Wedding Etiquette Forum

Children Invited

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Re: Children Invited

  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Your attitude kind of sucks and comes off as pretty standoffish. Invite them or don't, either way is fine.

    I loved having kids at my wedding- they had a blast. It was pretty adorable to see my nieces spinning around on the dance floor in their poofy dresses loudly singing "Let it Go".
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    plainjane0415ashley8918PrettyGirlLostpoodledoodleooo
  • We had a child-free wedding and got some push back as well. No one rudely told us they were going to bring their kid anyway. If they did, we would have told them that the child would not be accommodated. I would have explained to them that we weren't accommodating ANY children (not just their special snowflake). If they persisted, I would tell them that if they brought the child, they would be asked to leave. 


    So, question, and this is curiosity and nothing more: would you have really asked that the children leave? Well, not you, literally, but would you have instructed the coordinator to tell people they had to take the kids out? 
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  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I did not intend to hint that our friends are poor parents or that parents who bring their children to weddings are poor parents. I see how what I wrote is read that way, that is my fault, and I apologize. 


    My frustration is that we aren't talking about 1 or 2 or 10 kids, we're talking about an additional 50 kids we'd need to invite to cover everyone. We're the last in our respective friend groups to get married. Friends who have asked if their kids could come (even though their names weren't on the invitation), we have kindly explained this to them and they are still pushing back about why we should make exceptions for their children.  "Little Timmy is 13 months old and can't be away from mom yet." 
    I'm going to be in two weddings this fall. My kid will be 1.5-3 months old for them. Both weddings seem like they'll be full of kids, but if these couples decided they wanted a kid-free wedding (which we had except for our nieces) I would respect that, but also tell them that it meant I couldn't come (and therefore couldn't be a bridesmaid). There would be no hard feelings on my side, and I hope none on theirs.

    You and your friends just need to be both realistic about your rights as host and about their ability to make it to your wedding if the kids can't come.
  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited March 2015

    We had a child-free wedding and got some push back as well. No one rudely told us they were going to bring their kid anyway. If they did, we would have told them that the child would not be accommodated. I would have explained to them that we weren't accommodating ANY children (not just their special snowflake). If they persisted, I would tell them that if they brought the child, they would be asked to leave. 


    So, question, and this is curiosity and nothing more: would you have really asked that the children leave? Well, not you, literally, but would you have instructed the coordinator to tell people they had to take the kids out? 



    I totally would have the coordinator/security ask them to leave. It's a private invite-only event, and if people can't respect that then they can leave. I wouldn't care about damaging my relationship with them, because by bringing uninvited guests they are the ones damaging their relationship with me. It sounds harsh, and I understand lots of people would just let it go, but it doesn't make me a horrible person for doing otherwise.

    ETA: what @southernbelle0915 said below me- if it had been discussed already and clarified that the children weren't invited. Forgot to add that.

    Formerly martha1818

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  • I went to all kinds of weddings as a kid. They were great. I got to hang out with family I wouldn't otherwise see. Being a mix of Irish, Scottish, and German, we know how to drink so there were always people drinking, not a big deal. However, I remember not being invited to my aunt and uncle's birthday when I was 10 because they had a kid-free wedding and it hurt. 

    That being said, my girlfriend got married last fall and she didn't invite our 18 month old son. So I spent 4 weeks finding a sitter before I could RSVP. Even her own sister didn't bring her kids to the wedding. Was I insulted? No. Why? Because no one insinuated that weddings weren't for kids and I wasn't to bring mine under any circumstance.

    I'm having an afternoon wedding specifically so that I can have children (including my own) at my wedding. All of my friends have kids the same age so it will be nice to have them all together to celebrate with us.
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    This is more of a rant than a question - Why would anyone want to bring their children to a wedding?  It's a 1-2 hour sit down dinner with loud music and a bunch of adults drinking heavily.  Under what other circumstances is that a child friendly event?  Um, sounds like most family BBQs, holiday parties, childrens' birthday parties, or weddings I have ever been to.  Girl, relax.  The drunks aren't going to scar the kiddies for life.  There's nothing inherently child unfriendly with drinking, dancing, and loud music.


