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Chit Chat
lovesclimbing
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Buzzfeed - worst thing at a wedding
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Oh, Buzzfeed. This has just a few gifs of weddings gone awry and then asks people to comment with their own worst stories. Oh the comments, I am dying. And the gif of the little boy THROWING the ring bearer pillow is just too good.
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Re: Buzzfeed - worst thing at a wedding
"Worst wedding: the grooms 8 year-old son was the ring bearer. During the wedding party introductions at the reception he asked several times to be excused to go to the bathroom. After being told to wait several times he had a bout of massive diarrhea all in and on his tuxedo in front of all his family and friends.
I was that boy. I did not survive (socially)."
"I feel like I've been waiting my whole life for someone to ask this. I
used to work at a fairly popular venue in a small, southern city, and
here are some important and often overlooked tips (gleaned from real
life weddings) for having your perfect wedding:
1. Is it a
good idea to have a backup best man in case your first choice gets
busted and goes to jail before your big day? Yes. Maybe even have
*two* backups.
2. Parent/offspring dances aren't just for
fathers and daughters! You can have a mother/son dance as well, and it
won't make anyone uncomfortable if the song you choose is "Hero" by
Enrique Ig..le..si..?? Fuck it. Enrique Iguana. Don't dance with your
kids to Enrique Iguana.
3. If the pastor is dressed like a
member of your high school marching band, he might repeatedly ask you to
steal candy for him and you should probably do it.
4. To the white brides of interracial couples: If your obscenely
racist father (who - I swear to God - looks exactly like Colonel
Sanders) doesn't know his future son in law is black, the *best* time
for him to find out is *at the wedding.* This tip is surprisingly
legit; that was one of the most outrageously fun weddings I've ever been
to. Everyone got wasted and the pastor kept asking me to steal candy.)
5. If the bride has to go to the bathroom and asks if you could keep
an eye on her mother and to "make sure she doesn't 'drop it low,'" you
already know where her mother is and it is much too late to take
preventative action. Don't even bother.
6. Always - *always* -
have an open bar. I had this one guy hang out with me at the bar for
hours, getting drunker and drunker, and another guy came up to get a
drink. He was painfully tall, jarringly thin, and he kept smiling this
wide-eyed, unblinking smile. When he left, the drunk guy was visibly
creeped out and kept mumbling, "motherfucker looked like some shit out
of a goddamn scary movie." Everyone needs a line like that.
7.
And finally, a serious one: We had one wedding where one of the
guests had Tourette's. I don't know if he was worried about ruining
anything - he had a great sense of humor about it - but the way his
family handled it to make him feel better was really pretty sweet.
Before the ceremony and reception, he wrote down a few inappropriate
things he planned to yell at certain moments. All the guests got cards
and pencils and were welcome to guess which outbursts were real and
which were premeditated. At the end of the night, the scores were
tallied up and the winner got a prize. I loved it."