy dinner. Heck, you and your BMs (if they chose) can all get your nails done after the rehearsal and grab some cocktails.

lyndausvi · February 2015

I'm sure this is a little unpopular, but I have no problem eating at 2:30-3pm. No I don't do it on a normal basis, but it's not completely unheard of either. If I know there is a full meal being served at 2:30 then I just eat something around 11 to hold me over.

I've also worked in the restaurant industry. People do indeed eat at that hour.

I like the lunch idea and no,I do not feel it's lame.

That said a 1pm rehearsal, followed by some cocktails and food at restaurant sounds good to me. You might even get better deals since tends to be slow at that time (although there are some places that are full all day long). Sure it will be an early night, but if people want to continue the party after they can.

climbingsingle · February 2015

Do a lunch after the rehearsal, and then hang out at the hotel after. You could also do a more laid back dinner later in the day, that's not hosted.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

lovegood90 said:

Have a rehearsal lunch to avoid the gap. Or, if you're really set on having a dinner, just have you and your Fi go to the venue to talk to the priest about the order of things etc. Then, gather your wedding party at the restaurant or something right before the rehearsal dinner and go through it with them then. That way there is no gap.
I disagree with the above- a gap is never acceptable. If I had to wait 4.5 hours to be hosted I'd probably just go home and decline attending the rehearsal dinner. Or I'd just tell you that I'll catch up with one of the bridesmaids to give me the rundown before the ceremony and skip the rehearsal altogether.

I'd definitely skip the rehearsal in this scenario. . . I've been in 10+ weddings by now. I know how to walk down an aisle carrying a bouquet ><

MyNameIsNot · February 2015

Is your rehearsal on a Friday? I would be weary of doing a 1:00 rehearsal and lunch on a workday. That means people would have to take the whole day off, or people travelling would have to leave Thursday instead of Friday.

Personally, I would do the rehearsal the morning of the wedding or just do it at a different location.

dcbride86 · February 2015

OMG I'm SO glad I came across this post!!! I was planning on having about an hour gap between the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. My thought was that people might want to go back to their hotel rooms and freshen up (the rehearsal is at my venue and the other hotels and the RD are all within 2 blocks). I'll definitely contact my venue and change it, though. Sadly, I think this means we will lose the super pretty room (where I'm actually getting married), but that's fine.

JaxInBlue · February 2015

Do the rehearsal lunch if you can. Alternatively, go with FI from 1-2 to go over room layout and logistics and then have your rehearsal in the evening as planned, but in a different space. Unless you are having a super complicated service, it would probably okay to rehearse in a different space. People really just need to get a general idea of the flow and timing of your service.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

engagedhamstermom said:

I can make it earlier and do lunch but I guess that just seems kind of lame (for lack of a better word) to me. Almost everyone is from out of town so it's not like anyone can just go home after the rehearsal dinner we'll all just be at the hotel waiting around for the wedding the next day...

Maybe I just wont have a rehearsal and do the dinner only. I can drop decorations and stuff off at the venue myself at 1pm.

What's stopping you all from going out to dinner later in the evening? You all have to eat anyways, right? What's stopping you from going out to get drinks for a bit?

Some of those 10+ weddings were OOT and in those situations I didn't just sit around in the hotel waiting for the wedding day. . . we all (family and friends) got together and hung out.

thisismynickname2 · February 2015

I'm wondering how "involved" the ceremony is. If it is a religious ceremony in a church, do the rehearsal and a lunch after. I like me a big afternoon meal...

If it's going to be a shorter ceremony not in a house of worship, people know how to walk down an aisle. Just meet with your officiant on your own and brief your wedding party later on at dinner.

You said people are coming from out of town-- is everyone arriving the day before? If not, seems like you have to keep the dinner plan and skip the rehearsal.

For the record, I had a 20 minute ceremony and no rehearsal. Everything went off without a hitch.

lyndausvi · February 2015

dcbride86 said:

OMG I'm SO glad I came across this post!!! I was planning on having about an hour gap between the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. My thought was that people might want to go back to their hotel rooms and freshen up (the rehearsal is at my venue and the other hotels and the RD are all within 2 blocks). I'll definitely contact my venue and change it, though. Sadly, I think this means we will lose the super pretty room (where I'm actually getting married), but that's fine.

This line always cracks me up when it comes to gaps. They didn't just run a marathon. It's rehearsal (or ceremony). They [should] be sitting down for 20-60 minutes. Maybe walking a little bit to/from the venue. Or in the case of Catholic wedding they do the sit, stand, sit, stand, sit, knee, walk to communion, more sitting and standing things. What do they need to refresh from?

By your logic every hour of the reception there should be a break so people can refresh.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

lyndausvi said:

dcbride86 said:

OMG I'm SO glad I came across this post!!! I was planning on having about an hour gap between the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. My thought was that people might want to go back to their hotel rooms and freshen up (the rehearsal is at my venue and the other hotels and the RD are all within 2 blocks). I'll definitely contact my venue and change it, though. Sadly, I think this means we will lose the super pretty room (where I'm actually getting married), but that's fine.

