Wedding Etiquette Forum

Update: Would you judge me? (Attending friend's baby shower)

Hi Ladies!

I figured I'd post an update. Here is the original post (if I am not allowed to do this please let me know. I tried finding the TOS rules and couldn't - I fail at the internet).

 

So the plan was that I was going to drive with a couple of friends. One of those friends is my ex and his driving causes major motion sickness for me. He also has been making some passive aggressive remarks towards me and I just want to limit that as much as possible. (That's a whole other cookie to deal with.) I was stressing out about that and wondering if I should just drive on my own, which I hate doing and I've already done a lot of driving and just needed a break on top of everything else.

I called my friend and she actually said to bring my boyfriend. She said that we are all adults and can act as adults (which I agree) so she didn't see anything wrong with inviting my SO especially because he could help me with my traveling. So we are going to stay at a hotel in the area that is like a minute away from her house :-D Since she goes to bed SUPER early, I figured even if we get there Friday night she'll already be out like a light and my other friends don't plan on arriving until late late late Friday (and will hang with her husband and probably play video games) or later Saturday (those who live near her).  So my bf and I are going to visit my sister the night before and stay at her place. This will save on hotel costs and I can spend some time with my sis. Leave early in the morning and maximize time with my best friend (plus it will only be a 3 hour drive from my sister so less stress for me with driving).

The only kicker is no baby shower. Just us college friends getting together and we have to leave by noon Sunday because a friend of hers is hosting a baby shower that day. They couldn't invite us plus her friends from her new town because the person hosting doesn't have a large enough place so we're having our own get together. I was tempted to come another weekend but she needs a weekend to herself before maternity leave (between baby classes and other people visiting she hasn't had any down time) and I won't be able to see her until probably August (when the baby is a bit older) so it's this planned weekend or no weekend at all. I bought her a cute gift that she said she really wants and will use a lot of and I'm thinking about making her a blanket or some baby burp cloths. I also plan to sew a simple cover for the baby holder (what you carry the baby in when you are driving - car seat?).

 

So I believe it has all worked out :-D I'm still stressed about a lot of other things and have lost a LOT of sleep because of it but at least this is putting my mind at ease. I have someone to travel with me with no drama and I get to see my best friend and give her an awesome gift :-D

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Re: Update: Would you judge me? (Attending friend's baby shower)

  • This is confusing to me. What exactly is your question?
  • This is confusing to me. What exactly is your question?

     

    SIB: It wasn't a question. I was just updating. I figured I posted my original question on ettiquite, I should update it here. I can have it moved.


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  • Thanks for updating us, op!


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  • Wait, you're travelling all that way but aren't actually invited to the baby shower? Or am I missing something lol.

    Formerly martha1818

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  • ChemFanatic25ChemFanatic25 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    edited February 2015

    Wait, you're travelling all that way but aren't actually invited to the baby shower? Or am I missing something lol.


    Yeah, not invited BUT it's okay. The person who is hosting is allowed to limit how many people they invite right? So if that person can't host, it's not against etiquette and I totally understand that. Still get to see my best friend :-D
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  • lovegood90lovegood90 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2015

    Yeah that's totally fine if you're okay with it; I'd just feel really bad if I was your friend that you were spending all that time and money to go visit me, if that makes sense.

    ETA: woops sorry forgot to quote you but...you're right above me haha!

    Formerly martha1818

    image


  • Yeah that's totally fine if you're okay with it; I'd just feel really bad if I was your friend that you were spending all that time and money to go visit me, if that makes sense.

    ETA: woops sorry forgot to quote you but...you're right above me haha!


    Yeah . . . I don't want to think of it that way. It bothers me a little since I was told back in August that I would be invited to a baby shower but it's okay :-) I'd rather tour Boston then sit at a baby shower. Plus it's not like I'm not going to give her the gift or anything and I'll still be able to spend quality time with her. I believe the plan is for everyone to go out to dinner and hang out for a bit. I don't know if there is more to it. I know I won't be spending a whole weekend with her though. I've always wanted to do some sighseeing of Boston though. Really see the museums and I heard there is an amazing library there.
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  • Sounds like a pretty good solution.

    Sucks about the baby shower, since she told you that you would be invited and you were all stressed out about missing that event. Actually, that would annoy me a bit. Moral of story: Don't invite people to events if you aren't actually planning on inviting them! But, at the end of the day, I'd let it go. 

    That's nice your bf is coming AND you get to see your sister. Hopefully you'll get some good sight-seeing in on Sunday. 
  • lc07lc07 member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm super confused. Didn't you say in your first post that you had received an invitation? Did you get uninvited?
  • ChemFanatic25ChemFanatic25 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    edited March 2015
    lc07 said:

    I'm super confused. Didn't you say in your first post that you had received an invitation? Did you get uninvited?

    No I hadn't received a paper invite if that's what you mean. When she told me they were having a baby she said she would be inviting myself and our other friends to the baby shower. I was told multiple times there would be a baby shower we'd be invited to and I had said multiple times that I was very excited.

    EDIT: Sorry about the confusion. I realize just now that this probably doesn't make sense as much as I thought it would. I was told multiple times I'd be receiving an invite for a shower. Cool. I receive an invite for a get-together, thinking it was a baby shower because it said baby shower on the invite. It was actually an invite for the college friends to get together but we are not invited to an actual baby shower. So I was stressing about missing a baby shower that isn't really happening for us to attend. So I wouldn't have been breaking etiquette if I hadn't gone because technically no shower to attend . . . I hope that makes sense. I apologize for it being confusing. 
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