"First Dance" ideas that break from the norm

Re: "First Dance" ideas that break from the norm

• mikenberger member

  

  March 2015

  You don't have to have any first dances if you don't want. You and your new husband can dance and call it good. 

  
  

  This is nothing to lose sleep over.

  
  

  
  

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• thespeshulestsnowflake member

  

  March 2015

  Knottie67853574 said:

  Not to get too long-winded, but I am not close with my parents. They are invited to our wedding but will not be incorporated into the ceremony or proceedings in any way. What are some other first dance ideas other than the "father-daughter dance" etc.? My father is not invited and I do not wish to dance with my step-father, so I need some other cute first-dance ideas that the MC can announce. Thank you in advance!

  You could just skip them since they aren't really needed and some people are not fans of too many spotlight dances. Then everyone gets more dance time.

  

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• thissiteisuseless member

  

  March 2015

  Honestly, despite these little issues, I'm trying to keep our wedding as traditional as possible. So I would like spotlight dances, I just can't think of any...

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  March 2015

  Dance with the groom. If you don't want to dance with your dad/step-dad, don't. There's no reason to replace that with some other dance. 

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• thissiteisuseless member

  

  March 2015

  I understand that I don't have to. But I WANT spotlight dances. 

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• NowIAmSyp member

  

  March 2015

  Knottie67853574 said:

  Honestly, despite these little issues, I'm trying to keep our wedding as traditional as possible. So I would like spotlight dances, I just can't think of any...

  You can have a lovely, traditional wedding without numerous spotlight dances...  

  
  

  Don't have spotlight dances just to have spotlight dances...  You dancing with your new husband will be lovely.  Then, you can open the dance floor for the rest of the night and have a great party

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• thespeshulestsnowflake member

  

  March 2015

  Knottie67853574 said:

  I understand that I don't have to. But I WANT spotlight dances. 

  Why???

  

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• mikenberger member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  Knottie67853574 said:

  I understand that I don't have to. But I WANT spotlight dances. 

  I want a pony. But I can't have one where I live. Why would I move and force the issue? I just accept that I'll NEVER HAVE A PONY. 

  
  

  ETA: Punctuation is tough.

  
  

  
  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  March 2015

  Knottie67853574 said:

  I understand that I don't have to. But I WANT spotlight dances. 

  Then dance with your dad/step dad/mom. 

  
  

  I don't understand what you're looking for here. 

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• flantastic member

  

  March 2015

  It's traditional enough with just a first dance. Don't have your guests sit through dance performances you've chosen at random just because you feel like you need some.

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• photokitty mod

  

  March 2015

  I can't tell you how happy I am when I don't have to sit through 3 or more spotlight dances. It is boring watching other people dance for 10 mins and try to act interested. 

  
  

  How about you break from the norm by not having them. Just dance with your spouse. If he wants to dance with his mom let hime, but otherwise just do your dance.

  
  

  If you really want to do something, have the bridal dance dance together.

  
  

  We only played 90 seconds of the father/daughter dance song, got the photos and faded it out. I can dance with my dad without making every stare at me for 4 full mins. But that's just me

  ~xoxo~

  
  

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• novella1186 member

  

  March 2015

  Just have a spotlight dance with the groom and then call it a day. 

  
  

  A bunch of different random spotlight dances with a bunch of random people-- just for the sake of having multiple spotlight dances-- will be really boring to your guests, and might even be confusing to people. 

  
  

  For what it's worth, I don't get along with my dad so I was only going to do 1 dance, with just FI, and that was it. Then we talked about it and realized that neither of us like the idea of doing any spotlight dance at all, so we aren't doing one. It's our wedding; we need to do what makes sense for us. So our first dance will be the Hora, a traditional Jewish dance where we get lifted up in chairs and all the guests go around in a huge circle. Way more fun. 

  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  March 2015

  I don't understand what you want. If you want a spotlight dance, do your first dance with your husband. If you don't want to dance with your parents, THEN DON'T. 

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• Jen4948 member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  Knottie67853574 said:

  I understand that I don't have to. But I WANT spotlight dances. 

  Guests don't like prolonged spotlight dances or other demands on their attention that make them feel like captive audiences at the reception. The thinking is that yes, they love you enough to attend your ceremony and they'll sit through spotlight dances for the couple with each other and with their parents. But if you want spotlight dances with people who aren't your parents, your guests are going to get bored with not getting to dance themselves or talk to each other for a prolonged period of time, and they'll sour on you and your reception-which is supposed to be a thank-you to them for attending the ceremony, not a showcase for your ego.

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• KatWAG member

  

  March 2015

  Then who do you want to spotlight??? Dance with them.