This line always cracks me up when it comes to gaps. They didn't just run a marathon. It's rehearsal (or ceremony). They [should] be sitting down for 20-60 minutes. Maybe walking a little bit to/from the venue. Or in the case of Catholic wedding they do the sit, stand, sit, stand, sit, knee, walk to communion, more sitting and standing things. What do they need to refresh from?

By your logic every hour of the reception there should be a break so people can refresh.

Look, those air bouquets you pretend to hold during the rehearsal are heavy! And lining up, standing in place, then walking down the aisle 500,000 times IS like running a marathon. I was a literal hot mess after every rehearsal.

arrrghmatey · February 2015

@PrettyGirlLost love the new signature gif. Mwahahahaha,

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

arrrghmatey said:

@PrettyGirlLost love the new signature gif. Mwahahahaha,

That damn fez was just within your reach! ;-)

arrrghmatey · February 2015

Whaaaa?? $@#%@$#%!!! Happens every time I call the pharmacy to refill my birth control!

dcbride86 · February 2015

lyndausvi said:

dcbride86 said:

OMG I'm SO glad I came across this post!!! I was planning on having about an hour gap between the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. My thought was that people might want to go back to their hotel rooms and freshen up (the rehearsal is at my venue and the other hotels and the RD are all within 2 blocks). I'll definitely contact my venue and change it, though. Sadly, I think this means we will lose the super pretty room (where I'm actually getting married), but that's fine.

This line always cracks me up when it comes to gaps. They didn't just run a marathon. It's rehearsal (or ceremony). They [should] be sitting down for 20-60 minutes. Maybe walking a little bit to/from the venue. Or in the case of Catholic wedding they do the sit, stand, sit, stand, sit, knee, walk to communion, more sitting and standing things. What do they need to refresh from?

By your logic every hour of the reception there should be a break so people can refresh.

Yes, now that I think about it, it doesn't really make sense. I just didn't know if people would want to change or something for dinner. I think I was thinking people might be coming straight from work? But now that I think about it, it would be way easier to check in and freshen up, and then just go to dinner. Again, I'm glad I saw this! Sometimes my ideas make no sense.

abl13 · February 2015

Is your rehearsal on a weekday? If so, just skip it. There's no way I would take a vacation day from work to go to a wedding rehearsal unless I had already planned on using that day as a travel day if the wedding was not close.

lembaslover · February 2015

I talked to my fiance after reading these and we've decided to just go the two of us at 1pm and keep the rehearsal dinner at 6:30. We just want to see how the logistics will work out and despite the wide acceptance here of rehearsal lunch neither of us are big fans of that.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

engagedhamstermom said:

I talked to my fiance after reading these and we've decided to just go the two of us at 1pm and keep the rehearsal dinner at 6:30. We just want to see how the logistics will work out and despite the wide acceptance here of rehearsal lunch neither of us are big fans of that.

Make sure your OOT wedding party members know so that they can adjust their plans accordingly. They might be able to get later flights and fly out/drive out after work now, rather than takinbg a vacation day.

dolewhipper · February 2015

I'm having a early rehearsal too at 3pm. "Dinner" is at 4:30. I knew it was early, but I figure it will let me and FI be able to mingle with OOT guests after at the hotel bar and still get to bed at a reasonable hour.

MandyMost · February 2015

We had similar timing. Rehearsal was at 1:30 I think, and dinner was at 6:30, on a Friday. We told everyone that they were NOT required to go to the rehearsal, and we'd spend the first 10-15 min of the rehearsal dinner walking people through anything they needed to know. Nevertheless, my mom had taken the whole week off from work because she was so excited about the wedding, and his parents got to town that morning, as did some of the bridal party.

For all of my girls that were in town (including my mom) we had lunch at 12, then went to the rehearsal, then went to get our nails done at about 2:30, and then went back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. For the guys, the bridal party was in town and worked that day so didn't come, so my now-husband and his dad just hung out for the afternoon.

hyechica81 · February 2015

can you do the rehersal eleswhere like in a park as long as everyone knows your place in line then you are all set. and then continue on with dinner around the time you had plans for rehersal.

we did rehersal at 5 at the church and then continued on to dinner at the restaurant which was like 10 minutes away. only two of my maids were no show for both as they were coming from out of town and got stuck in traffic they live 5 hours away

lembaslover · February 2015

@MandyMost I like that idea! That way if people do want to still come they can but no one feels like they have to take off work or book earlier travel or anything. If it ends up being just my fiance and I that's fine too.

MandyMost · February 2015

engagedhamstermom said:

@MandyMost I like that idea! That way if people do want to still come they can but no one feels like they have to take off work or book earlier travel or anything. If it ends up being just my fiance and I that's fine too.

I basically just gave everyone the day's agenda, and let them join in whenever they wanted. Some came starting with lunch at 12, some met us at the rehearsal at 1:30, some met us at the nail place at 2:30, and some met us at the rehearsal dinner at 6:30. It really worked out well for us!

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