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Help

fhavens11fhavens11 member
First Anniversary First Comment
edited March 2015 in Wedding Woes
Hello All!  As exciting as it is planning a wedding we all know the budget issues...
Wedding budgeting is hard enough and my fiances cat recently became ill and is now in the ER.  So far we have paid 1300 in vet bills this past weekend alone and there is still more so on behalf of my fiance and our beloved cat buddy Im trying to reach out anyway I can to help Buddy.  Please share the page or even donate if possible any bit no matter how small helps, Between wedding and now this our funds are now completely drained and we want to do whatever we can to help Buddy.




Edited by moderator to remove TOS violation
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Re: Help

  • flantasticflantastic member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2015
    fhavens11 said:

    Hello All!  As exciting as it is planning a wedding we all know the budget issues...
    Wedding budgeting is hard enough and my fiances cat recently became ill and is now in the ER.  So far we have paid 1300 in vet bills this past weekend alone and there is still more so on behalf of my fiance and our beloved cat buddy Im trying to reach out anyway I can to help Buddy.  Please share the page or even donate if possible any bit no matter how small helps, Between wedding and now this our funds are now completely drained and we want to do whatever we can to help Buddy.


    edited by moderator to remove TOS violation

    This is not the place to be soliciting for money. 
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  • fhavens11fhavens11 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    This is not money for the wedding but for our sick cat so he can get proper treatment, No negativity will be tolerated, I am simply asking for those to help share and if they wish they can donate as well.  Pets are like children and the cat is in the ER at the moment.  If you have nothing nice to say then do not comment or you will be reported.  Thank you
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  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    fhavens11 said:

    This is not money for the wedding but for our sick cat so he can get proper treatment, No negativity will be tolerated, I am simply asking for those to help share and if they wish they can donate as well.  Pets are like children and the cat is in the ER at the moment.  If you have nothing nice to say then do not comment or you will be reported.  Thank you

    6's point is that you should be able to handle all of your finances, including surprise expenses, on your own.  Maybe you need to scale back/postpone your wedding.  Get a second/third/fourth job.  Do what YOU have to do to pay for your own life.

    And YOU should be reported for asking for money here.
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Congratulations, because while no one here was saying anything that violated the terms of service, asking for money and linking to a GoFundMe IS against the TOS. Go to your friends and family if you need to get money or look into CareCredit.

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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Darling, if you report anything here, you're going to get your post deleted, b/c you're in TOS violation by doing this.

    Find a different board.
    �
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper


    fhavens11 said:

    Hello All!  As exciting as it is planning a wedding we all know the budget issues...
    Wedding budgeting is hard enough and my fiances cat recently became ill and is now in the ER.  So far we have paid 1300 in vet bills this past weekend alone and there is still more so on behalf of my fiance and our beloved cat buddy Im trying to reach out anyway I can to help Buddy.  Please share the page or even donate if possible any bit no matter how small helps, Between wedding and now this our funds are now completely drained and we want to do whatever we can to help Buddy.




    Edited by moderator to remove TOS violation

    That certainly implies you can't afford both.  I understand people consider pets a family member, but a kid costs a shitton more than a cat.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    6fsn said:


    fhavens11 said:

    Hello All!  As exciting as it is planning a wedding we all know the budget issues...
    Wedding budgeting is hard enough and my fiances cat recently became ill and is now in the ER.  So far we have paid 1300 in vet bills this past weekend alone and there is still more so on behalf of my fiance and our beloved cat buddy Im trying to reach out anyway I can to help Buddy.  Please share the page or even donate if possible any bit no matter how small helps, Between wedding and now this our funds are now completely drained and we want to do whatever we can to help Buddy.




    Edited by moderator to remove TOS violation

    That certainly implies you can't afford both.  I understand people consider pets a family member, but a kid costs a shitton more than a cat.
    That is what I'm thinking.

    I'm sorry about your cat.  Unfortunately, we all come across difficult financial periods in our lives.  It's just part of life.