   

  Knottie67853574 said:

  I understand that I don't have to. But I WANT spotlight dances. 

  

  Report2 Reply
• NowIamMrsKlein member

  

  March 2015

  Knottie67853574 said:

  I understand that I don't have to. But I WANT spotlight dances. 

  You want spotlight dances, but can't think of ones to do. That says to me that you can't think of anyone (besides the groom) that jumps out at you as a special person to have a spotlight dance with.

  
  

  Don't do a spotlight dance with a random person just to make your wedding 'traditional' 

  
  

  Have a lovely spotlight dance with your new hubby and then open the floor.
  
  If you MUST have another dance, one that I've seen work to degrees of sucess (depending on your family) is a 'generations/anniversary' type dance.

  
  

  DJ asks all married couples to the floor, as the song goes on he says 'anyone married less than X, leave the floor' Do it in increments of 5 years. The longest married couple will be the last couple dancing.

  

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• KatWAG member

  

  March 2015

  

  

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• peachy13 member

  

  March 2015

  Knottie67853574 said:

  I understand that I don't have to. But I WANT spotlight dances. 

  
  

  
  

  Sorry if this is mean but I kind of hate spotlight dances. If there's no need for them, why do you want them?

  
  
  
  

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• bethsmiles member

  

  March 2015

  peachy13 said:

  Knottie67853574 said:

  I understand that I don't have to. But I WANT spotlight dances. 

  
  

  
  

  Sorry if this is mean but I kind of hate spotlight dances. If there's no need for them, why do you want them?

  This ^ I'm happy to sit through the bride and groom's first dance. But honestly, after that I'm annoyed by additional spotlight dances. Including them won't make your wedding more traditional.
  

  
  

  
  

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• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  March 2015

  So, you just want the AW moment of spotlight dances even though nobody comes to mind that you would WANT a spotlight dance with? Super. Dance by yourself, primadonna.

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  March 2015

  You could have the mother of all spotlight dances - the anniversary dance. All married couples are invited to the dance floor. After a minute, the MC asks all couples who have been married less than five years to leave the floor, then after another minute all couples married less than 10 years leave the floor, then 20, 30, 40, 50. You keep going until there is one couple left dancing - the couple who have been married longest. You then honor them with a corsage and bout or bottle of wine.

  But really, I would love a wedding that didn't have a lot of spotlight dances and other interruptions. It's just fun to socialize, eat and dance, and maybe get a word with the bride and groom.

  
  

  
  

                     

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• thissiteisuseless member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  Holy shit. I wish that I could delete this question. I was looking for ADVICE on cute spotlight dances from fellow brides/wives/whatever and a way to showcase others in my wedding (not myself) to go with tradition -- and everyone attacked me and called me a "primadonna" for asking for advice. I don't know who all of you are, but you really ought to get off your high horse. I wasn't asking for people that I could dance with, I was asking for new and fun ideas. None of you are original and quite honestly, you're all (edited by mod to remove TOS violation). I can't believe anyone would want to marry you when you would talk to a complete stranger like that who was merely asking an innocent question. 

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• thissiteisuseless member

  

  March 2015

  Only 2 or 3 of you actually gave ADVICE from a good place.

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  March 2015

  Knottie67853574 said:

  Holy shit. I wish that I could delete this question. I was looking for ADVICE on cute spotlight dances from fellow brides/wives/whatever and a way to showcase others in my wedding (not myself) to go with tradition -- and everyone attacked me and called me a "primadonna" for asking for advice. I don't know who all of you are, but you really ought to get off your high horse. I wasn't asking for people that I could dance with, I was asking for new and fun ideas. None of you are original and quite honestly, you're all bitches. I can't believe anyone would want to marry you when you would talk to a complete stranger like that who was merely asking an innocent question. 

  New and fun ideas = shit your guests will not want to watch.  For example, choreographed wedding party dances are embarrassing to watch and something that you should not make your friends do.

  
  

  You and your FI will be the center of attention the day of your wedding if you have 10 spotlight dances or none.

  
  

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• NowIamMrsKlein member

  

  March 2015

  Well that escalated quickly.
  
  OP. You will find that people here on the Knot actually have very good advice. We don't sugar coat things. You come in asking for advice, and some people's advice is to not do what you are doing.

  
  

  Calling posters bitches and wondering why people would marry them is not going to get you far on this site.

  
  

  If you can learn to have a bit of a stronger backbone you can learn alot from this site. It will open your eyes to things you may never have realised. Everyone here wants everyone to have a great wedding. And if it means telling a poster that their idea may not be the greatest, then thats what they will do. A reception is to thank people for attending your wedding and posters are just trying to give you insight into the best ways to do this.

