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Help me win an argument: registry info on invitation

whovianstarkwhovianstark member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
A few months ago I got wedding invitation samples and ALL of them had registry info on them. I told FI we won't be doing this. But all of the wedding invitations we have received lately have the information about where the couple is registered on it. I stated that it is rude because even though a wedding invitation comes with a "social obligation" to give a gift I don't want that obligation to come from me, especially because our wedding is somewhat of a destination wedding (I was tempted to put your presence is the only present we need but thanks to these boards I am not). Now, my FI is not gift grabby AT ALL. His point is just that when he is invited to a wedding he always gives a gift and he wants the information to be as easy as possible to find. I did put my foot down that the information will not be on our invites (it is on our website) and he is completely fine with that... I was just hoping/curious for some better ways to explain why registry information does not belong on the invitation.

Thanks in advance!
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Re: Help me win an argument: registry info on invitation

  • flutteringinflflutteringinfl member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2015
    You are correct. Registry information should only be included with a shower invite. On our STD's, we're directing guests to our website for "important hotel and travel information" because everyone will be coming in from out of town, but I also included our registry information on the website (which we're not mentioning on the STD's). I think this is kosher, but outright directing them to a registry is not.

    I got into a similar disagreement with my mother who believes that not putting registry info on invites is rude because "you're trying to anticipate guests's needs." The way I see it, it's not hard for them to contact me, my FI, my mother, or my FMIL, or pretty much anyone and say, "Where are you/they registered? Oh, Bed Bath and Beyond? Fabulous, thanks!"
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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    It's rude to put it on an invite because 1. it's presumptuous and 2. it's like asking for a gift. Gifts should never be expected. 

    I got a wedding invite that had registry info on it and I saw it as the couple saying, "Buy us a gift, and we want one from this store!" or "We invited you because we want you to bring us a gift!" (Maybe I'm judging this particular invite a little harshly because it also said right on it, "adults only," "no food will be served," "cash bar" and then "here's where we're registered." It was a real piece of work. 
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Registry information should NEVER be on wedding invitations. Reason? It translates to: "I expect presents - here's where you can buy them."

    Most people don't have the intention of actually saying that. However, whether they like it or not, that's how it comes off - hence, why its against etiquette.

    These days, it's incredibly easy to figure out where people are registered (google: 'full name, registry'), so the "but it's convenient for people!" argument doesn't fly.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2015

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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Take it outside of the wedding context. Is there any other situation where you think it would be acceptable to approach someone and say "here are a list of acceptable gifts to get me"? 

    I send my grandparents a Christmas card every year. I know Grandma is going to get me a gift, and she knows she's going to get me a gift. I even know she's going to ask me what I want. Enclosing registry information would be like including a list of gift ideas in Grandma's gift card instead of waiting for her to ask. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Nope, FI is wrong.  You never include registry information on an invitation.  It is telling your guests that you expect a gift and comes off very gift grabby. 


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  • whovianstarkwhovianstark member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Thanks everyone! The other thing I was thinking is that I put a bunch of thought into my invitations to make them very unique... and then what... I'm going to slap a Bed Bath and Beyond advertisement on it? Gross.
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    whovianstark said:

    Thanks everyone! The other thing I was thinking is that I put a bunch of thought into my invitations to make them very unique... and then what... I'm going to slap a Bed Bath and Beyond advertisement on it? Gross.

    But don't you want registry confetti to fall out of your invitation when people open it?!


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  • littlepeplittlepep member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    novella1186 said:

    It's rude to put it on an invite because 1. it's presumptuous and 2. it's like asking for a gift. Gifts should never be expected. 


    I got a wedding invite that had registry info on it and I saw it as the couple saying, "Buy us a gift, and we want one from this store!" or "We invited you because we want you to bring us a gift!" (Maybe I'm judging this particular invite a little harshly because it also said right on it, "adults only," "no food will be served," "cash bar" and then "here's where we're registered." It was a real piece of work. 
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  • whovianstarkwhovianstark member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    levioosa said:

    whovianstark said:

    Thanks everyone! The other thing I was thinking is that I put a bunch of thought into my invitations to make them very unique... and then what... I'm going to slap a Bed Bath and Beyond advertisement on it? Gross.

    But don't you want registry confetti to fall out of your invitation when people open it?!
    levioosa said:

    whovianstark said:

    Thanks everyone! The other thing I was thinking is that I put a bunch of thought into my invitations to make them very unique... and then what... I'm going to slap a Bed Bath and Beyond advertisement on it? Gross.

    But don't you want registry confetti to fall out of your invitation when people open it?!
    Oh! I could have an invitation that talks when you open it "purchase our gifts at Bed , Bath and Beyond or bring cash"
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    It's rude to put it on an invite because 1. it's presumptuous and 2. it's like asking for a gift. Gifts should never be expected. 

    I got a wedding invite that had registry info on it and I saw it as the couple saying, "Buy us a gift, and we want one from this store!" or "We invited you because we want you to bring us a gift!" (Maybe I'm judging this particular invite a little harshly because it also said right on it, "adults only," "no food will be served," "cash bar" and then "here's where we're registered." It was a real piece of work. 
    THIS. To me, it changes the "vibe" of the invitation from "hey I like you and I want you to be at our wedding" to "hey you should buy me some shit".
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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