     I'm not saying $1300 isn't a lot of money. It is, but it's not so much that you should result in begging for money from strangers to help you out.  Make cuts to the wedding budget, get  CareCredit (CreditCare, not sure which it is), whatever. 

    I have 2 dogs of my own.  I have a saving account just for these types of situations.  If that is not enough, I will use a credit card.    I can't even imagine begging for money from strangers.   

     Sucks being an adult and having to make hard choices. Better get use to it now then later.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    lyndausvi said:

    6fsn said:


    fhavens11 said:

    Hello All!  As exciting as it is planning a wedding we all know the budget issues...
    Wedding budgeting is hard enough and my fiances cat recently became ill and is now in the ER.  So far we have paid 1300 in vet bills this past weekend alone and there is still more so on behalf of my fiance and our beloved cat buddy Im trying to reach out anyway I can to help Buddy.  Please share the page or even donate if possible any bit no matter how small helps, Between wedding and now this our funds are now completely drained and we want to do whatever we can to help Buddy.




    Edited by moderator to remove TOS violation

    That certainly implies you can't afford both.  I understand people consider pets a family member, but a kid costs a shitton more than a cat.
    That is what I'm thinking.

    I'm sorry about your cat.  Unfortunately, we all come across difficult financial periods in our lives.  It's just part of life.

     I'm not saying $1300 isn't a lot of money. It is, but it's not so much that you should result in begging for money from strangers to help you out.  Make cuts to the wedding budget, get  CareCredit (CreditCare, not sure which it is), whatever. 

    I have 2 dogs of my own.  I have a saving account just for these types of situations.  If that is not enough, I will use a credit card.    I can't even imagine begging for money from strangers.   

     Sucks being an adult and having to make hard choices. Better get use to it now then later.
    CareCredit, yep. We also have savings to help with the care of our three dogs, and the two older ones have health insurance as well. The youngest will get health insurance when she's five.

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  • fhavens11fhavens11 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I love how people assume that A) I dont have kids, B) dont have a mortage and C) havent tried all other avenues such as CareCredit.  This was something to be posted to help a cat who is just as much a family member as the rest of my family.  DONT Assume when you dont know the full scenario.  There is no shame in asking others to help, Im sure if you had a sick family member and did not have the funds because you used everything you had in your bank account and all cards at the moment you would ask.  I find people are highly critical and selfish at most times.  Its not like Im asking money to pay for a wedding, this was a emergency situation and with all other bills all of our savings including for our wedding has been used.  Anyone planning a wedding should know when you have contracts you dont get your money back and most dont have a huge savings you save month to month and pay as you go along.  The 1300 has been from this past week ALONE.  Plus the additional 1500 from this visit alone Trolling is all this is, I am just glad for those who have helped from family to strangers who are compassionate to help those in need.  I hope nooone ever runs into a emergency situation where they cannot afford to pay the remainder, a vet ER is different from a human ER you have to pay funds upfront and then any remaining balance upon pickup if you cant pay you dont get your pet back.  Emergencies happen.  Implying it is shameful to ask for help when you truly need it is laughable thats like saying dont donate to charities, dont use your health insurance, dont give money to a friend if they forgot a lunch etc...  What is wrong with the world today....
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  • flantasticflantastic member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    fhavens11 said:

    I love how people assume that A) I dont have kids, B) dont have a mortage and C) havent tried all other avenues such as CareCredit.  This was something to be posted to help a cat who is just as much a family member as the rest of my family.  DONT Assume when you dont know the full scenario.  There is no shame in asking others to help, Im sure if you had a sick family member and did not have the funds because you used everything you had in your bank account and all cards at the moment you would ask.  I find people are highly critical and selfish at most times.  Its not like Im asking money to pay for a wedding, this was a emergency situation and with all other bills all of our savings including for our wedding has been used.  Anyone planning a wedding should know when you have contracts you dont get your money back and most dont have a huge savings you save month to month and pay as you go along.  The 1300 has been from this past week ALONE.  Plus the additional 1500 from this visit alone Trolling is all this is, I am just glad for those who have helped from family to strangers who are compassionate to help those in need.  I hope nooone ever runs into a emergency situation where they cannot afford to pay the remainder, a vet ER is different from a human ER you have to pay funds upfront and then any remaining balance upon pickup if you cant pay you dont get your pet back.  Emergencies happen.  Implying it is shameful to ask for help when you truly need it is laughable thats like saying dont donate to charities, dont use your health insurance, dont give money to a friend if they forgot a lunch etc...  What is wrong with the world today....

