My FMIL and FFIL have agreed to host our rehearsal dinner. I know that the rules state that whoever pays gets a say in what happens. However, my in laws are divorced and his father is getting remarried soon but his mother is single. Because His mother is single she felt the need to invite her entire side of the family so that they can rally around her. I think this is slightly selfish because the same invitations are not going out to my side of the family or his fathers. She also stated that I would need to do some work for the rehearsal dinner such as seating charts and picking out desserts etc. It was my understanding that if someone offers to host they really should be doing the work. As a bride I am already on overload and really do not want to to even have a say in the rehearsal dinner as I am gracious that they offered to host. My FMIL personality is that she cannot do anything herself and just expects others to do whatever she says. My FFIL is not helping plan but will help financially with the rehearsal dinner. What should I do in these two situations that are obviously touchy subjects.
Edit: My FI is helping her with the menu and bar options