Respond or ignore?

jenna8984 · March 2015

When I bought my house a few years ago, I was young and naive. I didn't even have a trusted realtor, I just saw a posting online and called the number. The woman who answered kind of became my agent by default. I had told her that I was only planning to stay in this house a few years, and we had her over the house two times over the last 3 years to give her professional opinion/ advice on remodeling. Well besides her opinions on that, DH & I kind of think she sucks. We would ask her for comps and stuff and all she would dig up is the house across the street that sold. Um no, I could have done that myself, and that house has an extra bedroom than ours so it's not even really comparable. She owned a wedding dress store for 25 years and only got into real estate a few years ago and we just feel like she's not up to par. But we had asked her design advice because we didn't know who else to ask, we didn't want to just call a random realtor. So I think because she came and gave advice, she assumed she would be seling our house.

A past co-worker that I'm friends with on facebook was posting about selling his house and condo. His realtor sold both of his properties within a week over list price. So I messaged him for her contact info, and when we met, H & I felt 100% more confident that we wanted to list with this woman. She just seemed so much more knowledgeable and is clearly good at what she does. We signed the papers with her and our house is going on the market tomorrow.

The original woman emailed me 2 days ago asking if we've completed the renovations, and saying that now would be a great time to list before the spring rush of inventory, and give her a call when we're ready to list. Eeeeek....awkward....do I not respond and just let her see our house hit the market with someone else? Or do you think I owe her a quick email back letting her know? I feel bad if we led her on but it's business and we need to go with the better agent.

luckya23 · March 2015

Personally, I would ignore it. She may not even notice if she can't even pull comps correctly...

Sounds like this is a bridge you don't mind burning and she probably doesn't have a ton of buyers to bring through anyway!

ETA: I went through 6 mostly incompetent buyers agents when I bought my house. No remorse - it's not that hard of a job!

blabla89 · March 2015

Don't feel bad. It's business. However, letting her know would be the courteous thing to do...because otherwise she will probably keep trying to contact you.

climbingsingle · March 2015

I wouldn't respond.

stefuhknee · March 2015

You shouldn't feel guilty about going with the new realtor because that sounds like the best option however it does seem like you have some history with the woman so why not just let her know? Of course you don't have to but I would just to be courteous.

novella1186 · March 2015

My mom has been in real estate for almost 20 years. She's the top selling agent in her office and has a bunch of awards, so I feel like she knows her shit.

The thing about it is that agents have to put themselves out there if they expect to get business. Clients don't just fall into their laps. So I do not think you led this woman on. I think she was just reminding you and trying to drum up some business for herself, like "Hey don't forget, list with me!" If she sat on her ass and didn't communicate with you and let you slip away as a client, then she'd be a really shitty agent. So don't worry about it.

Also, my mom has had clients switch agents on her many times. That's just how it goes. There's nothing the agent can do about it besides act like a professional and wish them well, which is what my mom always does. Sometimes she's a little ticked off if she put in a lot of time and work with that particular client, but she would never say that to them. The last thing an agent needs is getting a reputation of being a bitch to people. So again, don't worry about it.

beachyone15 · March 2015

My H and I just bought a house and we had to "break up" with our first realtor (the guy just wasn't helping us at all and didn't understand/respond to our urgency to buy). It was hard but we honestly felt it was the best thing to do. My H made the phone call and I'm not sure what his exact words were but he let our old realtor know that we needed to move on and we appreciated his time. It's all business and she should hopefully understand if her methods aren't working for you.

emmaaa · March 2015

I personally would respond. Just as a courtesy thing. You could say, "I appreciate your interest in helping us sell our home, but we have already listed with another realtor."

NowIAmSyp · March 2015

I would probably respond, too.... something short and simple, just to be courteous. If she then responds back to THAT, then yes, I would ignore from then on out.