    We're in our mid 30s and getting married this summer.  Several of our invited friends have also been married in the last 2-3 years and also did not invite children to their wedding.  Now because they've magically become parents, they're incredulous that we might have decided the same.  It's not that we don't love kids, but if we included children we're at an additional 50 guests!  It amazes me that friends even ask - if your kids we're invited, we'd have put their names on the invitation.  Yep, you're right that it's kinda rude of them to ask you about the kids if their names were not on the invitation.

    I understand some of our friends won't be able to come because we've not invited their children but I don't like feeling like we're doing something wrong that we haven't invited their kids - just like they didn't invite kids at their own weddings.  


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    It's also really shitty for our friends to insinuate we're shitty people because by not including their children.  We've said "sorry, Little Timmy isn't included, hope you can make it" and we've had two different families tell us that Little Timmy would be with them the whole time and it wouldn't be a problem.  

    You are in total control of your reactions and feelings towards those comments.  Don't let them bother you.  Own your decision, which is perfectly fine to have a child free event, and stop feeling guilty about it and move on.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • I did not intend to hint that our friends are poor parents or that parents who bring their children to weddings are poor parents. I see how what I wrote is read that way, that is my fault, and I apologize. 


    My frustration is that we aren't talking about 1 or 2 or 10 kids, we're talking about an additional 50 kids we'd need to invite to cover everyone. We're the last in our respective friend groups to get married. Friends who have asked if their kids could come (even though their names weren't on the invitation), we have kindly explained this to them and they are still pushing back about why we should make exceptions for their children.  "Little Timmy is 13 months old and can't be away from mom yet." 
    Your friends are rude. They were raised badly, and their parents didn't bother to teach them social manners. 
    Too bad for them. There are lots of occasions that kids aren't invited to. They can just stay home and make sure their special little Snowflake doesn't melt if they're away for four or five hours. 
    I wouldn't feel guilty for a second. 
    lovegood90mrsdee15ashley8918TheDeathLlama
  • lightningsnowlightningsnow New Hampshire member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    I kinda take offense to the attitude that weddings are not child friendly. In my family it is extremely common for weddings to be child friendly. I think there was maybe one or two growing up that weren't and they weren't family weddings to begin with. When the time comes for my own wedding, I couldn't imagine not inviting my nieces and nephews.

    BF'so brother and SIL had an adult only wedding and said so right on the invite. It left a bad taste in the mouths of some of his family members. I think, at least for me personally, a child friendly wedding is way more fun. The kids cutting up the dance floor are so cute and really get you in the mood to dance.

    Like PPS have stated it is well in your right to have a child free wedding. But you should lose the attitude about it.
    Formerly known as bubbles053009





  • I kinda take offense to the attitude that weddings are not child friendly. In my family it is extremely common for weddings to be child friendly. I think there was maybe one or two growing up that weren't and they weren't family weddings to begin with. When the time comes for my own wedding, I couldn't imagine not inviting my nieces and nephews.

    BF'so brother and SIL had an adult only wedding and said so right on the invite. It left a bad taste in the mouths of some of his family members. I think, at least for me personally, a child friendly wedding is way more fun. The kids cutting up the dance floor are so cute and really get you in the mood to dance.

    Like PPS have stated it is well in your right to have a child free wedding. But you should lose the attitude about it.

    It was rude of your boyfriend's brother to say adults only (or whatever version of that) on their invites. I can see how that would give a bad impression. But hopefully it was that etiquette misstep that "left a bad taste in their mouths" and not the fact that they had a child free wedding.

    If you decide to include children at your own wedding that's wonderful. But it's pretty extreme to be offended by child free weddings. You would have been very offended by my wedding.
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • lightningsnowlightningsnow New Hampshire member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer

    I kinda take offense to the attitude that weddings are not child friendly. In my family it is extremely common for weddings to be child friendly. I think there was maybe one or two growing up that weren't and they weren't family weddings to begin with. When the time comes for my own wedding, I couldn't imagine not inviting my nieces and nephews.

    BF'so brother and SIL had an adult only wedding and said so right on the invite. It left a bad taste in the mouths of some of his family members. I think, at least for me personally, a child friendly wedding is way more fun. The kids cutting up the dance floor are so cute and really get you in the mood to dance.

    Like PPS have stated it is well in your right to have a child free wedding. But you should lose the attitude about it.

    It was rude of your boyfriend's brother to say adults only (or whatever version of that) on their invites. I can see how that would give a bad impression. But hopefully it was that etiquette misstep that "left a bad taste in their mouths" and not the fact that they had a child free wedding.

