Does the fmil usually help with the bridal shower? I am just
not sure what to do with my FI’s mom. Im an probably letting it bother me more than
it should but with work, wedding planning, another side job I do, and other
things, I am exhausted and certain little things have been bothering me!
From the time I got engaged, one of my sisters and a friend
said that they wanted to host a shower for me. My wedding is in July but my
friend is helping a lot with her brother’s June wedding and the spring gets
busy for me so we decided on Saturday afternoon in April. I gave names and addresses to the people I
would like invited to my sister and she sent out invites over a month ago and
from there I have no idea what else is planned (the only thing I have done is a
few people have RSVPd to me so I let my sister know).
Then enters in my FI’s mom. Before the invites were sent he
just gave her a heads up on date and location of the shower and she really didn’t
say much. When the invite arrived she called him all upset that she was not
involved with scheduling of this and that we should know better because she
attends church service on Saturday nights. The shower starts at 1 pm and is less than a
30 minute drive for her so attending her 5 pm mass really should not be an
issue and worst case scenario she attends another church in town that does an
8pm mass (it’s a later service to accommodate for the farmers in the
community). He tells her that it is what
it is and if she has any concerns to call/text/email my sister.
Last week she called again all worked up again that we
(being my FI and I) and are not keeping her filled in with details on the
shower and is just generally all upset about it. He tried to tell her that we
are not a part of the planning and that she would need to contact my sister. I
was hoping it was the end of it when she called again last night all upset
because my sister told her that everything was pretty much planned out and that
at this time she didn’t need any help but would let her know if she needed
anything. And then his mom went on complaining that I did not invite any of her
friends and that she is planning a lunch the next day at her house for family
and that now that this shower “thing” was sprung on her she doesn’t know what
she should do since she will need to get ready for that. I did not invite her
friends because I just do not know them. I invited her sisters/SILs because I
have met them and personally know them- I would have felt odd sending an invite
to people that I have never met for something like a shower. My FI basically told her to show up at 1 and
just not worry about anything (which she didn’t like hearing).
So in closing- do FMILs usually help with showers? Should I
step in and tell my sister what has been going on and ask that she gets his mom
involved or do I just let it go? I do not have a great relationship with his
mom- we have nothing in common and just do not see eye to eye on most things.
She was getting nit-picky and argued with me when talking about wedding plans so
I think she is generally upset that my FI and I have been doing a bulk of the wedding
planning without her.
Sorry this got longer then I expected.
Thanks in Advance!