Good luck!

ashley8918 · March 2015

I probably wouldn't respond. And if a did, it would be a short and sweet, "the house has already been listed/is in the process of being listed. Thanks!" Anything after that, I would not respond to.

kvruns · March 2015

I didn't sell my house with the agent I bought with. My 1st one was a family friend type of person but after the fact I felt like he didn't do/help in the way he should have, especially as a first time buyer. I just randomly found my agent when I sold and I really liked her and would use her again in the future. Using an agent once isn't a contract to use them forever so I would just ignore.

You want to feel like you're working with a good agent, someone who will help price the house appropriately, market it well, negotiate with other agents, etc. If you don't feel like this chick can even pull comps or do other mundane stuff then I wouldn't keep her around.

Bubblegum5586 · March 2015

I think you should definitly respond. As someone who is in sales I would match rather a quick "no" then waste a few weeks trying to get in touch with you!

theartistformerlyknownas · March 2015

I'd probably respond so she doesn't keep contacting you. No guilt, just "we've decided to list with someone else, thanks!"

novella1186 · March 2015

Also want to add, there is NO SHAME in wanting to work with a good agent. Real estate is a big thing money-wise so no need to fuck around. We made the mistake of working with a brand new agent who really was not good at his job back when we were house hunting. We ended up not buying the house we put an offer on cuz we found out we both might be losing our job.

Our agent didn't know what to do. Ran to the listing agent for help because they'd known each other forever. Listing agent is a dishonest shark who will cut your throat for $1, and was purposely giving him bad advice to manipulate him into HURTING us to HELP her own client.

Listing agent then took that info that she shouldn't have had about us, went to our mortgage company, mortgage guy was passing private information on to her, client who owned the house then got that info that should never have been shared, hired a lawyer, and tried to sue us.

We then hire a lawyer and bitter bitch seller had no case so she had to drop it, but by that point we'd lost $3,000 in legal fees.

Agents and mortgage company then got investigated by the FTC (I may or may not have tipped them off. Ha.) and were found to be guilty of many many many wrong things.

Big. Fucking. Dramatic. Mess.

And months and months of the worst stress. We ended up with no house and lost all that money and went through all that. Ugh. But hey, we realized we weren't even married yet and had just survived a major trauma together so that was good.

Moral of the story: I wish we had the sense to use an experienced agent, who would have known how to end the deal (our contract had expired because by then so we were free and clear anyway, so that's why bitter bitch couldn't sue us, but our agent failed to catch that), and how to protect us from such a mess, and how to advise us on what to do, and NOT go fucking talking to the listing agent about OUR INFORMATION. The rage.

mrsk616 · March 2015

i am more of the person to ignore it IMO. thats how i am. if i dont want to respond back i wont.

lovemesomemonster · March 2015

I'm sorry, that is awkward.. yes it's business but they are also human as you are so I'm sure you feel a tad bad about it. Our first realtor we worked with was AWESOME, she knew her stuff and even though we were getting into a starter home with a $100K budget she worked like we were buying a $500K house. I was so impressed with her the entire process and she even managed to close a short sale for us in 4 months with lots and lots of updates. We moved, kept that as a rental so I have no advice on selling, and decided to buy again. Used a guy my dad had been working with and let's just say it's a good thing this wasn't our first rodeo. I did 98% of the leg work and communication, he hardly updated me and this one was a foreclosure and a nightmare to close. Walked away from that one thinking I should have paid myself to close on it. We are now looking at buying another investment property and I will be looking for someone else, no hard feelings, just don't feel like I want to do all of the work again.

Couggal12 · March 2015

I would respond with a quick "We've decided to use someone else to list. Thanks for contacting me though." Otherwise she'll probably continue to contact you.

kvruns · March 2015

novella1186 said:
Also want to add, there is NO SHAME in wanting to work with a good agent. Real estate is a big thing money-wise so no need to fuck around. We made the mistake of working with a brand new agent who really was not good at his job back when we were house hunting. We ended up not buying the house we put an offer on cuz we found out we both might be losing our job.