    If you decide to include children at your own wedding that's wonderful. But it's pretty extreme to be offended by child free weddings. You would have been very offended by my wedding.
    I can't speak for others but I know the adults only left a bad taste in my mouth. Especially since the flower girl and ring bearer were at the reception until late.

    I'm not offended by child free weddings. It's more the attitude that OP had about why would you want a child at a wedding. I apologize if my post came off as such. I may not have worded it correctly. Child free wedding can be fun on their own, I can admit to that. I just tend to have more fun at a child friendly wedding.
    Formerly known as bubbles053009





  • @lightningsnow I have to respectfully disagree with you. The OP sounds frustrated because her friends have set forth a double standard: "we didn't want or have children at our weddings but now that we have kids we must have them invited with us to your wedding even though you want a child-free wedding"

    Having a child-free wedding is not uncommon, nor is it rude.  My parents were invited to plenty of weddings when I was a child that I didn't get invited to, and they went and had a fun date-night out without me.  It's a good thing for children to learn--"no" and that sometimes you don't get your way and that some things are for grown ups; Not that all weddings are adults-only events, but some are. And that's OK to do!

    And just as a side note, I do not have children, but I can see myself wanting some date-nights with my husband without our children every now and then. It seems to me that a wedding may be that kind of event that I would enjoy with just my spouse.  Of course if I was invited to a wedding and my kids were invited, I'd maybe take them, but to me personally, I think a wedding is something I'd like to enjoy with my husband. It sounds like a lot of parents don't really get that special "husband-wife" time alone without the kids.  Maybe it's not true, but that's just what I see from the people I do know who have kids.  Just my own two cents really. 
    ChemFanatic25bride2b71614
  • I have heard some of my friends, who are otherwise sane and rational people, whine that their children were not allowed in a bar.

    I have learned not to go near children, or speak to children or even look at children unless I know them because so many parents be crazy.

    PrettyGirlLost
  • edited June 2015
  • edited June 2015
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    I kinda take offense to the attitude that weddings are not child friendly. In my family it is extremely common for weddings to be child friendly. I think there was maybe one or two growing up that weren't and they weren't family weddings to begin with. When the time comes for my own wedding, I couldn't imagine not inviting my nieces and nephews.

    BF'so brother and SIL had an adult only wedding and said so right on the invite. It left a bad taste in the mouths of some of his family members. I think, at least for me personally, a child friendly wedding is way more fun. The kids cutting up the dance floor are so cute and really get you in the mood to dance.

    Like PPS have stated it is well in your right to have a child free wedding. But you should lose the attitude about it.

    It was rude of your boyfriend's brother to say adults only (or whatever version of that) on their invites. I can see how that would give a bad impression. But hopefully it was that etiquette misstep that "left a bad taste in their mouths" and not the fact that they had a child free wedding.

    If you decide to include children at your own wedding that's wonderful. But it's pretty extreme to be offended by child free weddings. You would have been very offended by my wedding.
    I can't speak for others but I know the adults only left a bad taste in my mouth. Especially since the flower girl and ring bearer were at the reception until late.

    I'm not offended by child free weddings. It's more the attitude that OP had about why would you want a child at a wedding. I apologize if my post came off as such. I may not have worded it correctly. Child free wedding can be fun on their own, I can admit to that. I just tend to have more fun at a child friendly wedding.


    But those children were IN the wedding so it only makes sense that they were at the reception as well.

    southernbelle0915arrrghmatey
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    I kinda take offense to the attitude that weddings are not child friendly. In my family it is extremely common for weddings to be child friendly. I think there was maybe one or two growing up that weren't and they weren't family weddings to begin with. When the time comes for my own wedding, I couldn't imagine not inviting my nieces and nephews.

    BF'so brother and SIL had an adult only wedding and said so right on the invite. It left a bad taste in the mouths of some of his family members. I think, at least for me personally, a child friendly wedding is way more fun. The kids cutting up the dance floor are so cute and really get you in the mood to dance.

    Like PPS have stated it is well in your right to have a child free wedding. But you should lose the attitude about it.

    No. You need to lose the attitude that everyone's wedding has to be child-friendly. Neither you nor anyone else have the right to expect anyone to make their wedding child-friendly.

