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Are menus a big deal?

novella1186novella1186 member
First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
in Chit Chat
I feel like I'm missing something here. I know it's common to have printed menus at weddings, but I see no point, so we're not doing that. I've seen suggestions where the couple should have some kind of sign with the menu written on it at the entrance to the reception if they don't plan to do printed menus. Why? 

And I just saw in another thread that people should have a menu section on their wedding website. Why? 

When I'm a wedding guest, I don't worry about seeing a menu. It's not like I get to order what I want. The food options are limited, so I eat whatever they serve. I mean, what other option is there? The food just is what it is. 

What am I not getting? Should I add this to my site and have something at the reception listing the menu? Is that a thing guests usually look for? Is it helpful to people? Is it just appreciated so they know what to expect? I'm honestly really confused right now. 

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Re: Are menus a big deal?

  • redoryxredoryx member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited March 2015
    The only reason I can think of is if you know you have people attending who have allergies or limited food options. Like, when I was a vegetarian I liked to know what my choices will be at the reception and if it would be helpful to maybe eat a bigger lunch 'cause I'll be stuck to mostly side dishes and salad or something. (You'd also hope a couple would take those into consideration when planning a menu, but that doesn't always happen)

    Other than that, like you said, I eat what's served.
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  • labrolabro member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    We had both. The printed menus we did didn't matter even a tiny bit because it was a buffet and it wasn't like people were ordering. I just liked the look of the menu folded in to the napkin resting on the charger plate.

    Our caterer showed a printed menu at the head of the buffet that detailed the food choices so people knew what to expect. I think it's a good thing in this case, that way if someone hates mushrooms, is allergic to bleu cheese, whatever, they can avoid particular dishes if they need to.

    I didn't have menu details on the wedding website, and nobody actually asked about the menu ahead of the wedding either.



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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:

    Menus make your wedding legitimate!

    Well then I better start planning my re-do ;) 
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  • littlemushroomlittlemushroom member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I know people who want know what is being served so that they can eat beforehand if it is something they don't care for or can't eat. They would hate to leave early just because they are hungry, especially if they can plan ahead.

    Example: One of my friends served chipotle rubbed pork as their only entree. My mom and sister can't eat anything spicy so they ate before they went just in case the pork was too spicy for them. It turned out it was too spicy, and they were thankful for the heads up.
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  • sarahuflsarahufl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    To be perfectly honest, I don't remember WHAT I had. I know I didn't make individual ones, nor did I put a sign in the entry.

    I think my caterer put small signs by each station on the buffet listing what each dish was.

    IMO, they are not important. Although someone should be able to tell people what each dish is in case of allergies.
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  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    I definitely don't think they are required.. But it's nice to know what you will be served I guess. I printed out menus because I had chef stations where the chef prepares entrees for you - so I wanted everyone to know what was available around the room.

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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    littlemushroom said:

    I know people who want know what is being served so that they can eat beforehand if it is something they don't care for or can't eat. They would hate to leave early just because they are hungry, especially if they can plan ahead.

    Example: One of my friends served chipotle rubbed pork as their only entree. My mom and sister can't eat anything spicy so they ate before they went just in case the pork was too spicy for them. It turned out it was too spicy, and they were thankful for the heads up.

    So in this case you think it's helpful to have something on the website, so people can plan ahead? Or was it included with the invitation? 
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I didn't have menus. People had to pick their entree when they sent back their reply, so they somewhat knew what the expect. 
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  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln member
    First Answer First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I might do a big poster-style menu, just because the food at my wedding is gonna be BITCHIN' and I want to showcase it so people know exactly what manner of delicious mashed potatoes they're enjoying, but I recognize that this is just me AWing my awesome caterers, not a necessary thing. And it'll absolutely go by the wayside if I decide it's too much of a pain in the ass to make.

    I will ask people to inform me of their dietary restrictions on the RSVP card, though, to avoid any allergy/vegetarian/gluten-free issues.
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  • flutteringinflflutteringinfl member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    We're having a plated meal with pre-determined salad and dessert options. I might include a mention on it on our website, under the reception page. Maybe I'll do small paper menus. I dunno. Like you, it strikes me as so low on the list of important things but I guess some people might appreciate it? I feel at the last wedding I went to, FI's sister, there were no menus and it was a buffet. I don't remember feeling upset about that.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Our guests will be ordering tableside from a few pre-selected options, so we're going to have printed menus. Otherwise the staff would have to repeat the options to every person, so it just makes sense. But if you are having a buffet or the guests have already selected their entree on the response card, they are certainly not necessary. I enjoy seeing what I'm going to eat, but if there is no menu it's never bothered me. 
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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    We're doing "family style" dining, where the food is served on big platters to each table and people just share. So they don't have to choose 1 thing, they can have a little bit of everything. And it will be right in front of them so they can see whether its vegetarian or whatever. 

    But now I'm beginning to think I should do some kind of menu just to specify if it's gluten free (I know at least 1 guest has serious health issues with gluten) and stuff like that? 

    Ugh I hate when I second guess stuff. I'm so annoying. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Except for allergies, I don't think it matters that much.  I just like seeing the menu because I love food. 


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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    We had menus included in our package cost so it was no skin off my nose.
    Plus, we loved our food and it was nice to be AW about it, haha. 

    Here's one good reason to have a menu: we had five courses. Don't fill up on bread!
    Oh, it's three courses and you don't like the entree? Fill up on bread. 
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    I have never in my life seen a menu at a wedding. Not at each place, not at each table, not on a big sign, not on little signs at the buffet. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    novella1186 said:

    We're doing "family style" dining, where the food is served on big platters to each table and people just share. So they don't have to choose 1 thing, they can have a little bit of everything. And it will be right in front of them so they can see whether its vegetarian or whatever. 