  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  March 2015

  Knottie67853574 said:

  Holy shit. I wish that I could delete this question. I was looking for ADVICE on cute spotlight dances from fellow brides/wives/whatever and a way to showcase others in my wedding (not myself) to go with tradition -- and everyone attacked me and called me a "primadonna" for asking for advice. I don't know who all of you are, but you really ought to get off your high horse. I wasn't asking for people that I could dance with, I was asking for new and fun ideas. None of you are original and quite honestly, you're all bitches. I can't believe anyone would want to marry you when you would talk to a complete stranger like that who was merely asking an innocent question. 

  Wow. You got good advice, or as good as people could give you for how unclear your question was. (Several people asked you to clarify.)

  
  

  You return by attacking and calling people names. Very mature.  

  
  

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• chibiyui member

  

  March 2015

  Knottie67853574 said:

  Holy shit. I wish that I could delete this question. I was looking for ADVICE on cute spotlight dances from fellow brides/wives/whatever and a way to showcase others in my wedding (not myself) to go with tradition -- and everyone attacked me and called me a "primadonna" for asking for advice. I don't know who all of you are, but you really ought to get off your high horse. I wasn't asking for people that I could dance with, I was asking for new and fun ideas. None of you are original and quite honestly, you're all bitches. I can't believe anyone would want to marry you when you would talk to a complete stranger like that who was merely asking an innocent question. 

  You got that advice. Spotlight dances aren't cute. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• thissiteisuseless member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  I agree with OP here... 

  
  

  Hypothetical question: What songs should I have on my playlist to get people up and grooving?

  
  

  Would you all answer with: Songs are a bad idea for a wedding. You especially don't want anything up tempo that could cause people's blood to flow. 

  
  

  I found it pretty clear what she was looking for - a way to put a spin on the traditional that doesn't involve her parents. If you don't have a suggestion that flows with the stream, keep your words to yourself.

  
  

  To all of you who chided her for saying what she WANTS - most girls spend their childhood dreaming about their perfect wedding. Every bride should get what they want on their special day. Instead of being helpful, the bulk of you acted like (edited by mod to remove TOS violation). I hope it rains on your wedding day.

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• NowIamMrsKlein member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  Knottie67853574 said:

  I agree with OP here... 

  
  

  Hypothetical question: What songs should I have on my playlist to get people up and grooving?

  
  

  Would you all answer with: Songs are a bad idea for a wedding. You especially don't want anything up tempo that could cause people's blood to flow. 

  
  

  I found it pretty clear what she was looking for - a way to put a spin on the traditional that doesn't involve her parents. If you don't have a suggestion that flows with the stream, keep your words to yourself.

  
  

  To all of you who chided her for saying what she WANTS - most girls spend their childhood dreaming about their perfect wedding. Every bride should get what they want on their special day. Instead of being helpful, the bulk of you acted like obnoxious cunts. I hope it rains on your wedding day.

  Your hypothetical question isn't relevant at all. No one would not suggest music in answer to that question. However if a person said they were going to open the dance floor with a profanity laden distasteful song then you would definitely get advice to rethink it. eg. "Think of your grandma! the children!" etc.
  
  Every Bride should get what she wants on her special day? How about every bride should have a lovely wedding day and properly host all of her honoured guests.

  
  

  Or how about when you put a post on the internet asking for advice from random strangers you except to get a variety of different answers and not all rainbows and butterflies and sunshine and worship telling you to do everything you want to do because its 'your day'
  
  
  

  
  

  I WANT a beautiful bouquet of fresh flowers at my wedding. My FMIL is severely allergic. Should i just tell her that "Sorry. Its my special day. This is what I want. This is what i've always dreamed of. Guess you're either not coming, or you will end up in the hospital. Because it's my day. its what i want"
  
  No. guess what? Im realizing that just because it's mine and my fiances (don't forget about him!) special day doesn't mean that I can purposely make my guests uncomfortable just because its something I envisioned. And I'm using fake flowers. 

  

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• NowIamMrsKlein member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  Knottie67853574 said:

  I agree with OP here... 

  
  

  Hypothetical question: What songs should I have on my playlist to get people up and grooving?

  
  

  Would you all answer with: Songs are a bad idea for a wedding. You especially don't want anything up tempo that could cause people's blood to flow. 

  
  

  I found it pretty clear what she was looking for - a way to put a spin on the traditional that doesn't involve her parents. If you don't have a suggestion that flows with the stream, keep your words to yourself.

  
  

  To all of you who chided her for saying what she WANTS - most girls spend their childhood dreaming about their perfect wedding. Every bride should get what they want on their special day. Instead of being helpful, the bulk of you acted like obnoxious cunts. I hope it rains on your wedding day.

  Also, arent YOU the op? 
  

  

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