    If you don't want to accept a wedding invitation that doesn't include your children, that's your right, but it doesn't make you a "victim" if you do so. It's your choice not to accept the invitation-just as it's the hosts' choice not to invite or accommodate your children.
    lovegood90AlexisA01
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    We had a child-free wedding and got some push back as well. No one rudely told us they were going to bring their kid anyway. If they did, we would have told them that the child would not be accommodated. I would have explained to them that we weren't accommodating ANY children (not just their special snowflake). If they persisted, I would tell them that if they brought the child, they would be asked to leave. 


    So, question, and this is curiosity and nothing more: would you have really asked that the children leave? Well, not you, literally, but would you have instructed the coordinator to tell people they had to take the kids out? 
    Personally, I would have. If someone made a point of doing that to me, yes. I budgeted X amount for food and favors and such, and I didn't have the cash to be charged for more meals and things. I get that it's a kid, but to me, it's not very different from someone bringing an adult I specifically didn't invite and said wouldn't be accommodated. What part of that was unclear? And if you take the wedding aspect out of it, say it was a dinner party at my house or a get-together at a restaurant and I only had food and room for X people. Would you not be a shit person to bring people along that I have no room, money, or food for? Then the caterer / venue gets on MY butt about how there are people there I didn't pay for, and they're going to tack on X and Y food and fees because I broke contract.

    So yeah, I would totally have them escorted out.
    Me too. Factor in that if I signed a contract that the wedding would be adults-only, it's at a location that doesn't permit children, or extra guests would put me in violation of capacity codes, I have no choice about requiring guests who bring uninvited children to take them away. It doesn't matter how sad or tragic anyone thinks it is, and it doesn't matter if it's not what a "bigger person" would do. Parents of uninvited children who get turned away are not "victims.". They brought it on themselves.
    lovegood90PrettyGirlLost
  • OP, I hear you but some people totally see this as a family-friendly event regardless of how THEY FELT DURING THEIR OWN EVENT!  There are people who will mistreat you and say stuff about you, and then turn around expecting an invite to your wedding!  But back to the subject, they view it as a family reunion and honestly, you could be paying 100 bucks a plate, and they feel like not only they but their kids, and their kids' kids are ENTITLED to be invited and come.  It ain't right, but that's how it goes sometimes.

    In my case, we wanted a very child-light wedding.  Like-- a select few could come b/c the logistics made no sense otherwise.  But on the good side, the bulk of our guests were pretty stoked about NOT bringing their kids (and we didn't even have to say a word).  When a guest here or there asked if their 15 year old could come, we were like "yeah, that's fine."  But interestingly enough, my cousin who thought she could be bring her 4 kids and told her brother to bring his 5 kids, said that because I didn't have on my website or invitation "no kids", it's clear that kids WERE invited... so apparently I was the bad guy in not specifying that NO KIDS are allowed.  It took her mother to tell her that that is not the case and maybe she should look at who the invitation was addressed to and call me to make sure. 


  • OP, I hear you but some people totally see this as a family-friendly event regardless of how THEY FELT DURING THEIR OWN EVENT!  There are people who will mistreat you and say stuff about you, and then turn around expecting an invite to your wedding!  But back to the subject, they view it as a family reunion and honestly, you could be paying 100 bucks a plate, and they feel like not only they but their kids, and their kids' kids are ENTITLED to be invited and come.  It ain't right, but that's how it goes sometimes.

    In my case, we wanted a very child-light wedding.  Like-- a select few could come b/c the logistics made no sense otherwise.  But on the good side, the bulk of our guests were pretty stoked about NOT bringing their kids (and we didn't even have to say a word).  When a guest here or there asked if their 15 year old could come, we were like "yeah, that's fine."  But interestingly enough, my cousin who thought she could be bring her 4 kids and told her brother to bring his 5 kids, said that because I didn't have on my website or invitation "no kids", it's clear that kids WERE invited... so apparently I was the bad guy in not specifying that NO KIDS are allowed.  It took her mother to tell her that that is not the case and maybe she should look at who the invitation was addressed to and call me to make sure. 