    But now I'm beginning to think I should do some kind of menu just to specify if it's gluten free (I know at least 1 guest has serious health issues with gluten) and stuff like that? 

    Ugh I hate when I second guess stuff. I'm so annoying. 
    You could always have the servers tell the table if X is gluten free or if Y has nuts in it in case someone is allergic.

    Also, the servers should be aware of what is in each dish so that if a guest asks them if something is in it they can provide an answer.

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  • flyingfoxesflyingfoxes member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    We aren't doing a menu.  Ours is buffet, hopefully people will be able to pick around whatever they do or don't like.

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  • littlemushroomlittlemushroom member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    novella1186 said:

    littlemushroom said:

    I know people who want know what is being served so that they can eat beforehand if it is something they don't care for or can't eat. They would hate to leave early just because they are hungry, especially if they can plan ahead.

    Example: One of my friends served chipotle rubbed pork as their only entree. My mom and sister can't eat anything spicy so they ate before they went just in case the pork was too spicy for them. It turned out it was too spicy, and they were thankful for the heads up.

    So in this case you think it's helpful to have something on the website, so people can plan ahead? Or was it included with the invitation? 
    I think something on the website is more helpful for planning ahead purposes. It was on my friend's website. We did a buffet and I listed all the entrees and sides on our website as well. Even still, a bunch of people still asked us about our menu long before the wedding.

    I don't see the point of menus at the reception itself. At that point, there is nothing they can do about it. If they didn't care before they got there, I agree with you that they should just eat what they are served and menus are pointless.
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  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Maybe just a heads up for what you're having, but not required at all! I kind of find wedding websites to be fun but really really unnecessary. Just a silly side thing to make if you have lots of time
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  • badbnagdwaybadbnagdway member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    This is helpful because I have been wondering whether we need menus too. We are doing a buffet but I know that I personally am a weird food stalker and I like to know what my options are beforehand. I always check the menus of restaurants beforehand, for example. But I also am pescatarian, so I have to make sure there are things I can and will eat and that is why I am not sure if my food curiosity is normal. 

    Like others, all I did on our RSVP cards and website was to pose the question "Do you have any food allergies or dietary restrictions?" We may have a special meal for someone with a certain allergy or restriction, depending on what it is. I think our menu is super versatile -- a meat (FI still deciding on what, we talked about brisket), tilapia, ratatouille, mashed potatoes, salad and breads. I liked the ratatouille because it doubles as a vegetarian entree and as a veggie side. 

    The thing that worries me about putting info out there on the website is what if a menu item has to change for some reason (like, the caterer gets her tilapia order and it's no good so she makes a different fish) and someone gets their heart set on it? 
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I've never seen a menu at a wedding before.  I plan on having a sign or something for the buffet so people know what is what (brisket v pulled pork v pulled chicken kind of thing) but that's it
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment First Answer
    Only wedding I've been to that I wished I had a menu (or really just labels specifying the food on the buffet) was one I went to that had all Indian cuisine! 

    I tried a little of everything but wish I knew what everything was.

    I mean otherwise, anyone who has questions about the dishes or ingredients can just ask!
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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ok I'm feeling way better... I seriously thought that menus were some kind of huge important thing (based on the stuff I kept seeing) and I had somehow missed the memo. 

    But now I'm thinking back to the weddings I've been to and I don't think any of them had any form of menu.... My stomach is kind of weird/sensitive so I have to be pretty careful about what I eat, but I'm not picky at all. If the beef is spicy, I'll eat the chicken. If the chicken is spicy too, I'll eat a huge salad. Whatever. 

    I just want to make sure my guests all get plenty to eat, though. Being hungry sucks. 
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  • loveislouderloveislouder member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2015
    We're having little menus printed for each table because it is included in our package.

    That being said, as a person with a seafood allergy, if I am RSVP-ing to any event, I always include on my card that I'm allergic to seafood because I don't want to be that person dying from accidental ingestion and ruining the wedding, you know?
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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    KatieinBkln said:

    loveislouder said:

    we're having little menus printed for each table because it is included in our package.

    That being said, as a person with a seafood allergy, if I am RSVP-ing to any event, I always include on my card that I'm allergic to seafood because I don't want to be that person dying from accidental ingestion and ruining the wedding, you know?

    I smell a SS thread! "OMG my wedding was RUINED by my inconsiderate friend who went and DIED at our reception! I want to send her bereaved family a mean letter and I need advice on how to word it politely!"
    What's a cute poem I could use to tell someone to fuck off for dying at my wedding? 
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  • flutteringinflflutteringinfl member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    KatieinBkln said:

    loveislouder said:

    we're having little menus printed for each table because it is included in our package.

    That being said, as a person with a seafood allergy, if I am RSVP-ing to any event, I always include on my card that I'm allergic to seafood because I don't want to be that person dying from accidental ingestion and ruining the wedding, you know?

    I smell a SS thread! "OMG my wedding was RUINED by my inconsiderate friend who went and DIED at our reception! I want to send her bereaved family a mean letter and I need advice on how to word it politely!"
    Oh God. I read "smell" as "saw" at first and had a minor panic attack at the idea of someone behaving this way.
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  • dcbride86dcbride86 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    One of the tiers of our cake has nuts (almonds) in it, so I wanted to make sure I had a printed menu just in case of allergies.  It seemed silly to just list the cake, so I printed the whole menu

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  • littlepeplittlepep member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I've made sure to have gluten free and vegetarian options for people who I know need it, but I'm not planning to do menus. I've basically told the people who I know have allergies I'm having X, Y, Z that you can eat. 
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