Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal Shower Suggestions

Hello! I am getting married in Maine (where I grew up) in August but have been living in DC for the last 10 + years. Most family is still in New England, but most friends are in DC or scattered all over the country. Looking at a potential bridal shower guest list and it's about split between the two locations. Any suggestions on what to do here? Perhaps have a family one in Maine (then I have to travel home) and a separate couples/friends one in DC? We are paying for our own wedding and I'll honestly do most of the legwork on my shower as I'm not one to ask for much from family and friends. Just looking for suggestions on what others have done in similar situations. Thank you!

Re: Bridal Shower Suggestions

  • aliwis000aliwis000
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited March 2015
    I think the advice here is that you do not have anything to really worry about. Since showers are a gift giving event, and you never host your own gift giving event you have no say in the where the potential shower is.

    IF someone does offer to host a shower for you it will be pretty much on their terms as far as what state/city. The only input you really have is the guest list, which would be the number of people the host says you can invite (read:the number they can afford) and making sure those people also appear on the wedding invite list. You cannot invite people to a pre-wedding event without inviting them to the wedding.

    Now if the host wants to have the shower somewhere you cannot afford to travel to you can simply decline the offer.

    Other than that it is hands off. If none of your family/friends offer to host a shower than you simply do not have one. Asking or pushing someone to host one for you is also rude.

    I hope this helps!!!
    Blue_BirdAuroraRose41chibiyui[Deleted User]
  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
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    mkcerullo said:

    Hello! I am getting married in Maine (where I grew up) in August but have been living in DC for the last 10 + years. Most family is still in New England, but most friends are in DC or scattered all over the country. Looking at a potential bridal shower guest list and it's about split between the two locations. Any suggestions on what to do here? Perhaps have a family one in Maine (then I have to travel home) and a separate couples/friends one in DC? We are paying for our own wedding and I'll honestly do most of the legwork on my shower as I'm not one to ask for much from family and friends. Just looking for suggestions on what others have done in similar situations. Thank you!

    What PP said. I know it can seem counterintuitive, but it's actually really rude to throw yourself a shower. If some offers to host one, great. If not, you don't need to worry about it.



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    [Deleted User]
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
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    mkcerullo said:

    Hello! I am getting married in Maine (where I grew up) in August but have been living in DC for the last 10 + years. Most family is still in New England, but most friends are in DC or scattered all over the country. Looking at a potential bridal shower guest list and it's about split between the two locations. Any suggestions on what to do here? Perhaps have a family one in Maine (then I have to travel home) and a separate couples/friends one in DC? We are paying for our own wedding and I'll honestly do most of the legwork on my shower as I'm not one to ask for much from family and friends. Just looking for suggestions on what others have done in similar situations. Thank you!

    Yeah, this is a no brainer. It's poor etiquette to throw your own shower, even under the guise of helping others throw you a shower. You should have minimal input in the throwing of your bridal shower and bachelorette.

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    Blue_Birdlovegood90chibiyui[Deleted User]
  • If a relative wants to host a shower for you in Maine, great! If a friend wants to host one for you in DC, double great! But no-go on hosting your own. "Hey everyone, come on over and bring me lots and lots of presents because I'm getting married!" See how bad that sounds?

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    Blue_Birdlovegood90chibiyui[Deleted User]
  • AuroraRose41AuroraRose41 New York
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
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    PP's covered it. Don't plan your own shower or do any of the "leg work". But just a head's up, IF someone offers to throw you one in Maine, and you accept, then you are responsible for figuring out how to get the gifts back to DC. That means accepting the fact that you will have to drive there and back with all of them or pay to have them shipped to you. 

    [Deleted User]
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
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    mkcerullo said:

    Hello! I am getting married in Maine (where I grew up) in August but have been living in DC for the last 10 + years. Most family is still in New England, but most friends are in DC or scattered all over the country. Looking at a potential bridal shower guest list and it's about split between the two locations. Any suggestions on what to do here? Perhaps have a family one in Maine (then I have to travel home) and a separate couples/friends one in DC? We are paying for our own wedding and I'll honestly do most of the legwork on my shower as I'm not one to ask for much from family and friends. Just looking for suggestions on what others have done in similar situations. Thank you!

    The bolded is good. Keep that attitude. However, since you can't really throw a party where the purpose is to celebrate you and bring you presents, there's no legwork for you to do. If family or friends offer to take it on, you can accept or decline graciously depending on where they want to throw it, and then let them know people from the wedding guest list that they can consider inviting. If they don't, you don't have a shower - plenty of people have been successfully married without one.

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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
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    Don't throw your own shower, and don't ask anyone to do it for you. If someone offers to throw you a shower, they will tell you what city they want to host it in. From there, depending on the number of guests the hosts can accommodate, you'll work out whether to invite people from the other location.

    If you aren't comfortable with someone throwing a shower for you, and that's fine, just decline any offers.

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