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    edited March 2015
    @fhavens11 - Emergencies happen. Yup. They happen to everyone. You, your cat, me, my cat...

    For emergencies I have an emergency fund that I worked hard to build up over time. I sacrificed in other areas to make sure it happened. Be it needing expensive car repairs, personal care, job loss or other tragedy, I can handle it because I made that fund a priority and I haven't touched it. Not for the wedding, not for starbucks or going out to eat, nothing. When I got a cat, I upped the fund in case something happens. I'm pregnant and working on upping the fund in case something happens to my child. When we get a dog, I'll up the fund again. This is personal finance 101.

    Here's what an emergency fund ISN'T: asking strangers to pay for your cat because you prioritized your wedding and other shit without properly planning.

    No one here is a bad person for telling you to face the world like an adult. Maybe this will help you learn to manage your money a little better in the future.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Soliciting money on this site is against the TOS.

    Regardless, I have never and will never give money to some random person on the internet.    Sorry if that makes me a bitch.   With my family and friends I KNOW them and their situation.  For all I know you are a good creative writer who posted a few sad pictures to pull at stranger's heart strings.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • fhavens11fhavens11 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    You cannot make judgement on others situations you do not know personally, you can not say that I prioritized other things or that I did not have a separate savings.  If you do not wish to help then so be it that is your own choice, I simply asked for people to share it and if they wished to donate they could.  People disgust me because they are so quick to judge.  I could judge you saying you may be a uptight person who is heartless and beats your kids or pets but Im NOT.  I could say that you have your money because you stole it but I dont so dont judge others.  You dont have to comment its not affecting your life in any way shape or form you dont have to share or donate.  Thanks to people unlike you we have raised  a good amount so far because people understand and still have the sense of community.  Were not asking for much just enough to cover the remainder vet bill so he can get proper care and be brought home to recover and get better.     Stop being Trolls.  Dont like my choices Oh Well
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  • fhavens11fhavens11 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    If that were true I would have not put the vets number along with what hospital he is at as they said people may call in and donate to them directly so it would never even reach my hands.  I understand there are people who scam but Im not one of them and I provided all the info to prove the validity What I dont appreciate is people who judge.  If you had a situation and you needed some help and did the same thing I would donate it may not be much but any bit helps.  Thats the way I was raised and I have always helped others in need. 
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  • flantasticflantastic member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2015
    fhavens11 said:

    You cannot make judgement on others situations you do not know personally, you can not say that I prioritized other things or that I did not have a separate savings.  If you do not wish to help then so be it that is your own choice, I simply asked for people to share it and if they wished to donate they could.  People disgust me because they are so quick to judge.  I could judge you saying you may be a uptight person who is heartless and beats your kids or pets but Im NOT.  I could say that you have your money because you stole it but I dont so dont judge others.  You dont have to comment its not affecting your life in any way shape or form you dont have to share or donate.  Thanks to people unlike you we have raised  a good amount so far because people understand and still have the sense of community.  Were not asking for much just enough to cover the remainder vet bill so he can get proper care and be brought home to recover and get better.     Stop being Trolls.  Dont like my choices Oh Well

    fhavens11 said:

    If that were true I would have not put the vets number along with what hospital he is at as they said people may call in and donate to them directly so it would never even reach my hands.  I understand there are people who scam but Im not one of them and I provided all the info to prove the validity What I dont appreciate is people who judge.  If you had a situation and you needed some help and did the same thing I would donate it may not be much but any bit helps.  Thats the way I was raised and I have always helped others in need. 



