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Wedding Etiquette Forum
aliwis000
member
Emily Post book..What is happening to this world?
So I had always tried to do the right thing etiquette wise. I am sure in my past I have made some mistakes out of ignorance and I accept that. However, I always knew I wanted to reduce the chance of making mistakes in the activities surrounding my wedding. How does one do this? By obtaining knowledge. So, when I said “Yes” to my FI I went out and started learning.
One avenue to knowledge included purchasing a wedding etiquette book. Little did I know the ridiculousness’ and horror I would find.
I wanted to share with everyone as perhaps it will help answer the question we all ask on these boards every day. “Where do brides get the idea that this is ok?!?!?” The answer may scare you, it could be from resources that, in the past, were considered trusted and respectable.
As noted I purchased a book. My particular copy is “Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette 6th Edition” By Anna Post and Lizzie Post (relatives of Emily Post).
Turning to almost any page in the book shows us that we are fighting an uphill battle when it comes to educating ourselves and others on proper etiquette.
Some of my favorites include:
“Guests invited to a wedding ceremony, whether or not they can attend, should send or bring a gift.”
“A wedding gift is a social obligation, but the choice of the fit is based on the giver’s affection for and relationship to the couple and their families and on their personal budget.”
Heck the title of one of the sections is “Is a wedding gift expected?” The answer? “Yes. Following long established tradition, everyone who receives a wedding invitation should send a gift – whether they attend the wedding or not.”
And yes they even address the honeymoon/financial registries:
“Check with your bank or investment house about financial gifts, some now hat registries for savings accounts, stocks, bonds, and other investments.”
“Now available through many travel companies and agents these registries allow guests to contribute to a couple’s honeymoon-trip fund.”
Now to be fair they do not explicitly say financial/honeymoon registries are ok, but not addressing that it is wrong is the same thing in my book.
I could go on for days with this thing. What ticks me off the most is we always say do not trust TheKnot or the like because they are out to make money and do not always promote good ideas. However, this book is an ETIQUETTE BOOK, you are paying for something which is supposed to TELL you what is RIGHT and what is WRONG.
Anyone else losing faith in humanity?
One avenue to knowledge included purchasing a wedding etiquette book. Little did I know the ridiculousness’ and horror I would find.
I wanted to share with everyone as perhaps it will help answer the question we all ask on these boards every day. “Where do brides get the idea that this is ok?!?!?” The answer may scare you, it could be from resources that, in the past, were considered trusted and respectable.
As noted I purchased a book. My particular copy is “Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette 6th Edition” By Anna Post and Lizzie Post (relatives of Emily Post).
Turning to almost any page in the book shows us that we are fighting an uphill battle when it comes to educating ourselves and others on proper etiquette.
Some of my favorites include:
“Guests invited to a wedding ceremony, whether or not they can attend, should send or bring a gift.”
“A wedding gift is a social obligation, but the choice of the fit is based on the giver’s affection for and relationship to the couple and their families and on their personal budget.”
Heck the title of one of the sections is “Is a wedding gift expected?” The answer? “Yes. Following long established tradition, everyone who receives a wedding invitation should send a gift – whether they attend the wedding or not.”
And yes they even address the honeymoon/financial registries:
“Check with your bank or investment house about financial gifts, some now hat registries for savings accounts, stocks, bonds, and other investments.”
“Now available through many travel companies and agents these registries allow guests to contribute to a couple’s honeymoon-trip fund.”
Now to be fair they do not explicitly say financial/honeymoon registries are ok, but not addressing that it is wrong is the same thing in my book.
I could go on for days with this thing. What ticks me off the most is we always say do not trust TheKnot or the like because they are out to make money and do not always promote good ideas. However, this book is an ETIQUETTE BOOK, you are paying for something which is supposed to TELL you what is RIGHT and what is WRONG.
Anyone else losing faith in humanity?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Emily Post book..What is happening to this world?
based on the giver’s affection for and relationship to the couple and
their families and on their personal budget.”
I certainly do not expect gifts for my wedding. I just had my bridal shower last weekend and one of my dear college friends did something that I thought was totally sweet! She has been having a lot of financial issues and I did not expect her to even be at the shower (it was a surprise shower, but she lives a state away and money is very tight). She got a ride with our other friend and together they drove up. To me, that was the biggest surprise of the shower. She wrote me a very heartfelt card and gave me some beautiful flowers. To me, that was such a nice gift because it came from the heart. She didn't have to give me anything--just her being there was enough. She said it was all she could afford, and I just thought that was the sweetest thing because in my eyes, she didn't have to bring anything at all.