    This is what I'm worried about. My Mom just said word has gone around about the no children aspect of my wedding. So, I mentioned to her the different options for babysitting (if people choose to go that route) and I brought up one option but it is only for 3 and up. And I said "so for babies they would have to find a different option" and she was like "but babies won't count towards your total will they?" So, even my Mom doesn't get it and I've specifically told her it is an adults only wedding.
  • OP, I hear you but some people totally see this as a family-friendly event regardless of how THEY FELT DURING THEIR OWN EVENT!  There are people who will mistreat you and say stuff about you, and then turn around expecting an invite to your wedding!  But back to the subject, they view it as a family reunion and honestly, you could be paying 100 bucks a plate, and they feel like not only they but their kids, and their kids' kids are ENTITLED to be invited and come.  It ain't right, but that's how it goes sometimes.

    In my case, we wanted a very child-light wedding.  Like-- a select few could come b/c the logistics made no sense otherwise.  But on the good side, the bulk of our guests were pretty stoked about NOT bringing their kids (and we didn't even have to say a word).  When a guest here or there asked if their 15 year old could come, we were like "yeah, that's fine."  But interestingly enough, my cousin who thought she could be bring her 4 kids and told her brother to bring his 5 kids, said that because I didn't have on my website or invitation "no kids", it's clear that kids WERE invited... so apparently I was the bad guy in not specifying that NO KIDS are allowed.  It took her mother to tell her that that is not the case and maybe she should look at who the invitation was addressed to and call me to make sure. 



    This is what I'm worried about. My Mom just said word has gone around about the no children aspect of my wedding. So, I mentioned to her the different options for babysitting (if people choose to go that route) and I brought up one option but it is only for 3 and up. And I said "so for babies they would have to find a different option" and she was like "but babies won't count towards your total will they?" So, even my Mom doesn't get it and I've specifically told her it is an adults only wedding.
    You just have to keep reiterating your stance.  People will all try to make cases "well, my kid is 6 and the flower girl is 5 so...".  If you want an adult-only or adult-mainly event, then you keep it that way.  You (or someone close to you) are paying for it.  We were OK for like 90% of the time without having to put the "no kids" on invites and stuff .. but we got the word out a little earlier (and gently) about the no kids if you can help it.  Again, most people with kids couldn't wait to not have them at an event.  It would help you out a lot if your Mom would back you up just a bit.  It doesn't matter that babies don't count --- it's the type of event you want.  You have to lay down the law and stick to it.  And if you want to change your mind, change it because you want to, not because you got pressured into it.  

  • OP, I hear you but some people totally see this as a family-friendly event regardless of how THEY FELT DURING THEIR OWN EVENT!  There are people who will mistreat you and say stuff about you, and then turn around expecting an invite to your wedding!  But back to the subject, they view it as a family reunion and honestly, you could be paying 100 bucks a plate, and they feel like not only they but their kids, and their kids' kids are ENTITLED to be invited and come.  It ain't right, but that's how it goes sometimes.

    In my case, we wanted a very child-light wedding.  Like-- a select few could come b/c the logistics made no sense otherwise.  But on the good side, the bulk of our guests were pretty stoked about NOT bringing their kids (and we didn't even have to say a word).  When a guest here or there asked if their 15 year old could come, we were like "yeah, that's fine."  But interestingly enough, my cousin who thought she could be bring her 4 kids and told her brother to bring his 5 kids, said that because I didn't have on my website or invitation "no kids", it's clear that kids WERE invited... so apparently I was the bad guy in not specifying that NO KIDS are allowed.  It took her mother to tell her that that is not the case and maybe she should look at who the invitation was addressed to and call me to make sure. 



    This is what I'm worried about. My Mom just said word has gone around about the no children aspect of my wedding. So, I mentioned to her the different options for babysitting (if people choose to go that route) and I brought up one option but it is only for 3 and up. And I said "so for babies they would have to find a different option" and she was like "but babies won't count towards your total will they?" So, even my Mom doesn't get it and I've specifically told her it is an adults only wedding.
    You just have to keep reiterating your stance.  People will all try to make cases "well, my kid is 6 and the flower girl is 5 so...".  If you want an adult-only or adult-mainly event, then you keep it that way.  You (or someone close to you) are paying for it.  We were OK for like 90% of the time without having to put the "no kids" on invites and stuff .. but we got the word out a little earlier (and gently) about the no kids if you can help it.  Again, most people with kids couldn't wait to not have them at an event.  It would help you out a lot if your Mom would back you up just a bit.  It doesn't matter that babies don't count --- it's the type of event you want.  You have to lay down the law and stick to it.  And if you want to change your mind, change it because you want to, not because you got pressured into it.  
    Thanks for your advice, it is very helpful to hear as this is stressful for me. My Mom was understanding once I explained it to her, I just meant if she didn't get that an adult only wedding means no babies I'm worried others won't either.

