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Wedding 911
brettnabi
member
So Overwhelmed I Want To Puke
in Wedding 911
So this I guess is more of a vent than anything else, but I just don't know what to do. Firstly I feel like an ass, a year ago when my fiance and I talked about what we wanted from our wedding I was the one who opted for a more traditional celebration (in lou of his elopement idea), but now we're half way through planning, nothing seems to be going right, we're way past any kind of a reasonable budget and I just want to scream. ): I've been regretting my choice for something more traditional and now all I wish we could do is fly off to Vegas and get it over with already. I've organized myself to the bone, I've got lists for my lists and it doesnt make a difference I still feel sick and panicky about the planning.
I feel totally out of control, his mothers been terrific, very supportive, but I feel like I have no say in anything, everyone says I do and that if theres something I don't like I just need to speak up, but when I say it's too much all I hear is that I'm over reacting and I need to just relax, it'll all work out (I just want to stab the next person who says that).
I'm DIYing as much as possible to keep expenses down but they still keep piling up. Please someone tell me I'm not crazy. I love my fiance completely, I'm so excited to be married to him, but I'm just not looking forward to the wedding.
On top of everything I'm not really a social person and with a guest list nearing the 200's I want to puke just thinking about standing in front of so many people and then having to talk to them all after.
I feel totally out of control, his mothers been terrific, very supportive, but I feel like I have no say in anything, everyone says I do and that if theres something I don't like I just need to speak up, but when I say it's too much all I hear is that I'm over reacting and I need to just relax, it'll all work out (I just want to stab the next person who says that).
I'm DIYing as much as possible to keep expenses down but they still keep piling up. Please someone tell me I'm not crazy. I love my fiance completely, I'm so excited to be married to him, but I'm just not looking forward to the wedding.
On top of everything I'm not really a social person and with a guest list nearing the 200's I want to puke just thinking about standing in front of so many people and then having to talk to them all after.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: So Overwhelmed I Want To Puke
You said you feel like you have no say, but if you aren't planning your wedding, who is? Who is paying for it? Where is your FI in all of this? Those are great places to start. Finally, if you want a traditional wedding that's small and managable, that's fine too.
To have a beautiful, traditional wedding, you don't need a huge budget. You don't need a 200 person guest list. You don't need a million details that make you feel overwhelmed. But, it sounds like you are letting this all happen. I'm not going to tell you to relax, I'm going to tell you to grow a backbone, start saying "no", and plan and pay for the wedding you want.
Also, DIY does not necessarily save money. I have learned this. You may be better off just spending the money on whatever, and being done with it. Then you don't have to stress about things turning out a certain way, redoing them, extra trips to Hobby Lobby for more supplies, etc.
I guess just try to look at the big picture. You're getting married. You need a dress, suit, photographer, some food. I think Pinterest has actually made wedding planning more stressful. I know I see all this stuff that is really cute, and I want it too, but I also know that I am working full time in a brand new job, don't have family here, and at the end of the day I don't need that stuff..I would rather have some time to lay on the couch and watch TV.
Overall our wedding is super simple in theory, very minimal decorations. Were getting married in the fall, which in vermont is its own decoration, but we've been hitting speed bump after speed bump.
Sorry - you're acting um, what's the word... jk ... o.k. you need a little "come to Jesus" from the "Hindsight 20/20 department"... DIY IS NOT saving you a penny! It may in fact be costing you far more than hiring it out on a budget you can afford, especially in the value of your time and sanity/stress. I was a pure DIY bride to the point that I spent the wedding working instead of enjoying myself and the company of our guests. Did I save anything, looking back, no, What I spent on DIY I could have hired most things I did out. There were a few things I saved money on (like elaborate pew flowers), but what was the value of my time and the loss of the enjoyment that a wedding day is suppose to be. Remember, people plan funerals in the span of 3-7 days using many of the same vendors. Stop allowing yourself to stress out over details that really don't matter at the end of the day. No one cares if you have color coordinated drink napkins. No one cares if the chairs match, they care if they have a chair to sit on. No one cares if they're served hot dogs as long as all of your guests are served the same thing, it's kosher, and it tastes great (they will however get peeved if one guest gets served a better meal than someone else or one person gets a large filled slice of cake and they get an unfilled half-portion of cake or cupcake instead of the same)... At the end of the day, the only other person in the room you're really going to be concerned about is your FI (walking down the aisle, you'll be focused on FI more than anyone else), everyone else sort of melts and you're simply overjoyed to have your friends/family there to share in the moment with you and take it in.
RELAX and DELEGATE!!!! For the $50 you could have spent to hire it out, you'll spend $85 more than that on supplies/materials to DIY. One day this whole notion of DIY being cheaper is going to come to an end!!