Our agent didn't know what to do. Ran to the listing agent for help because they'd known each other forever. Listing agent is a dishonest shark who will cut your throat for $1, and was purposely giving him bad advice to manipulate him into HURTING us to HELP her own client.

Listing agent then took that info that she shouldn't have had about us, went to our mortgage company, mortgage guy was passing private information on to her, client who owned the house then got that info that should never have been shared, hired a lawyer, and tried to sue us.

We then hire a lawyer and bitter bitch seller had no case so she had to drop it, but by that point we'd lost $3,000 in legal fees.

Agents and mortgage company then got investigated by the FTC (I may or may not have tipped them off. Ha.) and were found to be guilty of many many many wrong things.

Big. Fucking. Dramatic. Mess.

And months and months of the worst stress. We ended up with no house and lost all that money and went through all that. Ugh. But hey, we realized we weren't even married yet and had just survived a major trauma together so that was good.

Moral of the story: I wish we had the sense to use an experienced agent, who would have known how to end the deal (our contract had expired because by then so we were free and clear anyway, so that's why bitter bitch couldn't sue us, but our agent failed to catch that), and how to protect us from such a mess, and how to advise us on what to do, and NOT go fucking talking to the listing agent about OUR INFORMATION. The rage.

what were they suing you for? To get to keep the earnest money or something else? Buyers can always back out, you just might lose the earnest money. Crazy ordeal though

novella1186 · March 2015

kvruns said:

novella1186 said:
Also want to add, there is NO SHAME in wanting to work with a good agent. Real estate is a big thing money-wise so no need to fuck around. We made the mistake of working with a brand new agent who really was not good at his job back when we were house hunting. We ended up not buying the house we put an offer on cuz we found out we both might be losing our job.

Our agent didn't know what to do. Ran to the listing agent for help because they'd known each other forever. Listing agent is a dishonest shark who will cut your throat for $1, and was purposely giving him bad advice to manipulate him into HURTING us to HELP her own client.

Listing agent then took that info that she shouldn't have had about us, went to our mortgage company, mortgage guy was passing private information on to her, client who owned the house then got that info that should never have been shared, hired a lawyer, and tried to sue us.

We then hire a lawyer and bitter bitch seller had no case so she had to drop it, but by that point we'd lost $3,000 in legal fees.

Agents and mortgage company then got investigated by the FTC (I may or may not have tipped them off. Ha.) and were found to be guilty of many many many wrong things.

Big. Fucking. Dramatic. Mess.

And months and months of the worst stress. We ended up with no house and lost all that money and went through all that. Ugh. But hey, we realized we weren't even married yet and had just survived a major trauma together so that was good.

Moral of the story: I wish we had the sense to use an experienced agent, who would have known how to end the deal (our contract had expired because by then so we were free and clear anyway, so that's why bitter bitch couldn't sue us, but our agent failed to catch that), and how to protect us from such a mess, and how to advise us on what to do, and NOT go fucking talking to the listing agent about OUR INFORMATION. The rage.

what were they suing you for? To get to keep the earnest money or something else? Buyers can always back out, you just might lose the earnest money. Crazy ordeal though

That was another place we got screwed. The listing agent added a clause to the contract about it, so the earnest money couldn't serve it's purpose. The seller was demanding to keep all the earnest money AND wanted to sue us. We weren't sure what her particular suit would be... if it was to force us to "perform" (go through with buying the house) but there was also some talk between lawyers that she would sue us for her expenses while the house sat back on the market which included mortgage payments (thanks to public records we found out she did not actually owe a mortgage on the house), professional landscapers to take care of the yard (she wasn't living there anymore. Again, thanks to public records I knew she lived in a $750,000 house on a lake in a different town), electric bills and other utilities, and so on and so forth.