  • OP, I hear you but some people totally see this as a family-friendly event regardless of how THEY FELT DURING THEIR OWN EVENT!  There are people who will mistreat you and say stuff about you, and then turn around expecting an invite to your wedding!  But back to the subject, they view it as a family reunion and honestly, you could be paying 100 bucks a plate, and they feel like not only they but their kids, and their kids' kids are ENTITLED to be invited and come.  It ain't right, but that's how it goes sometimes.

    In my case, we wanted a very child-light wedding.  Like-- a select few could come b/c the logistics made no sense otherwise.  But on the good side, the bulk of our guests were pretty stoked about NOT bringing their kids (and we didn't even have to say a word).  When a guest here or there asked if their 15 year old could come, we were like "yeah, that's fine."  But interestingly enough, my cousin who thought she could be bring her 4 kids and told her brother to bring his 5 kids, said that because I didn't have on my website or invitation "no kids", it's clear that kids WERE invited... so apparently I was the bad guy in not specifying that NO KIDS are allowed.  It took her mother to tell her that that is not the case and maybe she should look at who the invitation was addressed to and call me to make sure. 



    This is what I'm worried about. My Mom just said word has gone around about the no children aspect of my wedding. So, I mentioned to her the different options for babysitting (if people choose to go that route) and I brought up one option but it is only for 3 and up. And I said "so for babies they would have to find a different option" and she was like "but babies won't count towards your total will they?" So, even my Mom doesn't get it and I've specifically told her it is an adults only wedding.
    You just have to keep reiterating your stance.  People will all try to make cases "well, my kid is 6 and the flower girl is 5 so...".  If you want an adult-only or adult-mainly event, then you keep it that way.  You (or someone close to you) are paying for it.  We were OK for like 90% of the time without having to put the "no kids" on invites and stuff .. but we got the word out a little earlier (and gently) about the no kids if you can help it.  Again, most people with kids couldn't wait to not have them at an event.  It would help you out a lot if your Mom would back you up just a bit.  It doesn't matter that babies don't count --- it's the type of event you want.  You have to lay down the law and stick to it.  And if you want to change your mind, change it because you want to, not because you got pressured into it.  
    Thanks for your advice, it is very helpful to hear as this is stressful for me. My Mom was understanding once I explained it to her, I just meant if she didn't get that an adult only wedding means no babies I'm worried others won't either.
    Oh, I see.  Then I would follow the advice of the previous posters --- just call the people when you get their replies back and make it clear that you're keeping it adult-only... also, your Mom could be a good word-of-mouther/explainer as well.  So can your BMs and the FI! 
  • This is more of a rant than a question - Why would anyone want to bring their children to a wedding?  It's a 1-2 hour sit down dinner with loud music and a bunch of adults drinking heavily.  Under what other circumstances is that a child friendly event?  


    We're in our mid 30s and getting married this summer.  Several of our invited friends have also been married in the last 2-3 years and also did not invite children to their wedding.  Now because they've magically become parents, they're incredulous that we might have decided the same.  It's not that we don't love kids, but if we included children we're at an additional 50 guests!  It amazes me that friends even ask - if your kids we're invited, we'd have put their names on the invitation.  

    I understand some of our friends won't be able to come because we've not invited their children but I don't like feeling like we're doing something wrong that we haven't invited their kids - just like they didn't invite kids at their own weddings.  
    Kids - just say no.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • While it technically has nothing to do with whether one invites children or not, I did want to point out since no one has yet that a wedding does not inherently mean a lengthy sit-down dinner. Ours was a diner-style lunch of burgers/hotdogs and fries. My aunt's was mid-afternoon with cake and various snacks but no meal since it wasn't a meal time. Some weddings are private. It's not okay to insinuate that a wedding that deviates from the (relatively new) evening formal dinner scenario is somehow lacking.

    But by all means tell the stubborn parents, "Little Timmy is not invited and not allowed. Since you cannot leave him, I will mark you as not attending. We would love to make plans to see you all some other time."
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