    If you are responding to someone directly, hit the "quote" button beneath their post. Right now no one has any idea who you're talking to.

    edit because "no one has no idea" is ridiculous grammar

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    @flantastic - I'm pretty sure the judgment post was directed toward me. And she's right, I'm definitely judging.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • flantasticflantastic member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    southernbelle0915 said:

    @flantastic - I'm pretty sure the judgment post was directed toward me. And she's right, I'm definitely judging.



    My post was mostly for the JIC quote, but also because I didn't feel like spending the time figuring it out. And I'm right there with you on the judging.

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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    We've started calling our Golden Retriever 'Captain Vet Bill' because we've racked up so much with him since December. But it's a part of dog lyfe and we prepared ourselves for it. In fact, the expenses of three dogs are one of the major reasons we spent so little on our wedding -- I think it was like $6000 altogether for the wedding. There are so many more important things in life than a party, and this is a perfect example.

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  • PMeg819PMeg819 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yeah, I am judging. Here's the deal. I have two dogs and they are family members. I do have a mortgage and kids. I have other life expenses. When my dog had a tumor on her jaw, we paid the money. Did it suck to have to shell out thousands for surgery? Yep. It sucks because it's an ongoing expense almost 3 years later. But we had savings, and we didn't go around crowdfunding it because we are adults. We cut expenses where we could, tapped into savings, etc. Basically, we were adults.

    If your cat is so freaking important, put the wedding planning to the side and cancel things to get the money to pay. Additionally, you can call other vets. We got second opinions from a few vets as to the best course of action for our dog and made our decision.

    And you know what, this is just tacky. It's tacky and cheap that you'd come find strangers on a wedding website to come solicit to. And you can call me a bitch, but if you are that desperate for money and can't afford to treat the cat then maybe you need to have a straight talk with your vet about end of life because you won't be able to afford the further treatment needed.

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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Gosh dang I'm too much of a grown up hardened farm kid... 

    And yea - soliciting to random people you've never met nor developed an internet "relationship" with to ask for money... uh no...

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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper

    I think she just tried to put me in my place.  Yep, I'm a bitch.

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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    fhavens11 said:

    You cannot make judgement on others situations you do not know personally, you can not say that I prioritized other things or that I did not have a separate savings.  If you do not wish to help then so be it that is your own choice, I simply asked for people to share it and if they wished to donate they could.  People disgust me because they are so quick to judge.  I could judge you saying you may be a uptight person who is heartless and beats your kids or pets but Im NOT.  I could say that you have your money because you stole it but I dont so dont judge others.  You dont have to comment its not affecting your life in any way shape or form you dont have to share or donate.  Thanks to people unlike you we have raised  a good amount so far because people understand and still have the sense of community.  Were not asking for much just enough to cover the remainder vet bill so he can get proper care and be brought home to recover and get better.     Stop being Trolls.  Dont like my choices Oh Well

    HAHAHA. As soon as you ask for money, you're letting us in on your personal life.  There's not much that's as personal as money.  So...if you're asking random internet strangers for money, they're going to start judging.  The more you lash out and become insulting, the more people are going to judge and the less they're going to feel bad for you.  And no one's going to give you money, no matter how nicely you ask.  
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  • pegasuskatpegasuskat member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    Actually, I would NOT ask for money from anybody, even for human medical bills.  As a matter of fact I had to file bankruptcy several years ago because of huge medical bills.  I'm sorry about your cat, but I think the stupid gofund me's are being very over-used.  The only time I consider donating to anybody is when they are NOT asking themselves.  If a friend sets it up to help and its truely needed then yep, I usually donate if I'm able.
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  • charlottesmom0626charlottesmom0626 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    I'm confused OP. Why are you still here? You asked everyone for money(against the rules), then when they all said "no thanks, I have my own wedding, my own animals, and my own kids to pay for" you got pissed and responded to everyone?

    Go post your needs on Craig's list or gofundme or whatever. Good luck.
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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I only give money to panhandlers when their cardboard signs are clever. OP thus far has not been clever (and called a mod a troll).



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