Basically she was a money-hungry bitched and was lying about a lot of things. And again, our real estate agent should have caught that flaw in our contract but he didn't because he was taking advice from THE LISTING AGENT, and was new and bad at his job.

princessleia22 · March 2015

I would just write a quick e-mail response saying that you appreciate all of her help in the past, but you have chosen to list the home with a different agent that was recommended by a friend. That's it. I would leave it at that and not respond if she tries to contact you further. It's just a nice professional courtesy to let her know.

kvruns · March 2015

novella1186 said:

kvruns said:

That was another place we got screwed. The listing agent added a clause to the contract about it, so the earnest money couldn't serve it's purpose. The seller was demanding to keep all the earnest money AND wanted to sue us. We weren't sure what her particular suit would be... if it was to force us to "perform" (go through with buying the house) but there was also some talk between lawyers that she would sue us for her expenses while the house sat back on the market which included mortgage payments (thanks to public records we found out she did not actually owe a mortgage on the house), professional landscapers to take care of the yard (she wasn't living there anymore. Again, thanks to public records I knew she lived in a $750,000 house on a lake in a different town), electric bills and other utilities, and so on and so forth.

Basically she was a money-hungry bitched and was lying about a lot of things. And again, our real estate agent should have caught that flaw in our contract but he didn't because he was taking advice from THE LISTING AGENT, and was new and bad at his job.

so weird! When I was selling my house last spring I had a signed contract, earnest money, etc and then the buyers backed out because they were going to be self-paying a bunch of medical expenses and got some bad news and decided they couldn't buy the house after all. My agent was like well you should get to keep the earnest money since they are backing out for no reason (wasn't like inspector found a problem or anything) but at the end of the day if they don't release the earnest money quickly it just means more time the house sits on the market without us being able to really show it to others until it is clear of that contract.

As a seller it sucked because while I ended up getting the earnest money, my house kind of went stale in that 2+ week period from when they agreed to backing out so it looked like it had been on the market longer than it had. Between having to pay extra mortgage, extra staging, and ending up getting a lower price 2 months later them backing out cost me like $4K but definitely would have never thought of suing!

KatieinBkln · March 2015

I'd just send her a quick note letting her know you are listing with someone else. It'll prevent her from wasting her efforts trying to win your business, and it'll prevent you from worrying about it.

jenna8984 · March 2015

Thanks everyone! I did decide to send her a quick one liner just to be friendly, hopefully she doesn't respond or ask any further questions!

novella1186 · March 2015

kvruns said:

novella1186 said:

kvruns said:

That was another place we got screwed. The listing agent added a clause to the contract about it, so the earnest money couldn't serve it's purpose. The seller was demanding to keep all the earnest money AND wanted to sue us. We weren't sure what her particular suit would be... if it was to force us to "perform" (go through with buying the house) but there was also some talk between lawyers that she would sue us for her expenses while the house sat back on the market which included mortgage payments (thanks to public records we found out she did not actually owe a mortgage on the house), professional landscapers to take care of the yard (she wasn't living there anymore. Again, thanks to public records I knew she lived in a $750,000 house on a lake in a different town), electric bills and other utilities, and so on and so forth.

Basically she was a money-hungry bitched and was lying about a lot of things. And again, our real estate agent should have caught that flaw in our contract but he didn't because he was taking advice from THE LISTING AGENT, and was new and bad at his job.

so weird! When I was selling my house last spring I had a signed contract, earnest money, etc and then the buyers backed out because they were going to be self-paying a bunch of medical expenses and got some bad news and decided they couldn't buy the house after all. My agent was like well you should get to keep the earnest money since they are backing out for no reason (wasn't like inspector found a problem or anything) but at the end of the day if they don't release the earnest money quickly it just means more time the house sits on the market without us being able to really show it to others until it is clear of that contract.

As a seller it sucked because while I ended up getting the earnest money, my house kind of went stale in that 2+ week period from when they agreed to backing out so it looked like it had been on the market longer than it had. Between having to pay extra mortgage, extra staging, and ending up getting a lower price 2 months later them backing out cost me like $4K but definitely would have never thought of suing!

