Who to invite - is this rude?

Re: Who to invite - is this rude?

• arrrghmatey member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  They're all adults, so etiquette-wise you are okay to not invite everyone. However, I would invite all of the family. It's just one more person and I see no reason why he/she should not be invited. If my two older sisters were invited to a family member's wedding and I wasn't, I'd probably feel a little hurt. Just my opinion.

                                   

  
  

                                                 

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• novella1186 member

  

  March 2015

  I think from an etiquette stand-point, you're fine. The adult children are not a social unit with the parents or with each other, and you're not splitting up a family because the children are all grown adults, if that makes sense. 

  
  

  My dad has 3 sisters. 2 of them are invited. The other one is always very rude to my mother and I, and I haven't seen or spoken to her in more than 12 years, so I saw no reason to invite her. It's not based on who's related to who, or who invited you to their wedding in the past or whatever. It's based on who the bride and groom are close to and want to share their day with. 

  

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• blabla89 member

  

  March 2015

  I think this depends on the family dynamics and relationship to the guests. From an etiquette standpoint, it's fine. I have one second cousin who would just be oh so hurt if we had invited her siblings but not her, but the other cousins I'm not close with probably wouldn't care.
  

  

  
  
  

  
  

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• KatWAG member

  

  March 2015

   

  tojai said:

  De-lurking
  
  I'm the MoH not the bride but had a question as we build our guest list.  I know you aren't supposed to break up social units, but is it considered rude to not invite one person of a family (children are grown adults).  For example the parents and two adult children are invited, but the third adult child is not invited. 
  
  It doesn't seem like breaking up a social unit as the children are grown up and have moved and established their own lives, but also seems a bit odd for every person in the family to be invited except one. 
  
  If it matters, the families have been friends since the children were small and all were invited to each other's weddings in the past.  The one child who is not invited is not as close as the other two children were, but there's no bad blood either.  They're perfectly civil and friendly when they do see each other.
  

  
  
  If this isn't your wedding, why are you involved in the guest list?

  Technically its fine to not invite an adult child. Although, I would include this person to avoid awkwardness.
  

  

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• kvruns member

  

  March 2015

  if there's no bad blood I would invite the 3rd person even if the couple isn't as close to them

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• FuddleOnParade member

  

  March 2015

  I'd invite the 3rd - weddings really aren't all THAT much fun so if they aren't that close there's a good possibility of them not coming.

  
  

  There's also the question of how adult are they?  A 35 year old might not care where a 20 year old would feel more slighted.

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• tojai member

  

  March 2015

  KatWAG said:

   

  tojai said:

  De-lurking
  
  I'm the MoH not the bride but had a question as we build our guest list.  I know you aren't supposed to break up social units, but is it considered rude to not invite one person of a family (children are grown adults).  For example the parents and two adult children are invited, but the third adult child is not invited. 
  
  It doesn't seem like breaking up a social unit as the children are grown up and have moved and established their own lives, but also seems a bit odd for every person in the family to be invited except one. 
  
  If it matters, the families have been friends since the children were small and all were invited to each other's weddings in the past.  The one child who is not invited is not as close as the other two children were, but there's no bad blood either.  They're perfectly civil and friendly when they do see each other.
  

  
  
  If this isn't your wedding, why are you involved in the guest list?

  Technically its fine to not invite an adult child. Although, I would include this person to avoid awkwardness.
  

  The bride asked for my help making the guest list and what my opinion would be about not inviting the third child.  Of course I don't really have a say in the guest list, but she's worried that it would be rude and asked for advice. 
  
  The person she's considering not inviting is 32 so I don't think it would be a huge deal, but she said she was probably going to invite them anyway.
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  March 2015

  tojai said:

  KatWAG said:

   

  tojai said:

  De-lurking
  
  I'm the MoH not the bride but had a question as we build our guest list.  I know you aren't supposed to break up social units, but is it considered rude to not invite one person of a family (children are grown adults).  For example the parents and two adult children are invited, but the third adult child is not invited. 
  
  It doesn't seem like breaking up a social unit as the children are grown up and have moved and established their own lives, but also seems a bit odd for every person in the family to be invited except one. 
  
  If it matters, the families have been friends since the children were small and all were invited to each other's weddings in the past.  The one child who is not invited is not as close as the other two children were, but there's no bad blood either.  They're perfectly civil and friendly when they do see each other.
  

  
  
  If this isn't your wedding, why are you involved in the guest list?

  Technically its fine to not invite an adult child. Although, I would include this person to avoid awkwardness.
  

  The bride asked for my help making the guest list and what my opinion would be about not inviting the third child.  Of course I don't really have a say in the guest list, but she's worried that it would be rude and asked for advice. 
  
  The person she's considering not inviting is 32 so I don't think it would be a huge deal, but she said she was probably going to invite them anyway.
  

  It wouldn't be rude to not invite the third child but it would make sense for her to do so.
  

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