Yeah she immediately re-listed the house and it sold like a week later, for more than what we were going to pay for it. I think that's another reason her case fell apart. There was pretty much nothing to sue us for. Our real estate attorney thought she was being fucking ridiculous but what are ya gonna do.

jenna8984 · March 2015

omg she really just asked me why and if it was something she did.

theartistformerlyknownas · March 2015

jenna8984 said:
omg she really just asked me why and if it was something she did.

Ignore the shit outta that. You don't owe her any more info than you've given her.

WinstonsGirl · March 2015

jenna8984 said:
omg she really just asked me why and if it was something she did.

I've been asked this before. Any time I've tried to explain to give someone constructive criticism to learn from it's ended badly. Just ignore it

manillabar · March 2015

lolo883 said:

jenna8984 said:
omg she really just asked me why and if it was something she did.
Ignore the shit outta that. You don't owe her any more info than you've given her.

Yeah I second this... There is no way answering that question ends well and honestly, like lolo said, you don't owe her an explanation.

KatieinBkln · March 2015

jenna8984 said:
omg she really just asked me why and if it was something she did.

ABORT, ABORT!

That one is an "ignore" to me.

Dreamergirl8812 · March 2015

novella1186 said:

kvruns said:

novella1186 said:
Also want to add, there is NO SHAME in wanting to work with a good agent. Real estate is a big thing money-wise so no need to fuck around. We made the mistake of working with a brand new agent who really was not good at his job back when we were house hunting. We ended up not buying the house we put an offer on cuz we found out we both might be losing our job.

Our agent didn't know what to do. Ran to the listing agent for help because they'd known each other forever. Listing agent is a dishonest shark who will cut your throat for $1, and was purposely giving him bad advice to manipulate him into HURTING us to HELP her own client.

Listing agent then took that info that she shouldn't have had about us, went to our mortgage company, mortgage guy was passing private information on to her, client who owned the house then got that info that should never have been shared, hired a lawyer, and tried to sue us.

We then hire a lawyer and bitter bitch seller had no case so she had to drop it, but by that point we'd lost $3,000 in legal fees.

Agents and mortgage company then got investigated by the FTC (I may or may not have tipped them off. Ha.) and were found to be guilty of many many many wrong things.

Big. Fucking. Dramatic. Mess.

And months and months of the worst stress. We ended up with no house and lost all that money and went through all that. Ugh. But hey, we realized we weren't even married yet and had just survived a major trauma together so that was good.

Moral of the story: I wish we had the sense to use an experienced agent, who would have known how to end the deal (our contract had expired because by then so we were free and clear anyway, so that's why bitter bitch couldn't sue us, but our agent failed to catch that), and how to protect us from such a mess, and how to advise us on what to do, and NOT go fucking talking to the listing agent about OUR INFORMATION. The rage.

what were they suing you for? To get to keep the earnest money or something else? Buyers can always back out, you just might lose the earnest money. Crazy ordeal though
That was another place we got screwed. The listing agent added a clause to the contract about it, so the earnest money couldn't serve it's purpose. The seller was demanding to keep all the earnest money AND wanted to sue us. We weren't sure what her particular suit would be... if it was to force us to "perform" (go through with buying the house) but there was also some talk between lawyers that she would sue us for her expenses while the house sat back on the market which included mortgage payments (thanks to public records we found out she did not actually owe a mortgage on the house), professional landscapers to take care of the yard (she wasn't living there anymore. Again, thanks to public records I knew she lived in a $750,000 house on a lake in a different town), electric bills and other utilities, and so on and so forth.

Basically she was a money-hungry bitched and was lying about a lot of things. And again, our real estate agent should have caught that flaw in our contract but he didn't because he was taking advice from THE LISTING AGENT, and was new and bad at his job.

That should have been so simple. That shit happens every day. There should have been a loan contingency in the RPA. Once the loan agency was notified of job loss they would have pulled the loan and the contract would have been null.

Also, in California it is totally illegal to share your client's info with anyone without their consent. And failing to represent your client's best interest (by going to the listing agent) is against the code of the association of Realtors.

novella1186 · March 2015

Dreamergirl8812 said:

kvruns said:

novella1186 said:
Also want to add, there is NO SHAME in wanting to work with a good agent. Real estate is a big thing money-wise so no need to fuck around. We made the mistake of working with a brand new agent who really was not good at his job back when we were house hunting. We ended up not buying the house we put an offer on cuz we found out we both might be losing our job.

Our agent didn't know what to do. Ran to the listing agent for help because they'd known each other forever. Listing agent is a dishonest shark who will cut your throat for $1, and was purposely giving him bad advice to manipulate him into HURTING us to HELP her own client.

Listing agent then took that info that she shouldn't have had about us, went to our mortgage company, mortgage guy was passing private information on to her, client who owned the house then got that info that should never have been shared, hired a lawyer, and tried to sue us.

We then hire a lawyer and bitter bitch seller had no case so she had to drop it, but by that point we'd lost $3,000 in legal fees.

Agents and mortgage company then got investigated by the FTC (I may or may not have tipped them off. Ha.) and were found to be guilty of many many many wrong things.

Big. Fucking. Dramatic. Mess.

And months and months of the worst stress. We ended up with no house and lost all that money and went through all that. Ugh. But hey, we realized we weren't even married yet and had just survived a major trauma together so that was good.

Moral of the story: I wish we had the sense to use an experienced agent, who would have known how to end the deal (our contract had expired because by then so we were free and clear anyway, so that's why bitter bitch couldn't sue us, but our agent failed to catch that), and how to protect us from such a mess, and how to advise us on what to do, and NOT go fucking talking to the listing agent about OUR INFORMATION. The rage.

what were they suing you for? To get to keep the earnest money or something else? Buyers can always back out, you just might lose the earnest money. Crazy ordeal though
That was another place we got screwed. The listing agent added a clause to the contract about it, so the earnest money couldn't serve it's purpose. The seller was demanding to keep all the earnest money AND wanted to sue us. We weren't sure what her particular suit would be... if it was to force us to "perform" (go through with buying the house) but there was also some talk between lawyers that she would sue us for her expenses while the house sat back on the market which included mortgage payments (thanks to public records we found out she did not actually owe a mortgage on the house), professional landscapers to take care of the yard (she wasn't living there anymore. Again, thanks to public records I knew she lived in a $750,000 house on a lake in a different town), electric bills and other utilities, and so on and so forth.

Basically she was a money-hungry bitched and was lying about a lot of things. And again, our real estate agent should have caught that flaw in our contract but he didn't because he was taking advice from THE LISTING AGENT, and was new and bad at his job.

That should have been so simple. That shit happens every day. There should have been a loan contingency in the RPA. Once the loan agency was notified of job loss they would have pulled the loan and the contract would have been null.

Also, in California it is totally illegal to share your client's info with anyone without their consent. And failing to represent your client's best interest (by going to the listing agent) is against the code of the association of Realtors.

----------------edited to fix boxes----------------------------------------

Not when you're working with a fraudulent lender. Which is why the FTC got involved. We were hit with so many wrong things it was just insane.

I notified the lender of our potential job loss. The lender told me he didn't care, literally this is what he said to me: "I don't care if you both lose your jobs. We're selling your loan to someone else anyway, so if you have the down payment today, that's all that matters to me."

The lender then went behind my back-- even though we had signed a privacy agreement-- and told the listing agent we were trying to "weasel" out of our contract by means of coercing him into denying our loan. Ok. Never mind that I'm legally required to provide the lender with relevant, current information that may impact their lending decision, and never mind that I never said we wanted out of the contract. The contract had already expired. So anyway.

The listing agent ran straight to the seller and told her to sue us. Which is pretty unscrupulous for an agent to do. Especially since we had signed an agreement with their firm to only use law suits as a way last resort and would try to settle any dispute by mediation first and blah blah blah.

The client got all stirred up, flew off the handle, and wanted ALL THE MONEY. And it just spiraled from there.

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